Chương 44: May-December | Chapter Fourteen
Kyle liked to think of the next three weeks that followed as a trial run with Chaska. At first, things had been a bit difficult since Kyle and Chaska had to figure out a routine they were comfortable with, and when they did it worked well. Kyle dropped Otis off as school, and Chaska took him home with him after the school day ended and helped him with his homework. He would also give him lunch. Kyle would come to pick Otis up later in the day, and sometimes they would have dinner at Chaska's before leaving for their own place.
The dating aspect was still a bit shakey. Sometimes the two would share a kiss when Otis wasn't looking, or they would go out and take a walk together. Every Sunday, however, they made it a point to spend time with each other. Kyle noticed that Chaska wasn't keen on holding hands in public even when there was no one around. As much as it hurt he understood why. This wasn't the city. It was a small town and people talked. Kyle didn't think he would mind it if they did, but Chaska seemed to and he decided to respect that.
He would be patient. He was good at grinding and waiting for rewards to come to him. Giving Chaska time to navigate his personal feelings wouldn't bee a burden.
"Are you going to pick Otis up soon?" Kyle's mother asked from the living room. Kyle looked up from his phone before checking his watch.
"I'll leave in the next hour," he said, watching his mother hum. The old lady looked away, focusing her attention on the television as Kyle went back to reading the article on his screen. It was about four in the evening on a Tuesday, and Chaska had taken Otis home with him.
The room remained silent as Kyle scrolled through his screen. It would have made someone else uncomfortable to google for sex tips in the presence of their parent, but Kyle wasn't bothered. Being forty-two and having gone through all sorts of embarrassing situations as he tried to navigate the city in the past had made him numb to embarrassment. Well, most of it. There was something about Chaska that made the situation with him different.
Kyle sighed, dropping his phone before fixing his eyes on the clock above the main entrance. Chaska hadn't tried anything further from passionate kissing with him. The kissing was great, but Kyle was starting to get a bit anxious. He expected Chaska to do things first since he was the one with experience with men, but after not making any more passes Kyle was starting to feel he would have to be the one to instigate things.
But how?
Sure, since he'd started interacting with Chaska he'd been curious and that had led to his search history being clogged with all sorts of sexual advice. Kyle assumed it wouldn't be too different from when it was with a woman—or at least he assumed.
"What's the long look for?" Kyle blinked at the sound of his mother's voice. He looked over at her, shaking his head before running a hand through his undercut.
"Nothing," he said, looking away from her.
"Dating troubles?"
Kyle chuckled at that. He couldn't help it. His mother knew him so well.
"Something like that," he said, pushing the dining table seat back a bit so that he could turn properly. There was the sound of a rooster in the distance which means the afternoon was closing in on the evening. Kyle had to leave soon.
"Is it something you could tell me?" Kyle's mother asked, resting her chin on the hand she had on the headrest of the brown sofa.
Kyle shook his head. "No," he admitted, and with that he got up from the chair and headed towards the main door, grabbing his jacket and checking his pockets to see if he forgot anything.
"When are you two going to move in together since you're playing house?" The question made Kyle turn.
He raised a brow. "It's been three weeks ma'am."
"In my day, people moved in together as soon as they knew the one," the woman said, making Kyle roll his eyes at her.
"I'll see you at eight."
"Stay as long as you like down there, don't worry too much about me," she said as Kyle opened the front door and walked out of the bungalow. He closed the door behind him, heading to his vehicle for hoping in and starting his journey.
When he pulled up at the apartment complex where Chaska lived a smile formed on his face when he noticed the hand waving at him from Chaska's floor. Otis was at the window waving with two of Chaka's cats. Kyle waved back, before winding up the window and heading to look for a place to pack, when he walked back up the street he found Chaska holding Otis by the main entrance to the complex.
"He took a bath if that's alright," Chaska said, handing the toddler over to his father. "An accident with the cat," he clarified, and Kyle just nodded, noting that the boy was now just dressed in a big oversized shirt.
Kyle looked around, and when he noticed no one was looking he reached out to take Chaska's hand. The younger man's eyes went wide, but he didn't slap Kyle's hand away.
They headed upstairs, talking about their day as they climbed the stairs. Kyle told Chaska about the 1970s pick up truck he had somehow been asked to bring back to life. He also spoke about his mother but omitted the discussion they'd had just before he had left for Chaska's. He had considered saying it and playing it off as a joke, but with time Kyle knew what buttons would make Chaska retreat, and that was a potential one. He replayed the discussion in his head though, wondering what it would be like to move in with the man. What they had between now was nice, but his face warmed and his chest squeezed in happiness anytime he thought about waking up next to the man every day.
They settled in the living room/kitchenette. Otis was left to roam around, and Chaska started on dinner. Kyle watched him, sticking around and juggling how to bring up the two things in his head. The first was too embarrassing and the second was.... equally as embarrassing but it had nothing to do with sex.
"Do you want to grab drinks at a bar this Saturday, maybe?" Chaska's voice brought Kyle out of his thoughts of physical affection and living with him. The blond man blinked, leaning close to Chaska who was at the other side of the counter cutting vegetables for dinner.
A bar? Kyle wondered.
"Do you?" Chaska repeated, pulling Kyle fully out of his thoughts.
"Yes," Kyle said in response, turning when he heard Otis squeal from the section of the living room. Thankfully, the boy was just playing with one of the cats that were hiding under the center table.
"It's a little out of town, but they have a performer coming over, and I thought you'd be interested in seeing that." Chaska's hands had become a bit shaky, and the chops he was making were starting to get too uneven. Kyle rose a brow at him, wondering why the man seemed to be nervous all of a sudden.
"You're shaking," Kyle said, reaching out to touch the man's cheek. Chaska paused what he was doing. He dropped the knife to stare Chaska in the eyes as he nibbled on his bottom lip.
"Am I that obvious?" he asked, and Kyle shook his head, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Chaska's emotions were always written on his face, but they were hard to interpret.
"Do you know what a drag queen is?" Chaska asked after a while, and Kyle nodded, remembering seeing a few when he was in the main city. Was that the type of show Chaska wanted him to watch? It seemed like it would be fun.
"What do you think of them?" Chaska probed, and Kyle shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't have much of an opinion on them. I only ever saw them. I haven't gone to a show or anything," Kyle said, recalling the men in extravagant makeup and dresses. Chaska stayed quiet for a little too long, and Kyle started to panic, wondering if he had said something he wasn't supposed to.
"What's the matter?" Kyle asked. "Did I say something wrong?"
"No, it's just..." Chaska trailed, narrowing his eyes. "I keep thinking you'll call quits soon. You're not gay, and I'm wondering what will push your repulsion button," Chaska admitted, pushing back a strand of his hair. "I wasn't sure if you were going to be okay with drag queens. I wondered if they were too sissy-like for you."
Kyle's eyes went wide. He was sure Chaska had just said a slur, but he didn't look fazed by it.
"Why would you think I would be?" Kyle asked and Chaska shrugged his shoulders, leaning off the counter before grabbing the bowl and strolling to the other side of the kitchenette.
"I don't know. I've come to expect that from people," he said, backing Kyle. "Maybe you're not like that, but lots of people are," he continued, turning to face Kyle. Chaska's expression had changed, there was something in his eyes that Kyle couldn't quite read. There seemed to be a storm of emotions behind his brown pupils that one couldn't possibly pin down in words.
"You know, I wonder if you'll change your mind. I wonder if you'll realize being like me isn't worth it playing house," Chaska said as he walked over to Kyle. He stopped right in front of the blond before placing his palms over the man's chest. Kyle looked down at the man's hands before he reached to cover them with his own—his light skin pressed over Chaska's darker one. Kyle touched the Chaska's knuckles as he felt his mind fill up with questions. He knew Chaska wasn't passing judgment on him. He knew the man's words were charged from bad experiences with other men and his parents, but they stung either way.
"I won't leave you," Kyle said and Chaska sighed, a small smile forming on his face as he shook his head.
"You don't know that," he said before he took his hands away from Kyle and walked past him.
Kyle stood frozen in place. Chaka's words had cut like a sharp blade. The man might as well have told him he didn't believe Kyle truly loved him.
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