Chương 27: 26
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Luke's POV
His gaze travels round the group, a smile showing in his eyes and on his lips, that is until he sets his eyes on me, that is when he looks at me all shocked for a few seconds but manages to pull himself together like the business man he is and then forces a smile in my direction. " Luke, son I am really glad you came. " he says drawing attention to me thereby causing people to turn to face me.
I see the confusion on Linda's face but I refuse to pay her any attention with all my focus on the man I call my father.
I only laugh bitterly under my breath but loud enough for other people to hear. " right I really am your son. We should really show everyone what a lovely family we are supporting each other right father? " I ask removing my hand from Veronica's hand to place in my pocket in order to avoid bloodying my own father.
" Luke! " my father says with warning in his eyes as he places his hand on my shoulder.
I glare at it in disgust and remove it like a disease I'm trying not to contact.
Then I glare into his eyes with hate so deep I start to wonder how I can even bring myself to be in his presence.
Mr Gail chooses that precise moment to join our little fun group and tries carrying on conversation like he doesn't notice the tension surrounding us. " ah Luke, did I fail to mention that I knew your father? But well a smart guy like you would have already figured that out by now " he says with amusement lacing his tone. " well you should say hi to the rest of your father's partners. "
His words make me glare at him for a second.
" at least they now know he has a son. " I say barely holding myself from causing a ruckus in this bogus party. " did he ask you to keep an eye on me? " I ask Mr Gail unable to hold myself back from asking the questions that have been plaguing me since he called out my father's name.
" of course. Though you did disappoint him at the beginning of your school year at least you've changed. " Mr Gail says not paying mind to the glare I am shooting him.
" how bloody convenient, right father? I must be the perfect son now or maybe not. " I say trying to control the urge to break something. " well fancy meeting the rest of you, but it would be best if I get going right about now. " with that said, I stomp off to find a secluded area to brood. Ignoring the look of pity and sadness, I am presently getting from my father's wife, as well as Linda who is calling me to come back.
I head out of the house and straight for the green house instead. On arrival I sit on one of the benches placed inside. I breathe in the clean air hoping to clear my head of the negative thoughts, anger, hurt and other feelings which seem to be hurled at me and for some reason this place seems to actually calm me down and helps me to breath better. Maybe it is because it reminds me of the green house back home in England where my mom and I used to grow plants and spend time together. God knows that I miss her and it kills me to know that I will never see her again. I close my eyes and rest my head against the wall where the bench is placed, letting the tears flow down cause God knows I'm tired of always keeping it in.
I feel soft hands on my face, wiping my tears away, I open my eyes not expecting to see Linda there or with tears shinning within her eyes. I hold her hands to my face when she tries to pull back and I realize that she's all I need to make everything better.
She pulls me into a hug and runs a hand through my hair, helping me relax. " it's okay to cry " she says softly. " it's okay to let it out when it hurts too much. I won't tell anyone, you can cry in front of me. " she says choking back a sob.
I can see her hurting for me and it feels different. I have never had anyone who understood how hurt I felt other than my mother and having someone to hurt for me kind of makes everything better.
" if you need to cry, if you need to talk, I'll be here just like you're always here for me, I won't let go. "
I realize that me crying in front of her doesn't make me feel weak but strong and that is what I need right now, to be strong and to trust again.
I pull out of her hug only to pull her close and place her head on my chest.
It comforts me to know she can hear my heart beat for her. Although she doesn't even know how much I'm dying to tell her of my feelings.
" I lost my mom a couple months back. " I start telling her.
I hear her gasp and attempt to stand up.
" stay, let me finish. " I say making her lean back.
" Before that I used to live with her, never seeing my dad, only on newspapers or on TV. The truth is I didn't mind, because I loved being with my mom, just the two of us in our own little world. We did everything together, shopping, vacation trips, meal time, movie time, gardening - well she did most of it, seeing as I didn't know much about plants. It's not like I didn't have friends or anything but it was more of the fact that she was my best friend and the whole not having a dad thing made it difficult to trust, especially when I didn't understand why he was never there in the first place. " I feel my suit getting wet and lift her chin to wipe her tears and place her head back. " suddenly we shopped less together, I'd go on vacation trips alone or with friends, hardly had meals or watched movies together, even the whole gardening together gradually reduced. I thought she wanted me to spend more time with my friends, so I wasn't that bothered when I heard from other people that she'd been seen at the hospital several times. I took them as rumors. Even when I asked her she would tell me she only went for her regular check up. She gradually reduced and when I confronted her she would say she was on a diet. I believed her and didn't know she was dying from cancer. It was already too late when I'd found out. We had just few weeks left and in that few weeks everything we used to do, we tried our best to do them. When I lost her, I lost myself. I became more broken than ever before. I Found it harder to trust and got myself into trouble thinking it would make me feel better, when that didn't help, I resulted to bullying which I can't exactly say I regret, seeing as I met you. " I smile remembering our childish antics. But I feel the smile drop as I get back to what we'd been talking about. " When I heard from my mom's lawyers that she wanted me to live with my dad, all the hate I had been directing at the world found a new target. The man whom called himself my father. It was then I found out that, I am an illegitimate child. He knew she was pregnant and still got married to Summer, what hurts most is that she loved him. He never came back, for either of us until she died. He tried sympathizing with me like he had the bloody right. I wish he'd just disappear off the face of the earth. I only have to stay until I'm eighteen but I'm going to make his life hell while I can. I will never accept him as my father "
She sits up and wipes the tears that are apparently still falling and then hugs me till I'm calm. " what was her name? " she asks softly, pulling away to look in my eyes.
" Lillian Charming, but she preferred being called Lilly. "
" I like her name. " she says smiling slightly.
" thank you. " I say looking into her eyes.
We sit there quietly, enjoying the peace of the night.
And I can't help but wish it can always be like this.
Us together.
It seems like a far away dream, one I can only hope for.
Author's note
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