Chương 21: In love

I was right about my feelings for Trevor. I didn't want to admit it at first and tried to denied it but it was inevitable. He owns my body, heart and soul. I'll admit that I was scared. I am still young... didn't have any experience before... and it was my first time at everything.

I know that my love cannot be reciprocate. It was unrequited. He love someone else. He really love her. I can easily tell.

His brother's engagement is coming, the nearer it gets the more he gets drunk every night. Trevor would fuck me merciless. I can feel his emotions. His frustration, his anger, his loneliness... All of it. Trevor doesn't talk that much, but I do feel.

I just let him be. If that is the only way I can help him ease his pain... then so be it. However, I could not stand it whenever he gets drunk. So one faithful night, as he was about to drink his first glass of the night I took it in his hands and drank it.

"Oh gosh," it hurts my throat. I can already feel it burning my stomach. Trevor raised his eyebrows at me. His eyes is questioning. Trevor sigh.

"Give me back my glass Fallon,"

"No," I said. Trevor sigh again and open one of the cupboards. I didn't think twice and grab his bottle. I hug it in me. He attempted to take it but I step back.

"What's going on?" He asks in monotone. I didn't want to answer his question though. My knees is shaking. That's how scared I am. So I did the stupidest thing. I started drinking the scotch. Oh gosh. Trevor's eyes almost bulge out out if their socket. "Hey! Hey! Hey!" I was easily caught by Trevor. "Fallon, what the hell is going on?" Trevor asks, his full attention on me.

"I... I..."

"Do you have any problem?" He asks again. The heat instantly spread on my body. I started feeling light headed.

"Oh no... I feel dizzy," I announce. "I-i feel dizzy... Trevoooor..." I called.

Trevor pulled me in his arms. I giggled.

"C'mon here..." He said. The alcohol consumed my body so easily. "Give me the bottle," he said.

"Nononononono..." I hug the bottle more tightly. "It's mineee. Why are your taking it away from me???" I started crying. "I don't wanna see you drinking anymore Trevor. Baby." He succeeded taking the bottle away from me. He lift his right hand up that was holding the bottle. He was so tall. I started jumping. "Don't drink anymore Trevor... I'll drink it for you!" I said jumping to reach his hand.

"You'll drink it for me?" He asks, finding it amusing. I nodded aggressively.

"Hmm yesss..." I giggled.

"But I don't wanna see you get drunk as well," he said slightly baby talking me.

"Really?" I ask in a childish way. He nodded. "You care for me?" I ask again feeling touched.

"Ofcourse angel..." He whispered seductively. I look at the bottle on his right lifted hand.

"Do you promise not to get drunk anymore?" I ask worrily.

Trevor scoff then nodded sarcastically to which I pouted disappointingly. I started flouncing and started making noise that I'd never would make had I been sober.

I heard him chuckle to my childishness. It was cute and sexy at the same time. I couldn't help but press his cheek. I pulled his head down before giving him a kiss. "Cuteee," I giggled and started kissing him sloppily. I giggled again when I heard him hissed. I bit his lip. "Let's kiss more cutie," I suggested.

"Let's get you to bed..." He said. I didn't know what happened or how we get on the bed. I must have been so dizzy to remember. "Stop squirming baby..." Trevor sigh. "Go to sleep," he pulled the blanket up but I just kick it.

"No. No.. I don't wanna go to bed yet baby.." I said swatting his hands away. I crawled on top of him nd started giggling again. Trevor sat down and was still trying to keep me in my place. "Where are we going?" I ask.

"Nowhere." He replied. "I need you to go to bed. Ok?" He said petting my head. I shook my head.

"Can't I come?" I ask. "You are just going to the kitchen to get drunk. No!" I predict.

"What? Of course not. I'm going to get you a water,"

"Tss. Liar!" I scrunch my nose.

"Why would I get drunk?" He ask as if confused. I started hiccuping.

"Because of her!" I bitterly said. Trevor's face look confused. I hug him tightly. "You don't have to pretend to be ok Trevor. I know you're hurt. Just cry. I'll cry with you! Let it all out! Let it goooo!" I caress his back aggressively.

"What the heck are you talking about?!"

I understand how he feel. Ofcoursenhe would deny it. It's the first time we ever talk about himself. It's always us having sex... but now. I wanted to comfort him. "You're always drinking because of her right?" I ask even though I know the answer. At first, I really thought he was going to deny it. But Trevor didn't say anything. My heart aches more. I cup his cheeks and look into his sad eyes. "Do you miss her?" I ask sincerely. He was silent for a minute. And for the first time, his head low and he nodded.

It was a sad sight. Especially from the one you love. I hate seeing him like this. I embrace him again.

"It must've tough..." I said. Trevor's hand snake around my body. I hug him even tighter. "Do you wanna talk about it?" I ask. "I'll listen,"

I knew it was impossible for him to open up to someone like me. Aside from being his nothing but a cum dumpster, he was also a tough man. So I was a bit shock when he started talking.

"It feels like everything around me keeps falling apart..." Trevor laid down on the bed. His arms covering his eyes. I laid down beside him quitely. I saw him gulp. Although I am still light headed, I still feel for him. I placed my hands on his chest.

He lift up his hands on his eyes and he caught my eye. I almost burn at his stare. He took my breath away. Oh gosh. How can I still fall in love all over again? His lips parted as he look at me. He blink once, twice... before he looked away and smiled bitterly.

"He always take what's mine. I feel like a fucking child who's toy was taken away. It's so petty. There are bigger problems in this world but why do I feel so lost without her?"

My heart's in pain. So this is what it feels like getting your heartbroken.

"We've been together for 7 fucking years... and she just threw that away... for one fucking mistake... one fucking mistake Fallon. This is so fucking pathetic. Fuck!" He shut his eyes. "And then he ran away with my brother. Am I that easily replaceable? Everything I work so hard, even the company... It was just given to him without any sweat. It's fucking ridiculous. Even how many degrees I achieve, how many companies I surpass... It was still nothing. I still don't have a say to anything... Pathetic right?" He ask smiling without any sense of humor. "I even paid you to bed you," he sigh and look at me sadly.

"T-that's not true!" I denied. Trevor laugh humorlessly.

"Yeah right," he said sarcastically. "You don't have to lie to my face when I know the truth Fallon. I paid you to bed you."

I shook my head. "Your maybe right Trevor. At first yes. I badly need the money for my father's hospital bills and I was desperate. I dream of having enough money for my family and for myself. But..." I lowered my gaze. "It felt... wrong to take money from you."

"What do you mean?"" His voice change. His full attention on mine.

"At first, I thought I just felt indebted towards you. But it's more than that Trevor... I can't stop thinking about you. I feel excited whenever I see you. I feel sad whenever you feel sad. I get happy whenever I'm with you. I dream about us being a couple. Have little children and get married. What do you expect? You lead me on! You're sweet. You're charming. You make me feel good. You make me feel beautiful and the little things you do to me. I cannot help it Trevor. As much as I want to hide my feelings for you it's overflowing and it wanted to be known. I am in love with you!" The alcohol must've given me the courage to say that straightly. My heart is pounding so fast in my chest!

"You're drunk..." Trevor concluded.

I shook my head. "I didn't take your money Trevor. I put it in one of your empty drawers. I found a job in the department store so that I can pay for my rent and for my school. So basically, I am just someone who comes here not to do business Trevor but to see you. Because I am inlove with you." I said straight in his eyes. He look shock.

"Where's that drawer you're talking about?" He ask. I pointed to where the drawer was. Trevor stood up and went to the drawer. He opened it.

I sat up. "I was going to tell you soon but I didn't have a courage to do so." I told him. "I wanna stop this agreement and love you purely Trevor. That's what I wanted to ask."

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