Chương 16: " Memories"
" You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories"
-Stanislaw Jerzy Leo
We were clinched each other in a warm, comforting and soothing hug, all Machiavellian of world melted away. In that darkness, I could feel her chests rising and falling against my back, our breath in unison and our heart beating to the same rhythm. I wished that I could extend this night just so I could feel safe and secure in her hold. Her arms draped around mine bring back all the fond memories I have experienced and suppressing those reminiscences that could destroy me. The world had already given up on me yet her embrace whispered me hope so that I could stand up again and face any adversities.
Flashback
"With the legs dangled, drool dripping smoothly from the mouth, clothes disheveled and hair messy, I woke up to the sound of the door bell. I dragged my rugged body; eyes trying its best to stay awake, my trip towards the door was much thorny and tiring. I opened the door and I was left dumbfounded. She was standing there in her usual angelic aura, a white lily bouquet securely held on her left hand and a box of pizza on other, she looked cute.
I was shocked to see her, she didn't inform her visiting and luckily I had my pants on because I usually had the habit to run around in my boxer. I welcomed her and asked her to sit on those comfy sofas. I hurriedly ran up to my room, my closet was filled with sweat pants and shirts; I selected the best I could find. I chose a sweat pant that complemented the plain tee and headed downwards.
She was laughing her hearts out watching the comedy show, "Butt man." I could really live my life listening to that voice filled with verve and vigor. I sat nearby her and just kept staring at her; she turned around and gave me a smile. I didn't know what to do next so I suggested that we could watch some horror movies.
The movie was horrific and it scared the hell out of both of us but I had to maintain my pride so I pretended to be okay. We had the pizza that she brought and continue to enjoy the movie. I don't remember how we ended up cuddling."
Present
I could sense some nervousness in her movement as she clasped in my embrace. Out of nowhere she cleared her throat and asked me about my family. I frizzed on her query because no one has ever asked me about them and I had never talked about them to anyone. I was log off for a while; she seemed to sense my discomfort as she let go from my grip and turned towards me. She was okay with me not telling about my family but I could sense that sadness in her eyes. She got up and prepared to rest for the day.
I know my childhood was not that fairy tale where everything lives happily ever after; I had to somehow face the reality and share those burdens within me. I had to really reach out to someone and she was the right person to do so. Opportunity knocks once at the door and it mustn't be wasted. I held her slim wrist and pulled her towards me. I held that intense eye contact with her and held her tightly. All those memories came rushing and it was really tough to maintain a calm composure.
Memories
"I don't remember much about my childhood, I don't have any memory till I was five. I just remember being brought to a place and my name was "Jack Knight". I vaguely remember the place, initially I felt alien with them but as time went by I came to love them more. I do remember that backyard where my mother used to plant various plants and vegetables; she really liked to cook us organic vegetables. My initial stage of childhood was beautiful, I remember that rose garden where I and mother would occasionally visit so that we could pluck fresh rose for dad; red roses was his favorite and he would reward me with ice cream after giving those flowers. My dad would hug me as soon as he reach home; he was tried still then we would be out playing soccer with me till dusk.
The grass was mellow and lush and the dew stayed fresh on it. It was that time when we agreed for a picnic, at the center of the meadow there was a willow tree and beneath that tree there was a mat spread out. My dad was really excited and I could see how much he prepared for this small family time. He was a CEO of a big business empire, "Knight Enterprise" and he was never free. This small gathering meant a lot to him as it did to me. A spread of scotch eggs, fresh bread sandwich and snacks was scattered on the mat. The scenario was just too spectacular.
After that beautiful moment we were off to home, I was ecstatic and I kept talking while back home that I didn't realize an incoming truck towards us. With a loud thud, the truck hit side wing of our car and it flipped so many times. I became disorientated before even sustaining a concussion which had left me drifting out of consciousness and semi consciousness. I could taste the blood in my mouth and couldn't figure out whether my parents were okay.
I saw my dad, his eyelids fluttering and trying to maintain stability so that he could call for help. My mom on other side lay lifelessly and I crawled towards her so that I could wake her up. I was in the state of dilemma until darkness overwhelmed me.
From that day everything changed, my dad became aloof and my mom cried a lot. My father couldn't do much in his business and he was about to go bankrupt until my uncle took over the position and revived the company. Everything just kept trembling down and I felt so sad that I couldn't do anything. It was that rainy night when my dad beat my mom senselessly and he came to attack me with a kitchen knife; I lost my reasons of living that day.
My dad was drunk and he proceeded towards me with a knife, I was petrified and I couldn't do anything to stop him. I was prepared to die until someone blocked me, my mom bled profusely from her chest and she stared at me with those sad eyes. She mumbled me to stay safe and live happily and then she breathe her last breath. I was stunned and wreck, I shouted at my dad and punched him even though my small fist couldn't do much harm on him. I had lost rationality and nothing made sense to me.
My dad was startled and I could see that he was sad and mad about what happened. His brown eye changed its color and was left soul less. He ran towards his room and I was confused with his act. After some minute, I heard a gunshot and headed upwards. His black hair was scattered all over; stained with fresh crimson blood. His brown eyes were widely opened and his brown pupil still held that sadness in it. I was devastated; my reason for existence was no more."
A silvery tear escaped down my left eye, I didn't realize I was crying. That memory was buried deep within me and it was very difficult to bring it back alive. I felt a soft hand weeping away that sorrow; I opened my eyes to see Elisa comforting with every sympathy and kindness that she could provide. I held on to her and cried up all my pent up sorrow. I didn't know I felt asleep until I heard her talking something on the phone. I walked towards her and back hugged her; she let out a small scream and turned around to give me an angry face. I just smiled at her and pecked those pinkish lips. We were smitten with each other and we just loved each other until we heard a bang on the door.
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