Chương 14: [XIV] - Rushing Tears
When I came back to my senses after a second, I could see my whole hand covered in scarlet blood, soaking down my dark brown sleeve. The pain was pulsing incredibly though my whole arm, as if it was slowly melting, like a candle. And the little metal device, with the footage I was holding so dear, it wasn't in my hand anymore. My precious evidence! It… No…
I can't lose is so easily like that! After all I've been through!!! Why?! Why are those things happening to me?! Why can't I just fucking arrive at the place in time?! Everything would be over by now! Nothing would have happened if I only didn't go to that hellish alleyway! My damned curiosity will push me to grave one day, or it already did.
I breathed heavily. My heart felt like it was weighing a bucket of mercury. The fire climbed up my throat, burning it like the light burned the white flying moths.
I stood in this fair darkness, shocked to the point where I couldn't react in any way. My whole body froze, no limb could dare to move, and my eyes weren't blinking, still locked on my hand, as if seeing a miracle that was actually a nightmare.
Icto was also standing in the same place, with his pale eyes wide open, and a frightened expression. I knew well he hated any sort of violence. The sight of the red blood changed him from a nice and peaceful person into a…
He locked his eyes with mine. His pupils, despite the darkness, that was surrounding us, narrowed to the point that there were only two tiny dots visible in the middle of his lilac eyes. The silence arose, but it was broken as quick as it lasted.
"Hahaha, man. I just love Bellus. Ask him anything, and he will do the job per-fect-ly!" — A disembodied male voice echoed through the narrow alley. As he was speaking, clanks of reloading a weapon mixed with his soft, chuckling voice. I quickly realized what it meant. Shit. Not again, please. I'm sick of it.
I screamed as I could hear someone lifting a weapon near us.
"Icto!!! Run!!!"
I didn't have any time to look around for the oppressors, it was pitch dark anyway. Someone had a good eye or either advanced stuff, as he pierced though my hand perfectly, despite it being so dark around.
I had to look for my device, it must have landed somewhere near! Maybe it's still in one piece! I need to retrieve it! If not, then… I will just prove to everyone that I'm useless, and my dreams are without a meaning!!! I can't be defeated like that!!! No… As long as there is hope, I won't give up!
The warm tears got into my eyes, as I wanted to throw myself on the harsh ground and start looking for the tiny metal scrap. But I couldn't do it. My friend Icto was still standing in the same place he stood, glaring into the void with his dead eyes. He didn't listen to me.
Could he possibly… remember all of a sudden what happened all those years ago? That trauma… He forced himself to forget about it, but the history repeats itself, just like now… again… He…
I can't let him be devoured by his fears! I came here to be all by myself, I accidentally entangled him in all of this mess! How could I be so inconsiderate? I'm… such a bad of a human. I've involved myself in this, then my aunt, and now him, my best friend… So reckless… They haven't done anything wrong…
The pain pierced my head, as a sudden ache. This migraine… I haven't had it in a long while…
…But I can't be moved by a pain I'm already used to… I can't give up! I won't give up! Never!
"You moron!!!" — I yelled, pulling him by his sleeve, as I heard the gunshots fire at us at the same time.
I pulled him with my uninjured hand with all of my force, and it actually worked. This frozen statue of a stone moved, and let himself be gripped tightly by me.
I need to save him. He is much more important to me than just a metallic piece of scrap.
We rushed by the great wall of the district, me persistently holding him by his arm, dragging him like a doll. The electronic installments in the concrete flashed before our eyes, I tried to run as fast as I could, but he was slowing me down, as if he felt it would be better not to run anyway. But we couldn't stop, the bullets were missing us only by inches, I could hear the chasing steps echoing behind us. We need to lose those people, whoever they are, but with a person, who lagged out of existence, I couldn't negotiate or compromise. The wind blew up my hood, and my short hair was ruffling in the air like a comet's tail.
"Icto! Icto, say something! We need to split up! They will go after me! Please go and hide somewhere safe!!" — A yelling voice was itching my ears, I looked back at him pitifully. — "React to what I'm saying for the sake of the Earth. Don't you see what is happening? You need to get help, quickly!"
But he was getting heavier with every step, and the shots were getting closer and closer. I desperately tried to shake his arm, but he didn't react. I was turning my head back and forth, to watch where I was going, and to glance at his still empty face, with eyes looking down at the road we were running on.
I loosened the grip on his arm, not to let him go, but to catch him by his hand. My fingers locked with his cold ones. I tried to tighten my grip, and spike him with my nails to make him come back to his senses.
"Icto! Please, help me! Help us! You're the only one who can do it, please. Go the other way. Go and tell them. I believe I've done this for the right thing. I'm sorry… Once again…
I'm sorry for making you lose what's the most important."
The warm tears run down my face quickly, the wind was forcing them off my cheeks, and they flew away, far behind me. Maybe it was one of them, or my words, or just anything else, that reached him.
I felt the grip tightening on my hand. I turned my head back, to see him glare at my face with tears filling his violet eyes. I hope he came back and won't fly away again. I'm truly sorry.
Icto shook the tears of his face, and frowned his delicate dark eyebrows. I was happy to see him finally react.
Then, in seconds, he did a few big jumps, and outrivaled me, and I was the one being pulled forwards. He held my hand even more tightly than I did his, to the point of causing me pain. We finally earned some speed, and were getting away from the now, distant running steps of a stranger. It appears that his weapon got out of ammunition, as no bullets were longer whistling next to our heads. Both of us were gliding like young sparrows through the air, pebbles thrown out from a high place, but we knew that no matter how long and far will we run, they will find us anyway. No matter how fast the sparrow is, how small the pebble, they will reach the ground at last. And where anyone can stand, a predator can hide.
We need to split up — now. I will go back around, to find the metal device. Eventually, I will melt myself in the crowd of the Bats, or even better. A group of officers will be sufficient. There is always a plan in my head. But what's weird, is that we haven't stumbled upon any officer or any other suspicious person in our long run along the wall. How could this go so bad yet so perfectly? If there is someone shooting harmful bullets out of nowhere, that isn't an officer, they are going to be eradicated in seconds. And this person wasn't an officer, they never work singularly.
Before my eyes, I could see the corner of the great wall arise, foreshadowing the fact that we've come here all the way from the south, such a long distance travelled from our initial place. Once we get to the end of this straight street, I hope we will separate. The headquarters should be right around here. I hope Icto will get inside safely without exposing them to the ones pursuing me.
At this point I didn't even feel my injured hand, it was the same one which the blue-eyed pierced through with his gun. I wonder… Is he the one pursuing us again? If he so desperately wants something from me, then he will get it. With the cost of his life, of course. I'm not letting such an obsessive sick person even get close to me.
"Icto. We need to split up, okay?" — I tried to reach him, but it seemed that my voice got trembled in our heavy breaths and steps echoing between the wall and the buildings.
But he just squeezed my hand more strongly, and still ran forwards.
"Icto!" — I squealed desperately, trying to make him hear my voice.
"I will help you, but in another way. You're going safely with me."
"But my footage, I need to get it back! Do you know how precious is it?"
"More precious than your life?!"
He turned his head towards me, and looked straight into my eyes. His were still tearing, glassy and red. The grief and sorrow could be easily visible. Is he… afraid of losing another person again?
But I won't let myself get lost.
"I'm going to be okay. No matter what, I've dedicated myself to doing what's right. And you won't stop me. I'm sorry for everything Icto. Please, go and get help. If you can't help me, at least give some support my aunt, she is still all alone, left in the house…" — My strength to yell has left my body, my legs were barely going forwards either. My lungs were feeling like a sponge squished by someone's hand. The vitality of my body was slowly collapsing, and I felt like I couldn't go any further.
But I had to go back.
"I'm happy for meeting a person like you. I'm sorry for what happened to your brother. I still can't forgive myself…"
He turned his head back again, but this time his eyes didn't meet with mine. I accumulated all power that I had left in my body, and forcefully pulled my hand out of his grip.
I got free, and immediately turned in one of the adjacent streets. I emerged into the deeper darkness, and could only see his shadow rushing forward, disappearing behind the corner, as I paced in my direction.
The look in his eyes, I would never forget it. As desperate as it was a few years ago. Every time because of my fault. But at that time, I furiously tried to throw the fault on someone else, to make me feels less guilty. But after the time passed, I realized that you can't live a way like that.
He didn't turn around for me. He knew that I was counting on him, and hurried ahead, into the cold air, filled with shadows. I didn't come back to him either, the need of proving myself was more powerful than my will to escape and abandon my wish to gradually change this world.
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