Its been years since I thought about him, that stupid greedy bastard. Why do I have to think of him now of all times?
Oh yeah that's right, Lydia's memory.... A reminder of the f@#kedup shit he made me do and justified that he was only trying to provide for his family. F@#k you old man your the reason I'm like this, the reason I wish I was never brought into this world. A world of lies, hurt and anguish.
Flashback to 12yrs ago:
"Go on Jane, wipe their minds", he instructed. I reluctantly walked up to the shaking woman and her two children huddled under each arm clinging to what little safety they had.
I stretched my hand toward her face, she flinched back from my arm. "Please don't hurt my babies", she pleaded.
"It's ok Mrs. Cordon, I won't hurt you I'm trying to help", I smiled reassuringly. "But he will if you don't let me, so please just look directly into my eyes and breathe".
She nodded and allowed me to hold her face in my small hands. I took a deep breathe and source for the memory fresh in her mind, I trembled as a wave of horrifying images flashed into my vision. I see him and Mr. Cordon struggling on the floor, he slowly reaches for a discarded knife on the floor and repeatedly stabs mr. Cordon in the neck rupturing his jugular as its contents spray violently painting the room red.
I called the memory toward me in order to consume it, to erase this pain and hurt from her my mind. As I began to consume the memory, one of my own memories surfaced. The one of my mother holding me in her arms and smiling lovingly at me, the only one I had of her of any proof that someone actually loved me. But it started to slip from my mind. I let go of Mrs. Cordon immediately calling back my memory to me.
"Are you done? " he asked. I shook my head." Why the hell not!"
"I can't uncle the price is too great, I can't lose my mom again ", I answered with a shaking voice.
" Listen to me you little piss ant, either you wipe their f@#king minds or I kill everyone. Either way I'm good".
I knew he was serious, I could see it in his cold dead green eyes. He would kill them and feel nothing, me however I would be haunted for life. I bit my lip as tears streamed down my face, turned to Mrs. Cordon and took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry mom", I whispered as I consumed her memory along with it eradicating my only experience with true love.....
End of Flashback.
I don't even know how to cry anymore....