Chương 27: His Fear 2

Wonho stares at the red-haired fluff stuffing his face with ramen. Jinyoung's already chubby cheeks is filled with food, reminding him of a hamster. Wonho always wonder if those cheeks will still be as squishy.

He pokes just to make sure.

'What are you trying to do??' Jinyoung screams in between munching and hits his shoulder, sending him bursting into laughter. This man never fails to amuse him, his every action adorable and funny. Not to mention, he still looks cute even while making that scary face. Wonho knows he is trying to scare him, but he is just so, squishy. 'Stop pinching my cheeks!'

'Aigoo.. you're so cute.' Wonho continues his attacks even after a few more hits from the smaller male. Jinyoung even sprayed some food while screaming for him to stop, but the former refuses. A few more punches and he gives up. 'You'll never win against me.'

'One of these days…' again with the useless threat. Jinyoung glares at him before shifting his attention towards Wonho's unfinished ramen. 'Aren't you gonna finish that? Your lecture's in 15 minutes'

'I'm skipping this one.'

'Again? Aren't you skipping a lot?' Wonho flashes him a smile and brings his own bowl to eat while walking around the room. Jinyoung's room is messy, his stuffs placed randomly all over the place. It is not dirty though, thank god for that because Wonho hates dirty people. Jinyoung is just too unbothered to arrange his stuff.

'Wono! You should take it more seriously! Jesus, why did you change your major if you hate literature so much…' Jinyoung continues his complaints and Wonho turns a deaf ear as always. Nobody in the lecture will even care if he is absent anyways, and he only skips those without attendance. It doesn't really matter but Jinyoung is a diligent person so he will never understand.

Wonho continues to look around, occupying himself so he won't have to answer the small squish. He opens the freezer and gasps at the amount of food inside. 'Why do you have so many of these?'

'Wono, ten more minutes.'

'Still not going.' He takes out the instant fried rice and shows it to the other, raising an eyebrow to urge Jinyoung to answer. The said man rolls his eyes in annoyance and slurps the last of his food. 'Food stock during my heat.' He mutters incoherently and Wonho had to ask the man to repeat again. He blushes when he finally gets it.

Wonho had never been with Jinyoung during his heat; only sending food before and after the week is over to make sure his lover was healthy. He never thought about what happen during that time because he was not allowed to enter the vicinity and would always cut all contacts to give Jinyoung his privacy. They wouldn't even talk about it because it was too personal. For him that is. Jinyoung tried to bring it up a couple of times in the beginning of the relationship but Wonho simply decided staying away from each other was the best for them.

'It's…' Wonho tries to change the subject again, as he always does upon hearing about the subject. 'It's expired.'

'I didn't notice.' There is silence and both of them try to think about something else to say. Jinyoung knows the other isn't comfortable talking about the matter but Wonho on the other hand, is in a dilemma. He had been trying to avoid thinking about it, but the subject is actually scaring him. He doesn't want to admit it, not to anyone, but Jinyoung is not a stranger.

'Heat… what, how…' Wonho swallows his word, afraid and embarrassed at the same time. He wants to know, but it is too overwhelming to even say it. 'What does it feel like?'

Jinyoung looks at him, bewildered. He didn't expect the man to not have it yet, but at the same time, he doesn't even know when Wonho first presented as an omega so it can be possible. They never discussed it so he always thought of the subject to be a taboo in their relationship. Even now. Which is why he finds it even harder to explain something really private. 'Your body just gets hot and uhm… wants to be touched.'

Wants to be touched… Wonho distorts his face, already feeling disgusted by the thought of wanting to be touched. Moreover, because he is already claimed, it means that he will only want to be touched by his mate, his rapist. That bastard. Disgusting.

'C-can you hold it in?'

'Not really. It's… kinda sensitive, emotional time and you can't really think straight so…'

He will feel it during his heat. He will become that dirty omega who is desperate to be fucked by his rapist. Just imagining it makes him loath himself again; the food he just ate now threatening to come back out.

'I-I need to go.' Wonho shoves the food back into the freezer and runs out of his lover's room. He doesn't feel good. His whole body feels so disgusting he just wants to shed his skin. And wash all his organs with bleach and scrub them with wires. Every sickening fluid flushed out of his body.

He stumbles with the key to his room, hands shaking from the sudden cold. After a few attempts and some intense scratching on his exposed skin, he manages to open the door and runs towards the toilet, spilling his guts out.

'Wono, did I say somethi- Wono, what's wrong??' he hears Jinyoung's voice and tries to close the bathroom door but before manages it, the man is already rubbing circles and patting his back, much to his dismay.

'Go away.'

'Why are you crying?' Jinyoung wipes his cheeks suddenly, making his tears flow even harder. 'Owh no, I said something?'

'Go away! I don't…' his mouth is covered with Jinyoung's arms surrounding his head, bringing it close to his chest. He hears the man's heart thumping slowly, at a rhythmic pace and starts to choke. He doesn't want anyone to see his pathetic state, but it is too late. Everything is always too late.

'Why are you crying? I need to know so I won't do it again…'

Wonho hugs the man back and tries to calm down but he couldn't. He ends up talking in between sobs, 'Heat... I don't wanna be touched!'

Jinyoung remains silent, only gently caressing his head just like his mom did back at home. Protecting him. 'Jinyoung-ah! I don't wanna be touched anymore! That man… I'm scared…'

'It's gonna be okay.' The hug tightens and he feels Jinyoung's cheek pressed against his ears, the vibration of his voice directly calming. 'I'll be there with you instead… We'll get through this together. Is that okay?'

Wonho nods and continues crying his heart out. He had been denying it for months now, refusing to think about it but the truth is, he is really afraid. Even more than anything he ever feared.

He is terrified of his heat.