"Of course not."
The truth was that Jian Shen never really had the intention to give up. He was just curious to know what the two swords were thinking.
"Why not? I'm hurting myself, and you two hate it, don't you?"
Nodding her head, Juewang who was in the sword form spoke inside Jian Shen's head.
"I do hate it when you hurt yourself, husband. But this is different."
Before Jian Shen could even ask, Qingyu spoke and answered his unspoken question.
"Because, right now you aren't hurting yourself for someone else. But, for your own future. Achieving a Sword Finger, is the first step to obtain a Sword Arm. And in turn this will help you comprehend the Path of Sword."
"Thus, we have no intention of stopping you, Jian Shen."
Listening to them, Jian Shen could feel that the two of them were still upset with the fact about how he had spent the past two months.
"Also, never giving up, will help you increase your determination and state of mind, husband. So give it your best!"
Nodding his head towards Juewang's encouragement, Jian Shen looked towards the cave where Yu Yan was living inside.
"Never give up..."
Muttering those words, a smile made its way onto Jian Shen's face as he closed the bleeding finger while bearing the pain, and extended another finger to continue his gruesome training
"One.... Two... There... "
Counting to see if he was improving compared to the previous day, Jian Shen stopped training after all of his five fingers were covered in blood, and looked like they were close to being mutilated.
Sitting under a tree close by, Jian Shen focused his attention on the five blocks of 4x6 feet wood.
Depending on the finger he used, Jian Shen could see which block had the most chipped wood. And how different each of his slashes were.
While looking at them didn't enlighten Jian Shen on anything too big, it did allow Jian Shen to understand on how to use his Sword Qi.
He longer felt the need to cover his whole finger in Sword Qi, and instead felt that it was better to increase the concentration around the part which would strike the target.
Since the Sword Qi didn't really do anything to protect his finger, it was best to try and increase the sharpness and penetrate the target deeper.
With that intention, Jian Shen was just about to enter his World Crest and treat his bloody fingers, when he noticed Yu Yan coming out of the cave and towards him.
This might actually be the first time Jian Shen ever saw Yu Yan leave the cave this close to the sunset.
After all, the only time Yu Yan ever left the cave was early in the morning when she came to take water from the stream beside them.
"Long time no see, Yu Yan. Is there something you need?"
Looking at that carefree and frivolous smile on Jian Shen's face, while his right arm was trembling in pain, Yu Yan was truly unable to understand what was going on inside his head.
"Why do you keep doing this?"
"This? Are you talking about me staying here?"
"No. That too is something I'm concerned about. But, that's not what I'm asking you right now. I want to know, why you keep doing this to yourself!"
As Yu Yan pointed at his bleeding fingers, Jian Shen smiled and said, "This? I'm just training."
"No! This isn't training! It's self mutilation!"
Not giving Jian Shen the chance to speak, Yu Yan continued speaking in the same loud and concerned tone.
"You're already so strong! Even if you don't do this, and quietly cultivate you will definitely become a very strong one! So why do this?!"
"At first you'd go around recklessly fighting and come back all beaten up! And now that you're too strong for that to happen, you're hurting your fingers by trying to break wood with it!"
"What is wrong with you?!!"
"Why do you keep on training so hard and fighting? Why do you want to continue growing stronger when all that awaits you are even stronger opponents!?"
Stunned at how serious Yu Yan looked, Jian Shen patted the spot beside him.
Gritting her teeth, Yu Yan stomped her way over and sat down beside Jian Shen, who immediately took the chance to rest his head on her lap.
"It really feels very good to enjoy a lap pillow."
Seeing Yu Yan who was glaring at him, and looked like she'd break out in tears at any moment, Jian Shen lightly chuckled and began speaking.
"Hehe, I remember that when I was a kid, everyone around me hated me, and suppressed me."
"They didn't want to grow stronger, and constantly plotted against me. In those hopeless days, all I'd want was a single opportunity. A single opportunity to break out of it. After that, I'd make sure to become the strongest person so that I'd never feel the same helplessness ever again."
"But I soon realized that I can never be the strongest one. In fact, no one can. All I can do is strive to be stronger than the next one who comes along, because if I'm not, he might be the one to destroy my life and take everything I hold dear away from me."
Listening to Jian Shen, Yu Yan felt like he experienced too many troubles for someone so young.
But, she didn't know what to say at that moment. After all, if she ended up saying the wrong thing, not only would Jian Shen not appreciate it.
That happy and carefree smile on his face, might disappear as well.
"From now on... During the nights don't stay out in the cold... Move inside the cave with me..."
Opening his eyes which were closed from reliving his past, Jian Shen couldn't help but smile, and think that never giving up truly gave result in the end.
Read ahead till chapter 128 at - pa treon.com/erosaint