Chương 28: Jessica
He walks away down the street as I try to replay the events in my mind. He raped her, all because I left her. Now, he wants my help in getting back into that community so that he can try to kill her and her father.
I'm such a coward. I can't even explain to you why I left, because I really don't know. Part of me knew that pulling her away from that community that was helping her so much was just my attempt at trying to make her into myself.
And sure, I like her too. She's nice, a bit awkward, but I can tell that she means well. I thought if I left her, when she woke up she would come back to the community. I was going to stick around and wait to make sure she made it back okay, but then her father ran into me and I had to explain.
Now I'm back to the community I was with in the first place, and I regret coming back. Chris thinks that I still have something for him, which I don't.
Then, to make matters worse, I come to find out that the girl I betrayed got hurt by a man seeking refuge right within these walls. I hang my head in shame as I walk back towards Chris's house.
I walk in the door and shut it, then I close my eyes and lay back against it and breathe loudly. "So, what was that about?" Chris asks, and I nearly jump out of my skin. I look over and he's standing at the top of the stairs, and slowly starts making his way down.
"Oh, nothing," I lie. "He just wanted to introduce himself because he thought he had seen me before but apparently he had me mistaken." Chris smiles at me and walks over to me, putting his hands on my hips. I try not to revolt at the feeling.
"Good, I just wanted to make sure that he wasn't trying to flirt with you or anything. I mean, you are my girl." He lets go of my hips and walks into the kitchen, trying to tell me a story about how his raid on the community went well. I act as interested as possible without listening to him so he thinks I'm on his side.
To be honest, I don't know why I'm even over here when that other community only gave me true and honest help. All I ever got here was anger and fight.
Chris finishes telling me about the raid and says, "Well, do you want to go to bed? It's getting kind of late." I break out of my trance and smile at him. "Sure," I reply. He winks at me and says, "Wow, eager huh?"
I smile and nod, but I know that's the last thing I want right now. I only know that I need to do it in order to make him happy. He's letting me back in, he's giving me a place to stay, and he's going to try to protect me at any cost.
He heads up the stairs and into the bedroom. I follow shortly thereafter, and when I open the door he already has his clothes completely off and is standing there, looking at me.
"Well," he states, "I've definitely missed this." He walks over to me and puts his hands on my neck, kissing my nape and saying little lies about how he loves me, how he missed me, how he wanted this so badly.
We get on the bed together and he's taken my clothes off before I've even realized what's happening. He puts his hands around my throat and begins to choke me when he starts, and I close my eyes to try and focus on something else until he's done.
I close my eyes and Steven's face is staring down at me.
I open my eyes again to see Chris looking at me with intense fuel, and I remind myself that I'm in his house, safe and sound. I close my eyes again and his hands slightly tighten around my throat.
Steven stares down at me, his warm breath in my face as he smiles and chokes me until I can barely breathe. I try to scream for help, but I can't.
I open my eyes again and Chris looks at me, slowing down. "Why are you crying?" he asks me with concern. I touch up to my eyes and wipe the tears off of my face that I didn't even know were present. He gets off of me, and I roll over onto my side, wrapping my arms around myself.
"I'm fine," I lie again, something him and I are both experts at. He shrugs and rolls onto his side to lay down for sleep. That asshole still wonders why I left him?
He turns the light off and I close my eyes to try and shut out the nightmares of reality.
☠
I toss and turn all night. I can't stop thinking about the horrible things that Steven did. I can't stop thinking about the horrible things that I did. I roll over and look at Chris, who's fast asleep. I push myself off the bed and walk over to the dresser.
I get dressed fairly quickly, and then I grab my switchblade from out of my bag and head downstairs. I walk out the door quietly into the evening, walking by the light of the moon.
I reach the infirmary in about 10 minutes, and there's no lights on which is a good sign. Nobody staying behind to check up on anyone. I pick the front door lock and head up the stairs to the beds.
I scan the dark, empty room and find the burly man sleeping on the surely uncomfortable mattress. I make my way over to him and stare down at him for a long time, contemplating if I should do it or not. Finally, I put the cold metal of my unopened switchblade to his throat.
I push the button and the blade shoots into his neck, and his eyes shoot wide open. He stares at me with anger in his eyes as he tries to speak but can't.
At one point, he stops struggling. It's over.
I unlock the wheels on the bed and cover his body with the thin, blue blanket. Good fucking riddance. I head towards the foot of the bed and pull it out, pushing it towards the staircase.
I look up just as Chris clears the last stair, looking at me with bewilderment in his eyes.
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