Chương 19: 19
1976, 10 January- Friday.
It was confusing to Polaris, seeing them walk past. It was infuriating to see them walk ahead of him, not bothering to look back to where they had left him, whispering in each other's ears. He didn't want to admit it because it was stupid, but he felt, he felt as though- he just felt angry and… sad? It was weird he was finally admitting it to himself. He was sad that his friends were leaving him out all of a sudden.
Sure he wanted space before, but now it didn't feel like that. Is that what they were doing, giving him the space he never told them he wanted? He didn't like that, perhaps he should have just communicated with them, but he didn't know what to communicate, seeing as he wasn't sure how he felt in the first place with Sirius leaving.
Yet, it felt like there was something there, with him leaving. Regulus, on the other hand, seemed perfectly fine, at least on the outside. Although he knew not to trust what to see outside, his brother was hurting because Sirius didn't just abandon him, but their other brother Regulus and everyone just expected him to be fine.
He couldn't afford to show weakness with him now in the spotlight, one he had never wanted.
Polaris had only noticed their behaviour a few days ago. Well, it seemed to have started on Wednesday. Their first class of that day, Corvus and Aaron, sat with Amelia… why on earth would they do that? It was strange and unexpected. He hadn't even noticed when they had left the Great Hall. Most Wednesday mornings, they walked to Herbology together, but that time they didn't. He was confused when he hadn't seen them seated but ignored it.
He entered the class expecting a saved seat by them, but instead, they were seated on a whole completely different row, one Corvus had one time mentioned he hated, because of the angle It provided, yet there they were, pretending as though it was normal. Nonetheless, he ignored it, too, opting to sit with Amelia's friends.
He couldn't help but glance back a few times, hearing them laugh. At some point, even Amelia had giggled. He shouldn't have cared, but he did- he felt left out, be left alone, like they had forgotten about it just as he felt Sirius would do too. Perhaps he already did.
Sirius never looked his way, just as Polaris tried not looking his way, staying clear when spotting him from afar, completely avoiding him. Just as he noticed Sirius did, he saw him. Sirius would turn, with his friends following him with confused gazes, but then they would look at him, and their looks of confusion turned to ones of understanding. What was it they understood? Do they agree with what Sirius did?
Perhaps what he did was for the best.
On Wednesday, the classes after Herbology were the same. They didn't make an effort to talk to him. He felt like he hadn't talked to them in ages and was starting to question their friendship, perhaps because he was, yes he was being dramatic. Still, he didn't care- they shouldn't be excluding him like that, and to think he had been planning to apologise for being distant, perhaps this was their way of getting back.
The only time they had spoken that day was when they were back in their dorm. It would be too hard for them to try not to talk to him with all of them sharing a dorm, yet they hardly spoke a word, talking to each other in hushed whispers… like they had some kind of secret.
He thought perhaps Thursday would be different, but it wasn't. Their first class was D.A.D.A. Usually, he would partner with either of them, deciding on a 'Stone, Cloak, Wand game, but they didn't that time because Corvus and Aaron had already decided to partner up.
He ended up partnering up with Elora, who gladly asked him to partner up, which he didn't mind. She wasn't terrible at duelling, that lesson, they were told to practice using the protego and disarming spell, testing their reaction time. It was boring, at least it was just boring with Elora. She wasn't much of a challenge. Thankfully, they got to swap partners every five minutes or so.
If he thought things couldn't get any stranger, he was wrong because during their free period at 3pm, Corvus and Aaron… they were sat at the Hufflepuff table. It wasn't just them, but Elora and Elias were also sitting with them, with their attention directed at Amelia and her friend Ella, the girl he had sat within Herbology.
That's when he knew they were certainly up to something, but what? What could they be possibly doing that needed all of them included?
Of course, Slytherins sitting at the Hufflepuff table did warrant a lot of attention, not expecting it, as people usually just sat at their own house table, like it was some type of unspoken rule. It seemed Nathaniel was as curious as Polaris as the boy had left his Gryffindor table and was standing behind Amelia.
He could feel Corvus' irritation from where he was sitting when Nathaniel walked up.
They spoke for minutes before Nathaniel joined them, sitting down.
He decided to just let it all be. All he had to do was wait because, sure enough, everything would be revealed.
Polaris stared at the note he had in his hand that Corvus as passed him as Corvus and Aaron had left their last class of the day. The message they had left him had instructed him to meet them at the courtyard in about thirty minutes. Which meant he would be finally getting answers. He was getting tired of it all.
He still needed to find Professor McGonagall to hand her his essay. She gave him a time as to where he could find her, and he was running slightly late, having had to talk with his muggle studies teacher. Professor Burbage had held him back to discuss his 'disinterest' in the subject.
He was at a loss when he was told to stay back. He was confused, he got the best grades, yet she was holding him back. He began to assume the reason for her to do so was to talk about the essay she was currently correcting as of the last lesson they had with her, but no.
She wanted to talk about his lack of participation and enthusiasm for the subject. Once she asked him why he wasn't interested in the subject, he let out a chuckle, thinking she was just having a joke, but when he saw her unimpressed look, he composed himself quickly so sprouted out rubbish to get out of the situation.
He shivered, thinking back to the conversation he had with that woman.
"Is everything alright, Mr Black? I'm growing more concerned with each lesson, seeing your disinterest. Do you dislike the muggle world" Professor Burbage asked with deep concern hoping he wouldn't be taking after his brother, Regulus. She had taught him in his first three years at Hogwarts when he had to take the lesson.
"Really, Professor? I look uninterested in your lessons?" he said in 'shock'.
"I assure you everything is alright; in all honesty, I think you have it all wrong. I might look uninterested, but within, I'm waiting for more to be told of your adventures in the muggle world, with each passing story, it only entices me of the muggle world. I will definitely be visiting the muggle once I'm older to witness it myself. I do apologise if it did come off that way." He rambled out with a 'worried' expression shown on his face.
"Oh my, I am so sorry, Mr Black! All this time, I thought you hated the class. Do you truly like my stories?! I always thought I was boring the class with them." She replied regretfully, having misunderstood the Black scion.
'…If you knew you were boring the class with them… why in Merlin's sake did you continue them!' he wanted to scream at her. He hated her stories. They were all similar in every way, talking about rainbows and sunshine. He felt like throwing up most of the time.
He stopped himself many times from rolling his eyes. He hated the class. He definitely wasn't planning on 'adventuring' into the muggle world for 'fun'. He could care less what a dentist was.
"You know what? Since my stories interest you, why don't you join the muggle study club! There aren't many people in it. I've been trying to expand the club for about 2 years now. You can be the fifth member," she spoke out in joyful gestures, her hands waving here and there.
"…Muggle study club?" he slowly responded in confusion. There was such a thing? As he let his mind get around it.
He had to force himself from bursting out laughing as she had been looking for members for 2 years… Yet, it only has 4 members… but was the fourth member just herself? Then realistically, there were three students in this so-called 'club'.
He hadn't stopped himself from laughing in so long. He felt tears begging to escape as he tried hard to suppress his laugh. He hunched his back down slightly, his body lightly shaking.
With a worried expression, Professor Burbage put her hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay, Mr Black?!"
He stood back up straight and let out a large sigh, wiping the tear that won the battle of escaping and nodded, "Sorry, Professor… I'm afraid my allergies are acting up as of now, and about joining the club? I'm not too sure if I have much free time to join, so I do apologise. I must decline your very enticing offer, and I must be off to my next class."
"Ahh, I suppose it's a shame you wouldn't be able to join, but yes, yes, you're meeting Professor McGonagall! Here wait, I'll write you a note to take along with you," she gushed out as she rushed to her desk, fumbling through her messy drawer to bring out a black pen.
'That was a close one…'
"Ah, wait!" she said, calling for him to come back. He turned back, hiding his irritation.
"It has come to my understanding purebloods such as yourself and a good few half-bloods haven't truly seen what the muggle world has to offer. What do you think of a day trip to the muggle world? I was thinking next school year, to have it as a thing seconds year will experience, perhaps your year will be the first!"
A day trip to the muggle world? To hell with it! Sure! A day off school is always great. "I think that's a brilliant idea, Professor, although I think you'll have a hard time convincing the Board of Governors," Polaris responded.
"Yes, I'm still about. I will propose the idea…" she pondered, "Thank you for your time. You can take your leave now." she continued as she began scribbling notes. That was how their conversation ended. He was rooting for her to be able to convince a board of old traditional purebloods to let their children/grandchild into a mundane and dangerous place. They're going to see it as pointless just as Polaris sees it, but he would rather be walking around the muggle world than sitting in classes all day.
As he headed through the cluttered hallway of students who had a free period, he bumped into someone. He had been holding his essay for Professor McGonagall, but the sheets fell to the floor with the collision. Perhaps he should have just kept it in his satchel.
Polaris didn't bother to take a glance at the person who had bumped into him but went straight for his sheets. Even if they had crumpled or had dirt, he'll just use magic to fix it. It wasn't a problem. What the problem was, was that people didn't watch they were going.
As he picked the first one, he noticed from the corner of his eye that someone else had picked up another of the sheets
"You dropped this", the boy that had bumped into him spoke out loudly as he scanned his eyes on the piece in interest.
The boy was sitting on his knees as he then picked up another sheet that was on the floor after dropping the one he had in his grip as Polaris stared dumbly at the person.
'What is he doing?'
The boy was dressed in his school robes, one of a Ravenclaw student. It was obvious he, too, was in his first year. The boy was familiar. Right, of course, he would be. They would have had classes together, like Transfiguration. The boy had blond wavy hair that reached his shoulders and glasses that sat on his nose. He hadn't remembered the boy wearing glasses. They looked odd on him.
As Polaris stretched his hand to take the sheet the boy was now looking at after picking the one he had dropped, the boy spoke again, staring at him with wide eyes. One could say they could swear they saw stars, "Did you all write this?!" the boy exclaimed, before grabbing another sheet of his, this time not from the floor but from his hand, one that the Ravenclaw had yet to look at.
"…Um, yes", Polaris answered awkwardly, wondering why the boy seemed so in… awe?
"This is brilliant, and I've only read the introduction- actually, I barely even finished the introduction. You're a Slytherin, aren't you," the boy spoke again.
Polaris slowly looked down to make sure he was wearing his Slytherin robe and saw that he indeed was and started to wonder why the boy asked an obvious question.
"Yes," came his bland reply, with a raised brow.
He went to reach for his essay once more, only for the boy to move his hand dramatically, "I'm a Ravenclaw", the boy said, stating once again the obvious, puffing his chest, seemingly proud of himself.
With Polaris's hand reaching out for his essay, the boy shook it instead of handing the sheet he had to him, "I'm Gilderoy Lockheart. We're in the same Transfiguration lessons." The boy announced proudly, but nonetheless, Polaris decided to indulge the boy and shook the hand that the boy had in his clasp.
"Polaris Black", Polaris replied.
"Do you mind if I could have a read of it?" Gilderoy asked, directing their attention back to his essay.
Polaris huffed in annoyance, "Yes, I do mind", he answered, finally taking his final sheet that completed his essay back into his hands. Could the boy be any ruder?
"Oh, well, I suppose that's fine. You're heading to Transfiguration now, aren't you? I'm heading to Muggle studies right now. It's like we're switching professors, you know? Well, since I just had a meeting with Professor McGonagall and now Professor Burbage- oh, look at the time, I'm going to be late, wait, you're going to be late as well. I guess we should both depart now. It was great meeting you. I could always need some new friends!" the boy again shook his free hand without warning with a grin.
Polaris didn't like the tone the boy had used. The boy made it seem like it would be an 'honour' for Polaris to be his friend.
With that done, the boy jumped up to his feet and raced away, leaving Polaris dumbfounded.
He glanced in the boy's direction. The hall was practically empty at that moment in time. He shook his head and hoped he wouldn't have to encounter the boy again.
Eventually, he got to his destination, handing in his essay to his professor and leisurely making his way to the courtyard where he was to meet his 'friends', and he did. They seemed nervous at first glance, but getting closer, Corvus just seemed excited while Aaron was keeping his emotions off his face. They went for a walk which ended up with Corvus covering his eyes with a blindfold. Before that even happened, Polaris argued with them for trying to make him wear one. Eventually, he gave in and just wore it.
Taking it off, he was greeted by shouts of 'Surprise!'
A surprise it was. He didn't expect that. He wasn't sure how to reply what to think, turning to Corvus and Aaron then back at the people who were standing in front of what seemed to be a blanket, set with a view of the Great lake. They did it all for him because… he was their friend.
"…Thank you." He said.
Corvus wrapped an arm around his shoulders, "This obviously means you have to return the favour." Corvus said to him, making him raise a brow, "Return the favour?" Polaris repeated unsurely.
"Yeah, so if either of us ever feel 'down', then you can help lift the down to an 'up'."
It was great. He hadn't had fun like this in a while. He felt better knowing he had people who cared.
Corvus and Aaron were there, of course. Polaris wasn't surprised that Nathaniel was there. Apparently, he was the one who proposed the idea of the 'goody bag' they gave him, which was nice of him. Ella Dowson was there, she was a nice girl and Amelia's best friend, who helped her organise it as well, at the request of Amelia. He had sat beside the girl in Herbology the other day.
Elias was there too, happy to have helped with the surprise, gloating that it was his idea to ask Amelia to help them, While Elora Parkinson, who was there also, gloated at how it was her idea to even get someone to help them.
It was a strange sight. Five Slytherins, including himself, two Hufflepuffs and one Gryffindor.
As the sky got darker, Amelia released some fireflies she had brought with her. In the night, fireflies danced as though orchestrated by every happy memory and dream.
"Why did you even help them?" he curiously asked, looking across the lake in front of them, both his hands pressed back into the soft blanket below them, holding him steady as he was sat in a tailor fashion. Amelia herself was looking in the same direction as Polaris, but at hearing that question, she turned.
He turned too, their eyes meeting.
"Well, we are friends, aren't we?" she drawled, an amused smile on her face.
Right, they were friends, weren't they,
"Yeah… we're friends." He told her, and she smiled brightly, turning away from him only to dig through the bag she had at her side, "Since we're friends, you can have this." She said just as she brought the small plastic bag out. They were sweets.
He took them off her, reading the packet name, 'Jolly-Blasts'. The packet was full of colour, with reds, blues and whites. "I think I've heard of them, Jolly-blasts. Where did you get them?" he asked, looking at her, "My dad sent them to me last week, well like the bags, I ate like three of them already, and there's thirty-five in them. They're addicting." She spoke.
"Oh? Addicting, so you thought it best to get me addicted too?" he questioned her as he looked above the label, 'American's Delight, Presents'. She shrugged her shoulders, "Why not! Here, look," she said as she took them off him and turned them to the back, which showed all the flavours, "There's strawberry, bubblegum, chocolate, and my personal favourite marshmallow." She took them out as she spoke. They were rounded in shape.
Flavours:
Bubblegum- bright blue, explodes into pieces of a gooey mess that you can chew, like gum. Flavour lasts up to an hour.
Strawberry- bright red, breaks apart and begins to sizzle in your mouth, a loud sound when you open your mouth.
Marshmallow- a translucent colour, expands in mouth.
Chocolate- light brown, melts in a delightful chocolatey river.
"Marshmellow is your favourite?" he asked, surprised. "What do you have against marshmallows?!" she said in surprise at the tone he had used, as if it were taboo to like marshmallows.
"Well, for starters," Polaris drawled, "They're a sticky, sweet mess. They taste like chemical sugar and dust, or like pure molten sticky sugar that burns your mouth."
That seemed to have started the first-ever argument between the two after she gasped hearing such words- the sugar was what made it so good!
It was a good day, one he wouldn't forget- it wasn't as though he could forget it with the pictures Amelia had taken of them, giving each of them a different photo that was taken. He certainly felt better after it all. There wasn't any reason for him to be in a sour mood.
The Jolly-Blasts were great. His favourites were, of course, the Strawberry and bubblegum. He gave the chocolate ones to Aaron and Corvus while he gave all the marshmallow flavours to Amelia, who tried so hard to have him try them, but he refused.
The strawberry flavour was very sweet, with a hint of sourness. As they started to sizzle, it gave a great blast of sweetness in his mouth.
Bubblegum is a distinct entity in and of itself. One by one, the flavour assaulted his tastebuds, leaving an aftertaste of pure ecstasy and sweetness beyond explanation. It was so intense that he couldn't compare it to anything else.
1975, 28 January- Tuesday.
The first lesson Polaris had today was, History of magic, and then after that, he had a free period. That free period had come to an end, and he had to rush back to his dorm to get his transfiguration book, which he had forgotten. It was ridiculous that he wasn't accustomed to knowing his timetable by heart. Well, he slightly did. Well, it was more so a feeling.
He could have Charms on Monday, then just know. Hm, since I've had Charms, then I have Transfiguration next. His legs just led the way for him, remembering the way from class to class. Sometimes he was wrong, mostly because he didn't use his timetable, only occasionally. He wasn't sure why he thought he had Astronomy before TRanbfiguration. Astronomy was after lunch, not before it.
Thankfully he had remembered in time to rush back to the dorm to get his book. Now heading towards his lesson, he saw his brother- brother? No. He saw, um, he saw- a certain Gryffindor. He wanted to walk in the opposite direction to avoid him, but he couldn't- he didn't want to be late for Transfiguration.
It seemed the certain Gryffindor seemed as conflicted as Polaris as he, too, was hesitating. He seemed to need to go in the direction Polaris was coming from, just as Polaris needed to go where Sirius was coming from. They had to cross paths.
Polaris stood there like an idiot, while Sirus actually just walked towards him. "Polaris…" the Gryffindor said. The way Sirius had said it made them seem like strangers. If he were Regulus, he would have nodded, then walked away, not responding verbally, content with how things were because it was what was supposed to be.
"Sirius." He responded lightly, "Heading to class?" Sirius asked, trying to start a conversation.
"I suppose… why did you come out of the hospital wing?" Polaris asked, glancing back at the door Sirius had come out of. Sirius looked back at the door, too, then looked back to his brother.
"Ahh, yeah, Remus was really sick last night, so I came to visit him today", Sirius replied, a bit too quickly.
…Remus Lupin. The irony of his name. The name 'Remus' was from the Roman mythology of two twin brothers.
Romulus and Remus were twin brothers. Their parents abandoned them as babies, and they were placed in a basket and thrown into the Tiber River. A female wolf discovered the twins after the basket ran aground. Before being discovered by a shepherd, the wolf fed the babies for a short time.
Lupine is derived from the Latin word lupus, which means 'wolf,' and the adjective lupinus, which means 'wolfish.'
Yesterday happened to be a full moon…
"Really sick?" Polaris narrowed his eyes, then slightly smirked, knowing all too well what the 'sickness' was.
"Yeah, sick. Why do you even care?" Sirius said defensively.
"You know, I've done a bit of research on werewolves and full moons, and might I add that it was a full moon last night as well." Polaris continued lifting his hand up, and he looked at his shortly cut nails as he stopped himself from smirking.
Sirius slightly tensed at the word 'werewolf'.
He then narrowed his eyes down at his youngest brother, trying to hide his nervousness, "…That's interesting, but I don't have time for your random facts if you're planning on continuing, but I've got to go to the library to study." Sirius rushed out, passing around his brother.
"He's a werewolf, is he not?" Polaris called out through the empty hallway, finally dropping his hand, curious of Sirius's reaction; Sirius stopped walking.
He slowly turned towards Polaris, his heart pounding. He didn't say anything but walked back towards his brother, his face not giving off anything. Polaris wasn't sure what he was expecting. He thought it would be funny.
Sirius sighed in frustration, "You can't go yelling that. Someone might hear- so what if he's a werewolf? He's one of my best mates, so don't go freely telling people about his furry problem."
"Why should I listen to you" Polaris called out. He couldn't stop the smile that showed on his face. Although he wasn't planning to tell anyone about the werewolf, as it seemed safe enough, the boy wouldn't be at Hogwarts without the headmaster knowing.
"Because I'm your older brother", he snapped back. Polaris stared and stared, his staring unnerving Sirius, "Did you say… brother? You've lost all right to play the 'big brother' role." Polaris drawled, simply unfazed. He didn't care anymore. He didn't need Sirius in his life.
Sirius sighed in frustration, "You'll always be my brother whether you like it or not." He snapped.
"-Look, just don't tell anyone, or you'll regret it if you do", he hissed down at his brother before walking away.
'Regret it if I do? Did he just threaten me for some half-breed? Well, that's lovely, isn't it…'
Perhaps it would have been more ideal to have done what Regulus would have done at the start of the conversation.
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