The week went on and Steve had visited twice, telling me the whole story behind the pictures I had received from him. Thankfully, he didn't ask to many personal questions or talked to me much.
There was one thing however this entire week that I couldn't get out of my head. When Natasha had told me she owed me her life last week, I was confused. I didn't know what she was talking about and I wanted to know. I refused to ask because if I did she might be disappointed that I don't remember and I can't deal with anymore people being disappointed in me.
That night, once I had fallen asleep, however, I found out what she mean't.
**I was sitting on the bench, someone wearing a lab coat was injecting some liquid into my arm. I didn't know what it was or why he was injecting this mystery liquid into me, but I didn't move or show that I was uncomfortable, I just let him proceed with whatever he was doing.
Natasha was sitting across from me, we had just finished training. Her breathing was fast, almost as if she was panicked. I sat there the whole time, my gaze on her.
She was trying not to make eye contact with me, many times I assumed she was most likely deathly afraid of me, since she never looked me in the eye, she was always trembling when she got to close to me.
It should've bothered me..but it didn't. Since I knew I wasn't allowed to talk or make friends or get to know anyone.
After a while, the doctor or scientist or whoever he was that was injecting the mystery liquid into me, walked away. Moments after he left was when the guards started pouring into the room.
Most of them surrounded Natasha, grabbing her and pinning her to the wall.
I didn't know what was happening or why the men were trying to hurt her. I fought the urge to stand and do something but I didn't want to get punished. I clenched my jaw, frustrated.
One of the men, pulled out a syringe a clear liquid in it.
I knew exactly what that would do.
H.Y.D.R.A. used it on the new recruits who came in whenever they weren't good enough for the job. It basically drained them of they're energy, of their 'life force' if you will. Leaving them a lifeless corpse lying on the floor.
I'd seen it a hundred times, and I never did anything, because if I did, I would be next.
As much as I tried, I finally listened to the voice in my head and stood up, charging towards the men, ripping them away from the poor, helpless girl screaming for her life. I picked up Natasha, who was shaking nonstop, looking at me with wide eyes.
I ran out of the room and down the halls, trying to find a way for her to escape, but it was no use. The guards came back, more of them this time, pointing their guns at me. I gently placed Natasha on the ground.
I knelt by her, looking at her. "Take this and run like hell." I whispered in her ear, handing her a gun.
She looked at me like I was insane.
Maybe I was..
"What will you do?" She asked, trembling as she took the gun.
"Just go." I whispered and stood back up, glaring at the guards. I nodded to Natasha and she turned around and ran.
That's when I felt a sharp pain in my arm. I held my arm and clenched my jaw. One of the guards must have shot me. I took out the only pistol I had left and pointed it at the guard, shooting him in the chest. I watched as he fell to the ground with a thud.
I took in a deep breath. This is it. They'll surely kill me for this. The thought ran through my mind and honestly..
I didn't care anymore.
I looked behind me. Natasha was gone, hopefully I could've helped her.
I froze at the sight of the man in charge. Alexander Pierce.
He walked to me and I could tell he was furious. "Wipe him." He snapped.
I looked down, knowing what that meant. I wasn't going to get killed. I was going to be taken apart and put back together again. Over and over and over again, until I was 'perfected' as Pierce called it.
The guards led me to the room where they were going to rip me apart, take everything away and then take certain pieces of me that 'mattered' and put that together.
Which created a monster.
After I was brainwashed the guards took me to my cell.
I entered the small prison and both guards entered, grabbing my hands and chaining them the the wall. They took my legs and chained them to the floor. I couldn't sit or lay down even if I wanted too. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the concrete wall, waiting to die. Why couldn't they just kill me now? Why? I kept disobeying them and I hoped maybe they would finally realize I wouldn't cooperate and they would kill me. Then I would finally be put out of my misery.
A few hours passed and Pierce opened the cell door, removing the chains. He walked with me in silence. We got to a room and I immediately recognized it when Pierce opened the door.
Cool air hit me and I walked inside. The room was empty except for a table and the cryo chamber and a scientist. Pierce nodded to the scientist and left.
The scientist walked slowly towards me and motioned for me to enter the chamber.
I walked inside the chamber. Of all the things I've been through going into cryo was something I didn't dread. The pain was usually quick.
Except for this time.
The chamber door closed and I felt the cold air against me.
It slowly got colder and colder until it felt like I was being stabbed everywhere multiple times. Over and over. It felt like it would never end.
After what felt like hours of torture, the cold air became less painful and my eyes gave in. I became unconscious. I would be taken out of the chamber whenever H.Y.D.R.A. needed me to do their dirty work.
I stayed there for 15 years until they finally brought me out again.**
I woke up the next morning with Natasha in my arms, she was still asleep. I decided to not move since I didn't want to wake her. She looked so peaceful as she slept. I moved a few strands of hair out of her face and stroked her cheek softly. After a while, she finally woke up.
She looked up at me, both our faces red out of embarrassment. We quickly pulled away from each other and after a few moments I spoke.
"Sorry about that-" I cleared my throat. "I was going to move but you were asleep and-."
Natasha cut me off. "It's okay. It wasn't such a big deal."
I nodded and thought back to the memory that came back to me. "Did you ever escape?" I blurted out.
Natasha looked at me. "What do you mean?"
"After the guards threatened to..to kill you." I gave a small sigh. "After I tried to help you escape? Did they find you?"
"Oh.." she avoided making eye contact. "I escaped, I was on my own for a while but..." she took a deep breath. "They found me."
I took in a shaky breath, trying to calm myself, I began shaking, just thinking of what they could have done as punishment. "I'm sorry.." Was all I could bring myself to say at the moment.
"It's okay. I'm here now right?" She gave a reassuring smile.
"No. It's not okay. Why did you say that you owe me your life? I didn't do anything. I just made it worse.." I clenched my jaw, frustrated with myself.
She didn't say anything for a while until she finally spoke. "I used to be scared for my life every time you entered that room." She began. "It was probably why I was always messing up. But when you saved me from the guards that day..I wasn't afraid anymore. I was always looking for you every time I had to go train."
She smiled. "Every day..I would ask if I could see you, but the guards said I wasn't allowed to be around you. You were the only thing keeping me going at the time. After you helped me I realized that there was someone out there who cared."
I froze, shocked by her words. "R-Really?"
"Yeah..I got punished one night because I snuck out of my room looking for you. I saw you.." she sighed. "You were in the chamber. 'What are you doing to him?' I would ask. They would respond with, "Be patient Miss Romanova. It's going to be your turn soon enough." I thought they killed you.." her voice trailed off and she bit her lip. "Until...until this happened." She lifted her shirt, revealing a scar on her stomach that was clearly a bullet wound. "It was after I was finally able to escape. Of course they had to send you to kill me.."
I sat there in shock, my gaze travelled to the scar I had left. I remembered that day clearly. I was sent to kill Natasha Romanoff and there couldn't be any witnesses.
I thought I killed her..I thought I had succeeded. But I didn't.
Soon after H.Y.D.R.A. found out she was alive. However her partner didn't make it.
"I'm sorry about that." I said, pointing to the scar.
"I know you are." She smiled, taking my hand, our fingers entwined.
I tensed up slightly when she took my hand. "Natasha?"
"Yeah?" She asked, looking up at me.
"I want to thank you." I gave a small sigh. "Before you came here I was..a mess. Well, you know..I didn't sleep or eat or did anything really. You brought out something in me I didn't think was possible." I admitted, biting my lip. "You've helped me to become someone I am actually somewhat proud of.."
Natasha scooted closer to me and kissed my cheek, a slight smirk on her face. "Your welcome."
I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks and looked away.
"Are you...blushing?" Natasha teased.
"N-no..I am not." I snapped, crossing my arms.
"You sure about that? Because your face says otherwise.." she shot back.
I rolled my eyes, blushing even more. "Your such a jerk." I muttered, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at her head.
Natasha took the pillow and swung it back at me. I jumped, standing on the bed, and grabbed the pillow from behind her. I swung it, connecting with her back.
Natasha pulled my legs out from under me and I toppled on the bed. She proceeded to hit me in the face with a pillow. "Gotcha." She declared.
"That's cheating.." I murmured from under the pillow. "No tackling."
"You can tackle." She argued.
"Fine." I charged, pushing her onto her back and pinning her arms down. We were both breathing heavily our faces only inches apart. I could feel her warm breath on my face, it made my cheeks flush.
"Playing dirty Barnes?" She smirked and reached for another pillow, hitting me in the face with it.
I gave her a serious look before falling onto my side. I looked at her from head to toe and bit my lip. "Why are you so perfect?" I whispered to myself.
Natasha looked at me with a confused expression. "What's that?"
"Nothing.." I grinned.
"You know what I've always wondered?" Natasha asked, still laying on her back. "Why do you always where that?" She took my metal hand which had a glove on. I always kept it on, I didn't like walking around with everyone staring at my arm.
I pulled my hand away and took off my glove. I took off my hoodie as well. My metal arm was exposed now, it was a little uncomfortable, seeing it reminded me of everything I went through. "I hate it.." I said, my gaze still on the piece of metal that was attached to me.
"I think it's cool." She took my hand again and traced the metal etchings. "I like it a lot." She smiled.
"Your just saying that to make me feel better." I said rolling my eyes playfully.
"No I'm being serious." She sat up and locked her eyes onto mine. "I like everything about you." She admitted.