Chương 80: A Reason to Live
Standing by the opened door, Hei NingYu curiously surveyed the room beyond, which appeared to be a well-appointed study.
During all those times that his master had dragged him through here, it wasn't like Hei NingYu could ask to stop and admire the scenery, so he had only caught glimpses of the room. But now that he had the chance, he leaned against the doorframe and leisurely examined his master's study.
It was a far cry from the small, stuffy space that Hei NingYu had been kept in.
The study was opulent yet comfortable with a homey feeling to it. Bookshelves lined a wall and thick carpet covered the floor. On one side, a cheery fire burned in the fireplace, burnishing the room with warm colors.
Sitting on a plush chair by the fire, Hei NingYu's master was going through various manuals and scrolls with an annoyed expression as he tried to find out if there was a cure for the poison his disciple had been afflicted with.
Such a useful disciple with such a convenient ability, there was no way he was going to let him die and slip through his fingers so easily!
Suddenly sensing Hei NingYu's presence, his master looked up startled, but there was no alarm on his face.
Recovering from his initial surprise, he sneered at his disciple with a mocking expression, "Do you want to be punished so badly that you came to disturb me on your own, you mongrel? Now get back to your chains or so help me, the whips and tools will be dripping with your blood again by the time I'm done with you."
Hei NingYu laughed softly in reply, utterly unbothered by the threat. The hate saturated in his dark eyes was stark and sharp, turning his gaze jagged as if it wanted to cut through the person he was looking at.
Though his master felt some unease, he still remained unafraid. After all, he already knew that not only was his disciple's cultivation below his, but his Enchantment had also clearly never worked on him till now.
But facts soon proved him wrong.
Because this time, when Hei NingYu released Enchantment, his master felt his entire body and spiritual flow being instantly paralyzed. His eyes frantically spun in his sockets as he panickily and confusedly tried to make sense of things.
This shouldn't be happening! It wasn't possible!
Hei NingYu laughed again, his hungry eyes fixed on his master as he explained in a casual tone, "My Enchantment has already developed to a much higher level than you can imagine. I only lacked sufficient spiritual energy to utilize it. So I deliberately got myself infected with that particular poison so that you would have to leave off the spirit suppressing chains or risk losing me. And how can you bear to lose such a convenient little pet beast? Thanks to your greed, I was at last able to gather sufficient power to cast Enchantment fully on you."
His master looked shocked and disbelieving at this revelation, at how his seemingly dull and unresponsive disciple had outwitted him. His skeptical gaze finally moved down to fix on the spreading marks on Hei NingYu's exposed torso.
Reading the question displayed in his master's eyes, Hei NingYu spoke, "Do you want to ask me why I let myself be poisoned despite knowing that there might be no cure?"
Then laughing carefreely, he stared at his master with an eerie light in his eyes as he answered with a smile, "It's because I don't care about living or dying. All I care about is killing you."
Having been spectating at the side all this while in his disembodied form, Chen Xiande felt his mind chilling as he heard his lover saying such words. It sounded as though the only reason Hei NingYu had been living till now was to assuage his hate by killing his master.
Casually striding over to the chair by the fireplace, Hei NingYu climbed on and straddled the paralyzed person seated in it. Then raising his hands, he wrapped his bony fingers around his master's throat without a change in his expression.
"Let's see how long it will take me to strangle you in spite of your cultivation, shall we? I imagine it will take quite a while."
As he spoke, his thin fingers slowly began tightening around his master's throat.
The eyes of Hei NingYu's master bulged out and rolled around frantically, but due to his paralysis, most of his struggles could only remain internal.
Hei NingYu remained like that, his hands squeezing mercilessly while a mild smile bent his lips. His dark eyes remained intently fixed on his master's swollen face as it slowly turned red, then blue, with veins bulging and tongue sticking out in reaction to being choked.
Chen Xiande found the whole thing horrifying to watch. Yet there was nothing else he could do but witness his lover exact his revenge.
Several days thus passed.
Despite his weak body and the constant use of his spiritual energy to sustain his Enchantment over his master, Hei NingYu did not seem tired in the least. His mental strength stayed unfaltering as he continued to impose his will on his master's mind to keep him immobilized, and his smiling expression remained the same as his hands maintained their steady pressure around his master's throat.
Meanwhile, the poisoned skin on his body had spread, growing into large patches that marred his skin with blotches of violent red and purple. But Hei NingYu remained uncaring, absorbed in staring at his slowly suffocating master who had still not died.
Outside, the skies slowly darkened as clouds gathered.
The sudden sound of falling rain pattering against the roof tiles caused Hei NingYu to startle out of his reverie and look out the window, only to see that it was pitch-black outside, the rain falling with a peaceful hush. No lightning flashed and there was no booming thunder, the absolute lack of noise lending the scene a serene calm. It was as if the whole world was sleeping peacefully.
Lulled by this tranquil sight, Hei NingYu slowly blinked his eyes, then let go of his master's now swollen throat. Looking down, he finally registered the pathetic form his tormentor was reduced to.
Hei NingYu simply sighed. "Boring."
Then grabbing the sword hanging from his master's hip, Hei NingYu unsheathed the blade and swung it down without delay, cutting off his master's head with one clean swipe. With a look of surprise still reflected in the bulging eyes, the swollen and unsightly head flew off its neck and bounced on the ground with a thump.
Hei NingYu looked at the severed head with a lost expression.
Now that his master was dead and his hatred was spent, he didn't know what to do.
He stood up from his master's beheaded body emotionlessly and walked to one of the other chairs by the fireplace. He felt that he had no more reason to keep living, so he sat down and patiently waited for the poison to claim his life.
Chen Xiande looked at the flat and hollow look in his lover's eyes, alarmed by the dreadful emptiness within them. It was like a bottomless void, completely without the will to live.
The poison under Hei NingYu's skin continued to slowly spread as he simply slumped in the chair with his eyes closed, awaiting his eventual death.
Suddenly, a silvery bell-like voice tsked in disapproval, "Such a young man, yet here you are passively welcoming the reaper. Where is your sense of youthful rebelliousness and passion, you brat?"
Hei NingYu opened his eyes to calmly look at the newly arrived person.
A silver-haired woman was perched daintily on the windowsill, a white umbrella encrusted with glittering raindrops gently twirling in her hand.
She shook her fist at him with playful anger and exclaimed, "Young men your age should be out there frolicking with their lover in the grass and forcing sweet dog food down the passersby's throats! What are you doing staying shut inside like this together with a rotting corpse?"
"…"
Deciding to treat this ridiculous woman as a hallucination in the hope that she would go away, Hei NingYu closed his eyes and leaned back once more, turning his head away from the window.
"Tch. So stubborn. You youngsters these days have no respect for your elders at all," the woman continued to tease.
Hei NingYu frowned, but determinedly ignored her.
On the other hand, Chen Xiande wanted to gape at this silver-haired woman.
Wasn't she the same woman who had been stuck with him and his junior brother back in the Black Fang base? What was she doing here so far back in the past?! Could it be that she was really that old?!
As if hearing his thoughts, the silver-haired woman introduced herself. "In case you're wondering, I'm Yue Yi, the current peak master of the Silver Moon Peak, a part of the righteous faction's Heavenly Peak Sect. You can call me Elder Yue. And no, I'm not a hallucination that'll go away, so you better face me, boy."
Sighing in defeat, Hei NingYu finally opened his eyes with resignation and turned his head towards her. "What do you want?"
Blinking her bright eyes, Elder Yue spoke, "I want world peace, but it's not going to happen yet, so let me ask you for something smaller. I want you to live."
"Why?" Hei NingYu asked brusquely.
"So rude," Elder Yue muttered while shaking her head helplessly. Then smiling at him with a kind gaze, she spoke, "You must live, because you have the potential to make the world a safer place. But if you want a better incentive, then here it is: Someday in the future, you might meet someone you think is interesting and fun enough to play and spend your life with, someone who will make you feel glad from the bottom of your heart that you lived long enough to have a chance to meet them, someone who will make your life worth living. Until then, you can work to protect this world that will one day give you your beloved."
Hei NingYu felt his heart stir.
His beloved…a person who would be his alone…
Someone who would make his life worth living, was it?
It sounded too good to be true.
Scowling, Hei NingYu asked with obvious doubt, "Why should I believe you?"
Elder Yue spread her hands and countered, "And what do you think I will gain out of lying to you?"
No matter how much he thought, Hei NingYu truly couldn't come up with an answer to that.
By her silvery hair and her words that seemed to foretell the future, he guessed that this woman was one of the seers from Silver Mist, so her predictions of the future were bound to be accurate. And the people of the Mist were famously eccentric, so her coming all the way here to the demonic faction to tell him his future was not that strange.
So did it mean that he could believe her?
In truth, it wasn't that Hei NingYu wanted to die because he couldn't bear to live. It was only that he didn't know what to keep living for. And without a crucial reason to go on, living would only bring more misery to his current broken self. That was why Hei NingYu had chosen to simply give up and die.
But if what this Elder Yue said was true, if there really was a person in his future who could make him feel grateful for continuing to exist, then Hei NingYu felt that he might indeed have a reason to live.
Even if that reason was a person he hadn't even met yet.
Sighing, Hei NingYu finally gave in. "Alright, I will try to live. If I truly do find the person you are talking about, then I will personally come and thank you. But if I find that you were lying, then I'll come to hunt for your head just like I did my master's."
Elder Yue simply laughed her tinkling laugh and agreed without hesitation. "Very well then, I wish you luck, boy!"
Then turning in Chen Xiande's direction, she continued with a twinkle in her eye, "I hope you won't forget this promise."
It almost seemed as if she were directly speaking to Chen Xiande.
Then with her umbrella in a hand, she nimbly left through the window the way she had entered.
Recovering from the shock of appearing to be directly addressed, Chen Xiande solemnly nodded towards Elder Yue's retreating back.
For giving his lover the will to live, he would truly be forever grateful to her.
Chen Xiande resolved in his heart that once he woke up, he would drag Hei NingYu with him to the Silver Moon Sect and offer his sincere thanks to Elder Yue. Without her intervention, his beloved would have long given up hope. It was only right that he personally conveyed his gratitude to her.
After Elder Yue left, Hei NingYu kept staring out the window. His eyes were deep as he gazed at the pitch black world outside through the curtain of peacefully falling rain.
A strange emotion flickered over his face.
"Everything outside is so black, with the darkness filtered through such tranquil rain… Since I don't remember what I used to be called, should I make this into my name?" Hei NingYu softly pondered aloud.
Chen Xiande felt startled. So his lover's current name was something he had decided on his own?
Looking out the window, Chen Xiande felt like he could understand.
This was the day that had changed his lover's life, so of course he would decide his name based on it. Using the characters for 'black' and 'tranquil rain' as his name was actually not bad. There were so many other, more terrible things Hei NingYu could have chosen to remember, but Chen Xiande was glad that what his lover chose to keep with him was such a peaceful scene.
Having decided on his name, Hei NingYu began thinking of his future.
First, he went to the headless corpse and retrieved the sect leader's token, which was in the form of a jade pendant hanging from his master's belt.
Hei NingYu knew that if he wanted to gain enough influence to slowly change this world that his beloved would be born into, he first needed to claim his kill in front of the other demonic practitioners and take the sect leader's seat. From there, he could start the process of unifying all the myriad demonic sects and slowly reduce the negative impact the demonic faction had on the world as a whole.
But for now, all that could wait.
Entering his master's bedroom, Hei NingYu freshened up, painstakingly removing the dirt, grime, and blood caked into his skin and hair before donning a set of plain black robes from among his master's clothes, leaving his hair unbound.
For now, he was assured that he at least looked presentable.
Then cleaning up his master's corpse by throwing it into the storage space of a spatial ring, Hei NingYu sat down by the fireplace and began going through the medical manuals that his master had been perusing earlier. After all, he still had to find a cure for the poison spreading under his skin.
All this while, Chen Xiande constantly kept watch, his gaze unwaveringly trained on his lover's form.
...
The first thing Chen Xiande noticed when he opened his eyes was the withered bloom on the bedside table.
As he remembered all the things that he had just seen in his dream, Chen Xiande quickly turned his body to look at his lover.
Hei NingYu was still sleeping peacefully, his face relaxed. Even in slumber, his lips were slightly hooked up in an unconscious smile. He looked so happy and content that Chen Xiande felt his own heart calming.
Chen Xiande raised a hand and gently stroked a finger over his lover's cheek. He would never have guessed all the things that his beloved had had to go through to get to this point, all the pain and sufferings he'd had to endure before he finally gained his freedom.
Hei NingYu's lashes lightly quivered before his eyes eased open. The first thing that came into view was his lover's worriedly frowning face.
"Little Sheep, is your passion for me so intense that you couldn't even sleep?" Hei NingYu teased while smiling, his voice still thick with drowsiness.
Hearing his playful tone and seeing the liveliness in his expression, Chen Xiande suddenly felt like something was stuck in his throat.
"NingYu…" Chen Xiande began, then trailed away. There were so many things he wanted to say, yet he couldn't find the words to express them.
Sighing and burrowing comfortably into the sheets, Hei NingYu spoke sleepily, "Little Sheep, if you want to do it now, then you'll have to top. And I hope you won't take offense if I start snoring halfway through while being plowed, because I'm really too sleepy."
Chen Xiande didn't know whether he should laugh or cry.
"NingYu, why didn't you tell me?" he suddenly burst out, unable to hold it in any longer.
Blinking slowly, Hei NingYu asked, "Huh?"
"I mean your past and about how you got your scars… Why didn't you tell me what happened to you?"
In a confused tone, Hei NingYu replied, "Little Sheep, I already told you before. It was right here in this room, in fact. Did you forget?"
Chen Xiande pressed his lips together. "What you said and what actually happened were not on the same level at all!"
Hei NingYu didn't understand what had his beloved so upset. Shrugging, he wanted to go back to sleep when Chen Xiande suddenly grabbed his wrists and pushed him onto his back. Settling himself over his uncooperative lover, Chen Xiande pressed Hei NingYu's wrists into the bed, his expression determined.
Smiling amusedly, Hei NingYu looked at his suddenly aggressive little sheep. Or should he call him a wolf now?
"Are we going to do it then?" Hei NingYu asked, lifting his long legs to wrap them around his lover's lightly muscled waist.
His mouth twitching, Chen Xiande said, "NingYu I'm trying to have a serious discussion here."
Hei NingYu sighed, then lowered his legs again. Well, whatever his beloved wanted to talk about seemed important, so he tried to push back his sleepiness and attempted to look satisfactorily solemn. "Okay, I'm listening."
"Why did you hide or gloss over so many things about your past?" Chen Xiande promptly began his interrogation.
Barely stopping himself from rolling his eyes, Hei NingYu answered, "Xiande, if you want a detailed report on my past, then I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. It's been so long that I hardly remember most of it."
Chen Xiande frowned at his blasé tone.
"You forgot?" he asked incredulously. "How can you just forget such a tragic past?!"
Hei NingYu smiled with a trace of helplessness. "Little Sheep, do you know how many hundreds of thousands of years ago it was? It would stranger if I could remember. Maybe it was somewhat grueling, but I definitely don't feel sad or bothered about it anymore."
Chen Xiande looked unconvinced.
Sighing at his frowning lover, Hei NingYu suddenly twisted his body to switch their positions. Laying his palms flat on either side of his beloved's head, Hei NingYu hovered over him, his wrists still held captive in Chen Xiande's hands.
Thinking back to the similar situation that had occurred when they'd first met, Hei NingYu chuckled at the irony. Only, his little sheep was the one who had him by the wrists now.
"Xiande, why did you suddenly gain an interest in my past? And from what you've said so far, it seems like you already know most of the details, yes?"
After hesitating for a moment, Chen Xiande nodded. "I had a dream. I-I saw how your master treated you, and how you got your scars. I saw how you killed your master and met that silver-haired Elder Yue. I watched you choose your name."
Hei NingYu furrowed his brows in thought as vague memories stirred. Yes, all that had indeed happened.
But a faint, suppressed sob soon attracted Hei NingYu's attention and drew him out of his musings. Looking down, he saw that tears had welled in Chen Xiande's eyes.
With concern filling his gaze, Hei NingYu bent down and placed a comforting and affectionate kiss on Chen Xiande's forehead. It seemed that seeing his past had distressed his lover to this degree. Now, this wouldn't do. Hei NingYu felt that he had to explain things more properly and set things straight to ease his beloved's mind.
In a soft and solemn voice, Hei NingYu began speaking, "Things fade with time, and so do memories. Little Sheep, that time is long gone. I don't remember much or care about what happened before. It's my present time with you that is far more important. Every day with you is so much fun that I'm glad I chose to live. Every moment spent with you makes my life truly worth living."
Hearing such words, Chen Xiande couldn't stop himself from crying harder. Letting go of Hei NingYu's wrists, he raised his hands to wipe away his tears, but more soon took their place.
Gathering his beloved in his arms, Hei NingYu sat back on the bed, hugging his little sheep close and patting his back.
After a while, Chen Xiande's sobs slowly quietened.
As his little sheep finally raised up his head, Hei NingYu noticed how his cheeks, nose, and eyes had turned red from crying. He felt his heart stinging. Why did his Xiande have to get this distressed over things that had happened so far back in the past?
As if reading his mind, Chen Xiande provided an answer without being asked.
"I-I'm sorry for being so unreasonable, but I hated seeing you getting hurt. I wanted to shield and protect you from everything so badly, but there was nothing I could do but watch. It was really very painful and frustrating," Chen Xiande complained miserably.
Realizing that all this was out of concern and care for him, Hei NingYu felt both warm and helpless.
So all this time, his little sheep had been distressed on his behalf?
Thinking this, Hei NingYu couldn't help but smile at his lover's obvious affection for him.
"I'm alright now, so don't feel sad about it anymore, okay?" he coaxed.
Lowering his head and resting his forehead on Hei NingYu's shoulder, Chen Xiande nodded. Yes, his lover was now safe and sound in his arms, living his life full of vigor and happiness. All that had happened, all the ways his master had hurt him, they no longer had any hold on him now.
Then recalling something, Chen Xiande lifted his head again and spoke, "NingYu, we owe Elder Yue our gratitude. We should go over to the Silver Moon Sect tomorrow and give her our thanks."
"Will that make you feel better?" Hei NingYu asked. Because truthfully, he didn't care about promises from the past, and it was not like he remembered much of it either. But if his little sheep thought it was necessary, then he would of course cooperate.
Chen Xiande nodded again in reply.
As he kept looking at Hei NingYu, Chen Xiande felt his eyes softening as they lovingly traced the smile still curling his lover's lips, his heart melting as he beheld the tenderness in his beloved's gaze.
Chen Xiande thought of how Hei NingYu had progressed from that person on that rainy day, lacking even the slightest will to live, into his current self who spent his life cheerfully bullying his sect's disciples and teasing his lover playfully, his laughter unrestrained and carefree.
Turning his face away with a blush, Chen Xiande suddenly spoke, his voice soft as a feather, "NingYu, I love you."
Hei NingYu blinked in surprise, then smiled. "I know. I love you too."
Then leaning forward to kiss his little sheep on his cute nose, Hei NingYu said, "Now how about we get some sleep before we meet this Elder Yue?"
"Okay," Chen Xiande agreed easily.
As the pair of lovers lied down again and cuddled into each other, their hearts felt finally at ease.
And despite the cold rain pouring outside, their smiles were warm and blissful.
SUY NGHĨ CỦA NGƯỜI SÁNG TẠO 
crimson_carnation
crimson_carnation Honestly, I didn't really want to separate this into two chapters at first. I wanted to finish Hei NingYu's past in one chapter and just rip it off like a bandaid. But if I'd smushed these chapters into one, then I couldn't have fit them being lovey-dovey at the end, so here it is.
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Next chapter returns to being lighthearted, I promise!
(*°▽°*)/
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