Chương 3: Chapter Two: All Is Lost, Especially Me.
Consciousness starts to come back to me as my body becomes aware of the chilly temperature of my room. The next thing I notice is the pain in the back of my head. I roll over onto my stomach in search for my small pillow only to find that I'm not in bed at all. The whole rest of my body is in excruciating pain and I realize that I am not in the building either.
I sit up, unable to open my eyelids because all of a sudden they're extremely heavy. At first I think I'm covered in a cold sweat until I feel tiny droplets of water landing upon my forehead. I completly forgot that I'm outside, I'm out in the rain! The feeling is strange, it's gentile even though it is so cold. I never would've imagined how refreshing a rain could be.
Finally my eyes open, revealing an unexpected pitch darkness that wants to swallow me whole. My fear skyrockets all the way to another planet as I sit up quickly with my head pointed to the sky. It's the only thing I can see at the moment, finding the moon halfway hidden behind a cloud and some stray stars popping out in places above.
The first thought that engulfs my mind is the incident I had with the white rabbit. The talking one. He told me to follow him back home! Believing he could lead me to safety completly slipped my thoughts before this very moment. I was immediately assuming he would seduce my mind or take me away to some horrible place. But I guess now I have some slight hope that the creature was being truthful. It's too late now, my miracle is gone and I'm out of my dream.
The only thing clear as day to me would be the picture of the rabbit in my mind. His fur looked like little wisps of soft fluff and his paws seemed like they had way more control that what a normal rabbit would have. He was larger than a small dog, definatly bigger than a French bulldog. I recall his eyes were a strange color, green or blue maybe but definitely very bright. I convince myself, a white rabbit can have colorful eyes. It's not as strange as the rest of the matter, unless everything was just a figment of my imagination. Rabbits can't talk, and this one certainly didn't know me or where I came from.
The more I try a reasoning with myself the more I'm confused. He could be here watching me right now, but I'm sure I'd hear him nearby. I don't dare move a muscle, hoping there aren't other kinds of strange animals lurking around these woods. Maybe I won't be so lucky with the next creature that I come across. There must be way more harmful animals out here than that talking rabbit.
I force myself to take a long breath, feeling the sharp night air go into my lungs. The smell of wet leaves comfort me, despite my fear of the dark and this forest. But the more I listen the more I become horrified, even though I like the sound of the chirping spring crickets that quickly resemble a pulse. A coo from far behind me rings through the dense trees. It has to be an owl, what else would it be?
Anything.
I cannot force the image of the rabbit out of my head. It haunts me to the core, not because of what he looks like or because he can talk. What gets me is that he spoke like he knew me. This thought makes me have the need to go searching for this rabbit. Unless he has been here the whole time I was asleep and can somehow be quiet enough that my ears don't pick up the sound of him.
The weather begins to worsen and the rain has no sympathy for a cold and lost lonely girl out in this deserted forest. I pull my legs up carefully so I can sit in a ball with my arms wrapped around myself. At an attempt to keep my body heat in this rain my brain forgets about the darkness. I stare at nothing in particular, unaware of what my surroundings are until the sound of rustling leaves startle me.
Instinctively my head moves towards the sound but I see nothing but black. At a moment like this one, I wish my eyes could see in the dark. But no, I am human with eyes exactly like everyone else's. So I sit here in the wet leaves and sticks, uncapable of doing anything until the sun rises in the morning.
Another sound causes my heart to pound like a drum. It was louder this time, a cracking of some sort. I'm hoping to who ever is out there that this is just a squirrel or chipmunk in a tree, even that owl from earlier I wouldn't mind. Something normal? A deer? Bears? Supernatural creatures that can talk, that have powers, and could kill a human. If I stayed where I am it would be too late for me by morning, I just know it.
I do believe that those men were right about these woods, they are correct about everything. I didn't believe them and now I'm stuck out here with no way to protect myself from something deadly. Though they spoke of dangers they never taught me any basic skills to ward off strange animals. Honestly, they didn't teach me much of anything.
I have nothing to call myself, though I've just assumed I'm nameless. Not too long ago tried thinking of a nice name for myself but never decided on anything I liked. Not having anyone's names archived someplace in my brain is no use when I want to find something to go by.
I overheard someone referring to me as, "The witch." Then the next day another man did the same. Seeing it only as an insult flew over my head at the time but now after finding what lives in these woods maybe the men were right. I don't really know what a witch is in the first place, so I'd rather not have someone call me one or compare me to one either. Now maybe this bit of information can help me find people like me, or maybe my family.
I don't believe I have a family, how could I if they didn't come to rescue me. A few weeks could've given police or someone time to find me, right? Unless no one was looking for me in the first place. It could be possible that those men are holding someone captive that I know from before I lost my memories. Maybe I was living right down the hall from somebody I knew my whole life and had no clue, still if I saw them I wouldn't know the difference because I've got no memories.
The blankness eats away at me every day, making me hope for a slight glimpse of the past that could aid me in my dull life. But I can not blame my own brain for the dementia, it was most likely caused by the men themselves. I've declared that theres only a few reasons why they stole my past from me. One is that I was an experiment, but the men do not seem sharp and are most definatly not the scientist type. They're more dirty and stupid, that's why I was able to escape so easily.
Two, they did not seem to care about me. So I could be their enemy. Being physically and verbally threatened by them has made me conclude they wouldn't care what happened to me as long as I didn't get out. Though they said they were trying to protect me, but not from each other; from what exists out in these woods.
A third thought I have is that I was captured in the first place for a very important reason. I had a place in the world, a future ahead of me that they didn't want me to be in. I must have seen or known something I wasn't supposed to, and they took me to make sure I didn't tell anyone or do something to change what they wanted. All of this could mean that they have something planned, or know something other people don't. I have a feeling that this forest is involved. If not then why would their base be right in the heart of the woods?
I begin to shiver, finding how the rain has become much colder than it was earlier. With larger droplets I can feel it's about to get heavy, giving me no preparation at all for a downpour. At this very moment a chill runs up my spine, not because I'm cold but cause something is here. The silence of the rain creeps me out, making me hear that all of the creatures have gone into hiding.
I beg for the universe to fast forward in time until the light of day has come and my life has appeared out of thin air. I wish for everything that I've ever wanted but in reality that will never happen. I'm just a nobody, searching for a life I most likely never experienced. This void inside of me gets darker the more I think about the people and moments that could have been in my life before I lost my memories. I want to know what it's like for someone to genuinely hug me, wipe my tears from my face, and push my matted hair out of my eyes.
But, I guess I'm not gonna get anywhere if I sit here and waste away in my own problems. My wishes won't come true if I keep sitting here trying to find out what I should do, I must keep going. I can no longer pretend someone's going to come to my rescue, because no one has and ever will. If someone loved me enough to save me from this awful nightmare called life they would've already found me. So with every bit of strength I have left in my stiff cold bones, I unwrap my arms from around my legs and get to my feet.
My old socks squish into the inside of my thin shoes, making me know I've been sitting in this rain way too long. I begin walking carefully, knowing that the slightest wrong step could send me flying to the ground. I get a little distance before I feel the ground curving, it must be a hill that I'm standing on. My feet below me slide in some mud causing a panicked yelp to escape from my lips. I freeze to catch myself, listening to my voice echoing through the wet open air.
When I take my next step I instantly regret trying to leave, hearing the sound of multiple animals starting to scurry across the leaves on the ground. The darkness prevents me from identifying what they are which makes me uneasy and my ears aren't much help either. I can't imagine these animals being something normal, after coming across that disturbing talking rabbit.
In the background noise I also hear a creature that is much larger than the other ones. At first I think it's a human by the sound of hard thumps on the ground until it suddenly stops. It can't be a human because if it was I'd know it. I've been around them enough to know what every single part of their body sounds like. A breath going into their lungs, the slight sticking sound when they blink, a pounding heartbeat, the disgusting sound a throat makes when they swallow, and worst of all the swishes of their bodily fluid when they walk.
This creature is larger than a squirrel but smaller than a human. My muscles tense at the image of that rabbit I've been pondering about ever since I first saw him. He is most definatly the type of thing I was warned so discreetly about by the men. But what is worse, being stuck inside that brick building or discovering that an animal knows something about me and can talk about it.
I try locking my fear away in a place that will never see the light but really it's no use. I take a breath and decide that if it is the rabbit I can't pass up the opportunity to talk to it again, "Can you hear me?" My voice cuts throughout the crisp night air begging for some kind of mercy.
I stay deathly still trying to listen for anything but the creatures movements cease to exist. The patter of rain against the ground drounds out any other sounds that could be nearby. My fingers reach the hem of my thin shirt, trying to unstick it from my stomach. A bit of water drips out of it as I grip it hard. I have to leave right now!
When I take a step forward my foot rams into a log and I fumble backward. Falling doesn't happen for long because next I find myself stuck sideways in something wet and prickly; the branch of a pine tree. I try pulling my body up so I can stand again but the branch beneath me cracks causing me to fall all the way to the ground. The thick branch follows and smacks me right on the forehead. I push it off of me causing little pine needles to rain down on me. Sitting up, I'm immediately all itchy because the needles are sticking to my skin. My head pounds and my spine feels like it is going to crack.
I have endured worse pain than this but the spot on my forehead stings and I refuse to lift my hand up to touch it. It could be bleeding but maybe it's just the rain dripping from my hair. My coordination feels off anyway and my head is spinning. I groan unintentionally, letting myself let go of what strength I have remaining. I forget where I am until my ears pick up on somebody snickering.
My peace comes to a halt and I strain my eyes searching for the source of the noise in the black of night. A rustling sound startles me into a more alert position and a familiar voice makes me jump, "I was always told you were clumsy."
My curiosity appears, thinning out my fear of the talking rabbit. "Told by who?"
"My uncle."
"He knows me?" I sputter becoming extremely dizzy.
"Not this you."
"So yes?" I question.
"As of right now you don't know him yet but you will eventually."
I'm even more confused, "Do you know me?"
"Of course I do." He laughs at me, "I apologize for being so secretive to you, the most important woman to Elyria. But I must not say anything more."
"Elyria?"
"I have already said too much."
He starts moving, and I hear him get quite a distance, "Wait!" I say with urgency. "Please, take me someplace safe."
"Just follow the spirit."
The sounds of his little feet hopping in the distance makes me know that he's not coming back for me. I stand staring off into the place he went, being unable to see anything at all. After a period of time I end up jumping at the sound of my stomach rumbling like thunder. I wince, thinking of going back to the building in search of food but the growling in my stomach is only a reminder of how they didn't feed me much at all.
My body longs for something to fill up my stomach just as much as I yearn for a family. My conscience begs to find peace and pure happiness, something I've never fealt before. It could be just my mind playing tricks on me but I feel a presence nearby, and this time I known it's not a walking, talking and breathing kind of creature. It's something of completly different nature.
Just follow the spirit.
The rabbit's voice echoes through my mind like a song I've heard plenty of times. Out of nowhere there's an intense pressure on me, like something is trying to convince me to move forward again. This is the same exact feeling I felt earlier today right after I had escaped. Though this time it is much stronger, making me know for sure I'm closer to my destination.
Even though it itches at me and my patience is dwindling by the second, I plop myself back down to the forest floor. I can't draw more attention to myself when I'm alone and exposed in this supernatural forest. Another reason why sitting is a good idea is because my body is as heavy as cinder blocks and I'm trembling for multiple different reasons. If I wanted to keep walking I physically couldn't.
I want to lay down and visualize the next goal I'm shooting for but what's the point? I must be patient and stay where I am until the sun comes up, it will be safe for me anyway. Drifting off to a nice slumber is out of the question, I'm way too preoccupied to even make an attempt.
As I shift to lean my back against the damp tree trunk I discovered was behind me, I decide to deliberately distract myself. My conciousness searches inside my brain for the faintest memories but I find nothing new. The image of my appearance does not exist either, making the possibilites endless of what I look like right now.
My eyes that stare off into the abyss of blackness suddenly become delighted seeing a sparkle of light. It does not shine down upon me like a star would, it's more like a flashlight floating above the horizon. It could possibly be the moon rising, but it looks too small to be it. I blink many times, wondering if it is just a figment of my imagination but only when I look up to the sky do I believe it can't be the moon after all. The moon looks awfully beautiful, but not as exciting as the whitish yellow shimmer of light far below it. My attention is quickly pulled to the newly found light as it bursts down like it's falling out of the sky.
Of course I continue to subconsciously persuade myself that my mind is playing tricks on me again. I can not believe my eyes. My brain keeps concluding that it is some sort of illusion and that it will evaporate into thin air any second. But if this is real and I'm in a forest where anything can happen, maybe this is an alien coming to snatch me from Earth. It comes so fast it's like a shooting star but I'm stuck in slow motion watching it.
It slows down many yards in front of me and doesn't look like a blob of light anymore. It's more of a cluster of lightning bugs, but I know it isn't what I expect it to be. It is way to early in the spring for them to be out yet. So with that, I know this is no sort of natural phenomenon. They flicker and float in mid air, drawing my eyes to them and nothing else. The way it moves it's like it can see and hear just like any normal living creature. It waves around the trees and through the lowest branches, travelling to me as if it wanted me.
Suddenly it clicks in my head, it's the spirit! The same one my not so little rabbit friend was talking about. He was right! And I'm supposed to follow that thing? I want to follow but in reality, it's too dark too even notice a finger right infrount of my eyes. But the closer it gets to me the more my body notices this new pressure washed upon me as if I have to follow it. It's way more than just a simple urge to go with it. It's like there's some sort of serenity that wants to engulf me into a magical, happy state if I go with it.
I stare for what seems like hours as the 'spirit' comes to me. I can admit, it makes me curious and I want to run up to it and touch it. Before my very own eyes the color of the spirit has transformed from its old yellow to a new purple that blinds me. It makes me wonder if the yellowish color was just a decoy to make people think it's just a star or a light.
Now the spirit is closer, I observe how humongous it is with it's sparkling orbs of purple light. It is so close that it is larger than the moon above, and it looks just as mysterious as before. In fact it is so close that I could reach out and touch it. Unthinkably my arm lifts up and I raise my left index finger so I can try to poke it. To my surprise it floats apart, out of the way of my hand. I can't even manage to grasp one of the little balls of light, it just disappears into my hand.
Something clicks inside my brain and I understand that this is what will lead me to where I'm meant to be. The moon has some sort of soul inside of it, a very peaceful one which gives me relief. I stand to hug the godly being but it moves right out of my reach causing me to notice how devilishly black the night is. It sprinkles down little purple glowing glitter onto me and suddenly my body starts moving in the direction that the spirit came from.
As I do so, tears begin streaming down my cheeks. The warmth of them are comforting on the flushed and cold skin of my face. When I cannot pull my eyes from the newest strange creature in my life my speculation on these woods increases. Maybe they aren't as evil as the men said so, they seems less harmless the more time I spend in here.
I let the crisp air fill onto my lungs which causes a sharp pain in my chest and shoulder. I ignore the feeling of it and instead pay attention to where I'm going and the spirit in front of me. It guides me to the unknown, at first I'm fearful until I note how it prevents me from tripping over anything, even my own feet. The force is careful and sympathetic enough to make sure everything goes right. Maybe this is the first step that will lead me to something worth while. Although this is marvelous I still have a sore ankle and a shoulder that may be out of place.
I walk for what seems like ten minutes, though the trees and up a small hill. The same place I recall looking at when I first discovered the spirit. I treck up until the ground flattens out and the trees have begun to clear out. My feet come to a halt as if the spirit itself was telling me we made it to our destination. I look around and see nothing different in the glow of the spirit but only until it goes to the ground below me and fades away to nothing.
I succumb to the darkness, feeling a cold chill to me once again. The rain has lessened but it's still enough to make my body cold. I intend to pick up my foot from the ground and continue walking but then when it doesn't move I start to panic. My legs can't move and I realize how my feet are beginning to go into the ground.
Out of no where I get a sinking in my stomach. I think I have been led right into a trap. My body begins to submerge into something, but it is not dirt or mud or anything of that sort. All I can identify against my now buried legs up to my knees is an almost numb feeling.
I can not believe that I let my curiosity get the best of me! Now I'm here stuck in the ground, allowing my body to get sucked into some unknown place. Maybe this will be the start of my new life, a transformation into somebody new. Once it gets up to my waist I breathe and breathe, hoping that its all just a scary dream. But when it gets to my neck I fully believe that this is going to kill me.
It doesn't hurt in any way, even as it gets up to my mouth and I can no longer open my lips. My last breath is a much larger one and I close my eyes begging what ever god that exists will protect me and spare my life. As seconds pass I suddenly have to take a breath and do so. But instead of being suffocated into the ground my lungs don't scream for another breath, I continue to breathe normally.
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