Chương 6: It Feels So Wrong Again Today.
It's another day folks. And another day I vent my frustrations, thank you very much. I do not know what else I can say today, I mean I hate muy life I guess?
It just feels so wrong sometimes, imagine that you're just really down on your luck and then increase that by a factor of about a thousand, and that is me still being conservative in my estimates. And I feel that if I were to paint a more accurate picture of it feels like for me right, you might as well crank them factor up to infinity.
It feels so wrong for me, and I personally do not know until when this would last. I am not really sure. Though, I do wish days like these would come to an end. But for me, the feeling does not seem to wane anytime soon. And I know you might want to think, well find a something to do, like a job or something, anything to get you out of that mindset. Well folks, as I have already told you I am currently unemployed and looking for work and therefore I decided to do this, whatever this is, because I need an outlet to vent it all I just need something but I still feel anxious, nervous, and worst of all hesitant.
I know having this negative mindset is not good but with all the things happening to me right now, I do not think that there is any reason to feel elated or having any semblance of a positive mindset.
I am really sorry I just rattled off. It just feel like every waking day feels like just one step away from, for a lack of better words, losing everything. I am not going to lie, sometimes, just sometimes I felt like just wanting to end it all, if you understand the metaphor.
But for one reason or another, I just cannot bring myself to do it because I supposedly cherish my life enough to be unable to 'pull the trigger', and I find myself torn between the choices that I could theoretically pursue but am hesitant to complete.
I am so sorry if I made you feel bad in any way.
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