Chương 22: An Apology
"I warned you not to suddenly rush it…" He An sighed. He wanted to pull out so that they could have a proper conversation, but Qi Xiu had his legs wrapped tightly around his waist in order to keep him in place. He would have to prey him off forcefully.
He couldn't bear to do that to him.
Seeing how stubborn his cub was being, He An carefully switched their positions so that he was now the one on top. He was still stuffed inside Qi Xiu.
After confirming that Qi Xiu was ready, he slowly started to move. He knew the beginning would be quite uncomfortable for his cub, so he wanted to make him feel pleasure as soon as possible.
While He An was busy overthinking, Qi Xiu clung onto him more, not caring about the pain in his lower half. He just wanted to cherish this moment while it lasted.
"Is it here...?" He An mumbled.
Qi Xiu suddenly moaned when he felt something hit a certain area inside him that felt... good. Hearing Qi Xiu moan under him, He An tried aiming for that spot again and received another positive reaction.
While neither had any idea how this would turn out, they both chose to not think about anything else.
The two spent the rest of the night tangled with each other and in the end, Qi Xiu was too tired to take it anymore. His sore body full of red marks was cleaned by He An and carried back to bed.
Before he lost consciousness, he heard the man stroking his head speak, "I'm sorry."
After Qi Xiu was soundly asleep, Six finally appeared and flickered around shamelessly.
He An turned to look at it and said bluntly, [I'm going to stay here until Qi Xiu dies.]
Six: [Host is so bad! You took advantage of our little protagonist!]
He An: [Don't speak nonsense. You already knew my choice... now quickly tell me what Qi Xiu has gone through, those scars on his body shouldn't be there because of war alone.]
Six became quiet and tried to act like it didn't know a thing.
He An: [You told me he was doing fine.]
Six: [...]
[O-Okay! ToT Don't be mad host, erm... he's been inflicting those scars on himself….!!]
After saying so, it ran to hide behind a nearby object, not giving He An the chance to lash out on it.
He An: [You hid such important information from me. What else are you hiding?]
Six suddenly paused and hid more, showing that it was guilty. He An sighed and put the tiny spirit into his hands, threatening to crush it to death if it didn't tell him what it was keeping from him.
Six: [Host, don't do this!!! QwQ Wait—wait stop crushing me! I'll tell you, wuwuwu! Qi Xiu is... he's reborn..!!!]
He An frowned.
[I know that.]
Six: [Why did you make me tell you then!]
He An: [I wanted to confirm my suspicions. No wonder he acted that way... now that I know, I'm starting to want to turn you into spirit meat.]
Upon hearing this, Six disappeared from sight.
*
By the time it was morning, Qi Xiu was already awake and was currently staring at He An's face.
He hadn't seen this face in three years...
There was a familiar comfort in seeing him. Though Qi Xiu didn't know how he should be feeling right now, the complicated emotions in him dissipated the moment he looked at He An.
It seemed he stared too hard because a few minutes later, He An opened his eyes and the two stared at each other in silence.
"You... how are you feeling?" To break the awkward air between them, He An was willing to speak first. He didn't know how to start the conversation however so his words came out in a weird manner.
"It doesn't concern you." Qi Xiu coldly replied before sitting. The crybaby from before was replaced with the unfriendly Emperor.
The maids were already been stationed inside. They greeted him and quickly fixed his attire, preparing to help him get dressed. None of them acknowledged He An's existence, despite knowing the hickeys on their Emperor's body were most likely his work of art.
When Qi Xiu finished getting ready, he was just about to leave when He An interrupted his routine.
"Don't you think we need to have a talk?" He An questioned.
"What is there to talk about?" Qi Xiu sneered. "Your body has told me enough."
"…Qi Xiu." He An begged.
In the end, Qi Xiu still had obsessive attachments to He An. No matter how much he wanted to disregard him, he could not bring himself to do it, so he grumpily agreed at last. The maids were dismissed.
Only when they were truly alone did He An speak.
"What you asked last night…" He An continued, "I felt too guilty, so I could not immediately respond."
Qi Xiu clenched his fists and looked away. He knew what the answer was going to be. Yet the moment he did so, his head quickly turned back.
"I've always regretted doing that to you. Every single day we were apart, I was torn apart by guilt and anger towards myself. I may not be suited to say this, but I only wanted to protect you.
Back then, I was not strong enough. I'm still weak, even now. The only thing I could do for you was to send you back to your country. If I kept you by my side…
No, that wasn't an option from the beginning. With or without me, your destiny was always to be here. The south. Where you belong. I wouldn't dare shackle your freedom even if I wanted to so badly."
"What are you saying?" Qi Xiu backed away as He An approached him. He couldn't understand what the other was trying to convey. It was like this last night, too. The person in front of him was like a completely different person. He didn't remember him being so bold in the past.
"Yet now I regret forcing you to leave. I should have defied the heavens and nurtured you carefully rather than sending you away." He An embraced him. He gently grabbed his arm, caressing the places where visible scars and wounds were seen.
"…"
The man under him did not utter anything, but also did not push him away.
"I'm sorry, cub. I've caused you to suffer."
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