Chương 26: Chapter 26

I fell asleep on the couch last night, clutching a pillow to my chest and I wake up with my cheeks sticky with dried tears. But then I realize I'm not actually on the couch anymore. I'm sleeping in our bed, tucked in carefully. He must've carried me to the bed after he got back home. I turn, but the other side of the bed is empty and by the way, it feels so cold, probably not even slept in. It makes my eyes water again.

Dammit, I can't cry all the time. We are still fine. Nothing changed.

I always knew there was a certain risk with him. If only a few moments is all I get with him, then I'll seize them and cherish the hell out of them, and then pick up my broken heart and move on. I know there will be a guy out there someday that will love me enough to try to put the world at my feet. But for now, let me live a little longer in the illusion of our life together. Because it's perfect. And it's exactly how I would want to spend the rest of my life. Even if it's only me that feels this way.

I get up and after refreshing in the bathroom so I look slightly more presentable, I trudge my way to the kitchen. Everything is completely still in the apartment, sickly quiet. I hate this feeling, I never liked being completely alone for a long time.

I realize it's already 11 o'clock so I must've slept longer than I thought. But it's Sunday, so I get to sleep in. But where is Jake? Usually, we are together on Sundays as it's the only day of the week that we are both free.

As I walk around the apartment, I realize that he is really not home. I can't decide if I'm pissed off or just sad and tired of fighting. Can we have just a couple of weeks without something drifting us apart all the time?

I find my phone and immediately dial his phone number. It rings and rings, but he doesn't pick up. I shoot him a quick message to ask him where he is, but after half an hour I still get no response. I'm getting nervous and I have a bad feeling about the whole thing. Where could he possibly go?

I sent a text to Becca and ask her if he is with Brian, but she replies that they are out for brunch and Jake isn't with them.

Great. There is only one other place I can think of finding him and for some reason, I really hope he is not there. At his club, The X. Where all our fights seem to happen. After a few moment's hesitations, I decided to just drive there and check for myself.

I park in front of the place 15 minutes later and everything is quiet in the neighborhood. It's normal since the club isn't open at these hours. I go the back entrance that I know leads to his office and to my surprise, the doors are open. I guess this means he really is here.

I push the door open and let myself in. I start walking in the direction of his office and soon I start hearing voices, filling the utter silence of the whole place. A woman's voice. I can't make out what she's saying, but the voice that replies to her is definitely Jake's.

I stop in my tracks, few steps away from the doors and there is something heavy settling in my chest. I'm utterly afraid of what I'll find behind those doors.

I hear a weird sound and then Jake's words, "What are you doing?" penetrate through the closed doors. And I can't hold myself back anymore. I take the remaining few steps and then place my hand shakily on the doorknob. Even though my heart is beating so fast it will jump out of my chest, I need to see what's happening in there, so I forcefully open the door before stopping dead in my tracks.

There is Jake sitting in his chair and a blond woman is kneeling in front of his lap. A shirtless woman, only in a bra. Her hands are on Jake's pants, pulling down the zipper. Oh, my God.

Jake looks up at my loud entrance and his eyes widen when he spots me, freezing in shock. The skank in front of him turns around to see who barged in, and it's then I realize it's not just a blond woman. It's the blond woman. Serena.

Oh god, please say I'm not seeing this. Please say I'm imagining things. He wouldn't do this to me. Would he? He loves me. I know he does. Oh my god.

Almost in an instant, I feel hot heavy tears falling down my cheeks and this makes Jake snap out of his haze, pushing Serena away which makes her stumble and fall flat on the floor. I would enjoy seeing this if the situation would be different.

"Jessica, wh-what are you doing here?"

I snap my eyes to his and see how he just managed to zip his pants back. And then the fury washes away the tears and dulls the sadness. Pure and raw fury.

"You goddamn prick. What do you mean what I'm doing here??!" I start stepping towards him, completely ignoring the bitch who is still sitting on the floor in shock.

"What the hell is wrong with you? We have a fight and you come here to have this goddamn slut give you a blowjob? And then what? You plan on fucking her over your desk the same as you did with me?"

My voice breaks at the end, and the scenario I just threw at him penetrates my fury momentarily, making more tears stream down my cheeks.

He grabs my shoulders and frantically starts explaining.

"No, no, no. This is not what was happening. She just came in, I didn't invite her and then, then... started taking her clothes off and I was just about to push her away when you stepped in the office."

"Get your hands away from me! Really? This is what I'm supposed to believe? She just accidentally fell in front of your crotch and then forcefully started opening your pants? Do I really look that naïve?"

He is trying to pull me back to him, but I pull away further telling him not to get closer to me. He becomes frantic, his hand pulling at his hair like he always does when he is stressed and I can see regret swimming in his eyes. Well, a little too late.

"No, Jess, baby, I swear it wasn't like that. I wouldn't do that to you. You know I-"

"Don't you dare say you love me!" I yell back and then slowly start walking backward toward the doors and then finally turning around prepared to flee. He wants to come after me, but once again I tell him not to dare coming closer.

I look back one final time and I see Jake collapsing on the chair, his head in his hands, silently cursing. I look at Serena that is now closing the buttons on her blouse with a smirk playing on her face. Exactly what she wanted I guess.

"You really are perfect for each other. I hope you have a great time."

"You know that's not fucking true. You are the one I want."

But I don't let him continue. I'm halfway out the door by the time he finishes the sentence. I walk hurriedly to my car, but can't help and pause there for a while, taking deep breaths, calming myself down and deep deep down hoping I got this all wrong somehow, and he'll follow me out, demanding I listen to him. It doesn't happen, however.

After a few minutes, I sit in my car and drive away, fully knowing that my life with him just shattered to pieces.

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