I spent last night getting my lizard cock worshiped by a pair of busty blue skinned babes. Possibly the greatest sentence ever put together, and definitely one that changed my life. I discovered something about myself that night. I would do literally anything to save Zaeed's life again.
The man is a panty dropping wizard. Even the quarian kid had a nice girl to 'embrace eternity' with. Poor kid had to leave his envirosuit on to keep from developing a possibly lethal infection, but that asari short range telepathy acid trip stuff works through clothes and armor. He'd never have to contemplate why asari genitals are so perfect at taking cock despite being an all female species, but at least he got an intense experience for his first sexual encounter.
The three of us left that hotel room brothers closer than any others.
When we got back to the kid's workshop we finished the rework of Garm's armor. Re-lined, re-wired, and repaired of the neglect left by the old sweaty bastard. The six thermoses he used for his liquor and snacks got converted into two power cells capable of powering a tank and a half each, a pair of shield generators bringing my total shield capacity to 1800, an auto doc to check my vitals and distribute medigel without my input, and an armor repair module based off geth tech.
I felt jipped, but each additional unit of shielding is exponentially harder to achieve than the last, and I would never have enough money to make a personal shield generator that would get me over 9000 . The faster recharge rate and reduced delay made up for my disappointment.
Between all the dead Eclipse and Blue Suns mercs we had a smorgasbord of the best omni-tools in the Terminus System for the kid to crack and add to my load out. I didn't need to wait for Shepard and the Cerberus scientists to scan and research the way Eclipse mercs reduce tech cool downs by using multi-tool swap set ups when I could just take the tools right off one of the gang's top brass. We loaded up Tech Armor, Fortification, Overload, Incinerate, Incendiary and Disruptor ammo, spec'ing for maximum defense and single target damage.
Tech cooldown and rank were a function of omni-tool quality and stable power supply. Unlike in the games anyone could throw out maxed out tech abilities if they had access, no elite levels of training needed. Money was the biggest factor in limiting the tech game, but anyone smart enough could get around that like we did. Of course, not everyone could mount two power cells to their shoulder and run around, but I am a super krogan for the win.
The quarian kid had a friend come over and paint my armor black and orange while I went to work on the shotgun I looted. I am pretty sure this girl is going to get killed by Morinth in the near future, but I kept my mouth shut.
Instead I gave my Claymore the Widow to Black Widow conversion, getting the shot capacity up from 1 to 3. It added more weight to the already heavy gun, but I didn't care. I also added a stock, bayonet, smart choke, and the recoil dampening system that allowed other species besides krogan to fire the damn thing without breaking an arm. Just because I could use the gun safely didn't mean I would enjoy the feeling of a fifteen hundred pound horse kicking me every time I pulled the trigger. I swear krogan use the ridiculous base model of the gun just to feel like tough guys.
I ended up with three huge health bars that regen independently of each other with a 90% damage reduction and an under three second cooldown time on the only two abilities needed to dick down on the entire galaxy. Throw in a shotgun now completely lethal to three people up to forty yards away and we have achieved Lord Death of Murder Mountain status. There was still lots of room for improvement, but the framework was now firmly in place.
Zaeed got called away before we finished to go help recruit Mordin in the plague zone, so he missed out on us finding a back alley 'shooting range' and putting everything through an hour of testing. As I looked on at the smoking ruins of what was once the smoking ruins of a functional back alley, and saw that my work was good.
"We have created true beauty, my friend." I said after the testing as I clasped hands manly style with the stranded quarian scrapper.
"I can't thank you enough for letting me help build your gear." the quarian said, "I've learned so much."
"I gotta move out." I told him, "Keelah se'lai, brother."
"Keelah se'lai, Grunt." he said, "I'll never forget you."
A few hours later Zaeed showed back up just after the pirates I hired finished delivering the freezer trailers full of stolen meat, milk and eggs I purchased from them. I had to shoot two of them for trying to steal from us. Only vorcha would believe they are out of sight of the discount byakugan field of vision that krogan possess.
"You certainly took over the cargo bay." He laughed while I put in the last bolt for my new grill.
"Have you had a taste of the ass they serve on plates here?" I chuckled.
"Not yet." He denied.
"Then, you'll be thanking me for the steak and eggs soon." I said as I stood up.
Even out of my armor I dwarfed the stocky mercenary, but you'd never think the size difference made Zaeed uncomfortable. The man was carved from granite and life only added more jagged edges to him.
Zaeed walked over to the table I'd left my shotgun on and hefted it up with a growl.
"You boosted the clip capacity." he nodded his head in approval, "I like the stock, whatever retard thought it was a good idea to make every shotgun in the galaxy pistol grip needs to be shot."
"Agreed." I barked back to him.
"You and the kid do good work." Zaeed said while he put the gun back down, "What was his name, again?"
"Why the fuck would I know?" I answered.
We looked each other in the eyes for a few seconds, then laughed our asses off.
Sheppard came down looking for me later and found me cranking out one handed pull ups on the work out station I welded together out of scrap. I felt like a douche for emulating Vega, but I was entering puberty and with the right diet and exercise I could pack on a couple of kilos a week of twisted steel for the next year. My setup would give Hannibal For King a stiffy if he hadn't died a century and a half ago, but could probably give chub to his ghost.
"Grunt, I appreciate you filling out all the paperwork for the 'additions' you've made to the Normandy, but I would like it more if you would do it before you made changes to my ship, not after you've added a gym, a workshop, a kitchen, and…" she checked the form I filed with Miranda, "a couple of fuck tons of food."
"Yeah, well, I handed that cook you got from Cerberus my dietary needs and Chef Dickhead told me to fuck off." I answered her while I continued pumping reps, "I am a very thoughtful krogan, so I secured my own food needs instead of ripping the bastard's spine out his ass. I figured this would be easier to forgive than that."
"I'll be speaking to Mess Sergeant Gardner about this, but you did a whole lot more than that, and have taken a quarter of the Cargo Bay without approval." Commander Shepard said with a frown on that perfect face of hers.
"I noticed a glaring lack of exercise facilities on this ship." I growled out as my arm from my wrist to my shoulder cried out in agony, "I fixed that oversight, and Jacob's little armory was little more than a showroom. Now I can add more gun on your gun while we are between missions."
"Don't you dare try to get rid of my workshop!" Garrus shouted from where he'd been hunched over calibrating weapons for the last hour.
The guy was a total gun nut and a wizard with a screwdriver. Even fresh out of life saving surgery he got to work on the ship and crew's weapon systems. It probably acted like meditation for the intense turian.
"Just take me out on the next mission." I assured the Commander while switching arms, "I'll show you that all this is worth it."
"Next op isn't combat oriented." Shepard shook her head, "Illusive Man has us picking up the next recruit from the Purgatory Space Station. All the legwork is already done."
"Hahaha." I laughed, "So we'll be blowing up a space station next. I really might be in love with you, Space Mamma."
Grunt's build is now known to us. I tried to make power cooldowns make sense, because the weapon weight power cooldown ratio in ME3 was okay for game balance, but complete nonsense.
Grunt will keep adding to his kit as he loots enemies and visits freindly worlds, but the core of his kit is locked in. He is a tank and a half and has overload and incinerate to deal with literally all the enemy types found in the games. Why ME3 chose to make overload work its magic against biotic barriers the world may never know, but Grunt has no issues exploiting the hell out it.