Chương 12: I LOVED HIM WHEN HE HAD NOTHING
Sidewalks. Footsteps. Bone-chilling whiff of the air. And his hand warmly intertwined with my right hand was already enough to make my heart moved.
Honestly, walking had always been too tiring for me. I never appreciated it. Not until Sean and I became together.
Walking with him everyday from school all the way to our home became our everyday routine, and I really find it sweet thinking how he can make inexpensive dates for me extra special.
Well... how?
Minutes later, we stopped in front of streetfood stalls lined up at the sidewalk of the road. With his eyes glued at the fishballs, barbeques and kwek-kweks displayed in each stalls, he gently squeezed my hand and shifted his gaze to me.
"Love," he said, "Bilhan ulit kita kwek-kwek, gusto mo?"
I may be a daughter of a well-known business tycoon but I would never say no when it comes to kwek-kwek!
Nodding, I said, "Yes, please!"
He chuckled and pulled my arms, guiding me towards the stalls.
"Ale, pabili po tatlong baso ng kwek-kwek. Pakisupot po," he spoke as if he's really used in buying on these kind of streetfoods.
Which, he really is.
He told me before that most of the time, kwek-kweks or barbeques are their meal for their everyday living.
"Love oh." He handed me a plastic cup containing four rounded kwek-kweks. I smiled at him.
"Thank you, love!"
But he gave me an awkward smile in return. "Sorry kung laging hanggang streetfoods lang ang date natin, love."
He sounded ashamed which he shouldn't be.
"Uy, okay lang 'no. You don't really have to treat me something expensive just to impress me. Because this"—I lifted my cup—"can already make my heart flutter. Meaning, you're worth more than any money, love."
I saw his lips curved into a smile.
I genuinely understand Sean's situation. When his father passed away three years ago, he started helping his mother to support their family since he is the eldest among his five other siblings. I know how gigantic his responsibility is and I'm not here to be his another burden.
Understanding and loving him is what he needed.
---
Today's our second anniversary so we decided to have a date in a mall. As we we're strolling around the shop's women's section, my eyes instantly sparkled from the hundreds of dazzling dresses all over the places.
"Wow!" I exclaimed in awe. "Ang gaganda ng mga damit, love!"
"Hmm? Gusto mo ba?" I felt his arm snaked around my shoulders and said, "Pili ka ng damit, love."
Without having any second thoughts, I began scanning every dresses hanged on the wall.
My eyes were as if glued on the attractive dresses but it didn't escape from me when I saw him opened his wallet containing only 50 pesos. My heart slowly throbbed. Aw... my man.
Before he could even glance back at me, I immediately shifted my gaze and pulled out the best dress I picked.
"Ito gusto ko, love!" I showed him a white simple dress above the knee. "Do you think bagay sa akin 'to?"
"Bagay na bagay," he corrected, causing me to giggle. "Pero magkano ba 'yan love?"
I didn't answer, instead I held his hand and pulled him towards the counter and let the saleslady punched the dress inside a paper bag.
"1,999 pesos ma'am, sir."
I felt Sean's body froze. But before he could even took his wallet, I stopped him and smiled. "Sino nagsabing ikaw magbabayad, love? Ako ang magsusuot nito kaya ako ang magbabayad 'no."
"But it's our second anniversary—"
"So? It doesn't matter. Next time mo na lang ako bilhan, pero this time pera ko muna, okay?"
He can no longer complain when I already gave the saleslady my two thousands cash.
As soon as we walked out from the shop, I felt his lips brushed on my cheeks, causing my face to heat up. "I love you," he whispered. "Babawi talaga ako sa susunod, love, it's a promise."
I smiled. "I love you too."
I may not be that girl who will date my man even he only has 50 pesos—but I will be that girl who will let him keep his 50 pesos and pay on my own.
Being a burden to him is the last thing I would do.
---
"Thank you for staying with me even I had almost nothing, love," Sean said, staring at me lovingly with his head lying on my lap. "Thank you for understanding me since the day we became together."
My heart thumped as I felt the rumbling of the butterflies inside my stomach. I gently ran my fingers through his hair and played them.
"No need to thank me, love," I muttered. "Walang-wala pa 'to sa binibigay mong saya sa akin 'no."
His facial expression softened as if he was touched from what I've said. "Dencris..." He cupped my face and made our eyes locked to each other as he gently caress my cheek.
"Sa lahat ng babaeng nakilala ko, ikaw lang ang nanatili sa akin kahit na walang-wala na ako. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang ginawa ko para mapasaakin ka pero nagpapasalamat ako. Ikaw 'yong pahinga ko sa mundong 'to, love. Sa'yo ko naramdaman na hindi ako nag-iisa dahil sa huli, mayroon pa rin akong ikaw, Dencris."
I bit my lower lip.
Sa lahat ng sinabi niya, tanging "mahal kita" lang ang sinagot ko.
Funny how he can take my breath away with his words. This feeling is too undescribable and God knows, I don't want it to end.
"Someday, love," he began, "we're gonna make our dream wedding come true— we will invite all of our ex's and let them witness our wedding vows and I do's. And also, I want to be thankful to them because if they didn't break our hearts, it will never lead us to each other."
"Let's do that." I brushed my fingers through his hair and genuinely smiled. "Someday, love..."
---
"...for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"
"I do, father."
"I now pronounce you husband and wife."
The loud round of applause filled every corners of the church, pulling me back from the trance of our memories years ago. That's the only moment I shifted my gaze at the altar, giving me a nostalgic pain in my chest.
Sean is really a man of one word—because if he doesn't, I wouldn't be here, clapping my hands for the both of them.
Masaya ako para sa kanya. Tinupad niya 'yong pangako niya, kahit hindi niya ito mismo tinupad kasama ako.
Seeing him successful, healthy and in bliss with his newly-wedded wife was as if a signal for me to finally move on, to finally accept the fact that my purpose in his life had already ended years ago.
Maybe this is really bound to happen.
Maybe my only role in his life was to love him when he had nothing, that's why when he already had everything—he left me.
---
By: Emma Yadani
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