Chương 24: Miku's Feelings - Taiei Mall II
"What do you think of me?" Miku asked while looking at Ryo. He looked at her and took a puff of his cig. He asked back. "What do you think of yourself?"
His question seemed to take Miku by surprise. What did she think of herself? She thought back on the times she was still a little girl.
"I... I used to be happy and energetic" where the words that left her mouth. "I loved acting as a child and even took a lot of classes until I graduated Middle School. I was popular, the good way of being popular. I liked having attention and I wanted people to like me. So I was nice to everyone. My dream was to be an actress and reach America's big screens. I wanted to be a famous star and walk in the red carpet, with interviews on TV shows and a big Beverly Hills house"
She stopped and looked at him. She doubted if she should or not say the following words, but she knew that if she didn't it would make it worse for herself and, even worse, him.
"I also wanted to find someone I loved and cared about me" she said with teary eyes as she looked at him. "I wanted to get together with him and do all sorts of crazy and fun things. Unluckily, the dream bubble popped when I entered Fujimi Academy"
She was already crying by the time she reached that point, remembering all the things that had happened.
"Shido began blackmailing me into posing for him to take pictures... and he spread rumours of me being a bitch who liked to get dicked on night clubs... *sniff* *sob*..." she took a moment to calm down, but she was still sobbing when she continued. "People looked at me like I was exactly that... a cheap whore who would fuck anyone she found attractive. The boys didn't see me as a girl but as something to get off... I only wanted someone to see me for who I was... to rescue me from that pain... I... I was thinking of commiting suicide *whine**whimper**sob*"
For the first time since she had began talking, Ryo showed a reaction. He opened his eyes wide and rushed to her, bringing her in for a hug. He allowed her to cry all her tears out on him.
"*whimper* A-At some point... I stopped caring about myself. Even my parents hated me for the way everyone talked about me. I had no one" she calmed down slowly as she went further. "Then... everything happened. The world went to shit. I was happy when I wasn't left alone with Shido and we entered the bus. I felt safer there. And then... you happened"
Miku was hugging him tightly, hanging from his neck and looking at his face.
"You confronted Shido like no one ever had... you humilliated him, beat him up, brutalized him... and left him to die. I was... so happy when that happened. I saw you and still see you as the reason I am alive, Ryo. If you hadn't done that, I would've taken my own life instead of staying with Shido. I... I promised to give my everything to you, Ryo"
As she said that, her hand tightened behind his neck.
"I made you the reason why I live. I live for you" she said with devotion and honesty. "When I thought about what I could do for you, I got desperate. I am not strong or good at fighting like Saeko is, neither am I as beautiful as Hiratsuka-sensei or Shizuka-san. All I had was my body, so I tried to use it. But you never reacted, and I grew more desperate. I tried killing zombies, and you looked surprised, so I thought I had done good... but when we arrived at the Estate and a day later I saw you with Yuriko-san... I lost hope"
She was looking down now, not daring to look him in the eye. She was embarrassed to even say that she doubted him, but she had to be honest. Lying to Ryo was not what a good girl would do, and Miku had promised herself to be his good girl.
"I... I thought you didn't need me anymore. That I was useless. I got happy when you said my name and called me to kill zombies with you, because that was the only thing I could do with you... but I was still afraid you wouldn't need me anymore" her words went straight through Ryo's heart. He knew she was troubled, but he didn't know it was to that extent. He felt like an insensitive idiot. "But when you called Shizuka your family... I realized that I was being stupid... you wouldn't abandon me, even if I am useless to you... so I called you here to say I was sorry... but then that stupid question came out of my mouth... I..."
Ryo didn't allow Miku to talk anymore than she already had. He just kissed her to seal her lips, answering her first question after she retold her entire story. Miku was a pitiful girl who deserved better, and Ryo would make sure she had everything she deserved and more. When they separated, Ryo had pretty much ravaged her mouth, a thread of salive connecting their parting lips. She answered his original question with hazy eyes and a shaky voice.
"I am nothing without you, Ryo... no, I want you to be my Master. I want you to own me" Miku's words made Ryo open his eyes wide. He knew that she had <Devotion> and <Loyalty>, but the skills didn't affect her will! Then that meant that was Miku's actual wish! Ryo needed to confirm such a thing. "Are you... sure about that? You want to call me "Master"?"
Miku just nodded quickly. She had found, at some point, that she wanted to be truly dominated by the man she loved. Shido was just a wuss who relied on his father and Tsunoda was a wuss that relied on Shido. They were both pieces of shit and played dirty. Miku hated them to the bone. She hated being treated like a piece of meat. She wanted a man that truly cared about her, but could dominate her. Miku was, secretly, a masochist.
"Yes~... as I said, I want you to own me. I am completely yours, Master~... if you were to lose interest in me I would just kill myself"
Ryo could only sigh at Miku's sudden shift in behaviour. She was clearly speaking the truth. Such an unstable girl was dangerous, because he truly cared for her. That meant that he had to show he how much he loved her. But not now. Back at the Estate he would for sure give her what she wanted. Ryo, who had just recently lost his virginity to Yuriko, knew how good sinning felt.
"Ok. We'll do it your way then, Miku" he said before forcefully grabbing her chin and giving her a soft peck in the lips. He changed his expression to a serious one and gave her an order. "I don't want to hear you talking badly about yourself ever again, you hear? If I hear it you will be punished"
"Yes, Master~" she said hotly when she heard his commanding tone, though still taking his words to heart. She was sure his punishment wasn't the kind she got wet imagining. She couldn't count the amount of times she had played with herself while imagining Ryo taking her and...
(A/N: You can hate me all you want, but I'm sure when you saw <Devotion> and <Loyalty> this was exactly what you imagined. Curse me in the comments, I'm sure you liked this scene and will like what it implies.)
*
Ryo and Miku were walking back to the main group. The girls, seeing this, quickly reacted. Hiratsuka got mad, since he once again had gone to someone else before her. Shizuka realized that she had lost the lead she had been holding on to. Saeko turned even more numb than she already was at the sight of him with yet another woman, but her eyes recovered a bit of light at the prospect of perhaps having a chance.
Ryo acknowledged all their movements and was glad to see Saeko recover a bit. That meant he had time to talk to her, though he wouldn't wait too much. He just needed a good opportunity. Then he looked at Matsushida and was about to speak to her, but one of the men in the place shouted suddenly.
"Something happened! This lady just fell to the floor!" a man screamed as Shizuka rushed over to check on the elderly lady. She was one of the two elders in the mall and, according to Shizuka, she wasn't doing any well. "Ryo, she needs a blood transfusion"
Nobody in the mall knew what to do, but Ryo just went and grabbed his weapon. Right after him was the guy that called for help when the lady fell. With him came Asami, Matsushima's subordinate, and Kouta. He told the girls to stay to protect the mall in case anything happened.
"There is a pharmacy nearby, right?" he said as he lit up a cigarette. "We'll go and bring back what is needed, BUT... if I decided it is not worth it, we'll come back. I can't risk people's lives for someone who had a foot on the other side"
Everyone understood the seriousness of the situation and, even if they thought Ryo's words were crueld -something Ryo himself though, they coudn't talk back. After all, he was right. A leader's decisions were always the hardest to make. Even Matsushima, who carried the baton in the mall, listened to Ryo. After all, she had seen him killing the undead like cutting butter and beating up the man that tried to get on Shizuka.
With everyone's worried looks, Ryo left the place.
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A shorty kinda chapter, but Oh well.
I'm happy with how I wrote Miku's full backstory and true feelings for Ryo. As I said before, if you don't like it, fight me in the comments.
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