Chương 5: Chapter Four: I Can Drown.
My brain doesn't know how to react knowing this young woman in front of me recognizes who I am. The first thought that comes to mind is how quickly she came to me. Is it a coincidence that the first creature that I met might know me and the first person I came across knew exactly who I was and she was right there to save me? So many more questions are emerging that I don't know if I should speak first or wait for her to, but I have nothing to say about myself and she looks like she has so much she wants to talk about.
She locks her blue eyes on me, "Did you have Adelaide with you?"
I'm confused, "No, um. I- I don't think I did." I have never heard that name before and most definitely don't know her either.
She looks back at me, probably reflecting the same expression on my face, "Well she left us a week after you came up missing..."
Her words are short because a massive range of questions float around in my head that I can not hold back, "Who is she?" I attempt to smile but when it feels awkward I stop and look down shyly at my sopping wet cloths.
"Let's get out of the water. I'm sorry, I'm just so shocked to be seeing you after this much time. I thought you were dead, we all did." I can't help but give her a puzzled look back as she tries to embrace me in a hug. I step back, not meaning to but becoming quite afraid for no reason. She stops seeing how I have become uncomfortable with physical contact.
"You don't seem as thrilled to see me though."
"I am, you saved me." She just stares at me so I add, "I just don't think I know you."
"You don't recognize your own sister?"
I gasp, "I- no. I don't know anything about myself." My words are hushed but still echo through the cave.
I have a sister! I have a sister!
Her slight grin falls and she appears hurt by my reaction, "Elenor, you don't remember me?"
My eyes widen. Elenor. Elenor? Is that my name? For the first time in my so called new life I get this amazing feeling inside of me. I'm treated with my own name and this truly makes my day, even if it was awful at first. I have a family! I am loved. My heart leaps, I'm no longer alone! I take a breath as she says, "Um...okay. Then lets get you all cleaned up and we can talk."
She leaves the pool, gesturing for me to come with her and apprehensively I do so. I am entirely ecstatic that I have something to call myself and how I've found someone who claims to be my sister. But is this all too much right now? Is this even real? A tear escapes my eye, and I hear it land into the water as I walk up the huge steps.
We leave the room and go into the hallway I noticed earlier, but now that I'm closer I can tell it is still part of the cave, with boards on the sides to keep it sturdy. We walk into what looks like an old fashioned living room and a kitchen with a small dining table. Off to the left is another cave that must be a bedroom. On the opposite side of the room near the table is another opening but larger, showing off a small library.
Almost everything other than the furniture is covered with bright green vines and dark moss, it thrives like it gets everything it needs to live down here. The kitchen as well has a great assortment of plants and what I recognize as herbs. They hang off the walls, over the countertops and even in pots that are the same color as the grey stone of the cave itself.
The woman plasters a frown upon her face as she gestures for me to sit at the table. I listen and watch her closely when she reaches into a wooden cupboard and takes out some cups. At the sink, which is an old fashioned pump, she fills them with water for the two of us. She then gets a box of crackers, and then cheese from an ice box. She places it in front of me, "I'm going to get you some warmer cloths while yours are drying."
I slip off my shoes to air them out and hang my jacket on the backside of my chair. The water pools on the decorative stone floor and I stare at it, hoping it won't upset the woman who called herself my sister. My damp feet dangle from the chair I'm sitting in, they are cold and wrinkly.
When she calls for me I enter the bedroom and change into some cloths she laid out on the bed for me. Nothing extraordinary, just a comfortable shirt and some leggings. But they do feel much better than my old cloths that were too big on me. Looking down at myself I remember how small I really am. The leggings are too long at the bottom but they almost fit perfect.
Afterwards we hang our clothes above the fireplace in the living room and I eat my snacks and a sandwich she made for me. She sits across from me, taking in my presence like she doesn't remember the last time we were together. I can totally relate to that one.
I ask her, "What do you want me to call you?"
She sighs, "Oh right, I forgot you don't remember me. My name is Janalyn Box, but everybody calls me Jane."
"You are really my sister?"
"Yes," She announces proudly as I gaze at her.
"I'm sorry I don't remember you. I don't know anything about myself or my life before the men locked me inside."
"So Koda was right!" I flinch at the raise of her voice and blink down to the stone floor. It is covered in puddles, trailed all over the place where the two of us have walked. "We have a lot to discuss then, but first you must know about our family. This will be a lot to take in so I must make sure you can handle everything first."
"You have siblings..." I trail off when she gives me a stare. "I'm so sorry," I plead with only a whimper.
"Yes we do." The frown upon her face is noticeable but she does not get angry with me. Her patience gives me comfort and the thought that I should be able to trust her enough to talk to her freely.
"Who is Koda?" I murmur, this time scanning my eyes around to find that the lights are actual fire. That must be a pain to light every day, and how does she reach them?
"He is our younger brother."
Every word she says changes my mindset completely. I can not believe that my family is out there living and existing while I was locked away all alone. But did they know what happened to me? Jane doesn't seem to know where I was or why I was there. I refuse to be angry when I don't know the whole story, just like they don't know mine so I'm not going to say anything about it yet. And besides, speaking always gives me a disadvantage anyway. I most definitely don't want her to think I am crazy.
"We have a good sized family," Jane eventually says with a quiver in her voice. "And there are some people we can not talk about, so when we say nothing know it is our vow of silence that keeps the truth from escaping. It is to protect all of us."
I try to keep a straight face but feel my eyebrows furrowing anyway while she looks at me apologetically, "We have our Grammy and Papa who don't live too far from here. Our uncle, aunt, and cousins..." She pauses for a long while, biting her lower lip and squinting at her fingernails, "...I wouldn't say they live too far away. We see them all the time. They're going to be thrilled when we arrive!"
I'm not ready to be around people yet, but I can't refuse to go meet them with Jane. When she says nothing more I force myself to whisper, "I imagined that someone was always looking for me, but I did give up hope."
Jane's lips quiver, "We did, some are still looking. Koda left us a few months after you came up missing. I've only seen him a couple of times since then. And our sister Adelaide, she is the youngest. Was. She left after you and never came back." There's a waver in her voice, "She must be dead, I wouldn't doubt it. And for Koda, he was out looking for you. Last I knew he was on to something about this group of men who take higher class people. He is brilliant, but if he got taken by the same people who had you then he would crack under pressure."
I feel a ping in my heart. What ever happened to me changed everything for her. She lost me, and then our sister and our brother all within the same time.
"How old was our sister?"
"She just turned fourteen when she left." Jane leans over the table top, getting as close to me as possible, "You have no idea how long you've been gone have you?"
My shoulders fall and I shake my head no.
"It has been three years, well in the fall."
I sit up a little straighter now. It couldn't have been that long? I think I would've known how long I was stuck in that prison, every day was a nightmare. Then again everything seemed to blend into one and my memories of life beforehand are gone.
Again I have no words for her so she finally asks, "What happened to you?"
I take a long while to organize in my head what I want to say, making sure I keep out all of the crazy supernatural events that happened to me in the woods. I frown, "I escaped the men, and ran through the woods. I'm not sure if they knew I escaped, but they never followed me. It got dark out and then I woke up in a cave. It filled up with water and now I'm here."
"That's all you know."
I lie, "Yes. And that the men are the reason why I don't remember, I thought they did something to my head. The building is not far from here at all."
She tilts her head for a second, "Koda will freak when he knows where they are."
I wince feeling as if I was smacked in the head. Here it comes, my memory is horrendous and I forget almost everything I do. It all blends together into one massive and endless day. Now that I am thinking about that place, I can still feel the endless void it made me endure.
"Don't you have questions?" She gives me a look of suspicion.
I take a short look at her then move my eyes to the cup in front of me. It is night time, "How did you know I was coming?"
Jane takes a long look at me, making me wonder if she's trying to keep something from me, "Well, something told me."
She must be talking about the spirit, but how can I know? I shoot my shot anyway, "A spirit."
She leans back in her chair with the same expression of bewilderment on her face as before, "You know about her?"
I didn't realize it had a gender, "I met it in the woods."
"And she took you to me, just like she took me to you." I nod and she says, "So you do know about us?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"What really happened in the woods? If she came to you, you must have been desperate." She blurts, "I guess that is proof that you don't have memories of anything, because you would have already known where to go."
"Have I seen this spirit before then?"
She nods, "I am so sorry. You probably thought you were crazy, seeing her for the first time."
Now it is my turn to look at her strangely, "So what do I not know about this spirit?"
"You will have to wait for that answer. We are safe here so I think we should wait until morning to leave."
"Where?"
"Home, to see our family of course."
"And how do we get out of this place?"
"My home has one way in and the same way out. But you wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"Try me." Right away I cover my mouth, feeling as if my reply was rude considering these circumstances. I fiddle with my fingers, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be offensive..."
"No," The sweet sincerity in her voice makes me feel better. She sighs, "You came in through the ground to that cave, which is called the gate. No one can get down here unless I'm with them."
"Because you somehow can't drown." I realize aloud.
I await for an answer but Jane doesn't reply, "Why don't you get some rest and we can leave straight thing in the morning." She stands, "Come, you can sleep in my bed. I'll sleep on the couch."
I get to my feet for the first time in a long time and suddenly start feeling the pain in my body. It exists everywhere and I'm too tired to argue with her, knowing that she will not accept no for an answer. She takes me into her bedroom and tells me to stay as long as I like. When she leaves and I am laying under the warm covers my mind goes into oblivion.
Enduring all of this from one day is difficult but I still can't prevent myself from thinking about how strange it is that I found my sister. We are underground in some cave home and not too far from that place that I was held captive in. All this time we were so close and the both of us didn't know? My mind tries comprehending all of this. How does no one know what happened to me?
But I can't argue we are not related, her skin is covered in freckles just as mine and her voice could be easily mistaken for my own. Then there's that spirit. She knows a lot about it. My mind goes back to that white rabbit. He is the real mystery here because he knows me too, but does Jane know him?
****
When I awake Jane is preparing some breakfast for the two of us before we go off to meet our family. I sit at the table just as she is placing down the ancient looking plates. I eye the bacon on mine first, not recalling how it's going to taste but seeing how appealing it looks. I take a bite of it, enjoying the taste as Jane starts to speak, "How did you sleep?"
"I have never slept that well." I reply, not adding in the part where I had nightmares. Besides, there's nothing she can do about that. I always dream about awful things that the men could do to me. I wasn't ever physically tortured but still I dream that they do the most evil things to me.
After we eat Jane takes me into the fragile little library off the dining area. The room is dark but I am astonished to actually see how many books are displayed on the shelves, "These books are worth more than anything, so don't touch any of them. I have to find something special for you."
The room is simple with two chairs and a small table between them, but the books all around the room make up for it. When I inspect them closer I declare that they have been here for generations, maybe hidden for a reason. Their spines are faded and frayed in many places, very few are bright colors. I have the urge to run my hand along them and feel what it is like to hold printed knowledge in my own hands.
Jane walks around the room for a while before she stops at a shelf, running her fingers along the books. I expect her to hand the one she picked out for me but when she doesn't I can't help but peek at the cover. The first time I read it I don't believe my eyes and so I read it again, completely astonished, The Portal and its Secrets.
A portal? I want to tell myself that it has to be fiction but with how serious Jane holds it like it's the most precious information ever written I know it has to be real. But really, a portal? It is way more mysterious than everything else I have discovered within the last day or so. Thinking of such impossible things after breakfast makes me wonder what else could be out there besides a talking rabbit, a spirit in the woods, a strange underground home with a woman living inside who may or may not be a mermaid.
She takes me to the pool after I have gathered my belongings, which consist of a thin pile of old ratty cloths that I had worn who knows how long and a pair of shoes that have a rip in the sole. I put my soggy shoes on, letting my socks that I borrowed from Jane squish into them.
I step into the pool, hoping the memories of last night of me drowning will disappear but they don't and I'm afraid to go any further. I cringe at it's feeling, even though it is warmer than room temperature. My trust in Jane has gone and I realize that maybe I can drown. So suddenly I don't want to go back into this pool and never want to touch water ever again.
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