Chương 59: Chapter 59: Maximum Carnage
Aboard the airship, I relaxed as our trip to pendragon went smoothly.
"You're telling me you actually managed to build an airship here in Restia? From scratch?"
I was still mired in disbelief, despite hearing the details from Nagano. The builder of the airship herself was looking all smug as she placed her hands on her hips and showing off on the deck.
"Of course. I'm the Sacred Swordsmith. I can forge anything."
I wondered how the heck a swordsmith could forge something as different from a sword as an airship. I mean, I understood that we had some leeway with our abilities. My Summon special ability allowed me to summon weapons in addition to monsters and zombies, so there was a huge amount of flexibility and leeway granted to us in terms of what we could do with our abilities.
But for a swordsmith to craft a bloody airship…that was just ridiculous.
"I developed this airship by relying on ancient schematics and memory of how planes and airships worked in our world, then combining it with magic. So this airship runs on a fusion of helium gas in the ballons, turbofans propellors from hover seaplanes in our world and an engine that runs on mana crystals…"
"Yeah, you told me all that earlier."
"I did?" Nagano tilted her head. "Hmm. Well, let me tell you again."
I groaned inwardly at that, not at all enthusiastic to listen to Nagano Nanaka boasting about her forging achievements for the tenth time. Or was it eleven?
I had never pegged Nagano to be an engineering otaku who was obsessed with mechanical planes and vehicles. She was also calm and composed in class, and to see her bragging about her engineering achievements was…interesting, to say the least.
But after hearing her speak about how mana crystal-powered engines worked for the tenth time, my interest had dropped to boredom. Trying to remain polite, I peered into the distance from the deck and tactfully changed the topic.
"How far are we from our destination?"
"Oh, don't worry. We should only take a couple of hours at most. From the capital of Legnica, which is Havia, to Pendragon, which lies somewhere between Helsreach and Ragalon, it'll only take two hours, give and take."
"Flying really makes a whole lot of difference. Having an airship is really convenient."
"UGHHHHHHHH!"
Unfortunately, there was someone who disagreed vehemently with my remark, and expressed her protests by puking all over the deck.
"Could you please stop puking all over my airship?"
Despite the smile, Nagano's eyes were so cold I could almost feel the air around us chilling over. And it wasn't caused by the wind.
Alicia merely stared up at her, and then fell back on all fours and retched loudly. Disgusted, I turned away so that I didn't have to witness the yellow blobs dribbling down her mouth. It made me want to throw up myself.
"Why did you even bother to bring her along?" Nagano leaned over and whispered to me, exasperated. "Can she really do the job?"
"…nope."
"Huh?!"
"She's just an extra. I wanted her teammates."
Nagano sighed, trying to hold in her annoyance. "Yeah, speaking of which, I thought you recruited a party. Where's the rest of them? Why is she the only one…?"
"The rest of her party is waiting in Ragalon, remember?" I reminded the impatient swordsmith. "Her boyfriend is garrisoned in Ragalon, so we're meeting up with them there before we set off to the Pendragon Mountains."
"Right." Nagano stared at me worriedly. "Are you really, really sure they will be of any help? This girl doesn't look that strong."
"She isn't," I replied flatly. "She's actually useless. But at least I can trust her – and the rest of her party – not to backstab or betray me."
Nagano said nothing to that, having been aware of how the rest of the class abused and bullied me. Not to mention, Kobayashi's attempt to murder me when we were first transported to Restia. She and the other Iron Knights didn't seem aware of Tsukishima and the others' attempts to kill me when they find out I had survived, though.
"Don't worry. Worst case scenario, I'll take care of the dragon myself."
Nagano gave me a look. "Can you really? Even we heroes have trouble fighting dragons, so what do you think you can do?"
"My best."
"…"
Nagano turned away and shook her head.
"I really hope you aren't bragging because this will be a tough battle. Well, I suppose that you're technically a hero as well…"
The hero for demons, thanks to my alter ego of Major Tanaka. Nagano and the Iron Knights probably already knew about that, though.
"Do you have medicine for her airsickness?"
Nagano frowned. "Aoyama-kun might, but I don't. I'm not a doctor or a healer."
Regeneration wouldn't work on airsickness, unfortunately, and even if it did, I had no intention of wasting my energy casting it on the useless Alicia. After bragging so much, she was putting on quite the pathetic display, especially in front of her beloved hero.
"Well, then we'll find some way to clean up the deck after she's done with it."
"That's what the crews are for." Snapping her fingers, Nagano gestured to the air stewardess, who was on standby. Dressed in a maid uniform, she stood with impeccable discipline, waiting for Alicia to throw up while holding a mop and a pail.
I felt sorry more for the maid than for Alicia. The poor girl was forced to clean up after the mess that other people made.
"Don't worry, we're almost at Ragalon," I called out to her, but kept my distance from her and her vomit-covered self. "You'll be able to rest there."
"…and how is she going to survive the rest of the journey to Pendragon?" Nagano asked grumpily. I shrugged.
"We'll worry about it when we depart."
"You're postponing the problem!?"
"We're already dealing with the problem," I pointed out warily, trying not to look at Alicia and her stained surroundings.
"My crew is! You brought her along! Take responsibility!"
I sighed and then turned to glare at Alicia.
"If you throw up again, we'll kick you off the airship."
Alicia turned green, but she didn't throw up again for the rest of the journey. To cheer her up, I casually threw a remark at her.
"Don't worry. We'll be meeting your boyfriend soon."
"I told you not to mention him!" Alicia yelled, only to fall on fours again, her face as pale as a ghost's.
"We're not in school, remember?"
"Can you not talk about our relationship in public, please?!"
Even if I didn't, the public was pretty aware. Did you think the innkeepers and other guests wouldn't notice when you had all those…uh…sessions inside the makeshift love hotels or something? Your moans were so loud you were disturbing the other guests!
Then I realized that she really didn't know about that. Best not to tell her, then. Or she would literally die from embarrassment. Actually, maybe that would solve a lot of problems. I would very much prefer her to die so that I could wash my hands off her.
Still…
It's not like we're in the academy. Nobody here cares about that.
Nagano certainly didn't. She shared the same values as me, coming from the same world, after all. Rather, she seemed pretty invested in Alicia's romance in Alan. Typical of girls, always gossiping about other people's love troubles.
Fortunately, she was paying more attention to the fact that Alicia throwing up would dirty her precious airship than the Romeo and Juliet scenario the troubled couple were locked in at the moment. Crossing her arms, she turned away.
I shrugged.
"Then your party…"
"Right." Alicia nodded as she checked her communication device and forced herself to her feet, still wobbling. "Alan's regiment is working together with the magical knights to maintain security at the border. They're gathering intelligence on the demons."
Nagano and I exchanged glances. Alicia and the humans didn't know that we were planning to help the demons against Kobayashi, and we planned to keep it that way. Ignorance was bliss, and knowledge was power.
Best to deprive our potential enemies of such power.
Then I suddenly realized what Alicia had just said, and the image of a blue-haired girl floated to the top of my mind.
"I see. Magical knights, huh? So I'm guessing Sophia-san is there as well?"
I nodded in relief.
"That's good. Her magic would be useful. I hope."
"Of course!" Alicia proudly puffed out her ample chest. "When the three of us are together, there's nothing that can beat is! Not even a dragon…"
Bad mistake…
The moment she started bragging, the nausea struck her and she collapsed, gagging. I looked at her sympathetically, but couldn't resist a dig.
"Yet the three of you couldn't defeat a single high orc. I wonder, will you three really be all right against a dragon that's several times stronger?"
"T…that was…an accident!"
"I'm sure it was." Turning to Nagano, I sighed. "Maybe we should lock her up in the restroom. You do have a restroom aboard the airship, right?"
"…yes, I do…"
Nagano gestured to the air stewardess and whispered seveal instructions. Nodding, the air stewardess disappeared. Several moments later, a few members of the air crew appeared and lifted the flailing Alicia up, ferrying her toward the nearest restroom.
The poor girl spent the rest of the journey locked up inside the cubicle.
About an hour and a half passed before we finally reached Ragalon City. From the deck of the airship, I could see the houses surrounding the garrison. As the shadow of the titanic airship spread and engulfed the city below in darkness, the human soldiers looked up to stare at the massive hovering craft in awe.
"Isn't that…Nagano-sama's airship?!"
"This is the first time I've seen it!"
Excited murmurs ran through the soldiers as Nagano's airship descended, landing right in front of the military barracks of the regiment garrisoned there.
The soldiers then gathered around to ensure we weren't the enemies, but the moment Nagano Nanaka popped her head out over the edge of the airship, the entire platoon of soldiers fell to their knees in deference.
"Hero-sama!"
"Pardon our rudeness, Hero-sama!"
"No, no. it's my fault for arriving unannounced. Sorry, but could you put up with our intrusion for a while? Don't worry, we'll be leaving immediately. We're just here to pick up our comrades"
"Yes, Hero-sama!"
I watched Nagano in awe before glancing at the soldiers running off to comply with her requests. It must be great being a hero and everything.
If Kobayashi hadn't thrown me off the transportation spell, would I be as well-respected and well treated like the rest of the class?
Well, whatever happened had already happened. There was no use thinking about what could have been or dwelling in the past. My only path was to continue looking forward.
We descended into the hull of the ship, where a door magically folded out and transformed into a flight of stairs for us to descend.
"Great!" I cheered as I bounced down the stairs. "Seems like we've arrived!"
"Yes, we have," Nagano agreed calmly as she stepped off the stairs. "So where's the rest of your party members? Can you please gather them? I'll be waiting here in the airship, so once you've found them, bring them back here."
I gave her a mock salute. "Understood, Hero-sama!"
"Don't you start that…"
Nagano scowled. I snickered and began to approach one of the overawed soldiers, his attention still riveted on the esteemed hero.
"W…wait!"
Alicia staggered out from the top of the stairs, trying to catch up.
"Slow down a bit! I'm not feeling well, you know?!"
"I know, that's why I'm going on ahead. You wait here and rest a bit until you get better."
"N…no…ugh!"
Alicia turned pale, but she determinedly tried to pursue me. Having enough of her nonsense and utter incompetence, I waited for her to stumble toward my position before I delivered a chop to her neck, knocking her out.
Nagano stared at me in shock. "Was that really necessary?!"
"Trust me, it is."
Having read Tanaka the Wizard, I already knew what was going to come, but I didn't want to go through all that love triangle drama and carnage (shuraba) that was certain to follow. Furthermore, I didn't want to deal with accusations of plagiarism that had haunted me and got me reported, forcing me to backtrack and retcon this chapter.
It was a complete waste of time.
"Kirlia-chan, could you please bring this girl back to the airship? Get a bed ready for her. She needs some rest."
"I'll cast a spell on her to keep her asleep for the rest of the journey so that she won't be puking all over your airship," I offered. Nagano rolled her eyes.
"No need for that. And since when do you know sleeping spells?"
"The moment I became the protagonist."
"What's that supposed to mean!?"
"Nothing…"
"Um…excuse me for interrupting, Hero-sama…"
A soldier had timidly approached us while we were bantering. Judging from his chevrons, I could tell that he was a sergeant, and he seemed to be in charge of the soldiers who were running around the airship.
"…but could you please inform us of the purpose of your visit? For recording purposes, you understand…"
"Oh, I'm so sorry!"
"No, not at all! There is nothing for you to apologize for. I just need to record your visit in the log, that's all. For official bookkeeping purposes…"
"We're on a mission," I explained when Nagano deferred to me. "We're supposed to meet the rest of our group here. We're looking for a knight named Alan-san, so if you could lead us to him, it would be much appreciated."
"Huh?" the soldier tried to scratch his head, but he only succeeded in bumping his fingers against his helmet. "If you mean the captain, then he is currently resting in the barracks. Is it an urgent matter?"
"Yes, it's urgent."
I rubbed the back of my neck, and then turned to gesture at the gigantic airship.
"I'm under orders from the hero, Nagano-sama, to gather a fighting force to rescue her highness from the dragon."
"I…I see! So this is Nagano-sama's ship…and you're going to rescue her highness…"
Nodding in understanding, the sergeant straightened his back and stared at me with very serious eyes.
"In that case, I'll send someone to fetch the captain." Raising his voice, he yelled to one of the young spearman, a soldier who was barely out of his teens and most certainly fresh out of boot camp. "Randalman! Go inform the captain that Hero-sama wishes to see him! On the double! It's an urgent matter!"
"Yes, sarge!"
The young boy snapped a salute before he scurried off.
"Huh, you're not going to tell us which room he is in and let us go look for him by ourselves?" I asked, confused. The sergeant frowned, perplexed.
"Why would we do that? You're honored guests, and outsiders are not permitted to walk around freely inside the barracks. You know, for security purposes. I hope you understand. Please wait patiently for the captain."
It was clear to me that the author of Tanaka the Wizard had no idea how military barracks operated, so I stayed silent and nodded.
It took a while, but Alan and Sophia eventually appeared, flustered. I could imagine what happened…the two of them were secretly fucking each other's brains out when the aide knocked on the door, and was forced the ignomity of listening to their moans and groans. He couldn't look at either of them in the faces when he led them back here.
Furthermore, Alan and Sophia's faces were burning pretty red. As I suspected, they were doing something scandalous in his room this whole time…
At that moment…
"Alan! Sophia!"
Alicia chose that time to wake up and poked her head out of the airship, waving excitedly at the couple. Alan smiled and waved a little hesitantly, while Sophia remained as cool as ever and bowed her head slightly, her flushed face hidden beneath her hood.
"You're finally here! We've finally reunited!"
Alicia was so happy to see them that both Alan and Sophia looked away, too guilty to face their friend. Even as the blond girl bounced toward them, the handsome knight and blue-haired mage didn't meet her gaze.
"Alan? Sophia? What's wrong?"
I contemplated telling her that her best friend and boyfriend had been fucking behind her back without including her in their promised threesome, but that would put the mission in jeopardy. I needed them sharp for the rescue mission, and I wasn't in the mood to deal with relationship bullshit. Besides, ignorance was bliss.
"If you want to know, read Tanaka the Wizard."
"Huh? What's that supposed to mean? I've never heard of that."
Alicia turned to glare at me.
"It's a manga."
"Only children read manga," Sophia remarked softly. I was more surprised by the fact that manga existed in this world than Sophia actually knowing what manga was.
"That's not true." Alan cleared his throat. "I still read manga."
Both Alicia and Sophia stared at him.
"What?" Alan demanded defensively. "It's a hobby…it gives me something to do during my spare time, and some of the series I've been reading as a child still hasn't ended yet. Like this pirate crew sailing around the world for a treasure…"
"Hold it!" I shouted. "It's bad enough that I got accused of plagiarizing Tanaka the Wizard! Let's not drag other series into this!"
"Wait till someone complains about you plagiarizing The Silver Gravekeeper or Yin zhi Shoumuren," Nagano replied, leaning against the railings of her airship with her arms folded in vague disapproval.
"Can we not go down that route?"
"Um…did you call us here to discuss about plagiarism and manga?" Alan asked seriously. The guy needed to lighten up, like certain readers whose fingers were always hovering over the report button. Life wasn't always so serious.
"No, the sole purpose of our visit was a plot device to have Alicia-san stumbled upon the two of you fucking inside Alan-san's room, rage over how you two betrayed her for having sex behind her back and not including her in it despite promising that you wouldn't have sex without her, and developing into some unbelievable, cheesy love triangle drama, which becomes resolved by Alan-san using his ikemen powers to seduce Alicia-san once again."
"…huh?"
Everyone stared at me.
"Wait, what?!"
Alicia suddenly screeched and rounded on Alan and Sophia.
"The two of you…don't tell me you…again…did it behind my back?! Is that true!? Did you two have sex again behind my back without including me?!"
Alan averted his gaze guiltily and Sophia shot me a murderous gaze, but I didn't flinch. Instead I raised my hand.
"No. I was just making things up. Did you actually see it happen with your own eyes, Alicia-san? I didn't."
"Then why were you saying all these things?!" Alicia shouted, tears forming in her eyes. "You're horrible!"
The original reason was so that I could bash her for her utter stupidity when she fell for Alan's sweet words and cheesy "l love you" lies that no sane person with even an IQ of 1 would fall for. But obviously there were people butthurt about me replicating the entire scenario just to make that point and make fun of Alicia, so this whole chapter was rendered moot.
"Could we please stop wasting time and focus on the discussion at hand?" Nagano asked calmly, but I could hear the patience straining in her voice. Not to mention, she was tapping her fingers and foot restlessly.
"Yes…please do."
Alan was only too happy to change the subject and shift it away from a potential landmine. He turned to me earnestly.
"Tanaka-san, what's going on? Why are you guys here? I mean, I got the urgent message from Alicia-san, but she didn't provide the details except to excitedly tell us that this would be a very big mission."
"Well, she's not wrong."
I rubbed the bridge of my nose before adjusting my glasses. Taking a deep breath, I executed a dramatic pause before dropping a gigantic bombshell on them.
"We would like to ask you to come and slay a dragon with us."
"Huh? What?"
"Let's not waste any more time than this." I sighed and glanced at Nagano, who read my expression and nodded to give her consent. "We're running out of time. First, let's board the airship. I'll tell you along the way."
And so, we hurried up the stairs and met in the officer's mess aboard Nagano's airship to discuss the rescue mission. The moment all members were accounted for, the airship took off, with Nagano giving instructions to the crew. Both Alan and I were seated opposite each other, cups of coffee steaming on the luxurious table between us.
"We're slaying a dragon together with Nagano-sama so that we can rescue the princess? With this small party? Are you serious?"
Alan was staring at me incredulously, but I nodded earnestly.
"Yeah, I am. And as you know, we're racing against time. We need to rescue the princess before the dragon decides that he's sick of toying with her and kills her. There isn't much time left."
"But…" Alan was still mired in disbelief. "…can someone of my caliber even be of any help to Nagano-sama? She's one of the legendary heroes, you know? She's on a completely different level from the likes of us."
"That's true," I admitted. "You guys won't be of much use, to be honest. But I'm still going to bring you along anyway, just because."
"What the heck does that mean?!"
I then turned to glance at Alicia, who was standing angrily some distance away in the officer's mess. It seemed that she had fully recovered from her airsickness, for she was standing rimrod straight and folding her arms furiously. Funnily enough, we were currently inside the airship, which was swaying ever so gently like last time. I had thought she would fall sick again, but it appeared that rage was really the best cure for airsickness.
Well, I very much preferred her to be in a foul mood than spewing all over the floor and forcing the air stewardess to clean up after her.
"It means you're here to serve as witnesses to me pulling off epic stunts and to praise me like all side characters do in web novel stories with overpowered protagonists."
"I don't understand what the hell you're talking about!"
"There's no need for you to understand, other than it's the truth. The basic reason is that you guys will be necessary. Even if you just stand around getting overawed by my protagonist powers, you're already serving an important role. Actually, to be honest, I don't quite understand either. You should ask the writer of Tanaka the Wizard."
"Can you stop talking about that stupid web novel?! Alicia snapped. I held my hands up in surrender.
"Okay, okay."
"Can we talk about this seriously?" Sophia added, a trace of annoyance layering her usually calm tone. I realized that I had pulled the Tanaka the Wizard joke far too many times that it had lost all of its humor.
Fine then. If that was how they wanted to play it.
"Well, you have one important role," I quickly came up with an excuse. "I'm not a god. Neither is Nagano-san. While we're fighting the dragon, your role is to secure the princess and escape. In other words, this is not a combat mission – the primary objective is to rescue the princess, not to defeat the dragon. Even if we fail to slay the dragon, as long as the princess returns safely to Havia with us, it's our victory."
"I see." I could see Alan's expression hardening when he considered what I told him. Chewing his lip, he steeled his resolve and nodded. "Please take us with you then. We'll do our best to rescue her highness."
"Great. I appreciate it." I smiled, but continued with a slight warning. "However, it's a dangerous task, so if you want to get off when we reach the next city, I won't blame you."
"I understand!" Alan was firm. "It is our duties as knights to rescue the princess, and it's a great honor to fight alongside Hero-sama!"
"Thanks, I appreciate it."
I breathed a sigh of relief. Even though Alan didn't seem confident, he had a pivotal role to play. We needed him to serve as the vanguard to engage the dragon in front while Nagano and I casted magic from the back.
Of course, that was the worst-case scenario if I was forced to rely him for combat. I doubted the trio would actually be useful if we were forced to fight the dragon, but I didn't want to lower morale before we even started the mission.
"Um…"
Sophia spoke up uncertainly. She was dressed in that familiar magician cloak and hood that covered her head.
"If Alan is going, then I would like to assist as well."
"Your help will be much appreciated, everyone."
This time, it was Nagano who spoke up. As a hero, her words were more inspiring and powerful than mine.
"We'll be in Pendragon within the hour. I suggest you get as much rest as you can."
I rose from my seat, and was about to head to a more comfortable place where I could lie down and rest. In the distance, I could see Alicia approaching Alan, doubt covering her face.
"Alan…about what Tanaka said, it's not true, is it?"
"…huh?"
"About you and Sophia doing…it…behind my back."
"Of course not!" Alan assured her. "I would never cheat on you, Alicia!"
"…really?"
"Yeah! Please believe me!" Alan knelt on one knee as he held her hand. "I'm even leaving everything behind to participate in this mission with you, Alicia!"
What the fuck? Bullshit! You received authorization from your commander after Nagano showed up to request for your participation! You weren't leaving anything behind! If anything, a big fat promotion was waiting for you when you return!
"Ah…thank you…"
Unfortunately, Alicia was buying into all this bullshit. She was so touched that tears were sprouting from her eyes. What the fuck, man. I couldn't stand the sight of such an idiotic couple…
WHAM!
Just when I thought that, the airship shuddered when something massive and heavy slammed into it.
"Wha! What's going on!?"
Everyone was thrown off their feet from the impact. As Alicia toppled over, Alan seized the chance to catch her before she hit the ground. The air stewardess clung onto a wall while Sophia stumbled over. One of the servants who served Nagano was screaming.
"Is it an earthquake?!"
"Are you an idiot?" I rolled my eyes as I tried to get to my feet. "We're in the air, for Hedas's sake. I mean for Evelyn's sake. How can this be an earthquake?"
"What's happening!?"
Just then, the door flung open and Nagano ran into the room.
"AHHH!"
We glanced in the direction of the scream. The air stewardess was pointing fearfully outside the window, trembling violently.
"T…that is…"
"Huh!?"
At the moment, all I could see were embers and flames roiling about outside the window, scorching the air and belching smoke.
And then a gigantic draconic head appeared right outside the window, almost as large as my entire body.
Is that…possibly…the dragon? I raised my eyebrow as I watched the draconic creature screech and roar in the skies. Hmm…if it's just one of them, then maybe Nagano and I can deal with it…
"Wait, Tanaka-kun!"
As if sensing my intentions, Nagano stepped forward and stopped me, cold perspiration dripping down her face.
"It's not just that one!"
"Huh?"
Outside another window, a second draconic figure swooped past before it unleashed a gout of flames that set the mast alight.
"Over there!"
Alan had scrambled to his feet and was directing my attention to that particular window. His face was pale from fright.
Glancing around, I saw that there weren't just two dragons but an entire flock circling the beleaguered airship. Fireballs erupted from their jaws and pummeled the helpless magical transport, rocking it.
"There's so many of them!"
Wham!
Another tremendous impact sent us sprawling on the floor. Evidently one of the winged, draconic creatures had struck the airship with its scaly tail.
"Th…this is…"
As the airship struggled to limp away and place itself a distance away from its assailants, the full horror of our attackers finally came to view. It wasn't just three or four but over a dozen of these massive, draconic creatures hovering around us.
"A flock of flare wyverns!"
"You've got to be kidding me…" I moaned, annoyed that I wouldn't be able to rest at all. Bloody hell, there went my plans to catch a nap on the couch. Well, if this wasn't the dragon we were looking for, then there was no point wasting time with them.
I was going to massacre every single one of them, maximum carnage style.
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