Chương 30: New Changes 1

'Now Wonho-sshi. Would you have given up on architecture if that night never happened?'

Wonho is taken aback by the sudden question. Even if the attack never happened, he would still be an omega. He would still unable to be an architect no matter how hard he tries. It wouldn't have changed anything.

'If you are the old Seo Wonho, who was, as I recalled, the architectural protege who had won many awards even from middle school, would you have given up on your major if you had only turned into an omega?'

'I…' He looks at the therapist's face. She is expressionless, waiting patiently for his answer. He stirs on his seat; this is making him uncomfortable. He doesn't know what she expects to hear from him. 'I think so…'

There is a long pause to which he assumes she waited for him to continue. Without answer, she inquires, 'You think? Are you confident that you would have?'

Wonho closes his eyes and tries to relax. Would he really have given up? He remembers being afraid of meeting his alpha classmates and professors after that incident, but that surely is not the reason why he gave up. He gave up because omegas are not allowed to be architects. Yes, that is the reason.

'Are you sure about that?' She continues, still with a straight tone. She had been asking him the same questions over and over again and as he continues to answer each one, Wonho finds himself doubting everything he ever thought he knew.

He… No. Beta Wonho would have been frustrated to be asked to let go of his dreams without any solid reason. He might have put up a big fight, just like the time in high school when he was asked not to submit his work to a competition so his other peers would have a chance at winning. In fact, he might even rebel against the ridiculous rule and said fuck you while completing the course with flying colours just to prove everyone wrong and mess with them, like he did back then.

'I… I don't know.'

'I think you do know the answer. Now I need you to tell me.'

Wonho swallows and looks away. Things are different now. He is no longer a beta. But he would still have fought for what he wanted, maybe. 'I would've stayed. I think.'

'You would have stayed and complete your course.'

'Yes.' He hears a slight change in her tone and turns to watch her scribble something on her notes. Her face is relaxed as she finally puts down her pen.

Wonho sits up and places his hand on his knees, ready to hear today's conclusion. He knows it is going to be hard to digest, he can feel it. And he is right. His therapist explained about something he never thought is possible - aside from his confidence shattered to pieces, which is obvious, he apparently is also experiencing the direct effect of the bonding.

As it happened, bonded omegas and alphas experience change physically, emotionally and mentally. Most of the problem he had been facing has been because he has been showing submissive behaviour, which should have been towards his mate.

However, due to the absence of such mate, he apparently had placed that submission towards something else. He felt the need to submit to a non-existing society ruling – a 'ruling' that he created as an excuse to signify his choice of changing courses. Which is the result of his fear to face other alphas in his class.

In all the complexity of his situation, he managed to make himself worse.

'W-What should I do now?'

'Now that you know the reason for what is happening to you, you should be able to rethink your decisions. Whether or not it is the right choice.' She smiles at him and puts her notes aside, indicating the end of the session.

Wonho wipes his face and stares at the ground for a while, his therapist getting up to pour him some scented tea. She passes it to him and waits until he drank the last of it before checking in on him one last time. He thanks her and walks out the door, heading to the entrance to wait for his ride. His mind in a mess, still trying to process what he just heard.

'Wono-yah!' He looks up to see Haneul, already arriving to pick him up. Giving him a weak smile, he pushes himself up and heads towards the small car.

From Jinyoung's constant pressure, and him being ashamed of frequently having attacks in front of his lover, he finally decided to see a therapist. And as he conveyed that to the older omega, Haneul engulfed him into a bear hug, too tight he swore he heard his ribs cracking. The latter recommended his own therapist who he still contacted once in a while, and Wonho has to admit, she is great. For the last two weeks and a couple of sessions, his anger subsided a lot. Now he is working on his anxiety, and rebuilding his confidence which apparently takes more time.

'How is today's session?'

'Complicated. Confusing…' Wonho answers honestly. He looks out the window, staring at the water droplets flowing down. Resting his head on the seat, he asks, 'Can you give me Joseph-hyung's contacts? I have something to ask him…'

Haneul smiles widely and agrees. He had hoped the younger would ask for it. After more than two months, he finally does.

#####

Wonho stands still at the hallway, staring at the door. He can hear the familiar voice of his professor echoing; of contents he remembers from last year. He takes a deep breath, places one hand on the handle and pulls it open, just a little, and freezes.

Those obnoxious scents.

He quickly closes the door and turns around to walk away. He can't do this. It is still too early for him. Nobody will accept an omega in his class. He should have never quitted literature.

Wonho stops his steps and leans back. It is too late. He had already quit and basically begged the university to allow him to continue architecture, back from where he left off- the second semester of his second year. And they finally agreed. What will they think if Wonho return and tell them he takes back what he said? They will probably ask him to quit school completely.

He has nowhere to return to. Nowhere else to go. If he wastes another year then he will be all alone, his friends would already graduate. At least now, he will be in the same class as Chansol.

He looks back at the door and closes his eyes. Chansol is there. No matter how slow the boy may be, he is someone Wonho can trust with his life. He may not be the brightest, but his love for his hyungs is enough for him to take actions when needed.

Without sparing any more time for self-doubt, Wonho enters the lecture hall as quietly as he can and scans the hall around quickly. As he expected, Chansol is sitting at the far corner, near the window. But he is not sleeping like what Wonho assumed, he is actually paying attention. Smiling brightly, he slowly makes his way to his junior, careful as to not disturb the class.

'Chansol-ah.' He whispers and the boy almost jumps as he turns to face him. Wonho sneers as he is greeted by that bright beam. The young alpha replies softly as well, 'Hyung!'

'Wonho?' Wonho flinches a bit as his name is called and notices someone he would never have expected. Minwoo from the medical department is right beside Chansol, eyes wide in surprise.

'Hey.' Wonho smiles back and turns his face towards the front, eager to listen to the professor. Beside him, Chansol continues to stare at him, his right hand on Wonho's right shoulder, trying to hug. He still has his smile. And right beside him, Minwoo has the same expression, his fangs on display for everyone.

Wonho wonders why he didn't do this earlier. It is very comfortable being here, finally feeling like he belonged. Albeit the slight fear he still has from the surrounding alphas.

Once the lecture concluded, Wonho heads to the very front to greet his professor. The middle-aged man still remembers him, to Wonho's delight. While not knowing the full details, all his professors know about Wonho, the top student, changing courses due to some personal problem. Mr. Byun hugs him and pats his back to show his contentment of the young man's return.

Then they chat for a while to catch up.

#####

Minwoo wanted very much to ask Wonho about his sudden decision to join the class but before he even had the chance, the older already made his way to the front.

'Leo, why's your hyung here?' He asks the junior instead as he collects his belongings to shove into his bag.

'I don't know but I'm very, very happy. Damn.' Chansol squeals and before Minwoo could ask further, has already skipped down to wait for Wonho, waiting right behind the two chatting figures. Minwoo grins as he pulls his bag over his shoulder. Somehow, he has a feeling that he will see Wonho more often, at least once a week from today.

Looking back for the last time, he decides to leave them for today. He can catch Wonho later. Maybe, use the class as an excuse to exchange phone numbers. Just thinking about it makes him simper in excitement, all the way back to his room.