Chương 14: Your Love
I stood by the bus station near my school, sipping a refrigerated milk with stainless steel straw. Different kinds of cars, buses, and bikes ran through the two lane street, breaking out the brisk soft wind that was passing by. Red, orange, and yellow leaves fell from the bald sugar maple trees that lined up beside the walking alley; as the winter season came to say hi.
I wore a fine polyester cotton long sleeves t-shirt behind my baggy red jacket. I held a monochrome painting while I armed my dark heavy shoulder bag beside me.
It was past afternoon that time. The sun was hiding behind the clouds and the crescent moon peeked out from the shadows… a very peaceful day with slow mourning stacked through the shimmering optimistic light; except that I need to be not interrupted by the growling of a black pit bull beside me. Its reddish eyes flared and its fur behind its neck stood, as it was tempting to charge; although I didn't sense the need for it to attack me since I couldn't be compared with the jaws that was baring from its mouth.
A teenage lady with black sunglasses tried to nudged the dog to stop. Her wooden crane barely smacked her dog's torso as she pulled her pet away with a leash, even though her feeble arms can't be matched with her canine dog's admirable strength. Since she was struggling in detecting her dog's movements and only relied with the dog's persistent bark, I could assume that she's blind.
When suddenly, the dog urged itself towards me and the blind woman tripped over her long patterned skirt. The dog's saliva dripped over its lips, giving me a big gulp. Right at that moment, all I could ever done was to escape out of danger… when a woman with a straight light brown hair intruded between us, calming the dog as her guts mentally derange her invulnerability.
The lady with the blue polo shirt melodied while attempting to go closer with it, "Here… sweetie, sweetie." Finally, after soothing the dog, she was able to fidget on its neck. The pit bull assault pace vanished as its tail wagged uncontrollably… a way of a dog to say I love it.
From the background, two man with the same clothes as her, lifted the blind woman up and called for the let-down haired lady, "Eloise!" At that time, Eloise turned at them with a big smile, "Coming!"
She gently grabbed the dog's lace, lodging it back again to the owner. The blind woman gave a thanks as Eloise and the others offered to support her. She mouthed, "Your welcome. I would gladly help if you need someone to count into." The blind lady chuckled as she told her another thanks. I stayed by not even acknowledging Eloise for saving my hopeless life.
After that, they went back below the shed of the station and sat by the bench. They tugged their phones out of their pockets and casually had a small talk before they proceeded to play with their mobile games.
I watched by as they kept on laughing with each other. The feeling of having no friends really disturb me… wish I could at least have one or two to bond along with. 'I'm bored.' I thought.
Suddenly I fled in front of them with an awkward wave, "Can I play Minecraft with you?" The three of them stared at me in confusion…. And that was all from the past.
-
Back to the present, Eloise asked me again as she tugged at the end of my blue checkered shirt, "You still don't remember? We were best friends back then!"
I was thinking so hard, trying to get the memories back but nothing seems to come out of my brain. It is as if the detergent smell around the hospital room kept on suffocating my memory board, "Sorry but I don't remember. Thank you for taking your time on telling the story."
Eloise muttered under her breath. Her forehead wrinkled as she tilted her head on the right, "Are you sure about that?" "Technically… yes."
By that time, Albert's talk about amnesia skated down to my mind, making me wonder If I do have this problem stuck throughout my plagued self. 'He bit his down lip while his chin jutted not believing what I had stated, "So you got amnesia... huh? You had forgotten that you murdered this precious brother complex friend of yours, right?" '
And that's where I spouted something that is kind of ridiculous and strange, "Do I have dementia?" It spluttered out with pain and sorrow as my heart skipped a beat. The hanging bulb swayed slightly above while the glowing yellow light danced back and forth through the floor.
Eloise glanced at me in confusion while she straightened her back. She took the pillow out of her head and hugged it tightly as she directly asked me, "Dementia? Is there something wrong?"
I sat by the end of her bed and held her thin sheet, gasping my consciousness from any doubts of the day. I sighed hoarsely as I stared at the eucalyptus plant beside the door, "You said it yourself that you know me and my memories with you are to fuzzy. TBH, If I were to remember those, I would had mistaken Christina with you."
She swayed her head away from me as the level of glare overpowered her; and agreed with me, "Yeah… that happens. We're literally identical." At that stage, the sadness throughout her eyes engulfed within.
My eyes were somewhat sticky and damp whenever I glance at her. How can I expect to enlighten her, when Christina will just spark out of the convo to only remind her that she had no hope left for her… and to begin with that, I didn't even recognize her… how am I supposed to help her when she will only bear in mind that she will be forgotten for so what's sake?
That saddening time, I was whistling my pitiful self away as the white colored walls clouded my eyesight. When suddenly Eloise broke out the profound silence, "About Christina… you already met her a few times back then."
I glanced at her with a scowl and rolled my eyes, seriously enough of her mentioning Christina, "Then we should had stayed apart before I get to deal with your pain in the ass sister."
I know that I'm being rude as usual, but she seems to manage herself from bursting out… No, obviously she thought that it was a joke which is actually not. Eloise chuckled charmingly while she wiped her joyful tears out of her eye's sockets, "I'm glad that you met her again-"
She smiled at me as the pain reflected on her eyes, "-I'm happy that she met that 'someone' who made her happy… not her sister but just 'him'. Whenever I think about it… I knew that I've got nothing left long to live. Why will I take it far to enforce another gender into mine when I can't just claim the love I once hope for?"
Having heard that, my eyebrows furrowed as this bewilderment inside me grew into thorns, "What do you mean?" "I'm just wondering about why I had to drew things further out of the border. I've been asking about my feelings for so many times… if whether or not I see her just the same when we were born."
My mind wasn't functioning at that moment. Well, it's my brain cells fault for not doing its job, "Um… what?" She giggled under her breath while wiping her lips, "But of course, Christina never felt the same way…-"
She sighed deeply while closing her eyes, "-What if I was a just a man who is not related to her? Will she at least recognize me as one?" I stared away from her, finally knowing what she came through, "In other words, you love Christina more than a sister could ever had… not something I would expect."
Prior to that, she blushed hard and panicked, denying all the things she unconsciously spoke out of her mouth, "Wait… actually-" When I shut her off with some advice in mind, "So you're being hard on herself now… how are you supposed to move out of your life when all you can do in the end is to regret what you've gone through?"
Eloise stayed there shook as ever as I spilled it out of my mouth, "There's nothing wrong with it. A person can have homosexual feelings for others, the same thing for a person who actually have feelings for someone who is related to them… and you got the full pack, Eloise."
Her cheeks can take it anymore. The reddishness on her, feels like she's going to explode out of her face, "If that so…" I continued with my speech with much confidence than ever, although my face looked dead as a rock, "You can't easily shake that off, Eloise. You are just like any other. If you force yourself to change just because you felt that it is wrong, it will hurt you more than ever. The pain you had today will grow. There is a reason why you lived… and that reason is the freedom to go on with your will. No one should stop you from doing what is crucial for you."
After my 'wonderful' lecture, astound silence went across us before Eloise smiled in front of me.
Tình trạng nguồn điện hàng tuần
-- Xếp hạng
Quyền lực 
-- Đá
Quyền lực