My heart is heavy.
I see Kamiyama sitting beside me. He is holding my hand. There are dark circles around his eyes. I jerk his hand away.
He opens his eyes and stares at me for a long time.
"You remember everything."
I remember everything.
I look down at my belly. It's flat. How do I mourn for my child that I lost two years ago? I didn't even know about my child's existence. "My child..."
He purses his lips. His eyes are full of storms. I might have hidden behind my amnesia. But, he had to endure it alone. He wipes the tears on my cheek. "Forgive me."
For what? I want to ask him.
"For not being able to protect you," He tells me with a defeated voice. Is he the same Kamiyama who came to my house that day? "For hurting you so much."
I don't know what to say. I remember every moment. I can't deny it under his honest gaze. This man is in love with me. When I saw Chisa, I was so afraid that I ran away. I misunderstood his intentions. When he tried to take me back by force, I was scared beyond words.
If Chisa didn't reappear in my life, our child might have been alive now.
Even if she appeared, why did I react like that? If I was stronger, I could have fought back the fear. If I didn't lose my mind, I could have gone somewhere far away and raised my child by myself.
It's also my fault. I wasn't strong enough.
"Do you know?" I smile at him. "When elephants are small, their feet are tied by the chain. They can't break it no matter what they do. They grow up believing that they can never break the chain. That's my story. I hid inside the four walls of my house to protect myself. Later, I hid inside the four walls of my heart desperately. You broke them all. I am thankful that you broke them. It was painful, but I am still alive. That's why I don't hate you."
He comes closer and hugs me tightly. His voice is pained. "I am sorry."
I don't love this man. I can't love anyone. Despite knowing that, I don't push him away.
"Back then, I told you that you can't love me."
He kisses my hair. "You can't stop me from loving you."
He smiles at me warmly. There is a change in his attitude. He is not the same Kamiyama. I am not the same person either.
Love is not on my to-do list. There is someone who owes me a lot. I am going to destroy her until she begs me the same way I begged her.
Chisa.
My old friend, you owe me a lot.
***
Kiyohira sees the darkness in her eyes. There's no fear. Just cold darkness. She must have remembered who that person was.
When she saw Chisa for the first time, she went to her room and lost consciousness.
When she saw her again, she went into a shock.
"Was it Chisa?" He asks her with a somber voice.
"Who is Chisa??" She looks at him. "I don't remember the person who kidnapped me."
She's lying. "Who bullied you when you were in school?"
"Miwako." She replies with a straight face, "I heard that she is already dead. It serves her right."
"There was one more person." He leans closer. Why is she lying? "Don't be afraid and tell me. She can't hurt you now. I will make sure that she pays for what she did to you and our child."
"What does it got to do with you?" She laughs and shakes her head. "I get it that you love me and all. But, I don't love you. It's not my problem that you love me. Before I lost my memories, we didn't have a good relationship. And the kidnapper? I have enemies in the gaming world. I have offended many people. After I revealed my identity in the gaming world, anyone could have plotted and taken revenge."
Kiyohira takes a deep breath. "Why are you protecting that person? At first, I wasn't sure. Now, I know that it's her. Why do you lie to me now?"
Her temper flares up. She grabs him by his collar. "Lying? You are the one who is engaged to her. Do you want to frame her for my kidnapping and use it as an excuse to break up with her? Don't dare to use me. Besides, where is the evidence that it's her? When I, the victim, is saying that she's not the culprit, then why do you insist that she is? I don't even know that person."
She's back to how she was before she lost her memories.
He doesn't have any evidence. He's closer.
But, she is saying that it's not Chisa.
This woman has a habit of lying.
Does she want to take revenge by herself?
Hmm...
"I believe you." He pretends to believe her lies. "You are right. I wanted to use an excuse to break the engagement. Would you help me?"
She frowns deeply. "Why would I help you? We are not on good terms."
"You see, breaking an engagement after two years will put shame to her face." Since this woman wants to take revenge alone, he won't disturb her plans. The grudge between her and Chisa is deep. Chisa will pay for her sins. How she will pay it? He will let Rie decide. "She's from a good family. She's highly educated. Her background matches my family's need. My grandmother is quite satisfied with her. She also waited for two years to marry me. I don't have any good reason to reject her."
"Then, don't reject her," She snaps at him. "Both of you deserve each other."
"Ah, but I love you." His heart is delighted when he notices her eyes change a little. She doesn't love him? It's true. But, she can't deny that there's nothing. "Though it will put shame to her and her family might become enemy, the position for my wife is only reserved for you."
He doesn't know if she will be lured by his words. He knows this. Chisa will notice Rie. He doesn't know what she will do to Rie. How Rie will take revenge on that woman? Right now, he wants to send that woman to the torture chamber and then, sell her to the cruelest brothel in the world where she will be broken every hour. The only person who is stopping him is the woman in front of him.
Rie doesn't fall into the trap. She clicks her tongue and says, "Mizutani will make a better wife. I see that she's still your assistant."
"..."
His fault. He should have fired Mizutani already.
After a pregnant pause, he whispers, "Marry me."
"Tch!" She wrinkles her nose. "Marry you? No way."
"Why?" He raises his brow. He knows who the enemy is. Chisa will find out the truth. Her father can't protect her. Rie also has her memories back. It's better if Rie is always in front of his eyes while she plots her revenge on Chisa. "I am a good catch."
"You are still arrogant." She glares at him. "What's so good about you?"
"Think about it carefully." He grins at her. "Right now, I belong to her publically. I don't like it. You should put a claim on me. I am willing to reject a girl like her for a girl with no background."
She grits her teeth, "Do you love me? I am the girl with no background and yet, you ask me to marry you."
"Because I love you," Kiyohira says it like it's the fundamental truth of the universe. "Humans need oxygen to breathe. I need you to live."
"Gross!" She moves back until her back hits the wall. "Who taught you to say that?
"I saw it on the internet," He blushes with embarrassment. "Takeshi told me that girls like stuff like this."
Outside the room, Yuhara Kozue and Umezaki Yushiro are standing still and listening to their argument.
"Professor, should we?" Yuhara Kozue looks at his professor.
"That man..." Umezaki Yushiro is red with anger. "He wants to steal my daughter."
"Uh... that's what offending you." Yuhara Kozue sighs. What about the fact that your daughter remembers everything?
But, Umezaki Yushiro makes no movement to step inside the room and interrupt their conversation.
***
He's her target.
Chisa wants him. He wants me. She waited two years to marry him. If I snatch him away when she could have him, she would be furious.
She hates it when someone takes away her things.
I want to take everything from her and throw it in the dumpster. I want to destroy all. I want to torment her until...
Beating her physically? Nope. She didn't just give me physical pain. Killing her? Nope. People like her don't deserve an easy death. Sending her to the prison? Why? She will get meals at regular times. What about me? I couldn't eat properly for years.
What about my child?
Life must be paid with life.
I want to destroy her world first. I will strip that mask. Then, I am going to make her beg me until her last breath.
"Kiyohira." I call him by his name, "Why do you want to marry me? Speak the real reason."
"I love you," He says those words again. "You are the only qualified person to take that position."
I am not used to this personality of his. Did he drink the wrong medicine?
"If you love me, shouldn't you date me first? Then, she might break the engagement herself."
Chisa won't do that. She would try to take care of me instead. She hates it when her things are taken away unless she's the one who is donating it to her underlings.
"We can date after we get married."
"..."
Who dates after getting married?
I am tempted. I want to snatch him away from Chisa. She must have known that he was interested in me. She is still waiting for him to marry her even after 2 years. There must be something that she desperately wants.
I pull my sleeves back. Half of my body has burn marks. I show my arm to him. "You still want to marry me?"
He caresses the scarred skin on my arm. My shoulders become tense when his lips brush the burn scars. He lifts his head and meets my eyes. I get my answer.
I am not moved enough to love this man.
"I don't love you." I shrug my shoulder. "If I marry you, it's because I want to have your money."
He chuckles lowly. "I am glad that you finally see one of my good points."
"..." I don't know what to say. "I won't do it with you."
He licks his lips. "That's fine."
"That's fine?" I frown. "Why is it fine?"
"Because I love you." He massages the knuckles of my fingers tenderly. "I have only done it with you. I will do it again only with you. But, I won't do it with you unless you love me back."
"It's fine if I marry you when I don't love you. But, you won't do it until I love you back?" I squint at him. Does this make sense? It doesn't make sense to me at all. We have already done it. "What if I try to seduce you?"
I regret saying those words.
My body is ugly now. I don't think that I can seduce him again. I don't want to seduce him either.
Chisa.
She's proud of her beauty.
She is the reasons behind my scars on my body.
How will she react when she sees him being with me despite being ugly?
"I will do my best to keep control of myself." He pinches my nose. "But, if you overdo it, I might end up eating you. Don't blame me for being savage in bed. It's been a long time since we did it."
"..."
Why I am even discussing this with him?
He will regret it after seeing my body.
Back then, wasn't it just about sex?
It's all words.
It's easy to say that he loves me when he hasn't seen it all.
"Let's get married then." I sigh. "I will marry you because I pity you. There is no other reason."
I pity that you are her target. I will take you away from her first.
"Thank you for your kindness." He rubs my head.
His eyes shine with joy. It's contagious. I also feel slightly happy despite everything. I hated this man once. I hated him so much. Now, I don't feel anything. I am sure that I don't love him. I am doing this to steal him from Chisa. I am going to take advantage of his love for me.
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