Chương 13: Chapter 13: Reversal Of Fates

Nero appeared at my side, surprise on his face until he saw me. He wasted no time, though, the perfect angel of Death that he was, that I would never be. My brother acted, scooping up the tiny soul pulled free of the small, crumpled body as the family before me erupted in denial and anger and grief in the flare of time it took for the doctor to pronounce the baby dead.

Nero left with the infant soul in his arms, without a word to me. There was nothing to say, no things to be spoken that hadn't been said many, many times before. I'd failed at last, as I always did. And nothing would ever make me one of them.

I turned, found Daphne glaring. Of course my sister seemed far more pleased in her furious and judgmental way than she should considering a baby just died. And she wasn't alone. Where Kael had come from I had no idea, though my brother had obviously been lurking. From the closeness he shared physically with my sister, they were better friends than I'd known. "I hope you're happy," she said.

"Little Evie." Kael's cruel nickname always made me shudder, the bile and vitriol he coveted just for me oozing out to lick at the edges of my empathy. While Daphne lacked subtlety with her attacks, Kael was a master of emotional abuse. Between the two of them, I wouldn't stand a chance. I had to get out of there. I just couldn't manage to make myself move.

"I don't know what happened." My hands shook before me, reaction to the blunt force of Daphne's mingling disgust and delight at my failure and the slowly building venom from Kael. "It was working. Why did it stop working?" It wasn't fair. I tried so hard and still, in the end, I failed.

Kael's laugh did its job, crumbling me further, the load of hatred he lowered around me taking my breath away. "You disgusting, pathetic loser," he said, voice light compared to what he hit me with. Daphne grinned at him, enjoying the show, obviously. I would not bend before them, wouldn't fall to my knees. He of all people would not have that from me.

I would not break.

He held silent, pressure never easing, the weeping mother and father filling the quiet with the shell of the child that should have breathed and cried and begun his new life with them held in their shaking hands.

Failing at death was bad enough. But failing at life made me a murderer. And it was that message Kael finally left me with, chuckling when he stepped through the door, Daphne following behind him.

It took everything I had to leave though I was finally able to move again, knowing I would likely run into resistance and more attacks. But I was surprised to stumble into Nero standing toe-to-toe with the two eldest. It was clear from the hissing argument my brother had stayed to defend me. Daphne jabbed a finger at me as I joined them in time to hear.

"She's not my responsibility," she said. "This was Mother's terrible idea."

"She's in your charge, is she not?" Nero patted the back of the infant's rescued soul as he hiccupped and stared at me with big, wise eyes beyond his years. Souls were ageless, endless. This one would go on to be born again to someone else, grow up, grow old and die. But the life he was meant to live was over too soon and I knew firsthand how much trouble it would be for Dad to sort out a new path for him.

Daphne muttered something under her breath then shrugged. "I knew this was a terrible idea." She glanced up first at Kael who didn't comment, arms crossed over his wide chest, smirk intact before she refocused on me like it was my fault. And it was, so I didn't fight her aura's rage.

"Take her home," Nero said, not meeting my eyes, not even acknowledging me or the fact our oldest brother should have been the one giving the orders. "I'll deal with Dad." He left then, abandoning me to my angry sister and smiling brother, both of whom turned their backs on me for the second time.

"We're done," Daphne snapped. "That was the last task assigned. Get lost." She left me then, stormed out the doors at the end of the ward, probably heading home to the Garden to tattle to Mom. Then again, it was a very good bet Mom already knew.

Kael lingered, gaze traveling over me, smile never wavering, letting me feel enough of his utter contempt I couldn't recover completely. "I'll see you, Evie," he said and left me there at last.

I stewed after Daphne and Kael had gone, trying to find anger, to fuel myself forward with some kind of self-supporting emotion. And found nothing.

It was obvious to me now I was as big a disaster as everyone thought. Worse. They should just lock me up and not let me anywhere near anything resembling Life and Death until the end of time.

I finally moved only because I had to. I couldn't stand there in the middle of the corridor anymore with nurses nudging past me, doctors hurrying by. I needed a nice, quiet place to hide, to retreat from everything and sort myself out. If I could.

The hospital. This place, it held one soul who would understand even if he could never know who I was. I could go to Adam, draw on his kindness, sit in the quiet of his room and let his mortal generosity of spirit give me some semblance of peace.

I was already through the door and out of the mortal realm before I allowed myself to finish that thought. No rest for the monster.

The moment I entered the Crosspath I felt it. The shift, the disorientation. And the doorway appeared again, the wavering entry to a realm unknown. Only this time the mist was real, pouring from me, leaving me weak and dizzy, staring, unable to move. It rose and formed an arch, an endless black hole wafted over by rising white puffs of what seemed like smoke but carried no scent. Calling to me. Thin, transparent, without depth but with the promise of more, it begged me to join it. I drifted toward it, allowing its lure to bring me closer, knowing in my soul it would devour me if I let it despite feeling it came from inside me. And at that moment I wanted the mist to do its worst, to eat me alive and swallow what remained. I paused a few feet from it, the mist licking at my toes. Numbing the flesh inside my hurtful shoes. I could go inside, disappear forever and no one would ever find me...

My hand reached out, grasped for the door handle, a shape that formed as I searched for it, made of mist and tingling under my palm. But when I pulled it remained closed, shut off from me and in that moment despair won.

It was locked.

In a flash the door vanished, the mist it was made of slamming back into me. The entire Crosspath skimmed sideways, vibrating back into its original formation while I fell to my knees on the carpet. Both skinned, stinging and burning as I lay there for a long time, trying to muster the courage to rise and go on.

I felt others moving through the Crosspath, ignoring them, as they ignored me. Finally, I pushed my feet beneath me and stood, shaking on weak and wobbly legs, defeated and lost.

Impulse roused anger at last. I turned my back on the place where the door had been, jaw aching from clenching my teeth against the return of my will and stomped with lack of caring for the door back to the mortal realm.

***

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