Chương 12: Chapter Twelve.

"No. . . No way!" I protest, yanking his arms off me. His eyes immediately widen in surprise along with his raised eyebrows. He doesn't say a word as I back myself away from him, hastily wiping away the tears on my cheeks.

"No?" He questions quietly, his words holding an icy tone to it. I nod my head, confirming it incase he didn't understand the first time.

"What's wrong, Alex? Don't get rejected often?" I murmur at him, feeling adrenaline run through my body. I expect him to grow angry at me, I expect to see darkness and fire in his eyes.

"I don't actually."

"Well there's a first time for everything," I respond, lowering myself down until I'm sat on the street kerb opposite him. I need to put distance between us. I bend my knees, placing my head in my hands as I continue to watch him. I don't see the anger or frustration.

He looks emotionless, like an unreadable book.

"Are you going to force yourself on me now too? Because I said no?" I ramble, the effects of the alcohol going to my brain.

Shut up Ariana, don't let the vodka take over.

The damage is already done.

Alex pauses, his entire body becoming rigid. He narrows his eyes at me and that's when I notice the fire starting to burn inside his dark pupils.

"What did you just say?" He asks me quietly, his voice a low rumble. I let out an annoyed breath, drunken sassy Ariana becoming irritated at him for not listening the first time. It isn't that he didn't listen, he simply wants me to repeat my words.

"Why do people think it's okay to abuse their position in a relationship and take advantage? Do you understand the kind of pain that causes? Multiple years of anger, built up frustration, blaming ourselves for what happened?" I say furiously. At this point, I'm yelling.

Tears continue to stream down my cheeks and all I can feel is pain. So much pain in my heart. I inhale sharply, glancing up at the night sky. My dark hair tumbles down my back, tickling my bare skin from where my shirt is exposing my body. Memories come flooding back to me, memories that I'd buried so deep and so well. Justin's actions tonight caused the memories to come back to me as strong as ever, along with the pain.

My skin crawls and I feel dirty, ashamed.

"Ariana?"

I've completely forgotten Alex stood opposite me. I suck in a breath, blinking back tears as I slowly lower my head down. He's now standing a few feet away from me, eyes full of worry and concern. Behind his features, I can still see the flames of anger. They aren't as strong but still there. I scrunch my face up, unable to disguise the pain any longer.

"Can I sit next to you?" He asks quietly, looking as sober as ever. I don't understand how he can act and look so sober. I feel completely unstable and drunk, very drunk. I narrow my eyes at him, knowing they were filling with sadness.

"Are you going to try and come on to me again? Because I don't want that." I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut. Tears escape, rolling my cheeks.

"I'm not going to do anything to you that you don't want me to."

"I've heard those words Alex, so many times. It's hard for me to believe you. When I say no, that doesn't mean anything," I whisper, my heart squeezing with agony. I want to look away from him but I can't, my eyes are locked onto his. He's looking at me so intensely, I'm afraid I'll break from his stare.

"I will not do anything to you that you don't want me to. I am not that kind of guy."

I want to push him away and tell him to leave. I want to call him a liar but I can't. I see the truth behind every word and I'm shocked, taken aback. I slowly nod my head and he takes slow steps forward, crouching his knees to sit next to me. He moves so gracefully, his every stride confident and cool.

"You're in pain, aren't you?"

"Yes," I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Are you going to tell me where your douchebag boyfriend lives so I can snap his legs in half?" Alex says darkly. I turn to look at him and his eyes are shining brightly despite the darkness of the night. The idea of hurting Justin is giving him pleasure, the excitement is so clear on his face. A shiver runs down my spine —

"No, Alex." I respond, shaking my head.

"I'll let you watch?" The corners of my lips twitch up. Sick, I know. But I can't help but find amusement in his words.

"No, Alex." I repeat.

"Please? I'm good at what I do," Alex smirks.

"Are you begging me?" I ask, my eyebrow raised high. Alex shrugs in response.

"I wouldn't call it begging because I have a reputation to keep hermosa. Let's call it. . . persuasion."

I let out a small laugh. The pain inside my chest is slowly fading away, making it easier to breathe again. My eyes are still glossy with a layer of unshed tears but I can't help but smile at him.

"You're a sick guy, do you know that?"

Alex's smirk deepens and his eyes light up like stars, shining so brightly.

"That's the best compliment you've given me," he breathes out. He shuffles closer to me and holds out an arm, his intoxicating scent hitting me all at once. I have to breathe deeply to get my mind to clear.

"Can I put my arm around you?" He asks, his tone soft. I bite on my lower lip before nodding. Warmth immediately spreads through my body, heating up the coldest parts of me. I shiver from his touch and his arm tightens but it's not the cold that's causing my body to tremble.

"I want to tell you something about pain," he starts, his voice a quiet murmur down my ear. I stare at the spot on the floor, scared to look at him. If I do, I'll notice the small distance between us.

"Emotional or physical?" I respond, muttering my words. He doesn't hesitate before replying.

"Emotional, physical pain is for the weak."

I gently pull away, turning to look at him with a frown on my face. "Physical pain is for the weak? Wow, I didn't realise you were super human."

The corners of his lips twitch upwards. He shrugs, brushing my words off his shoulder.

"All I mean is that physical pain gets better. A cut, a bruise, a broken bone... it all mends itself. Physical pain slowly dissolves, most of it is psychological. If I tell you something is painful and it happens to you, guarantee you will feel that shit ten times more painful. It's the way our brains work, we're human."

I listen closely to his words, nodding every now and then to show I'm taking an interest.

"Now emotional pain is the tough one. Emotional pain isn't for the weak, it eats us up from the inside out. It invades your heart, your mind, your body. We can't mend emotional pain, we can't stick a plaster over it or put it in a cast. We have to take emotional pain head on and try to not give in to it. Once you give in, it's like a downward spiral. It sucks you in, stripping the life from you slowly. You can do two things with emotional pain hermosa... you can allow yourself to spin into that downward spiral - "

"And the second option?" I ask, holding my breath. Alex raises a brow at me, telling me off silently for interrupting him. I wince, muttering an apology.

"The second option is to use your pain as your strength. Use your pain to motivate you, inspire you, keep you alive. Control your pain, don't let it control you."

He finishes off, a dark look in his eyes. He rips his gaze away from me and I notice the sharpness of his jawline. A muscle twitches in his jaw every few seconds and I know he's gritting his teeth. His face looks haunted, pained.

I hesitate, glancing down at his hand that's dropped back down to his side. Without thinking, I reach forward and take a hold of it in mine. Its large and warm and Alex turns back towards me, curiosity filling his eyes. I hold his hand and squeeze tightly, pushing the thought that I'm comforting a stranger to the back of my mind.

"You're in pain, aren't you?" I whisper, repeating his words from before. I don't look into his eyes because truthfully, it scares me. His eyes mirror mine —

Sadness, pain, anger. . . Mostly anger.

He takes a moment to reply, the silence growing between us. When he does speak, his voice is thick with emotion, weighed down by his personal grief.

"Yes."

"Me too, Alex. Me too." I respond softly, his hand still in mine.

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