Chương 3: Occlumency and Awakening
A/N: Pat-reon: HelloDarkness07.
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Okay. It was time. It was finally time. In the past month and a few days, I have read 4 books on psychology, 2 on meditation, 2 of Sherlock Holmes' chapters which describe the Mind palace, and I remember the sole instruction Snape gave to Harry. "Clear your mind." Thank God for the generously donated books in the Library!
I'm an expert in this already, in everything but practice. You can do this, Mason! Do it!
It was 8 in the evening, and I had already had dinner. Sister Mary had also gotten her rounds over with, so no one will be coming to my room for 9 more hours, after which they'll come to wake me up if I'm not already awake.
So, I sit on my bed, folding me legs, with my back straight, and the back of my wrists, on my knees. This position has a name, but I'll only remember it after getting an adequate mastery of my mind.
During this one month, other than reading books on Mind, I also had a few more visits from Sly and Ash, which is what I named the Fiery One. Admittedly, Fiery One was already an awesome name, but calling him that was getting tiring, and so I named him Ash.
Sly still didn't agree to live with me, which I was thankful about, after a lot of thinking. I'm not infallible, far from it. One single mistake, one glance of Sly, and I'll definitely be branded a Witch, and Sly will be killed. Snakes are a sign of the Devil, you know. Snake pets, even more so.
So, Sly is still staying at the Bush.
I found a few more things about Ash, during these days. Like the fact that he wasn't a natural snake. Yup, he was a crossbreed. Don't know which two snakes, as I don't remember much about the books, but one of them has to be a type of dragon, I think.
Ash can travel through any flames, and take anyone with him. Doesn't matter if the fire was created by him in the first place, which was what he did during his Flame Teleportation, or Flaming. One other thing he told me, was that no matter what type, Fire doesn't harm him. Not even magical flames do.
Conversely, he's a little bit more susceptible to Water, and hence cannot swim. At all.
Such knowledge, while impressive when coming from a snake, was still something I could dismiss, considering that I have the entire 7 books, and only 7, in my head somewhere, along with literally thousands of fanfictions. There's bound to be something there that can one up Ash.
Which is why, I was trying to meditate before this tangent. Back to work!
Inner- breathe in- peace- breathe out- repeat- do this until you succeed, or fall asleep.
I did this, for who knows how long. I had to restart, because my excitement wouldn't allow me to focus on clearing my mind. My thoughts, as are normal for a 5 year old, went everywhere.
At first it was as simple as going from Occlumency to I'll learn every book by heart. But then, it went from Occlumency, to 'I wonder if Luke Skywalker went through all this troubles' which make no sense!
Finally, after a few months of failure, just when I was going to quit trying, something happened. I felt something in my guts.
Okay, no. It was just a fart. Sorry guys, false alarm!
Anyway, I still did the same routine for months on end. Each night, for a few hours, before sleeping. And what do you know? My sleep became better! I woke up fresher than milk in the morning!
So, I kept on doing it. I did want to try and try using my magic, but decided otherwise. I remembered that accidental Magic happened because of intense emotions, and mostly during distress. I could mimic it, or force it during one of the bullying sessions, but would it be worth it?
If I got used to using my emotions to use Magic, will my magic get used to using emotions to use magic? That was the question 5 year old me asked himself.
I still met Sly though! So, good news! And he even brought some of the snakes to visit me, most of the time with Ash accompanying. They come once a month or so, to just chat, and Sly brings different snakes for me to talk to. But my favourite was still Sly, followed closely by Ash.
Ash's accent was Scottish, for some reason, and he talked like a drunk old person. I'm thinking it all depends on the owner. Anyway, while he didn't bring much news, he did tell me something. His breed, or one of them, apparently, was Ashwinder.
Ashwinder! I remember that snake, it had something to do with fire, which is not unexpected with all the burning look he has.
Fuck! Still can't remember the books.
Anyway, the Ashwinder said that the other breeds of snakes it knows are something called an Occamy, and magical breeds of Vipers, Boa constrictor, and even a King Cobra.
Bloody English.
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7 months after I began my meditation, I was still meditating, before I inevitably fall asleep, when something changed. No, seriously this time. Something's changed.
I was so focused on trying to bring a.. clarity, to my mind, that I did not even notice the clarity appearing.
My thoughts were suddenly much, much clearer than before. For me, or my representation in my mind, it looked like I was floating in an endless void, surrounded by my various thoughts.
But, where before these thoughts were all jumbled up, now I could distinguish individual thoughts.
It took two more weeks of constantly trying, to be adequate enough to "Clear my mind" which was what Snape was trying to tell Harry! Fucker simply skipped the introduction, table of contents, and the first 4 chapters.
Two weeks after attaining a clarity of mind, a single minded focus, I managed to focus on only one thought at a time. I followed that single train of thought religiously, until I fell asleep.
Three days after that, I managed to neglect even the final thought, I used to focus on, without bringing all the other thoughts crawling to the forefront.
And 5 days after that, I was finally there. I had attained Inner peace. Thank you, Master Oolong! Or is it Oogway? Well, one of them. The other is a disguising pig from Dragon Ball.
See? This is why I need Occlumency!
No noise could distract me now, if I was in the Zen. My mind was so clear, and focused, that I could read a book, and you could play jazz music, and I won't even bob my head. It was in a complete state of Zen.
It completely shocked Sister Agnes, when she came to wake me up in the morning, and found me sitting up on my bed, still sitting since last night, completely immersed in my thoughts. Not at all asleep, nor was I feeling even a bit sleepy.
I was simply, at Inner Peace.
After my daily tasks of school, cleaning, playing with the kids, and reading again, along with having food in between, I ran up to my bed, at precisely 8:00 PM, and read again, until Sister Mary made her rounds, after which I "went to sleep."
Once I was back in my daily position of back straight, folded legs, and wrists on my knees, palms up, I quickly went into the zen again, and this time, it was easy as fuck.
Zero thoughts.
No wandering mind.
No train to follow, or keep track of.
But this time, I had a motive. I was going to view Chinmay's life, from the end, to the start. If this was Harry Potter, and I'm now pretty sure it was, I needed to have as much of the Harry Potter knowledge as possible. Which is in Chinmay's memories.
It doesn't matter if it's simple things like what side Harry's scar was on, or what colour his eyes actually are, I needed everything.
So, once I attain the Zen, and manage to maintain it, I begin my next step. Calling forth memories.
Now, memories are tricky things. One memory is always connected to another, and another, and another.
Let's say, you want to remember the memory of your previous birthday, your mind immediately wanders to who were there with you. Then, what relationship you have with them? How close are you? What's the best thing they did to you? What's the worst? What's the most memorable moment you had with each of them? And many more thoughts invade your mind as you begin to view a single memory. Your own mind doesn't listen to you.
I got that from the Psychology books.
And the same thing happened to me, when I had first tried it. I said to myself, "Oh, Occlumency. How hard could it be? View all my memories, store them in a computer, with a digital, thumbprint, optical password like the fanfictions used to say, and imagine all manners of creatures to guard your mind against invasion!"
Bzzz. Wrong!
Your mind is not a computer, nor does it necessarily have enough imagination, or capability, to imagine a computer system, and give it different unlocking mechanisms. Sure, you could imagine creatures to defend your mind, but you need to focus on those creatures completely, or they will probably dissipate. Heck, even memories dissipate as soon as I lose focus, and they're already mine!
So, I had to attain Zen first. Once I had that down, I was ready for the next step. Which brings us to now.
I slowly imagined an empty shelf forming on my side, while my train of thoughts was empty. Yes, yes, I'm imagining a library. Ha, ha. I'm starting with the basics, just to sort the memories first.
Once the shelf was formed, and looked good enough to my inner eye, I pointed a hand at it, and willed it to stay. It took a while, but I could sort of feel it being fixed to the ground.
Then, with one eye on the empty shelf, and half focusing on keeping myself in the Zen, I called a memory forward. The memory of me having my first kiss. It tried to bring a lot other memories of me talking with the same girl, and then failing to woo her properly even after the kiss, but I push them back down. I only wanted the memory of the kiss.
Finally, after an indeterminate amount of time, the memory got free, and I could view it in front of me, like a wide screen holographic TV. Once the memory was viewed again, I slowly move the memory to the shelf. With as gentle movement as possible, I keep the memory on a compartment of the shelf.
And I am shocked!
First of all, the memory got turned into a page, which placed itself on the top of the shelf.
Secondly, I could remember it! Very clearly! Each and every second, and down to the last detail! I remember how her lips felt, how she tasted. I remember how hands felt on my chest. I even remember the softness of her wonderful.. Ahem. You're 6, Mason, control yourself.
Ahem, so I remember Everything about that incident! So at least I know I was going on the right track! This is one heck of a beginner's luck! Even if I get tired after a while of doing this.
And so, I kept doing this new routine, of adding new old memories to the shelf, while also focusing on keeping the shelf intact.
Every new old memory went to a new page, after playing itself, and stacked itself on a place depending on the timeline of those events. Older memories were at the bottom, while the newest were at the top.
Meaning, my Solid State Devices paper, which I failed thrice, was kept near the top, even if it was deemed unimportant by my brain. I was simply sorting them according to the timeline! My Magic, which I'm guessing was helping out, did not care for the embarrassment those memories give me.
Each night, I sorted close to a couple months of memories, for 3 hours a night. This went on for another year and a half, which is how long it took for me to sort all of my memories, both new, and old.
There were, obviously, separate shelves for Chinmay's and Mason's memories. Of course, I had to bring in the extra shelves I needed for Chinmay's 24 years worth of memories, as compared to a single half filled shelf of Mason's 7 year old memories.
And now, after sorting all my memories, it was finally time for the next step. Mind Palace.
The sorting, while can come under building a mind palace, there are some more steps I need to go through before I can safely begin building a mind palace according to what was described shortly in the Sherlock Holmes series.
If I had begun building it, before sorting and storing my memories in a temporary location, the shelves, I would have had to deal with trains if thought, that were a lot harder to get rid of.
Which is why I went my way. Well, actually it was the book's way. "How to build a Mind Palace for dummies by J Watson" helped me with the steps. As such, I spent in all about 2 years and a few months, of training the Mind Arts, until I could begin with Occlumency properly.
---1st of November, 1926---
It was a usual morning for me. I was just laying on the ground outside, pretending to read a book, while building a literal Mind Palace inside my head. I was under the same tree that I always was, which I had claimed as mine. Although my eyes were open, and moving on the page in front of me, my brain was busy imagining bricks, so I can build a home for my memories.
And it had to be done that way. I couldn't just imagine a house, and get it. M magic, to make sure it sticks in my brain, needs to do it step by step.
Which means, bricks, windows, doors, foundation, hidden entrances, I have to imagine it all one by one, and wait for the brain to acknowledge that "Yes, that's been recorded. Place it and move on."
I had just placed my 7th brick of my house, while consulting the Civil Engineering book in front of me for plans, when a ball hit me on the head.
Only this time, it was a cricket ball. A season ball. Have you ever been hit by a season ball on the head? Well, don't try it if you have. It fucking hurts.
As soon as it hit me, my concentration was gone, and the brick I was holding fell down, crumbling to dust, along with the 6 other bricks I was working on.
I was hurt yes, and crying in pain, but my head injury did not hurt as much as losing 2 days of hard worked bricks did. I got so Angry, at me, at the kids, and the situation, that something within me, lashed out.
It was the first time I felt Magic consciously, and used it, and it felt amazing even through all this pain! My anger, along with my Occlumency practice, made my magic react instinctively, and it threw the season ball at the one that hit me.
The ball hit the 14 year old Timmy in the guts, dropping him, and then moved on to John, who was laughing at me, and hit him in the guts too.
They all screamed, all 6 of them older than me, and ran, but no one believed them when they said I threw the ball at them with Magic. Of course no one would. Magic is preposterous. It's evil and it doesn't exist!
After nursing me back to health, Sister Agnes simply patted my head, and said, "They're bullies, Mason. You don't have to take out your anger at them. They won't learn if you fight them."
But I was not focused on the words she was saying. I was focused on the words she didn't say, but I still heard. They were, 'Boys. Playing always goes too far. Magic! Preposterous! There's no Demon's in this institution, and if there is, then it's definitely not poor Mason! Oh, poor boy…'
I could see her mouth move, and hear her words out loud. But I could also hear some other words, right from her head.
'Legilimency!' my mind supplies immediately, and I clamp down on mu giddiness, not wanting to pull something in my head wound.
Focusing on my Zen, I closed my mind off to any and all distraction, even my own, which somehow proved successful in stopping my mind from picking on her thoughts.
I shrugged at Sister Agnes, and went back to my room without replying to her statement. I was already a loner, what's one more mark on my lonely record.
Once back in my room, I opened my mind up again, to immediate noise.
Noise from the next door, "I'm going to beat Timmy up tomorrow. Because of him, I had to take spankings from Sister Emma."
The one next to it, "Oh, sweet Laura. I love you!"
The one across mine, "Yes, Ms Stockwell! I'll help you come out of the laundry machine."
The one above my room, and the one above that. I could suddenly hear noises from all directions, with a two room radius.
And suddenly it clicked. Legilimency. The reading of minds! I must be some kind of natural Legilimens, or something, if I can read thoughts without eye contact!
In the next few minutes, I learned how to turn my natural gift, on and off. Which was all I could do, as of yet.
I could listen to all the thoughts 25 yards around me in any direction, or I could listen to none. And it was only the surface, current thoughts that I could here. Not their deeper memories. I didn't even know where to start with that.
But this was just a start. I was just 7 years old, and not expected to even know how to listen to thoughts. At least, I could turn them off and on back again. Which was as good a start as I can get.
But ultimately, Timmy helped me a lot. He allowed me to feel how using Magic felt like, and he allowed me to speed up my Mind Arts training, as there's nothing more distracting than a hormonal young adult Sister, who wants to bang the Orphanage Owner's daughter.
I'll have to do something nice for him, later. I meant Timmy, by the way.
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A/N: Just a few chapters will be edited versions of my original book. After which, I'll write as the plot goes, and not consult the original fic. Much. Meaning I'll just take the character names, plot line, and a few key details from the original book.
Reviews are appreciated, and welcomed.
Cheers! Tata!
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