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50% ABISMO / Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Chương 10: Chapter 10

"Hey Wela, good morning, I brought you water for your medication before I head off to school." I say as I walk into my grandmother's bedroom at six in the morning with her water and a bowl of oatmeal with blueberries. I have a small alarm clock that is programed for five in the morning every day. My grandmother took it upon herself to teach me how to take care of her, myself, the house, laundry, cleaning and cooking since I turned six. She told me that when she turned six her mother taught her the same way because in those days it was important that a girl knew how to care for a house and a family.

She needed to prove it before she became of age and was presented to all eligible bachelors. Woman from back in the day were all taught the same, her mother included. She tried to do the same with my mother, but she turned out to be a bad seed, just like her father, lazy and unsupportive. She never wanted to do anything in the house, my grandma said that when she turned eighteen, she left and never looked back. "Imagine my surprise dear when I received a call one winter morning four years later."

"She begged me to take you or she would put you up for adoption." She said ashamed of the child she gave birth to. "I don't regret it…" she coughs, "You're my piece of heaven, my reward for the crappy card fate dealt me with. Your mother put me through a lot but I still and forever will keep loving her. She is your mother Lilah, just because I told you this, does not mean you have the right to rebel against her. You have to love and respect her, even if she does not deserve it." She says soothingly caressing my cheek tenderly from her chair.

My grandmother never lied to me, even when she was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer when I turned seven. She did not sugar coat it; she had said that it would not have had a good outcome if she died and I was kept in the dark. She did all her chemo's and never missed an appointment. She kept deteriorating quickly and kept repeating what she had once told me, about respecting my mother and loving her even if she did not treat me right. To never rebel against her and do as I'm told.

The doctors told her that the cancer had spread, and she did not have a lot of time left. She has been bedridden for almost a month now. I walk into her bedroom, put the breakfast table on her nightstand and open the blinds to her windows. "Grandma time for breakfast and your medication." I say as I open the first drawer of her nightstand where she kept her pills. I take out the ones she needs now from the bottles and put them back. I grab the water bottle from the table and get on her bed.

I shake her gently, "Grandma your medication." I say but she doesn't respond. I gently push her hair away from her face and gasp. She's covered in her own vomit, stone cold, pale and rigid to the touch. She's dead… Stephen crawls over me and roughly pushes his way between my legs. My tears run down my cheeks like a never-ending river, he rips the shirt I had put on along with my braw. He kisses down my neck, nipping and biting me gently.

My sobs and screams were muffled by the tape covering my mouth. I can't let him do this to me! I feel so weak… so helpless… I close my eyes whishing he would just kill me… "You know… Stephen hasn't taken his eyes off you." Andrea says bumping her shoulder against mine gently. I roll my eyes, "I don't care." I say not in the slightest bit interested and quite frankly very much annoyed with her. She has a thing for those losers and older men, like my mother and most girls here.

"Don't you want to know what your mom sees in him?" she asks curious wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. I hit her in the face with my Cheetos bag in annoyance. "No, drop it." I say as I make my way towards the swings. I wiggle my hips and buttocks trying to pull my tight dark blue jeans up to cover my butt crack, so it doesn't show when I sit. I pull my shirt down over the hem of the jeans and sit on the swing, listening to Andrea go on and on about Stephen and his goons.

I roll my eyes as she becomes a giggling mess when one of said goons wink at her. There is a reason why thirteen-year-old girls are watched like hawks by their fathers. It's when the boy crazy faze starts and doesn't seem to stop. Making most girls our age make the biggest mistakes of their lives. I started to hate how my body is filling out since I turned eleven. My breast grew to a full C cup almost D, my stomach is flat, my waist is small, my hips are wide, my buttock is big, my thighs are thick, and my calves are toned.

My skin is light tan in color, my hair is long, crazy curly and dark blond. My nose is small, my lips are thick, my right eye is silver, and my left eye is gold. Weird combination my grandmama didn't have the slightest clue from what side of the family did I take that trait from. I see my mother walk towards Stephen putting a little more swing to her hips and smiling seductively. My stomach twists in disgust and I look away before I puke my guts out.

"See, your mom can't get enough of him. Plus, he is clearly interested in you." She says from next to me. I look towards her in anger, no one knows of what happens in my parent's place. How much trouble his attention puts me in, how they brutally beat me, especially when my mother has a point to prove. "For the last damn time… I am not interested!" I hiss at her and get up off the swing, I start walking back towards my parents' place by myself. I see Stephen ignore my mother's advances as I pass by, her face distorts in anger and she glares angrily at me. I sigh in exhaustion; I look up at the sky knowing what awaits me when I walk through that door.


Chương 11: Chapter 11

I feel when he gets off me and stands on the floor. I hear when he unzips his jeans and drops them on the ground. He crawls back on the bed, to unbutton, unzip and pull my jeans off along with my underwear. I tighten my legs together and fight him, I tug harder on the rope around my wrists, I buck and kick trying to get him off me. Nothing works, he slaps me hard on my cheek momentarily shocking me into compliance. I can't believe he just hit me, I feel the cold air touch my once covered skin and I fight harder.

He caresses my calves trying to relax me but only gaining for me to tighten my legs together. I don't want this, my sobs come harder momentarily leaving me without air. I feel helpless, incapable of taking care of myself, I feel his lips on my calves, licking, nipping, kissing and biting his way up my body. I can hear his groans of pleasure and his whispers, but I can't make out what he's saying. He digs his fingers into my thighs painfully prying my legs open making way for his head and making me whimper in pain.

I tug harder on the rope, making it dig into my skin and draw blood. I start begging the dang thing to come lose. My heart is beating a mile a minute and its making it harder for me to breathe. I close my eyes tightly as I feel my panic skyrocket when I feel him open my legs wider to fit his body. I cry harder, he's going to take something from me that doesn't belong to him. Something that is supposed to be my choice to whom I give it to, when and if I even want to.

I cry for my innocence that will soon be ripped away from me. I tighten my eyes shut and breathe in deeply when I feel him settle between my legs. He holds his weight with his arms that he wraps around my back, lifting me a little off the bed so he can crush me to his chest as he kisses down my jaw and neck once more. I greatly regret coming here to get my belongings. I should have just gone straight to the orphanage with the social worker as planned but I needed the evidence I had safely put away against my parents.

He gently pulls the tape covering my mouth off, I open my eyes and stare at him. Why did he take it off for? My tears make my vision a little blurry, but I can still see the guilt in his eyes, I know that men like him won't stop. Nothing I say or do will change his mind. They're the type of men that when things escalate with a woman and she backs out at the last minute, they don't take no for an answer. Not even tears can make them stop something they know is wrong.

"You ready?" he asks, I turn my face away. "Please, Stephen…" I whisper defeated, I feel something in me fighting to come out. Its roaring in anger making my head feel as if it's going to explode from the inside. It bulldozes its way through my brain roaring and growling in anger. My sight turns red, I feel it course through my veins. My fear is quickly turning to anger as if someone is flipping a switch. I feel it ripping, scratching and biting its way to the surface.

I can feel it wants to protect me, soothing my mind and letting me know it wouldn't let anyone else hurt me. I feel it tug at my feelings urging me to accept it, letting me feel its love for me and will always be on my side. The anger overpowers my fear, burning from the inside of me. I feel it push through my mind as if swimming against the current. My fear keeps it subdued, it begs me to accept it, to let it do what it's supposed to, which is protect me.

Its pushes and roars are making the pain radiate around my whole body. I succumb… I reach for it like a thirsty person seeking for water in the desert. I'm thirsty… Thirsty for revenge… for justice… I inhale deeply and let go. I close my eyes and embrace it; I accept it whole heartedly as it does me. I can feel when it integrates with my DNA, how it wraps itself around my heart and mind. Accepting me and all my baggage, it sooths away my pain and fears. I scream in pain, scaring Stephen…

He quickly gets off me and runs to the tape he took off me. He tapes my mouth shut as I wither in pain. I feel my body heat up, as if I was thrown into a cranked high furnace. I feel as if my skin is peeling off, I can't control my body much less its movements. My screams are muffled by the tape, I feel when Stephen gets on me once more and it roars loudly in my mind. It wants out and it wants it now. "Stay still Analiah or I'm going to have to hurt you." He says as he roughly pulls my knees up making room for himself.

He kisses my tears away but ignores the spasms of my body. The fire cranks higher making my vision turn dark. I feel him gently bite my right clavicle and align himself to enter me. I feel my chest tighten in panic; I close my eyes tightly making me see dark colors to distract me from what is going to happen. It felt when he was starting to push in and it had enough, it knew it couldn't go slow, it bulldozed through me and took full control of my body in a heartbeat. I scream in pain and it turned to an animal war cry, all I feel is pain, searing, crippling pain that cranked higher and higher until everything went black.


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