Chương 16: Truth - Part 3
However, despite coming to that conclusion, I still managed to find myself locked alone with her in this room.
Faced with pure beauty as her invasive glare peers into my soul.
All up close and personal.
Ah before I forget, I did skip a few details that came afterwards but I don't think they require much of a spotlight.
About an hour after homeroom, she approached me about finding a quiet room to hide in. I located Chris in order to grab the keys to the only room I had access to: The SF club. The only issue was that I had naively thought that she merely wished to hide here during free periods and lunch.
Once I let her in though, she locked me in with her and hid the key in her pocket.
And here we are.
Her face hovers above mine without care for either of our personal space. Her gaze probed at my expression for any sign of a lie as she prepared to hear my answer out.
She must truly love Scarlet to go this far.
But.
BUT!
What the hell am I supposed to look at in this situation?!
This is completely unfair!!
If I look up, I'd be faced with her intense stare.
If I look away, I'd only confirm her suspicions.
And if I look forward…
Twin peaks.
The holy land stretched out right before my eyes.
Well, what I'm trying to say is…
I can see her fucking tits!
Momoka's shirt hangs down and her cleavage is clearly visible right before my face.
It's mesmerizing.
They're not as big as Jennifer's, but really, which freshman could possible compare to her? The fact of the matter is, they're pretty damn sizeable for a 9th grader.
It's like… how to put it… They're more buoyant than I'd expected. I guess that makes sense since she's wearing a bra. At least one strap is usually visible on her shoulders, but now even the cups are actually right before my face.
Before my…
A sudden sense of guilt washes over me.
No no! There's no reason to feel guilty here! I-I'm a man! Of course I'm going to look down her shirt!
This is beyond unfair! I demand a lawyer! Where the hell is Nick right now?!
… Wait, come to think of it, this is definitely wrong. Right now I have a girlfriend, right? Which means I'm supposed to be a perfect gentleman. No, even without that, I shouldn't take advantage of her in this situation.
Feeling embarrassed, I end up turning my face away.
"T-too close, Momoka…"
"Hmm? What is?"
"Y-your boobs… You're too close!"
"What's wrong with them? Don't change the subject again, Chase. This is important."
Does this girl have no sense of shame?!
"No, um… How should I put it..?"
My lack of conviction seems to bother her visibly, causing her to sigh.
"Hmm, well, I guess I am coming off a bit too strongly right now."
Seeming to mistake my bubbling libido for genuine fear, she moves back into her seat as if nothing happened.
"Fair enough, we have five hours to get an answer out of you. Let's continue playing."
"A-ah, sure…"
Phew. That was close.
Still though, what kind of a saint is she? For a second I actually thought she was attempting to seduce me, but it seems that she really was clueless.
I move my first pawn forward in return.
For a while, we just silently moved our chess pieces as we lose ourselves in the quiet atmosphere of the room. I would occasionally sneak glances at her face as I thought my next move through. I'm dying to know what she was thinking at that time.
What led her to act out against Ryan like that earlier? Being locked in here seemed like a good excuse to get that answer out of her.
On the other hand, she was simply reading her book as she anticipated my next response. I guess it makes sense that she'd look down on me like this. I'm not very good at this game after all. This is probably kinda boring for her.
Thinking that made me feel a bit lonely.
"You're dozing off."
"H-huh?"
"I already answered your move, but you haven't even looked at the board yet. Are you falling asleep?"
"Ahh, sorry. I pulled an all-nighter last night so I didn't get much sleep."
I move my next piece forward, careful not to knock down any of my other pieces.
"An all-nighter huh? Chase, I don't think it needs to be said, but while it's okay to explore your body as a teenager, you should probably pace yourself if it ends up losing you sleep."
"W-what the hell are you saying?"
"Me? I'm only giving you a fair warning. High school is supposed to be the best time of your life, you know. It'd be a shame to miss out on most of it because you spent all of it fatigued from constant masturb-"
"Please don't say anything else. I feel like I'd die of embarrassment if you said anymore. I'm begging you."
"Don't say anymore? What part of it shouldn't I say? That you're tired? A hormonal teenager? Or perhaps it's because every night you masturbate to the thought of licking Scarlet's armpits?"
"Do I look like I have an armpit fetish?!"
That's just disgusting! Who the hell gets off to armpits?!
"Haaa… I get that you're embarrassed by your chronic masturbation issue, but I was only teasing you. If you keep screaming like that then we'll get found by teachers too quickly, don't you think?"
Actually, I'd rather get found out than deal with one more second of this.
"Haaa, fine fine. Still though, are you sure staying in here is what you should be doing? I mean it's fine for today, but… Are you planning to avoid Ryan tomorrow as well?"
"No, I won't have to avoid him tomorrow. If all goes well then everything will be settled today."
"… Is that so?"
I'm not convinced, but there's nothing more to be said on the matter.
If nothing else, Momoka is extremely cunning. That's why if she says it'll be solved, then I'll just have to believe her.
"Yes, that's how it is. Checkmate."
"… Huh?! Already?!"
Its true that we'd played a few more turns during that conversation, but… I've only played four moves total and I'm already in checkmate? How'd her queen get all the way there?
"More importantly Chase, what's with this passive strategy you're employing right now?
"Umm, I'm not very familiar with any real tactics so I just thought I'd move my pawns up one by one to see how you react."
She puts a finger to her chin.
The way she reacts gives me the impression that my plan was no good. I can't help but feel a bit embarrassed right now.
"I suppose that makes sense. But I'll let you know early on that carelessly opening with excessive pawn moves like you just did is a strategy riddled with holes. No, it can't even be called a strategy. By removing the pawns around your king you basically placed your head on the guillotine for me. You moved none of your strong pieces forward and as a result of that you lost complete control over the middle of the board."
"Ahh, is that so...? I probably should have kept more pieces around my king then."
Okay, I think I get the gist of it now.
"Well, stuff like that happens when you're new. But Chase, with how passively you played that, I can't help but think that you're a bit of a chicken."
"… You're saying this based off of a single game of chess?"
"Not just a single game. I've already won the next one too."
The… next one?
"What are you talking about? You won't know if you've won until we play it right? Even if I am new, saying outright that you've won the next game before we've moved a single piece is plain arrogant."
"Arrogant, huh?"
She reaches her hand out toward the chessboard and grabs my king. As if taking my king away was such an easy thing to do. But the way she moved forward felt almost forceful. It was as if my king had truly belonged to her.
"It's far from arrogant, Chase. It's the truth. I would bet one million dollars on myself if I could. My victory in the next game is already a fact of this universe. Even if I weren't as experienced as I am now, I would still win the next game. One hundred percent."
What the hell is she saying?
This is too much, even for her. Calling me a chicken then saying I'm definitely going to lose? Who does she think she is?
"Chase, you just said you'd keep more pieces around your king, didn't you?"
"So?"
"So, look. You're not trying to win at all, are you?"
"…"
"I'm right aren't I? After all, not once did you say that you were going to checkmate me. When I asked about your strategy in the first game, you stated that the goal of your strategy was to 'see how I'd react'. Once I explained what you did wrong, your goal shifted to 'protecting the king.' But look, in neither of those scenarios was your goal to 'checkmate my king'."
"What choice do I have? You're a better player than I am. It's better for me in the long run if I spend my time trying to learn the rules so that I can fight you evenly another day."
She smiles at my response.
She smiles as if she had been using her words to carefully guide me into that exact response all this time.
"That's why I said you're a chicken. The game hasn't even begun and yet you've already accepted defeat. You've already acknowledged me as the untouchable, superior player. And as a result your play suffers for it. That's it, isn't it? You don't want to lose after trying your heart out. Because it hurts to want something and lose it right before your eyes. It hurts to fail, doesn't it? It feels like the whole world will laugh at you if you fail."
I look away.
"Mhm, that's just like you Chase."
She leans in and rests her palm on her chin.
"Yeah. Yeah, yeah yeah. Turn away from me. I'm making too much sense, aren't I? Escape from this terrible situation by looking away from me. Actually, if we choose to observe this more deeply, it explains a lot of things about you doesn't it? For example…"
"…"
"It explains why you chose Sig and Nick as your friends."
I can only look away.
"I had wondered why a boy as amiable and as good-looking as yourself was stuck between those two. After all, it's apparent to anyone looking on from afar that you showed absolutely no interest in any of their hobbies."
All I do is look away.
"I've been watching you closely ever since I learned that you and Scarlet had been dating. And you know, I couldn't help but wonder. Why? Why was Chase doing this to himself? Did he despise himself so much that he'd force himself to play with those kids? Kids he has nothing in common with? Kids whose reputations dragged him through the dirt? Why was he living in that world of geek-dom by himself? I really couldn't understand any of your thought process until I played this game with you today."
I continue looking away.
"The truth is Chase, you respect hierarchies to the core. Both the hierarchy of skill that says I am a better player than you, and the social hierarchy of this school that says the popular kids are better than the geeks. You revere people like Jen and Scar as better than you. You're afraid that normal kids will think of you as weird or boring. And out of that fear of rejection, you settled for you current friends."
I…
"Chase, you gave up on making any real friends on the first day of high school, didn't you?"
I try my hardest to resist the urge to let my anger explode.
After all, if I do that then we'll get found out. And as much as she's pissing me off right now, she doesn't deserve what Ryan threatened to do to her.
And worst of all, she's completely right.
"In the end, you're just a chicken who happened to luck out with Scarlet."
"Shut up."
My anger couldn't be stifled anymore.
I didn't want to hear that. Those words were the last thing I wanted to hear.
That's probably because deep down, I had thought so too.
Scarlet approaching me like that was nothing short of lucky. I was probably reveling in that luck. I was elated to be talking to such a fun girl like her.
But if it was luck, if it had nothing to do with me as a person, then it means that she could also disappear at any moment.
"…"
Her playful grin deflates along with any trace of excitement that her face once carried.
As if the battery on her video game console had just died right before her eyes.
It was that kind of disappointment.
"In any case, the last thing I'd want to waste my time doing is playing chess with someone who's already given up on winning."
She yawns and stretches her arms out nonchalantly, as if she hadn't just completely put a damper on my mood.
"I'm going to go use the washroom."
She walks off as if absolutely nothing had happened.
"…"
I shift in my seat.
It's probably apparent enough at this point, but that was completely different from when Scarlet berated me.
When Scarlet does it, it's clear that she's only using prejudices against geeks and nerds to put me beneath her. In a way, it's almost charming how much less she thinks of them compared to herself.
But with this girl, it's more personal.
It's as if with every exchange of words, she's slowly peeling the skin off of my bones and stripping my weaknesses bare. In Dungeons and Dragons, she would be a courtier; an advisor to some noble figure in the royal court, one who is proficient in the insight stat.
It should go without saying, but that noble figure would probably be Scarlet. For the sake of Scarlet, for the sake of determining whether I was worth her affection or not, she felt that it was necessary to expose the most fragile parts of the man called Chase Masters.
This entire situation was a façade.
She planned to lock me in here with her from the beginning; it was the perfect excuse to get to know me and determine my worth.
It seems my initial assessment of her was correct. She really is straightforward. She just says whatever she wants without a care for how you might feel.
She's the worst match for someone like myself who's constantly drowning in insecurity.
I don't think I should bother myself with this anymore.
Even if I could gain favor with Momoka by staying here, Scarlet and I haven't spoken to one another for a week at this point. And before that, she seemed to want to end this fake relationship.
And besides, is anyone truly worth that kind of abuse?
The abuse that this girl, Momoka Kudo, was capable of handing out?
"…"
But.
I don't know.
There's a strange emotion building up inside of me that I can't quite describe.
This overwhelming desire to protect a future where the two of us, where Scarlet and I can hang out together as friends. Even if she is the most basic woman I've ever met, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have fun talking to her after all.
Besides, I promised her that I'd do this.
Even if she decides that we're ending this relationship tomorrow, the least I can do is protect that lie for one more day.
So, let's keep this charade going for just one more day.
It's on, Momoka.
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