Chương 11: Home
The next morning Fei Li had come to terms with his circumstances and had a better grip on his emotions. He was able to act normally, accepting breakfast from Lu Qinyi without reaction. Lu Qinyi ate his own meal, thinking about something rather. Part way through breakfast he asked, "General Fei... do you miss home?" Fei Li froze at this, his mind whirring as he tried to work out why Lu Qinyi would ask this out of the blue. Seeing Fei Li didn't respond, Lu Qinyi continued, "Ah, sorry. I should start by asking if you remember your home yet... You haven't mentioned it. But home isn't something one can forget, right?" He seemed to have trailed off in his own thoughts.
Fei Li contemplated before answering, "What do you mean by home?" It wasn't that Fei Li didn't have an understanding of home, he had a warm house with his complicated but ultimately caring parents waiting at home for him. He had his men waiting for him at the border. He had the afternoon sunshine, warm breeze, long grass and bubbling streams of his homeland waiting for him. The truthful answer is that he did miss his home, especially with this bitter cold morning that could even seep past the cloak wrapped around him. But he wasn't about to tell Lu Qinyi that.
Lu Qinyi hummed as he considered the question. "For others it might be a particular place, their house or home town, or maybe wherever their loved ones are. For me... Wherever in the South, as long as there is friends, food and fun. Oh, and paper. Yanlin says she doesn't care for my letters but I think she would be lonelier without them," he declared surely, taking another bite of his egg roll. This general really was hard to take seriously. This was truly the fearsome general he worried about at night? The only time he had been vaguely general-like was when he had stopped that assassination attempt. He recalled how General Lu had truly seemed willing to give his soldier's life in compensation. He felt that was a bit much to be willing to do for an enemy general you were holding hostage. Actually... everything General Lu did for him was a bit much. He had never once treated him like a prisoner, actually Fei Li felt he was treated better than even an honoured guest would be. He really couldn't understand this, mulling it over as he stirred the spoon in his sweet tofu pudding.
Lu Qinyi's voice broke his thoughts, that light teasing tone of his like sandpaper against Fei Li's nerves. "Since when did you take to playing with your food General Fei?"
Fei Li couldn't help the irritable expression that flashed on his face, lifting his spoon to eat the pudding with a look of displeasure at Lu Qinyi's teases. Lu Qinyi only gave a short laugh. "There there, General Fei. I was only playing, don't take it to heart."
'Your playing is the problem' Fei Li thought to himself, even more aggrieved at having to tolerate Lu Qinyi's poor attempts at placating him. They felt more like salt in the wounds. Since when was the last time someone talked to him like this? Yet Lu Qinyi did it day in and day out.
After breakfast was finished, by routine Fei Li would move to Lu Qinyi's room while the other worked or slacked off depending on the day. Since he didn't want to arouse suspicion, he begrudgingly decided he would accompany Lu Qinyi as usual. At the very least, Lu Qinyi's room warmed up better than his did.
Just as they were about to walk out of the room, Lu Qinyi paused. Fei Li watched as he walked back into the room, returning with the jade hairpin. Since Fei Li didn't normally use them, Lu Qinyi had been putting his hair up for him after breakfast. Fei Li wasn't keen on this and so had conveniently forgotten. But Lu Qinyi didn't. He hooked Fei Li's hair around the pin, twisting it then pushing the pin in place all before Fei Li could even react. It was done lazily and in passing so it wasn't particularly neat and tidy but it held in place surprisingly well for the matter of moments it took to do. Lu Qinyi kept walking as if nothing had happened, leaving Fei Li to follow after him with complicated feelings but a usual blank expression on his face, showing nothing.
--- ~~~---
Throughout the next couple days, everything passed similarly. Fei Li swallowed his anger, disgust and sometimes outright despair, playing the peaceful, clingy friend to his archenemy. At the same time he took note of the guards and their routines. The guards used were different from ordinary soldiers, seeming both capable and experienced. Two were constantly stationed at his door, he caught glimpses of at least another two guards that seemed to always be nearby. The guards were regularly rotated out one by one, never dismissed at the same time and only leaving once their replacement took position. The only exit from the courtyard was the one that led towards the soldier's hall. Zhao Mei and Yang Xun were often in and out during the day but would always return before it got too late at night. The servants of this courtyard were only surnamed Lin, meaning only General Lu's personal family servants were here. Unbribable, likely difficult to trick and any attempts would certainly be reported to General Lu. There was no way to escape nor any way to get information out of here.
He stood in the courtyard, amongst the fluttering snow. It was still early in the morning and General Lu hadn't gotten up yet so Fei Li had wandered about the courtyard until he became lost in his thoughts. He had unknowingly stopped walking, simply standing in the gently falling snow. He spun around quickly however when he heard the crunch of steps in the snow behind him.
He came face to face with Lu Qinyi who stood closer than he was comfortable with, which was wherever made him within arms reach of the other. He froze up but knew not to make any sudden movements, or else he would blow his cover. But this proved difficult to maintain as Lu Qinyi reached a hand out. Fei Li could only helplessly watch, not having any idea of the other's intentions, mumbling a questioning "General Lu?"
But Lu Qinyi merely pulled Fei Li's hood up, adjusting it to sit properly around his head.
"A Northerner like you will catch a cold standing in the snow like that. You should keep your hood up." He said mildly, his hand falling back to his side. Fei Li was at a loss, staring at him with his brows slightly furrowed.
"What's with the formalities anyway? I thought you had taken to calling my name. Why have you gone back to my title? Are you mad at me?" He asked, seeming a bit displeased. The truth was there was no way Fei Li could bring himself to refer to Lu Qinyi by anything but his title, absolutely not. So he remained silent. But when met with the rather common lack of response, Lu Qinyi seemed to shrug it off as nothing important, that unbothered smile on his face once more.
"Here, try one of these." He took a roasted chestnut from the paper held in his other hand, holding it out for him. Fei Li took it from him, pressing at it with his fingers uncertainly. Then he put it in his mouth only to spit it onto the snow after a couple chews. Lu Qinyi laughed while Fei Li scrunched his nose slightly in displeasure. "And here I thought you'd like them. I suppose they aren't as popular in the North. I didn't take roasted chestnuts as an acquired taste but even I can be wrong. Your loss." Lu Qinyi commented, pleased that he could eat the rest of them by himself. He popped one in his mouth, chewing contently as he spun to walk away. Fei Li lifted his hand to touch the hood, feeling the frozen tips of his ears defrosting in the warmth the fabric trapped. He frowned slightly. This definitely isn't how you're meant to treat enemies or prisoners. So what exactly was General Lu doing?
---~~~---
The evening was quiet. Lu Qinyi had let it remain comfortable and peaceful for a while, reading over the draft documents for a new training regime he was meant to amend. He scrawled some notes over the page then glanced up. Fei Li was sitting in the corner, cloak draped over his shoulders with the clasp undone. To top it off, he even had a blanket over his legs, the book he was reading laid on top. Lu Qinyi felt the calling of mischief in this much too peaceful night where he had barely talked and only did boring paperwork. So he started tapping on the surface of the desk with the end of his brush. Sure enough, Fei Li's brows knit together slightly, glancing up from the book. Lu Qinyi held his expression in place, pretending to be focused on reading through the draft. Fei Li seemed to press his lips together almost unnoticeably as he looked down to the book again, trying to ignore the sound. But Lu Qinyi had noticed he had been more irritable and moody lately. Even if he remained as expressionless and of few words as usual, they had spent months essentially living together. He could tell. And so he knew he only needed to wait, that continuous tapping seeming so much louder in the otherwise silent night.
He watched with carefully hidden amusement as that line between Fei Li's brows slowly got deeper. Fei Li shot him another glance. This time Lu Qinyi looked up to meet it, his expression one of innocence and questioning, tilting his head slightly to seal the performance. Fei Li stubbornly lowered his head again, pulling the book closer to his face as if burying himself amongst the pages would block out that obnoxious tapping sound. Lu Qinyi's lips curled, hidden from view as he kept his head lowered. Time continued to slip by, that tapping only seeming to get louder. Finally it seemed Fei Li couldn't take it anymore, raising his head from the book, a forced neutral expression on his face. "The tapping..."
Lu Qinyi looked up with an innocent expression he knew must be infuriating. "Tapping?" He feigned ignorance, eyebrows raising slightly.
Fei Li's lips seemed to twitch. He was much too tired and his head was aching particularly badly today. He had a moment of peace, almost able to tolerate this enemy of his when he quietly did his work. And yet it had to be ruined by that incessant tapping that played on his already frayed nerves. "Your brush. It's tapping." He lifted a hand to gently rub his fingers against his temple.
Seeing that the other seemed irritated and might have had a headache, Lu Qinyi decided not to push it too far. "Oh, I see. Sorry about that."
Fei Li simply nodded, his gaze falling to the book again. Lu Qinyi hadn't even gotten to think about whether he would find something new to bother Fei Li with or whether he would finish his work when he was interrupted.
A soldier knocked on the door. Upon receiving permission, he entered, saluting as he reported, "General, Lieutenant Yang has requested your assistance." Yang Xun was redoing the roster for duties like guarding and such tonight. Lu Qinyi sighed. He really didn't want to provide assistance but Yang Xun considered him to still be on thin ice after finding out Zhao Mei had blackmail material because of him. So he reluctantly got up to grab his cloak and walk to the door. But when he reached the door, he felt something was odd. He looked back at Fei Li, who had his head down, reading his book. Normally Fei Li would stare after him, waiting for either permission to follow along or to be denied, only after which would he continue what he was doing. Tonight, Fei Li didn't even glance as he left. He frowned slightly as he turned to walk away. Perhaps it was too cold to want to come along?
At some point Fei Li had looked up from his now undisturbed reading, blinking his eyes tiredly. He was starting to get too tired for leisure reading. Just as he thought that, closing the book on his lap, his gaze fell on the documents Lu Qinyi had left on his desk. He glanced at the closed door, then at the closed blind. No one was here. No one could see in. General Lu had been gone for a short while now. Fei Li decided his chances of getting caught were low, standing up to walk over to the desk. His eyes scanned the paper. He then shifted the paper aside to look at one below it. These seemed to be training regimes. They must still be in the drafting process as Lu Qinyi's handwritten notes covered the pages, making corrections. Lu Qinyi's handwriting, although slanted from being carelessly written, was ultimately quite neat and small. He glanced at the other pages, more interested in the hand writing than the training regime. Knowledge of the training regime wasn't of much use to him but being able to recognize General Lu's handwriting could let him identify if any letters they intercepted were by him.
He heard footsteps approaching so he put the papers back in order and returned back to his corner, flipping the book open. When the door opened, the scene looked the same as when Lu Qinyi had left. "Miss me?" Lu Qinyi asked jokingly as he walked in, undoing the clasp at his throat and pulling his cloak from his shoulders, shaking the snow from it. Fei Li only glanced at him for a moment before returning to reading. Lu Qinyi tossed aside his cloak before sitting back at the desk. However he paused when he looked down at the draft papers. The papers had been moved. The difference in their position was minute but Lu Qinyi still noticed. He glanced at Fei Li who was still focused on reading, turning the page of his book with a flick of his fingers. Lu Qinyi then looked back at those papers, thinking for a moment before he picked up the brush to finish his work.
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