Chương 8: Chapter VII
Eva was panicking. The first week of her marriage had passed so quickly and now there were the other social duties to attend to. It seemed that the Ton was eager to meet the new bride of the Marquis of Dunham. There had been so many invitations to different balls, hosted by different peers that she did not know or she did not remember from her short Season five years before. But what was the most disconcerting was her husband's attitude towards her. After the library scene, a few days ago, he had come to her room and told her that he would not accept her having a lover before she provided him with an heir. He emphasized the fact that he wants his son to be biologically his, not only legally. After that he had stormed off and he had been giving her the cold shoulder every time they were in the same room. Tonight they were supposed to attend Lady Wicker's ball and he had not yet indicated that he would accompany her.
Her maid helped her choose an emerald gown, one that was quite scandalous with the low decolletage and the bold color. Although she initially protested at the suggestion, after her maid assured her that married women were allowed to wear bold, bright colors, Eva sighed in relief. She really liked the color and it definitely brought out her eyes.
After everything was perfectly in place, Eva went down stairs and was disappointed when she did not see her husband. It seemed that he had decided against accompanying her after all… She tried to mask her disappointed all the way to Lady Wicker's house but unfortunately she was like an open book.
She arrived and was about to be announced when she felt a presence next to her.
"We may not get along, but we've got to keep up appearances." a detached and cynical voice whispered in her ear. Her husband had come in the end. She plastered a smile on her face and as their names were announced, they gracefully stepped into the ballroom.
Eva froze. Everyone was looking at them askance. They know! It was the first thought that crossed her as her eyes settled on a particular Lady Dornan, the woman under whose roof everything had taken place five years ago. She was also looking at her with visible contempt and she made sure to share that feeling with the people with whom she was engaged in conversation. If Eva could die of mortification, now was the time.
"Don't stop smiling" Her husband commanded and she obeyed. She was a marchioness now and she should act like it. She should not let herself be cornered like some puppy.
As they strolled through the ball room they encountered various acquaintances of her husband's but they also stumbled upon Lord Ashton, deeply involved in a political conversation with some elderly men. She greeted him but her husband seemed to tighten his hold on her arm when she addressed Robert with his given name. A warning, she thought.
While her husband intervened in Robert's conversation with the others, a woman who she guessed to be about seventy, passed by and disdainfully remarked to the younger woman by her side.
"Oh dear, I fear they've moved the brothel into society, you should take great care in whose company you let your daughter…"
Eva looked around, hoping that no one else had heard that but her gaze collided with her husband's, who was watching her intently.
"Gentleman, if you'll excuse me, I think I shall take advantage of this waltz to dance with my wife."
Taking her hand, they headed for the dance floor and started dancing.
"You heard" she simply said as he whirled her about the floor.
"It was hard not to" he laughed bitterly.
"Tell me, wife, am I to hear at every corner of this room shameful things about you?"
She blushed and tried to avert her gaze. She was beyond ashamed…
"I… I do not have any power over what people say."
"Well, you may not, but I do." he said in a determined tone and stopped dancing. He signaled the orchestra to stop as well thus claiming the attention of everyone in the room.
"Ladies and Gentleman" he started. "I fear I have overlooked to present you my entire lovely wife, Evangeline, The Marchioness of Dunham. I trust that you are all giving us your blessing." he raised her gloved hand to his lips and kissed it, all the while daring anyone to say something.
"And if you have anything to say, you may say it too my face. I have always been an early riser." His lips curled and she noticed that everyone understood what he implied. He was defending her honor at the cost of his life. Everyone was silent.
"You may continue now." he said and the music begun.
"Thank you" she mouthed.
"I am just doing my duty, I am, after all your husband."
"Thank you nonetheless" she said, her voice a pitch higher.
Christian was amazed by his own actions. He hadn't even meant to accompany his wife tonight but then he had realized that his absence could cause unwanted rumors and his wife already had a shady reputation. As he lead her off the dance floor he kept on thinking about how good her hand felt in his own, how alluring she smelled.... He shook his head and muttered a curse. Why was it that he lost his head in her presence? It was as if bloody cupid had shot him with one of his arrows.
"Well done, mate!" Robert congratulated him for his speech. He was hoping that at least his words had been taken seriously and that his wife would not have to endure such a humiliation anymore. Although, to be honest, he was becoming increasingly curious as to what had happened during her debut. What had truly happened....?
"Ashton, a word if you please."
He let his wife alone for a moment and took Robert aside.
"I want you to find out something for me."
Robert raised his eyebrow in question.
"I want you to find out what exactly happened with my wife and why everyone is so hostile towards her."
"So you are finally ready to let your assumptions and prejudices aside and find out the truth."
Dunham scowled at him and Robert grinned.
"I see that you have. Very well. I shall do everything in my power to find out."
"Thank you"
He glanced at his wife and saw her fidgeting nervously under the suspicious gazes of the peers. He quickly sauntered to where she was standing and was quite pleased to see her relax a bit.
"Would you like to go home?"
"No" she simply answered.
"I don't want them to think I am afraid "she straightened her back and held her head high. She was a little warrior, his wife.
"Then would you like to take a walk in the gardens?"
"Yes... I believe I should like that."
She took his arms and let him lead her to the gardens.
"It's such a beautiful night. We haven't had such a clear sky in a long time."
"Indeed, it is."
She was smiling at him and at the sight of her beauty he felt all the air leave him.
"You're really beautiful" he said without even realizing.
"...Thank you..." she blushed and shyly returned the compliment.
"You're really beautiful too..."
"Men can't be beautiful!" He laughed at her and she cringed a bit.
"I am not making fun of you, love, but it is quite offensive to tell a man that he is beautiful. Maybe handsome, manly, strong. But not beautiful."
"Then you are handsome, manly and strong" she said giggling. It was truly different, he thought, to see this side of her. She wasn't her usually reserved self. He realized that...maybe, a small part of him wanted to know her as well.
They seated themselves on a bench, far away from the main entrance.
"What do you enjoy doing?" Christian asked her, seeming genuinely interested.
She was enveloped by a feeling of warmth and of....belonging. She did not know why, but he made her feel safe. Even when he yelled and threatened her, he seemed inoffensive. He was all bark and no bite. And the fact that he was curious about her gave her hope that maybe her plan would work. To get to know each other and to forget the past. To look only towards the future.
"I like to read" she admitted. "It's my safe haven"
"Well it seems that we have some common ground. What do you like to read?" His question was uttered softly, not at all patronizingly and she derived courage from that.
"Philosophy" she said in her small voice, hoping he would not mock her like her father had.
"You're nothing" he would say. "Girls are only good for one thing and that is to make an advantageous match. And intelligence is not a requirement for that so I want to hear no more on this subject" After rebuking her in such a manner he had taken away her books from her and had hid them quite well.... That was until she had managed to find them in her nightly adventures.
"Really?" Christian asked wide eyes. He had definitely not expected that given what he had heard about her.... but he was placing importance on rumors again.
She just nodded at him and abruptly averted her gaze. Damnation, I made her feel bad, he thought.
"Which philosophers do you prefer?" He asked in a tone that sounded harsher than he had intended.
"Epicurus mainly..."
"I myself prefer Pluto, especially his dialogues."
"I have read them as well although I can't say I completely agree with him. Don't tell me you are of the opinion that Atlantis truly existed?" She was talking so animatedly right now, it was obvious she greatly enjoyed debates.
"I reserve judgment on that, at least until more proof of its existence is uncovered. But you have to admit that it would be a truly wondrous thing if it existed."
"If."
"If it is" he smiled at her.
"Can I kiss you?" He blurted out. As he saw her eyes widen he was afraid he had ruined the mood.
"I mean..." he started, not knowing what to say to lighten the mood.
"Alright" she nodded.
He bent his head and lightly brushed his lips over hers. It was so different from the last time they had kissed, different from all the times. She seemed to be enjoying it now as she moved her hands up his arms. Hesitantly at first but growing bolder and bolder. She opened up for him and when their tongues touched it was as if he had been struck by lightning. A shiver went down his spine and he wanted to weep for the overwhelming feelings she was producing within him. He had never experienced something like that. It was truly a unique moment.
Eva was proud of herself as she lost herself into his kiss. It was only her and her husband. No more ghosts between them. She felt truly free. They kissed and kissed, took and gave. When they finally parted, they were breathing hard and their faces were flushed.
Christian had a hard time believing that a mere kiss would have such an effect on him. It was reason enough to scare him.
"We should get inside." He said suddenly, straightening his spine, not wanting to let her see how much she affected him. She only nodded and looked rather dazed herself.
As they entered the ballroom, surprisingly, not a soul paid attention to them and Christian was rather content to see that his little intervention had paid off.
"Let's go home after this dance."
"Should we? I mean should we leave so fast...?"
"We have already proved all there was to prove. It seems that no one even noticed our absence a while ago."
"I guess you are right"
After the last waltz had ended, the pair went home. As they entered the house and the footman took their coats, Christian felt a sudden pang of regret. He didn't want her to leave... and he didn't want to force the note and ask to come to her chambers, which is why he found himself suddenly inviting her to join him in the library.
"I would love to." She answered and beamed at him.
They settled themselves nicely on the sofa, but on distinct ends.
Eva was suddenly very much aware of him even at the other end of the sofa. Heat seemed to emanate from his body and she really wished she had a fan on her. Christian chose a scientific book while she quickly bypassed the Alexander Pope poem book, still mortified by the last time's occurring and picked a play by Shakespeare.
"Did you enjoy yourself tonight?" She looked up from her book to find him staring at her.
"Yes... As much as I could given the situation. But, had it not been for your intervention then I would have definitely not enjoyed myself. So thank you once again." She chose her words carefully, wanting to convey all the gratitude that she had felt for him and still felt.
"My pleasure" he smiled at her, his dimples more preeminent than ever. He put his book aside and although he initially seemed uncertain, he ended up asking her a question.
"Would you tell me about yourself?" He was met with silence for a second and felt the need to add. "You don't need to tell me about... That incident, I shall respect your privacy until you really wish to tell me."
"I had a normal childhood... I guess. I have three siblings, all older than me. „She smiled at the memory of Anthony and Alice, whom she had not seen in five years because she had been deposited in the countryside.
"My sister Louise, she was only two years older than me so we were closest. She was such a sweet girl, rather childish but she was the epitome of kindness. And then there were Anthony and Alice, the twins. They are almost 8 years older than me. Anthony is a viscount and he's still a bachelor but Alice married when I was but a little girl. I was never exactly close to them because, as twins, they seemed to be in their own world. I think that's why I and Louise were so close."
"And is Louise married too?"
"No... She is...gone" she whispered the last word and Christian thought he did not hear correctly but when he saw her eyes glistening with unshed tears he realized that he had heard all right. Her sister was dead.
"I'm so sorry... how?
"Consumption. She was dead within a week." She shuddered at the memory. She had been fifteen at the time, still a happy child by all standards. Her sister had been her role model, the person she had aspired to be. Louise had been beautiful and innately graceful. She had had silvery white hair and dark blue eyes and she had always been the pride of their parents and the only child towards whom her father had shown any affection. She recounted how she had been in awe of her sister's perfection and how she had always followed her around, emulating her. But then she had fallen sick. She told him how Louise had suffered, how the house had been in turmoil every time she would cough blood. But she did not tell him that she had also been sick. While her parents had fussed over ailing Louise in the room next to her, Eva had also been battling for her life. And while she had thought she was never going to make it alive, no one had been at her side, whispering soothing words or even comforting her through that hard time. But Louisa had died and she had survived. She had had to see the light die out of her father's eyes. Though she had loved Louisa more than anything, she had also hated her a little bit, for those restless and lonely nights which had remained embedded into her very soul, for the guilt she had borne because she had been the only one to survive and for the parental love she had never felt. But she did not tell him that. He needn't know her deepest wounds.
"I am sorry, I should not have asked." he said, his voice rueful.
"It's been a long time. I think I should probably go upstairs. Good night." He rose as she stormed out of the library.
Christian knew she had not told him everything. There was more to the story. There was sadness in her eyes... Robert had been right, he realized. The girl was no actress; on the contrary, her face was an open book. He wanted her to confide in him. He raked his hand through his hair and he realized how overwhelming his feelings were. She inspired feelings of protectiveness, and of something else he could not put his finger on.
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