Chương 37: Depresso espresso dreams
"W-well," Laureen ponders the question. People forget their dreams all the time, but they usually remember their dream. "yeah, but I don't remember it very well."
Something seems off with the last part, so I question her saying, "Well if it kept you up, wouldn't you remember?"
She seems to pause, flustered. Then I remember my dream and I became flustered too. Maybe she had the same dream. But the time period for hers was different. It could've been the same dream, but at different times. Or for different people. But if we did have the same dream, did she see what I saw, or from her point of view in the house. But I could've been swapped for someone else easily.
"W-well," she starts fidgeting with random objects, "today's been a long day and all."
"We just got done with lunch and we're in fourth hour." I point out.
"Well this whole situation has been tiring." she defends.
"But something like this would stick to you. Did something bad happen during your dream? Do you want to talk about it when no one's around?"
"I-I" she stutters and sighs, "I'm not sure if I want to talk about in general, but yeah. I'm not saying I don't trust you, I completely trust you, it's just a lot to process."
"I had a dream last night too, but when I woke up it was due to my alarm. It's a lot to process too, I get what you mean. I understand, so it's fine."
She breathes a sigh of relief and says, "That's good to hear, I feel much better and at ease. I feel like it can be hard to explain sometimes to people. I feel like adults just don't understand. Well, mostly parents."
"Yeah, I get that. My parents are nice, but they don't get how depression works. They think someone is just sad, and depression is the same for everyone. They think that if you're depressed, you're really sad so that means there's something wrong with your life. And if there isn't, you're doing it for attention."
"That's not ok. Depression can't be controlled. You can have a perfect life, but still depressed. It's a fault in chemical balance, not personality."
"They don't see that whenever I try to explain it. They're a bit older, so they don't understand a lot of things I do."
"That sucks. It's not there's really anything you can do about it. Depression is a mental illness, not an emotion."
"They think it's a choice. I feel like they don't understand me. They wouldn't understand a lot of things about me. Well, my dad's not that bad about it. There's still a lot he doesn't understand. He mostly just tries to react the best he can, unlike my mom. They're just really 'traditional' in their eyes. It's not that bad for some of the things, but others..."
"Yeah, I get what you mean." Laureen finishes that sentence, then we realize that class already started. We never heard the bell.
I still have the whole dream situation on my mind. Did she have the same dream? Does that mean she suspects I like her? Or does that mean she likes me back? Does she like someone in the way I like her? Were are dreams only similar? Will I find out what she dreamed? Will she tell me if I ask her? Will I be alone with her to ask?
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