Chương 11: eleven
MiQian was extremely pissed. Liang Shao didn't want to leave his side for some god damned reason, and Fei Mo wasn't doing anything against it!
„Fei Mo, I have something very important to talk about! So get that disciple of yours out of here!"
„Is it so important?"
„Yes god damn it! Just let me have a private conversation…!"
Fei Mo frowned. MiQian didn't mind if anyone listened to his private conversations. Normally. But now he was this agitated.
„Liang Shao, please leave us alone."
„Master…?"
„Liang LengHuo."
Liang Shao flinched and swiftly left.
MiQian almost collapsed. When he woke up he was sweating, his heart pounding in a panic. He felt like crying.
„MiQian, what happened?"
„Bad, bad, bad dream."
„So bad?"
„Yes…"
He helped MiQian sit down and took his pulse.
„What did you dream?"
„There was a town being attacked by living corpses and I saw myself eliminating them all. There was the YinYang symbol on my robes and I was very powerful, so eaten up by it… No matter where I ran, I was haunted by myself, no matter how far… No matter where I hid… I was so alone…"
Tears started pouring out of his eyes and he curled himself up. He had been so scared of the old Ran MiQian without a clear reason. In this dream world, he was so lonely, so hollow. This wasn't his body, his world, he didn't belong here, he didn't belong into any of the three known realms, the unknown realms, the beyond, this novel.
He felt like he was dying.
„MiQian, listen to me. You are safe, you're human. You're not alone."
He understood that Fei Mo wanted to be reassuring, but it didn't help. Didn't help at all.
„But I'm lonely. Nothing will ever stay with me. In the end it will all hunt me down again."
„Do you mean that you remember your past?"
„Some bits and pieces, but nothing concrete… I just feel so alone in this world. There's nobody who understands my deepest thoughts, no one who understands the true me… There are almost no people that know me. I feel like a ghost."
It was the feeling he had in the dream. Normally, he didn't feel anything in his dreams. He just saw what was happening. But when he felt, it was very intense. Happiness was like the sun rising in his heart, panic and anxiety like drowning in the darkness of his mind.
In his past life, he never had any nightmares. But there were two dreams in which he had so big panic, that he woke up sweating and crying. They weren't nightmares. They were a mirror of his insecurity, of his distrust and impatience. A mirror for his need to control what was happening around him.
If he couldn't control it? One always had a certain control over a situation, but if you felt like the catalyst for every catastrophe?
He cried for a while, then calmed down.
Fei Mo really didn't know what to do aside from patting his friends back. He didn't know what exactly had happened to MiQian, but really wanted to help. MiQian had accepted him at his worst and the other way around. He knew how dark thoughts could be. His own disciple was also an example for this.
„He looks calm and collected, but in his mind, he's already planning on how to kill you. He can be really horrible."
„He really does that?"
„Yeah… But his tolerance level is incredible. He'll endure for a while, but if he snaps you won't find any trace of him being responsible for your bad luck."
„He's manipulative."
„Because he's insecure."
„That's no excuse."
„You seem calmer."
„Yes. My heart rate had to calm down so my thoughts would get slower and I relax."
„Makes sense. Just remember what I told you about him. It is in no way an excuse for any behavior, but a warning if he ever does it."
„Kay. Oh yeah, when I came here I saw a dragon in the mountains. So much happened, I totally forgot to tell you."
„A dragon?"
„Yes."
„In the mountains?"
„Yes. He was huge, black and fucking annoying. Good thing we could run away…"
„We?"
„Hm?"
„Nothing. Huge black dragon in the mountains… Oh."
„What is it?"
„It's awake?"
„Obviously. You think a sleepwalking dragon would be a bigger problem than an awake one?"
„Heavens, you really bring the world into motion…"
„I feel like a catalyst for catastrophes."
„I'm so sorry."
„Huh? Why? For what?"
„Because catalyst of catastrophes… describes you pretty well."
„At least I know myself. So what does the dragon do?"
„Well, it was obviously sealed there. But since its in the demon realm, it won't be our problem for a while."
„Then we don't care?"
„Exactly."
„For now."
„Yes."
„Aren't you a hotel manager?? Like, how can you be here and still run business in the demon realm…"
„I have a substitute."
„Great."
„Anything else?"
„… When are we leaving?"
Liang Shao stared at Ran Xin. That cultivator stood behind MiQian like a bodyguard. No, right now they were saying their goodbyes because Ran Xin had something to take care of. He would leave together with Qiao Li, but of course, Liang Shao didn't know that.
Fei Mo would also return to his hotel because he had gotten a slightly concerning report, and Liang Shao had to play tourist guide for Huang Hua and MiQian.
They got on a cart from a farmer that lived in a village east of the town. It was a warm, sunny day and not many people were on their way east since the festival would still be going for a few days.
Huang Hua was taking in one of the pearls while Liang Shao tried to think of something he could talk about with MiQian.
„How did you end up in Senyue?"
„I walked."
The answer was so dry that Liang Shao couldn't think of another question.
MiQian found him already boring. He wasn't good at small talk and also didn't know what to talk about.
„Often saying please and thank you is polite?" Asked Huang Hua suddenly.
„Yes. When you thank someone for doing something for you, even when it was something small, the'll be more likely to do something for you again. It's the same when you praise a kid. It's some kind of resonance. When you are kind to others and do nice things, it will someday return to you."
„Isn't that karma?"
„Basically. Good things return to you. But if you're too naive, you'll be used and used without an end. You have to find the perfect balance. Everyones balance is somewhere else, depending on all the circumstances. Some might say karma dosen't work, but then they just want to use kindness to their advantage. They don't really mean their actions."
„So I have to be honest?"
„Yes."
„Okay. Uhm… can Shizun shorten it somewhat?"
„Love life and it loves you back."
„That sounds great!"
„If you believe in karma, do you believe in the gods?" Asked Liang Shao.
„Hm… No, not really… I know that they exist, it is a fact, but I don't believe…"
„Why?"
„I just doubt that they are more capable than humans. If they spent hundreds of years in heavens, do they even know what is going on on the earth? Do they care? Will they answer the prayers? I don't like putting my trust in something I don't see with my own eyes."
„Reasonable."
They turned silent again. In the village they found another farmer that was on his way east. The next town was known as Yangmin and famous for its loquat fruits and especially loquat wine.
MiQian loved loquats, mostly because of their yellow color and the sweet sour flavor. From the core of the fruit one could make spices, and it was also possible to make medicine from the fruit.
But before they would arrive in Yangmin, they had to sleep in the forest. MiQian didn't mind, he had done that with Ran Xin a few times already, and Huang Hua could sleep in the landscape of his fan. She basically could live in there.
Liang Shao however wasn't very keen on sleeping in the grass with everything that lived in the ground.
So MiQian told him about the microbes in fabrics.
Yeah, that guy ain't getting any good sleep tonight.
MiQian was really happy with himself. Yeah, his mood swings were really extreme… But that is actually common for sensitive people.
He was the last person to still be awake and watched the weakening flames of the fire they had set up. Ran Xin, burning heart. Hopefully he was alright. If the fights in his territory kept going… That wouldn't be good.
Just as his consciousness was starting to drift away, he heard a sound. As he sat up, he somehow felt lighter. He looked down. His body was lying there, and he wore a thin, white robe and his hair was as long as it had been in his last dream.
What the hell was this? Astral projection or something like that? It reminded him of an anime…
There was that sound again.
Going back to sleep wasn't an option anymore. He had to see what was going on. But he was also scared, remembering the last time he went exploring…
He floated up and hushed through the woods, leaving glittering footsteps.
MiQian came to a clearing in the forest. There, under the golden light of the moon, lay a boy in elegant, yellow robes with brown hair and a round face. He had a strange presence, like he was glowing.
He seemed to be as short as MiQian, and though he looked very young and childish there was something about him that seemed very old.
MiQian squatted beside the boy, stretched out a finger and poked his soft cheek.
This action woke the boy up. He blinked.
„Who are you?" His voice was a bit confused but warm and kind.
„MiQian."
„Mhm."
The boy sat up and looked around.
„Where are we?"
„Somewhere between Senyue and Yangmin."
„Ah… The middle of the plains…"
„Seems so."
„Don't you want to know who I am?"
„I mainly wanna know why you can see me."
„You are a ghost?"
„I guess??"
„Astral projection? Hm… Well, I am known as Hua-Jun, and I am a god."
MiQian stared at him. „Huh."
„Weird, right?"
Hua-Jun smiled. But MiQian just stared blankly at him. Deities didn't fit into his world view.
„Your soul is strange… It holds very strong spiritual powers, but they seem to be bound by something… You're just like me!"
„I'm a cultivator that got immortal with fifteen years, how are we alike?"
„I also stopped aging at fifteen! What a coincidence!"
„You don't look like fifteen."
„Neither do you."
„Fair enough."
Hua-Jun laughed. It sounded like a bell. He wanted to stand up but immediately stopped.
MiQian took a look at his legs. „They are broken."
„Oh. Well, falling from a cloud is dangerous."
„A cloud."
„Yes. Heaven really dosen't like me, even though I'm the god of balance. To protect my heart and brain, I stopped my fall with my legs. After all, I'm half human."
„Great balance."
„Yeah…"
„Also, I understand your logic, but do you have a way to heal or something? Because I can't help you…"
„You're a very kind soul, but you don't have to worry."
MiQian flinched as he heard a cracking sound. He could already guess what was going on.
„I'm done! See? My legs are fine."
„I heard…"
As Hua-Jun saw MiQians face he had to smile again.
„You have a face full of smiles, Hua-Jun…"
„Is that good or bad?"
„Depends…"
The two youths sat there for a while and stared at the gras between them.
„So… what are you going to do?"
„Wander around." Hua-Jun shrugged. „And you?"
„Return to my body, if I find out how… Also, we're on the way to Yangmin."
„I'm a god, I can help you."
„That sounds so… uh, forget it."
„Hm?"
MiQian felt like the only purpose of this character was to show him how the gods of this novel worked, help him deal with this new, probably annoying ability and be a npc. A walking cliché if you asked MiQian.
MiQian followed his own footsteps and led Hua-Jun to their camp.
„What the fuck."
MiQians body sat upright and looked at him. Well, at least the head was turned to him, because the eyes were completely white!
„Is that bad?"
„I don't know… Normally your body is knocked out when the astral body is… missing."
„Huh. How do I get back in?"
„Just touch it."
„You sure?"
„Yeah."
„Hm…"
„I'll be waiting here and travel with you. Would that be alright?"
„I have the feeling Huang Hua would be happy about that…"
Hua-Jun was confused but still smiled.
MiQian sighed, knelt down beside his body and patted its head. In the next moment, everything went dark, but he had the feeling that he had heard the faint sound of a small bell ringing.
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