Chương 25: Chapter 25

Lysandra bit her lip to keep her held-back tears from spilling over.

"How do you remember any of that, if you Erased all of your memories?" she asked, her voice cutting painfully into the silence.

"I'm just reciting what I wrote down." Cale's voice sounded steady again, emotionless.

"You don't remember anything except what you wrote down," Lysandra said. Her own voice sounded shaky and unsure. She didn't understand how he could stay so calm. Feverishly, she reached up and wiped her eyes.

"That's right," Cale murmured. "And that's how it is with Clove too... But I never told her about what happened to our parents. She just knows they're gone."

"No!" Lysandra exclaimed, her dismay crashing over her like a wave. "How could you do that to your own sister?"

"I didn't want her to have the pain that I had," Cale whispered. "I couldn't bear to tell her. And if she forgot, and I had to tell her again . . ."

Lysandra shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut against the rush of tears. "All I want," she began. "All I want is to know what happened to my mother and father. Someone took away my memories, probably for the same reason you did. But I want to know. I can't bear not knowing."

"And I won't dissuade you from wanting to know," Cale told her, his voice deadly calm. "But I'll tell you now, some things cause more pain when they're there than when they're not."

The two of them fell silent for a minute, and the door opened again. "Cale?" Clove asked. "Are you done working yet?"

She caught a glimpse of the looks on Cale's and Lysandra's faces, and the pleasant expression disappeared from her face. "Did I interrupt something?" she asked quietly.

"Do you need something, Clove?" Cale asked. Lysandra hated the way his voice still sounded emotionless.

"I was just wondering if you could help me with my homework," Clove said, her voice shrinking with every word she spoke.

"I'll help you," Cale answered, keeping his eyes on the floor. "But later."

"Okay," Clove said. She pulled the door shut with a click.

"I'm sorry," Cale said into the silence.

"It's okay," Lysandra told him. She wiped her eyes again. "Maybe you should be more careful telling that story when she's here."

"I know." He sucked in a breath through his teeth. "I'm sorry."

Lysandra swallowed. "I still just need to find out what happened to me."

"I understand." Cale's eyes met hers, and she felt a wave of heat pass over her. "Lysandra... I can give you memories."

"I don't want false memories," she said. "I want real memories. I want my memories."

"Yes," he said. "That's what I mean. Real memories."

Lysandra's breath caught, and her lips parted just before Cale leaned in.

Cale pulled back only a second later. "Oh, God," he gasped, letting the oath slip again. "Lysandra. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"You didn't mean to?" Lysandra whispered. "Cale - shut up."

Before he could respond, she grasped the front of his shirt and pulled him back to her. She felt the tension go out of his arms and chest.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again.

Lysandra shook her head. "You don't need to be sorry."

"I shouldn't burden you with my - stories," he said. "And you have your intended to worry about. I shouldn't distract you. I shouldn't."

"Cale," Lysandra said. She leaned her forehead against his and looked him in the eye. "I don't want Remiel. I want you. You're not distracting me. You're not burdening me."

"But - " he began.

"We all have pasts," she said. "We all have memories. Stories. Things inside us that we can't get out. I know how much easier it is to run away from that. But I'm not running. I'm accepting it."

He squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them, he met Lysandra's gaze again. "Thank you," he said. "You're the first person who's ever said that."

Silence fell down over the room for a long time, a dark curtain. Cale turned back to the desk at the side of the room and sat on it, pulling his knees up to his chest. Lysandra stayed in his chair. She watched him. He squinted off into the distance.

"We need to find out who stole your memories," he said.

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