Chương 42: 40.

He closed the door firmly before pushing me into the center of the room. I kept my eyes on the floor as he walked around me, sinking into his chair. He placed his elbows on his desk, his hands clasped together as he glared at me.

It was so difficult to just stand there as he scrutinized me, as if I were just a bug that needed to be squashed. He stood up abruptly as if he finally came to an decision as to what to do with me.

"You will no longer go to school," I looked up at him, startled. "You will no longer leave this household." How could he do this? Just simply take away my freedom without a second thought. "And you will no longer see that wretched girl."

My mind suddenly blanked to that and there came a deep and empty canyon. He continued speaking, his tone growing more urgent. It continued to grow and grow; he was yelling now. I'm sure of it. But I could not hear a single thing. Not a word.

I suddenly found myself in my room, not remembering how I got there. I looked around as if this was my first time being here when in reality I've been stuck here for so long I know every nook and cranny.

Time, I found out, was no longer important to me. Everything just came and went. Manny would come in and make me eat. Charlie would try to break into my room every chance he got. And I never left my room.

I found I just couldn't bring myself to care.

Strangest thing is, I felt so calm about everything and yet, I wasn't calm. There was a constant current in my head and this deep, aching emptiness that knew no end.

There were times Manny would come in and try to talk to me but he eventually gave up as I didn't say a word. I was eventually assigned a tutor but my unwillingness to do anything made it very hard to teach me.

I didn't allow myself to think. If I did then all of my thoughts would lead to her and everything would hurt. I would much rather feel this numbness than to be in pain.