Chương 43: Nola finally realizes that holding in her feelings is as bad of an idea as holding in her pee.
"Hello, Nola," says the doctor. "How are you?"
"Why do I have to come here after school? I spent all summer coming here. Now you're just eating up my free time."
"I'm sorry, Nola, but I'm off in the weekends. But it's only once a week, it's not so bad."
"Still, I feel like everyone is forcing me to come here."
"Yeah, pretty much. It's not like you're going to come here by yourself. Besides that, are you ready to confess your feelings for Elon?"
"Maybe..."
"Maybe?"
"Doctor, do you know how I feel about him?"
"Yes. Are you ready to talk about it"
"No. I'm not... but it's not use hiding it, isn't it?"
"You were pretty bad at hiding it. Can you please just talk about it now?"
I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Since I'm not spending as much time with Elon, I've had nobody to hang out with, so I just hang out by myself. I've been thinking about my feelings for him more often now. I'm just fooling myself, aren't I? Just keeping up with this lie, that isn't that good to begin with.
"I... love Elon."
"Well, finally. Thank you, Nola."
"Okay, I'm going now."
"Going? We just started."
"But I told you already."
"Yeah, but that's only the first step. Now we can truly begin."
"What begin? That was it, isn't it?"
"Not at all. There's still much left to discuss."
"More? Uhh... I change my mind. I don't love him."
"Too late, you already told me."
"Well, I'm not telling Elon."
"You two are in this together, Nola. You have to tell him."
"MMMMMMMMMM, I don't want him to know!"
"Nola, you got to tell him. Your problem stems from your inner desires. They're trapped inside you. In order to truly be free from this, you got to confess."
"I hate you!"
"Who cares about me? You gotta tell Elon that you love him."
"I knew it. This was a bad idea. I'll never tell him. He will never know."
"If I tell him, he will."
"What? No. You're not allowed."
"For the betterment of both of you, he has to know how you truly feel so we can move on."
"Why is this happening to me?" I cover my face. I just want this to be over with.
"Calm down. I won't tell him for the time being, but you have to. You're getting close now. The fact that you confided in me means that you are starting to open up. Now please, at least tell me how you feel."
"You promise not to tell him?"
"I promise."
I don't trust her. I feel she's making fun of me. But... I don't know how to deal with this. I got no choice.
"I love Elon. I love him so much. I feel bad for him."
"I know, Nola."
"It's not like I want him to suffer, I just can't go, okay? So I make him come with me, but, but I give him permission to peep and to touch me. He doesn't do either, but I figured that after spending so much time, he would like me by now, but now, he doesn't. If I tell him I like him, he'll just reject me, and then he'll never go to the bathroom with me again."
"What do you want out of Elon, exactly?"
"I want to hold hands with him in the park."
"Uh-huh."
"I want to hug him and kiss him but not like friends."
"Yes, go on."
"I want to dance with him at the prom, and I want him to tell me nice sweet things. I want to tease him and he teases me."
"I see. So you really are-"
"I want to cuddle with him in bed."
"Oh, okay-"
"I want to rub my hands all over him, I want to squeeze his butt and have him chase me, trying to squeeze mine."
"Nola, I don't think-"
"I want him to strip my clothes off and jump in the shower with me, and rub his hands all over me as he lathers me with soap everywhere."
"Nola, that's-"
"I want him to toss me in bed and start kissing me in every inch of my body as when he reaches downwards, open my-"
"NOLA!"
"Huh?"
"Okay, I got all the information I needed. Now please take your hands off your crotch."
"mmmmmmm..."
After that embarrassing confession, the session continued on. I didn't like it. She kept asking me about my thoughts on Elon and I just wanted to die there.
It ended and I was on my way to the parking lot where Elon was waiting for me.
Wait, Elon is waiting for me? I run towards him.
"Elon, you're here."
"Yeah. I realized we haven't hanged out for a while. I figured I can walk you home after sessions, at least."
I go over to hug him, but he stops me. "I want a hug."
"You still can't touch me."
"I want touchy!"
"No touchy."
"Elon, I'm tired of this."
"I'm sorry. Doctor's orders. Come on, at least we can walk home."
Walk home? He didn't bring his car? It doesn't matter. That just means more time with him. And so we begin walking.
"Elon, do you like me?"
"Yeah."
"I mean, do you 'like' like me?"
"If it's what I think it means, then no, I don't like you like that."
"But why? We've spent so much time together."
"Yeah, but I see you like my sister. Even my mom calls you her daughter sometimes."
"Elon, I don't want to hurt you anymore."
"I know. Just keep trying and you'll eventually get there."
"I will."
"By the way, I'm tutoring someone now, so I may not have much time to spend with you."
"Who are you tutoring?"
"The captain of the basketball team."
"I don't know him."
"He's in the sports club and they don't hang around us. But this guy is doing bad in his classes and needs my help. But he owes me a favor, so I guess it's worth helping him."
We keep walking until we reach home. We go to our apartments.
I usually hug and kiss him before I go in but this time I just wave at him. He then grabs me by the hand, pulls me in, gives me a hug, and kisses my forehead.
"Don't be sad, Nola. Things will be alright. Just hang in there. I like seeing you happy." He pets me on the head and then goes inside.
Elon...
...
...
I love you....
...
...
...so much....
...
...
...
...
"Elon... I love you so much. Please be my boyfriend."
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