Chương 49: Let Me In
It was frosty, but comfortably enough, ambiance outside.
The night breeze was able to strike short prickles on the bare skin but it felt lighter with please when the bareness was covered with enough thick apparel. Those who were young, and had the slot still in the mind that pleasure of life is existent whenever people desired to find it, would take a gentle walk through the pathway after leaving the workplace.
I was young, I was aware, but circumstance didn't suit me. It never had.
"Y/N-ssi," I nodded to the person as he hunched a bit with his posture and directed his hand toward the way I should follow to the parking section. Taehyung yawned standing nearby, His standing ethereality corresponded to a Grevin wax statue. His riveting eyes fixed onto an unknown beyond, appearing as dark as the hazy blackness around a streetlight, with a white slit of sheen in a corner. When they came back to the existing world for a time, he glanced at me, a resting, nonchalant smile on his face.
"Hello, V." I greeted him. He didn't, "Is Jimin gonna take too long?"
"He is coming."
"This brat is late everywhere. Others left already. And only I gotta share the same ride with him, God!" He sighed lowly. Jimin emerged through the doorway soon, greeting both of us with a short smile, "Hey guys! Sorry, it took a minute."
"An hour, buddy. Hour..." Taehyung rolled his eyes and hopped inside the car. Jimin followed afterward and looked at me, "C'mon."
After all settled in, the car rushed to the main street.
Taehyung sprawled onto the seat and plucked out his headset, plunging into his own symphonic world as his eyes slowly started to droop to a compulsive half-sleepiness. Jimin had excused the driver and took the job on himself, so he seated onto the driver's. The cacophony turmoiling outside was cut off by the closed windows leaving to a diluted silence inside. It was comfortable.
"The company doesn't yet know about me staying at you guys' place," I said, "Are you not gonna tell about this?"
Jimin's eyes were fixed onto the street, he left a quick glimpse at me, "It's better, if we don't yet. I don't think they will agree with the decision of keeping you at our place. We have to be alert about other a few matters too," He twirled the steering wheel, "Especially the paparazzis. They can be anywhere."
"I think it would've been better if we just reached out to the police," I said in an innocent voice, noticing the small yet noticeable wariness sailing on his face at my words, "How long can I stay at your place either? Plus, if someone is after me for a specific reason, it can bring about any harm to y'all too."
"Y/N." He halted me, "Don't sweat yourself on this too much. We'll take care of it on your behalf, soon. And informing the police at the station would do nothing better anyways. They'll probably write down another case and give you one or two men for protection, and they'll roam around you for some while not even knowing what to do."
"Still don't like the police? Gosh..." I sighed lowly, "then mind me telling how you are gonna take care of this? Hmm?"
"I...Hyungs have sources...Jin Hyung has a distant relative, he works in a high post in the police department. He said he'll be helping in this. It's better than that way, right?"
Damn that was a quick thought out excuse. I mouthed a small inaudible "okay" at him.
"Tae," He looked back softly at the male, "Sleep if you are too tired, you don't gotta try to stay awake. It's gonna take some while to reach too, so."
Taehyung smiled back in reply and curled himself to a smaller cluster, letting his eyes to stay closed for longer time.
It was silent again for some time. I remembered when there used to be a time when all it prevailed was some awkwardness around him, and how silence used to provoke the sensation. But now it didn't feel like that anymore, and it was I who wanted to talk, wanted to hear his voice again. There was something about it, his voice, delicately delight yet had the quite manliness that was supposed to be there, which made you having a drive to have him on radio in a loop so that you could hear him parroting all day.
"I've noticed this one thing before." I started to converse again to kill the time, "Random question, if you don't mind. You and he," I eyed the male in the back, "seem to be close, than the rest."
"Yeah. We are, but we weren't that close before. He and I used to be in the same school. Even though we didn't talk a lot during the time at first, I saw him around quite often, with his friends. That's why I knew him from the first. After when we became trainees, we were officially friends with each other."
"I heard about you dropping out of school, after..." I paused, not sure if I should bring in the situation.
"My father died," he finished my sentence, "I had. I couldn't concentrate on studies. My uncle supported me a lot. He had told me to start everything over but...I couldn't erase everything off my mind. It was...hard for me..." He gulped onto his throat unconsciously taking a pause.
"The same scene would keep haunting my memories. Scenes tend to get blurrier with the passage of time, but mine rose to be sharper. I started to remember every scab, every scar on the skin, and ways how to grow them deeper..." His eyes narrowed with his thoughts and fantasies. I gently tugged his arms.
"A-anyways," He fluttered his eyes coming back to senses.
"Then the agency found you?"
"I passed the audition. Despite that, I didn't know if I even wanted to start this journey of an idol, all that mounts of training if I even was capable of all of this. If I deserved any of this. I remember word by word of what my uncle had said back then- "I won't stop you from what you want. But striding around in a ruckus with one indefinite goal of avenging the death of your father may one day give you what you want. But after that journey ends, you'll be back to what you are. And the world you'll see will have sped up too fast leaving you behind-" He paused to take a short breath.
"So," continued he, "Become the "yourself" inside you first."
"Your uncle is a man of wise words." I stated. He tittered at my reply. It was the first time he was talking this freely with me, that left me somewhat surprised.
"He is. He is like my second father. He had left me to think. I locked myself in my darkroom and thought. When I came out, I knew what I should do. The next day, I was in my first practice as a trainee."
"And Taehyung," He glanced affectionately at the boy in the back, "He was the best friend one could ever imagine about. When I saw him back at the school, with those brats, I took him to be one looney too. Some of them were my bullies back then. Tenderly inside, I despised him. But when we first talked, I was shocked."
"Well," I laughed, "When I first saw him, I thought he was intimidating."
"A lot tell that about him in their first impression. But he is not." I nodded at that.
"He supported me a lot. I don't know if I would have been able to continue if I didn't have him back when I started. Other hyungs are friendly too, but he's the only one same-aged with me, it was easier to talk most freely with him."
"Am I talking too much? What about you, Y/N?" I looked up at him as he said, "Coming to realize, I actually don't know a lot about you."
"Me? Ahh, I don't really have a lot in my book." I reclined on the seat lazily.
"How can that be? Tell me about your...siblings?"
"I was the only child."
"Your father."
"I never saw him."
"Ow...I guess- if you wanna say about it-" He halted with leaving a black space. I shrugged, "I don't know. My mom never talked about him. And it's fine, don't be sad for me or something. I was fine growing up without a dad, since I never saw him."
"I see. Your friends?"
"My friends..." I blinked once, my neck subconsciously tilted to the left to see afar the window at the blurry greens and ashy yellow-toned asphalt of the road, with the short memories marching rails. He roved his eyes to me, "Nostalgia hitting?"
"I, uh...we are not in touch anymore."
"You went off with my question. Did something conjure up to you? Something, bad memories-" His eyebrow pulled up in an arch, "in linkage?"
I snorted, "Since when are you able to read me?"
"It's been long. You are readable, an open book."
"You are not."
"I have let myself enough out to you for you to read me." I sidelong glanced at his side profile. His jawline faced me in a knife-sharp curve, and his flawless skin whitish under the monotone light. I only saw the corner of his eyes, the road took his attention, his only window of emotion away from being seen. An unknown smile crept on me, my eyes widened simultaneously to wipe it out in an "okay" expression.
"If you are not comfortable, you don't have to talk about this."
For once, I wanted to let it all out. Maybe for once, I just wanted to talk freely without caring the words leaving, stories being shared. But was Jimin fit for it?
"I wasn't much of a social butterfly back then when I was young," I started to blabble it out, finding myself comfortable enough with him, "I hated crowds. I hated attention. I didn't know how to start a conversation."
My shoulder slumped with leaning backward against the seat as my tongue cruised with well being of words unequivocally leaving my mouth, "That was the cork in my every situation. My mom was often transferred because of her job, and I can't recall how many times I had to change schools. Even though, during the early high school period, I ended up with a bunch of friends. More than I thought my mind was able to count. And they all, cared for me. Especially one, Anna." The smile was rather sad with the bringing back on me, "She was my best friend."
"What did happen after then, that made you guys split up?"
"How did you know something had happened afterward?" I gave him a shocked look. He shrugged, "Well, it's obvious by your tone, how you started your narration and then how the progression took place and all. A typical way to unfold a story."
I lightly punched his arms, "Stop acting like a know-it-all. I didn't say a word when you were talking."
"Did I forbid?" I rolled my eyes as he winked. Taehyung fiddled in the back with small whimpers in his deep sleep. We both looked at him for a while.
"So, what happened then?"
"I ain't telling anymore."
"Oops." He bit his tongue. I sighed slowly and looked out the window, "Anna's sister, Fiona, they were identical twins. Minnie, Yuqi, and I alongside Renee, were a troop. Fiona didn't like me a lot, for some reason. But we all got along so well that even though I knew, it didn't matter to me a lot. After one incident, everything changed..."
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