The war had been going on for half a year. Everyone was tired, dirty and hungry, they all wanted to end this and go home as fast as possible. Tian Yi was running around from one end of the barracks to the other trying to prep the soldiers for the next wave of attacks. He hadn't seen Feixiang in months, because Feixiang was working with the soldiers in the vanguard. They didn't have any time for sentimental meetings or romantic escapades. Any story that paints war as an appropriate place for romance is dead wrong. Ni Ni observed Tian Yi with pity and patronizing sympathy.
[Poor you Host. But I gotta admit, some people have delusional ideas. Who ever thought that anyone would remain pretty during war? You look disgusting, and Feixiang isn't looking so special himself. You really need to shampoo, take a bath, exfoliate and use a few face masks. Not that I'm looking down on you or anything.]
Tian Yi just ignored her, she had clearly been bored the first few months but out of nowhere the third prince and Tian Wu arrived at the frontlines. Tian Yi and Ni Ni expected them to make trouble but they surprisingly just helped out with the war efforts. Ni Ni was super suspicious about their motives so she just passed her time monitoring them. After she left to spy on them, Tian Yi didn't hear anything from her, no complaints she just disappeared all the time. Though Tian Yi used to have no interest in anything, ever since Feixiang his feelings had started slowly spreading to the things around him. Tian Yi could no longer suppress his curiosity and stopped her before she left for her day of surveillance.
Ni Ni what are you doing? Why are you so interested in them?
[Just trying to figure out their intentions] Ni Ni gave him a tight smile as she tried to evade his question, but he clearly didn't believe a word she said, so she sighed and decided to just tell him. It wasn't that important or special anyways.
[I'm just watching their little drama. It's entertaining to see an unrequited love. Lol especially since one of them is so obvious and the other is so oblivious. I wonder what that third prince will do once he figures out that his closest confidant is actually gay for him. I feel someone should just rush it along and reveal it to that prince. What do you think? Will the war be more important to the prince or his disgust and feeling of betrayal? Hey you could totally blackmail Tian Wu with this and get him to reveal all of their plans to you!]
Ni Ni...you're kind of mean
[Hey this could actually help Tian Wu okay! He's been stuck in this toxic relationship for so long, you're probably setting him free if you just tell the prince and break it all off between them.]
Yeah no. That's not happening.
[Whatever, I wasn't that serious about it anyways. It's just fun to watch...like a messed up drama. At the end of the day, even though Tian Wu is the biggest asshole alive, I still feel kinda bad for him. And he hasn't been a total douchebag in this life yet. Okay nobody cares.]
Tian Yi threw the conversation to the back of his mind and started running again when a soldier urgently called for him. The lack of sleep was taking a toll on all of them. Listening to the screams of the dying, the cries of the wounded, and the roars of the fighting had become the constant background hum for them all. Running past the basic infirmary was probably the worst as the stench of blood, rotting flesh and infection filled the air. It spilled into the corridor but at this point everyone's noses had become accustomed and immune to it all. This was war, there was nothing glorious or pretty about it.
Tian Yi went up to the walls and signalled at intervals for the soldiers to release the catapults or fire the cannons. Because of his weapons the casualties for their country had significantly decreased, but the enemies were hit hard. It was clear to see the despair and demoralization on the faces of their enemies but they just grit their teeth and pushed forward. Tian Yi started to get curious about what it was that they were fighting for? What was so important for them to force themselves to sacrifice an increasing amount of soldiers in war, especially since they were so clearly losing? Tian Yi called for Ni Ni and asked her to investigate the reason for the tribe's attack on the Song Nation.
Ni Ni only took a few hours to gather all of the information and returned to Tian Yi's side. She leaned against the wall as she reported her findings.
[Yo Host, There was a major drought and disaster that destroyed all of their food supplies. Everyone is starving, so they wanted to raid us for supplies.]
Tian Yi nodded in understanding and turned back to continue his preparation of the next set of weapons. Ni Ni was taken-aback by his response.
[Don't you feel sorry for them? I thought you would try to help them or something]
Everyone has problems. It's not like we can save everybody. Anyways what's the logic in beggaring our country for someone else's? That's just stupid.
[That's kind of... reasonable…]
On the other end of the barracks Song Huang looked tired from all of the logistics and background work he was doing in the army camps. He helped bring in the wounded, replenish the armoury and filled in any open space that was lacking aid. Over these few months his image started to improve in the minds of the soldiers and the people in the surrounding cities that provided the army with rations. Of course he still wasn't as well regarded as the Crown Prince but people acknowledged that he too was a capable and dependable man. The common people developed the idea that all members of the Imperial family seemed to be just and noble. It was clear that two of the Emperor's sons were putting their lives on the line for the common people.
Song Huang collapsed into the chair of the tiny private room that he used. It was the size of a closet and was so cramped that it was uncomfortable. For the prince that was used to luxury it was a huge struggle, he kept the discomfort off his face when in public. While it's true that he wanted to improve his image in the minds of the people he was even more serious about winning the war and bringing as many soldiers back home safe as possible. He may be hungry for power, but he always planned to be the same kind of ruler as his Imperial Father. Someone unbiased, focused on the needs of the people and brought their land great prosperity. He just needed to seize the chance to get there and then everything would be fine.
As Song Huang took the chance to rest his legs and catch his breath, he also tried to recharge after lacking 2 days of sleep. Sweat drenched his shirt and dripped down his forehead but he didn't have the energy to go find a cloth to wipe it off. He didn't even have the strength to wipe it off with his own sleeves. As his eyes drooped he felt a cool cloth against his forehead and it wiped down his face, cleaning the grime from the past few days. A pair of hands massaged his shoulders, his back and his legs. His muscles slowly relaxed under the perfect ministrations and he felt even more drowsy. Just before sleep completely claimed him he could see the figure of someone familiar from under his eyelashes. Tian Wu. It was always him. The only one he could trust. The only one who would never betray him.
By this time both Tian Wu and Song Huang had realized Tian Yi's role in the army. They saw him running around with designs and creating weird contraptions. They saw him hand out the contraptions to soldiers and carefully instruct them on how to use them. They saw the power of the exploding machines that were called cannons. It created a bang and exploded where it was aimed. Anything that came into contact with it exploded, many were left without intact corpses. When they all saw the effects of this godly weapon they sucked in their breaths and turned slightly pale. Though it was powerful it was also terrifying, how lucky that Tian Yi was on their side in this war.
Tian Wu didn't know how he didn't find out that Tian Yi was such a hidden expert. Though Tian Yi was isolated and ignored, it wasn't to the point that Tian Wu wouldn't know a single thing about him. Tian Wu and Song Huang decided to first deal with the war before coming up with contingency plans to guard against Tian Yi. It was finally clear why the Crown Prince and the Emperor protected him and treated him like a treasure. Song Huang was confident that he had finally unraveled the secret behind Tian Yi's identity and secret. Tian Wu wasn't so certain that the Crown Prince was with his older brother just for benefits, they had this ambiguous air around them. Tian Wu decided to ignore it, he was probably wrong anyways.
One year had passed and on New Year they received the signal that the Tribes had accepted defeat and were retreating. The entire barracks, army camp and surrounding cities were ringing with the cheers of the ecstatic citizens. Many soldiers broke out into tears knowing that they were finally going to go home and see their families. Many just fell to the ground and kissed the floor in thanks for being alive. The war had been tough on everyone, they had to deal with being tensed everyday without relief, they saw their comrades and friends die beside them. Now their tensed bodies and minds relaxed, so they wanted to hold something as they felt like they were going to float away.
News travelled fast to the capital, so the Emperor tightly held the missive in his hand relating their victory. He had schooled his expression to a steady indifference so no one noticed his hands slightly trembling. Once he announced the news everyone in court rejoiced and the Emperor closed court early to let them go celebrate. He seemingly calmly walked to the palace of his Empress, dismissing all of the servants when he entered. The Empress was facing away from him, calmly trimming a bonsai in front of her. Her figure filled his eyes and he was taken back to 25 years ago.
She faced away from him just like this, but rather than trimming bonsai she was painting. She had a relaxed and peaceful expression that he didn't want to destroy. He had just been about to walk in but he retrieved his foot and stood there at the entrance. He didn't remember how long he stood there watching her, but he never wanted to stop. Unfortunately a eunuch came to call him and broke the mood. He glared fiercely at the eunuch but it was too late. The woman had startled and turned to face him with wide eyes. She had beautiful eyes, vibrant and filled with life. He was the Crown Prince and had seen numerous inner palace schemes so he could immediately tell that she wasn't like the others. She genuinely did not realize that he was there, her eyes contained an innocence that should not belong to the inner palace.
That day he didn't get the chance to speak to her but he inquired about her and got all of her information. She was the daughter of a small minister and had entered the palace as a companion for his Imperial Mother. Whenever he had time he would sneak out to watch her. He felt ashamed of his sneaky, thief-like behavior that was unfitting of a Crown Prince, but he couldn't help himself. Every little thing he discovered about her just drew him in. Her little quirks amused him and he would chuckle from a distance, but one day she caught him. She had found a regular sparkling quartz but it brought her joy. She picked it up from the mud and slightly wiped in on the hem of the robe, but she heard a noise and almost fell into the mud, she shot up and looked around but no one was around. She sneakily checked to make sure she was alone and hid the quartz in her sleeve before trying to walk off with dignity. He was hiding on the tree across from her and couldn't hold in his laugh at her adorable behavior, and she whirled around in shock. Seeing him, her eyes brightened in anger, he was shocked. He thought maybe she didn't know his identity but when she addressed him it was clear she knew who he was.
It was official, he was in love with her. He pursued her like crazy and finally managed to woo her. The day he married her was the best day of his life, until the birth of Feixiang.
Now seeing her stand just like the way he first saw her brought a nostalgic to his face. He coughed slightly to get her attention and just like before she whirled around, but this time she knew it was him. After 20 years together they knew each other very well. Though she had slightly aged, she was just as beautiful as when he first saw her. Her eyes were just as vivid, but the innocence was replaced with a wise intelligence. Seeing him, she smiled welcomingly and strolled towards him to draw him deeper into their room. She noticed that he seemed to have mixed emotions so she brought him to their bed and sat him down. "Long-er, what happened?" The Empress was the only person allowed to call him by his personal name. "Xi-xi...Feixiang won the war, they are coming home!" The Emperor finally let go of his strong facade and let out all of his emotions.
The Empress, Fang Xi, now known as Song Xi, shed a few tears. Her lips trembled and she drew her husband tighter into her arms. They both held each other for support and comfort. Feixiang was their only child and they fiercely doted on him. The Empress held the Emperor until he fell asleep in her arms. She pulled him properly onto the bed to sleep in a better position. She traced her finger over the lines from too many frowns and too much stress. She sighed, they had both gotten old and her Long-er was tired. She hoped that maybe their Feixiang would grow up faster so that Long-er could abdicate. It would be nice if at least in their last years they would no longer have to worry about schemes and exhaust themselves with so much stress. Her Long-er was still the handsome young man with easy smiles and vigilant eyes, but the years had worn him down. Hopefully she would get to see that man again before they pass.
Back at the Barracks Tian Wu walked towards the kitchen to find some leftover rations so that Song Huang could nourish himself better. This past year without his luxuries had caused Song Huang to lose a lot of weight. He was always a fit man, but now though his muscles had grown he had also considerably slimmed down. Tian Wu didn't even realize that his own appearance was much more shocking, he was all skin and bones.
Tian Wu turned a corner and then froze in place. At the end of the corridor in front of him he saw the Crown Prince and his brother. The Crown Prince had pressed his brother against the wall and was fiercely kissing him. Though they were both disheveled and ravaged by the war, somehow they looked harmonious, like they came out of a painting. Tian Wu was so shocked that he couldn't even breathe and he just stood there like a fool. Tian Wu heard footsteps behind him so he hurriedly turned to leave back the way he came. His mind was still exploding with what he had still seen so he blindly walked back without paying attention.
He crashed into someone and when he looked up to apologize it was Song Huang. His eyes further widened with shock as that scene kept replaying in his mind, but for a moment the people in the scene changed. It was him and Song Huang. Tian Wu's face reddened in a deep blush as he tried to burn that image out of his mind. Song Huang looked at him in confusion as if to ask 'what's wrong with you?'. Song Huang turned past him and walked towards the direction Tian Wu had just escaped from. Tian Wu grabbed his hand in reflex and in panic he asked, "Where are you going?" Song Huang felt like Tian Wu was acting weird but he still replied, "I'm going to look for rations". At that moment Tian Wu knew that if Song Huang went, he would discover Tian Yi's secret, this would probably disgust him but also give him ammunition against his brother. He should let Song Huang go. But Tian Wu didn't want to do that. He felt really conflicted, however this time he decided to do what he wanted for once. "Song Huang, I already went, there aren't any rations left. Let's go find some in the city." Song Huang felt like something was slightly off but he believed that Tian Wu would never betray him so he obediently followed behind Tian Wu.
Tian Wu let out a breath of relief, however he didn't know how he was going to deal with what he just found out. He was confused, angry, jealous, fearful and a little glad. Tian Wu had hid behind that shield of hate for so long. Hate for homosexuals, but especially hate for those who had a reciprocated love. He was jealous of Tian Yi for finding something that he could probably never find in this lifetime. He was surprised that he was actually afraid for Tian Yi. Behind the lifetime of bullying and anger, the small side of him that used to sneak out to play with a sad, lonely and cute child was still there. That small side of him wanted to at least help safeguard this last secret for Tian Yi.
Tian Wu had carried the burden of a lifetime of hate and now he wanted to just set it all down. If he let it all go would he be free?