Chương 41: I Believe In You, Alex

Claire blew out a frustrated breath. She hated explaining abstract concepts like this. She needed better words.

"Okay, I phrased that wrong. You care about that person—because it does have to be a person, not an animal—the most and have romantic feelings toward them instead of only caring about them. I really don't have a definition for romance so look it up, okay?"

Alex did as she said and seemed even more confused. "This says romantic means conducive to or characterized by the expression of love. How is that different than regular love?"

She wanted to strangle whoever came up with these definitions. They weren't helpful trying to explain concepts to someone who never experienced them before at all! There had to be something else she could use.

Claire ran a hand through her hair in agitation. It wasn't like she had ever been in love herself either; she only had unrequited crushes growing up. She didn't have any examples of romantic love in her life either since her mom never dated anyone.

"Romantic love is more intense than the regular version. You can love a whole bunch of people simultaneously but you can only be IN love with one person at a time. That's why people date and get married; because they love one person enough to commit to them long term," she explained.

"You mentioned the word 'dating' before when you said I was not your boyfriend. Is a boyfriend an object of romantic love then?" Alex asked.

She wasn't sure she would use the word 'object' but he was getting warmer. "Yeah. If you're dating a boy, they're your boyfriend and if you're dating a girl, they're your girlfriend. Those words are used to show commitment to the person you're in love with."

"So 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' is stronger than 'friend.'"

"Yeah. Love between friends is different than that between boyfriends and girlfriends. You care about your friends but you aren't in love with them. Do you understand now?"

"A little. This concept is still foreign to me so I am not sure definitions or explanations will be enough," Alex said with a slight frown. It was obvious that his lack of understanding bothered him.

Claire sighed. "It's not your fault. Spend enough time with other people and you'll figure it out someday."

"Have you ever kissed anyone like on the show?"

Blunt as ever. She was used to it by now. Most of the time his questions didn't even shock her anymore; she had simply been caught off guard earlier.

"No. I've never been in love so there hasn't been a reason to. You already know I kiss Daisy on the head but that's about it. My mom used to kiss my cheeks and forehead when I was younger but I think most moms do that," she said with a shrug.

"Remember what I said about people casually kissing kids and animals they find cute? That's all the experience I have because I've never dated anybody. Maybe someday after all of this is over I'll be able to get a boyfriend but I've never been all that great with people. At this point it seems more likely that I'll be like my mom and spend my life alone."

"You won't be alone. You have Daisy," Alex pointed out.

Claire laughed. He really was so innocent considering how many people he had killed without question. He couldn't differentiate between types of companionship yet.

"Yes but that's different. I can talk to her but she can't talk back. And cats don't live nearly as long as people do. She's eight in human years but in cat years she's in her late forties. If I'm really lucky I'll get another ten years with her. A cat's typical lifespan is thirteen to seventeen years."

Alex frowned again. "Oh. I didn't think of that; I don't know much about cats. What will you do after she dies? You said she is your only family."

He really knew how to pack a punch with his words. She had tried avoiding that sort of thought because she really didn't want to think about being completely alone again. She would probably get another cat to fill the void but she would likely grieve Daisy nearly as much as she had her mother.

"I'll be really sad for a while but I'll probably get another cat," Claire said flatly.

She knew he wasn't trying to upset her but she was still annoyed by his lack of tact. She picked up Daisy and held her protectively against her chest as if to ward off his words.

"I have upset you," Alex noted. "I'm sorry."

Claire was surprised he noticed. He never had before about things like this. "I know you didn't mean to. But for future reference, talking about someone's loved ones dying is kind of taboo."

He looked up the definition on his phone. "Something that is not acceptable to say, mention, or do…ah. Are there many things like this on the outside?"

"Yeah. For example, you aren't ever supposed to comment on someone's weight or any physical deformities they might have. And you aren't supposed to ask people how much money they make…basically try to avoid saying or doing things that make other people uncomfortable," she explained.

Alex mulled this over for a moment before relying. "But how will I know if what I am doing is making people uncomfortable?"

"You were able to know this time! How did you know, anyway?"

"Tone and body language. I've been reading and watching videos to understand them better."

"Good job! Keep watching for things like that and you'll learn as you go. I'll help you out wherever I can too but it's hard to come up with lists of taboos off the top of my head," Claire admitted. "It's easier to point things out as they come up."

Alex went quiet for a while. When he did speak again his tone was almost hesitant. She had never heard him like this before. "Do you think I will ever get all of this down? To be able to blend in with people like you."

Was he worried about fitting in? That was so…human…of him. There was hope for him yet.

She smiled at him. "I do. I believe in you, Alex."

The smile he gave her in return was a bit more noticeable than usual. "Thanks. You are really nice."

bình luận bình luận của 3

Bình chọn

GỬI QUÀ TẶNG

Load failed, please RETRY