Chương 32: A Fish with a Dream!

Evaporate the lake?! Dumb goldfish?! That's how she is helping?! Will that threat even work?

This so-called lake is pretty big. What kind of power would it require to evaporate all of it? I've seen her shoot a small dummy and fail to destroy it.

X Doubt.

Yep, there is no way anyone would fall for such an obvious bluff….

"Don't do it! This siren is here!"

I was wrong. This one is a goldfish after all. Seems she didn't realize how ridiculous it sounded. She is now emerging from the water almost as fast as she left earlier.

She then stops a far distance away from me, eyeing me with wariness. Does she think I am a plague or something?

[Hey there o/]

"Don't talk to me human! Stay away! Careful guardian! This human is scary! He can steal your voice away if you are not careful!"

No, I do not steal voices …. I mute people. By mistake. Magic procedure gone wrong. I'm sure I'm not the first one it happens to! Guess I will simply shut up and let them talk.

"*Sigh* Relax little fish. Now tell me what you know concerning the issue at hand. Do you know any way to break something like that?"

"I have no idea guardian! This spell is a pernicious one for sure!"

"Oh, right the human did do it by mistake you know. He wasn't intentionally trying to cause any harm. He doesn't have any bad intention."

"That is exactly what scares me! Who knows what will happen if I even come near him! What if I lose my own voice too! That would be worse than death!"

This fish is a drama queen, isn't she? There is no way a spell I did so clumsily would be infallible. Seriously I'm starting to wonder why the ghost sent us here. Was it perhaps only so I could meet a new character? That would be ridiculous.

"Calm down little fish, here I will show you that there is nothing to fear."

The spider comes closer and hugs me.

"See, even if I am right next to him nothing is happening to me. Now come here and let's talk."

She warily swims forward. Her eyes are fixed on me. I get the feeling that if I move, she will swim away. Can I join the conversation now?

[Hello, a pleasure to meet you. The old ghost is the one that sent us. You don't have anything to fear the accident happened with a magic circle. It didn't just happen suddenly.]

"A-are you 100% positive?"

[Yes!]

"What about 200% positive?"

[…. That is not how percentage works. It cannot be above 100%.]

"What about 150% sure?"

[*Sigh* Sure, I am totally 150% sure that it will not happen again randomly. You can be at ease!"]

Amidst the soft giggling of the spider, the fish visibly calms down.

Let's keep the talk going.

[Why are you calling yourself a siren?]

Have you ever seen a goldfish posing proudly?

Well, it is happening in front of me.

It is weird!

So damn weird!

"I have a goal! Sirens are able to charm anyone with their voice! I will become so popular and loved by everyone in the forest one day! All will be captivated by my songs!"

[So let me get this straight, your goal is to become a siren, is that right?]

"Absolutely!"

[You do know that you are a fish, right?]

"Of course!"

[Then do you know how sirens are supposed to look like?]

"Evidently! Shiny beautiful scales are a must! That is why I brush mine daily!"

[Sure, but there is something else.]

"What is it?"

[Sirens often tempt men not only with their voice but also with their beauty.]

"Perfect! Everyone tells me that I am beautiful!"

[That…sure for a fish, but there is just one thing…]

"What thing?"

[Have you ever wondered why sirens tempt men and not women in most tales?]

"Ah, that one is easy! Because most sailors are men! Women tend to select their jobs more carefully and efficiently and usually avoid such a heavy labor-intensive yet low-paying job!"

Wow, just wow. This turned from a fairy tale to a socioeconomic analysis of the reasons behind the masculine predominance of sailors.

I have several questions. How did we get there? How does a fish know about that? How am I supposed to react? Ah well, whatever, I guess.

[There is actually another reason. Sirens have a special weapon to fascinate men especially.]

"What is it?! I will train until I can manage that too!"

I look at her with pity.

It is something that a fish cannot do no matter what.

[The thing is …]

"Tell me! Tell me!"

[Well…you lack boobs.]

"…"

"…."

As we stare at each other I can see her process that information.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA I've been a guardian for a long time already. I gotta say, human. It is my first time hearing something so candid! How were you able to say that with a straight face!"

Have you ever seen giant Arachne rolling on the ground from laughter? Well, it is happening in front of me. It is weird! So damn weird! Why am I getting a sense of Deja Vue?

"Human ….you mean to say that ….it's impossible for me to become a real siren?"

The goldfish is doing puppy eyes now. Or trying to at least.

[Exactly, but you can still learn how to sing!]

"NOOOOOO *SOB SOB* This is horrible!"

[Cheer up, you literally have no reason to become a siren. Not when you are a fish.]

"You are right I am nothing but a dumb fish! *SOB SOB! *"

[That's not what I said at all!]

I look at the spider to request assistance. She simply shrugs. How does one console a fish?! I feel like if I searched that on the net, I would get answers telling me to barbecue it. This way it won't feel sad ever again.

"That's it! This failed siren doesn't want to live anymore! *SOB SOB* Goodbye cruel world! I am drowning myself!"

What the hell is up with this dumb fish?!

How is submerging yourself in water supposed to do anything?!

Are you kidding me?!