Chương 32: Ch 32 Omega
A domestic! I could have laughed. Sheep didn't disappoint me.
I didn't wait, especially since I knew roughly what he was going to say and had given some thought to how to handle his ignorance. It was one reason I had made sure the shy one wouldn't bolt.
I lunged across the fire, knowing he wouldn't expect it. The force of my body slamming into his moved both of us away from Lone Wolf. I kept myself human, completely human. I soon had Sheep pinned where he couldn't move.
Sheep needed to have his alpha's hold over him broken. He needed to be overpowered by the authority of another alpha, or he would never be able to stand up to the warped alpha who controlled him. Most of all, he really needed to understand the driving dynamics of his city pack.
Sheep shifted under me. If he thought I hadn't fought this way then he was crazy. I don't know how many times as a kid, especially when we fought during my early teen years, dad had me pinned no matter how I shifted. I learned.
I put leverage on his legs so they would feel the pressure and the tension. Wolf legs can only move certain ways. The way I had him pinned I could easily push a leg out of joint. I wasn't aiming for breaking bones but I could if it came down to it.
I had one arm wrapped around his head, effectively muzzling him. My knees squeezed his midriff below his rib cage making it hard for him to breathe. He shifted back to human, back to wolf, back to human. I adjusted my hold with every shift. He became wolf once more. I stayed human throughout. He couldn't escape me. When he realized this, he held still, growling. He was breathing hard, more from anger than exertion.
"If you're ready to listen? I asked you what an omega is. What wolf needs someone to sweep the floor, do laundry, or cook?" I asked derisively. "There is no such thing as a domestic servant in a pack of wolves. And humans," I stressed, "don't have alphas, betas or omegas. So, when I ask you to tell me what an omega is, what do you suppose your answer should be?"
He shifted to man again, struggling briefly but didn't answer. I knew it was pride that kept him silent, even if he thought it was anger that kept him from speaking.
"Come on, it's easy. You say 'I don't know what an omega is'."
Another attempted break for freedom and more silence.
"Unless you do know? Somehow I don't think you do. And you need to! Let's try this. 'No Sir, I don't know what an omega is', or is that asking to much of you?" My sarcastic tone was designed to push his buttons.
More struggling made me laugh out loud at him. He was pissed.
"Ok, I'm going to cut you a break, before Lone Wolf decides to challenge me," I said with a voice filled with humor. Lone Wolf's spike in fear had me hoping he used a tree very soon.
"A simple yes or no answer. Do you know what it means to be an omega in a pack of natural, real, forever stuck on four legs, wolves?"
A long pause, during which I squeezed my grip around his throat just a bit tighter for a second, demanding he answer me.
"No."
Finally! Once he answered I let him go, rolling clear.
My first order of business was putting a hand on Lone Wolf's shoulder to reassure him and to urge him to take care of his business, turning him around and giving him a small shove toward the trees.
I walked around for a bit, gathering a bit more deadwood to feed to the fire. Look at me, being a domestic wolf! I had to laugh at myself.
Dad was mostly human again, sitting by the fire, looking on with pride. Most of the others were calm, waiting to see what happened next. Businessman and the shy one were the only ones who's scent was tinged with fear.
Once I had the fire built up again, I sat down and waited. Lone Wolf came and sat down next to me. He glanced once at me before raking his eyes over the gathered wolves. Calm, expectant waiting looks was all he saw, except for Businessman who looked at him with pity.
Watching Lone Wolf lower his head in defeat saddened me. Somehow despite his nervous glances toward Sheep, he managed to keep his head bowed down, finally settling in, keeping his chin against his chest. At least he was only sitting, hugging his knees against his chest and not kneeling.
It hurt me to watch Lone Wolf's defeated personality coming back to the fore after he had experienced the freedom of a wolf. It was harder to wait, giving Sheep time to act on his own. He didn't. He just stood there, silently seething. He refused to look at any of us. I had embarrassed him and in his mind, judging from Lone Wolf's reaction, shamed him.
"Well come on," I finally said gently, "no sense in freezing. Come by the fire," I said calmly.
There was no command from me, but neither did I beg him. I could tell he reacted to my words. The wolf in him still craved acceptance. The man in him thought he had been denied it. Yet here I was, offering him a place by the fire. The contradiction made him unsure of what to do, so he stood there, less angry, more confused and unsure of himself.
Lone Wolf finally stirred, looking up at me. That pernicious werewolf dared wink at me!
"Please, my lord, my alpha, I would hear your words. And my Beta, please," the big man's voice lowered to a whisper, "please my Beta," he begged, "please, please be willing to listen. I need..." he couldn't go on, silent tears falling.
Once again he played the Royal card, calling me lord for his companion's sake. Once again he meant every word he said. And he knew I would let him get away with it because of that wink!
The abuse he'd suffered under false presumptions, believing he had no choice, believing he deserved his treatment because of the lies and the terror fed to him by that sick alpha... it was all too much. The truth was waiting and his companion's stubbornness was denying him that truth.
Despite his need, Lone Wolf would not yell, scold, even mildly fuss at the young man he called Beta. This bulky, collared, muscled man abjectly begged. It sickened me.
"Will you deny him the truth of what he is?" I asked softly.
I was surprised at the tears in Sheep's eyes when he turned around. He actually tried to comfort the big man, kneeling next to him, stroking his face.
"I will hear you for his sake," he said, his voice controlled, with just a hint of anger still. And he still wouldn't look at me.
"Good enough," I said. I took a moment to shift enough to increase my sense of smell. My link with Spirit Wolf widened.
"The real wolf alpha male and female are the breeding pair of the pack. If something happens to them, someone needs to step up, which means the others need to practice dominating, or being in charge, which in turn means someone has to be dominated. The omega serves that purpose. He gets dominated by everyone, but not bullied. Do you understand the difference?"
"No."
It was spoken quietly, speaking because an answer was expected and he felt forced to, eyes focused on the fire. Lone Wolf had moved Sheep back in front of him, hugging his arms around the younger man. I think Sheep was closer to me than he wanted to be. He wouldn't look at the others either.
"If the omega gets out of line, and by that I mean acting more dominant than the others, they chew him out. If they just jump on him for no reason, they might get chewed out by the alpha or beta. It's part of the learning experience.
"If some mid level wolf isn't, let's say, using an alpha's wisdom, then that wolf gets disciplined so he learns how to dominate the pack properly. The mid-level wolf gets punished for bullying instead of disciplining the omega. Mid-level wolf learns how to be alpha-ish. Make sense?"
I watched Sheep. I could tell my words made no sense to him but he wouldn't admit it. I tried again.
"It's all about learning what to do when you become the breeding pair, the alphas of the pack. A leader who only bullies will get the pack killed. The leaders won't let those younger wolves, who are learning how to be a leader, get away with behavior that will hurt the pack."
Sheep made a slow thoughtful nod.
"Ok then. Here's an amazing thing. The omega can have a special relationship with the alpha. See, the omega isn't going to attack his leader. If it's just the two of them, the alpha can let his guard down, be himself, not be vigilant one hundred percent of the time. Same with the beta. They can actually relax and be friends with the omega. They'll keep him in his place, but might tolerate more from him than others will."
I watched him, but more I smelt him. This had long been my specialty, gauging emotions.
"You've seen this?" I asked, knowing he was comparing what I said with the human interactions he had seen.
"Yes."
I was slightly amused by his one word answers.
"That's not all an omega does. The omega is usually the one who instigates play. Among wolves, what purpose does play serve?"
"Teaches skills."
I smiled. Two words! We were working our way to a conversation.
"The omega will also break tension. He might try to play with the alpha to distract him. If a young mid-level wolf is thinking about testing his skills and the omega knows he's far from ready, the omega might distract, challenging the mid-level wolf, taking a chewing out. He'd be saving the young wolf from a beat down he isn't ready for."
That wasn't exactly how it went, but close enough. I kept my focus on Sheep. I could feel his fondness for Lone Wolf increase.
"You've seen that too?"
"Yes."
"How does the omega know the strength of the members of the pack to make that kind of call?"
Sheep was quiet for a minute.
"Because they all test their skills on him."
"Yes. Do you understand what you just said?"
He looked at me. I could tell I had thrown him back into confusion. And he had finally looked at me.
"Do you remember when I told you Lone Wolf was more wolf than your alpha? Even before he learned all he did tonight? Do you see why?"
"No."
"If you had to sum up what the omega does, how would you?"
"Breaks tension and helps with training."
"And plays," I added. It told me a lot that the first thing he said was breaks tension. "Now, what is the purpose of the training? What skills are being tested?"
He wasn't looking at me again. He knew the conclusion I was bringing him to. He couldn't bring himself to say it.
I gave him a nudge on his arm, grinning at him. He couldn't ignore me. I gave a slightly harder shove. He sighed.
"Training to be an alpha."
The words were pulled out of him. There was so much held inside of this young man. I watched him struggle with what he thought was the truth. He was being trained to lead his pack. Even if he had considered being the alpha of his pack, I don't think he considered that it might truly become a reality until he met us.
He was missing the whole point of this conversation.
"Surviving actually," I grinned. "For real wolves, it comes down to surviving and breeding. Eventually those younger wolves will grow up and try to breed, after they have learned what they need to survive. The omega is part of that process.
"Now, look at Lone Wolf and tell me what you see. No wait," I cut him off, "wrong question. What is Lone Wolf? That's the question."
"He's an omega."
"See, and that's why I would tackle you again, if I thought you needed it. Do you actually see a wolf inside a man who wasn't allowed to be a wolf? Or do you see a man, who happens to be able to be a wolf?"
He was confused again, and this time afraid of giving me the wrong answer. He knew I could defeat him. He knew I didn't need to. This is what separated me from his other alpha. I was training him, teaching him. The other alpha dominated him. I disciplined him only enough to make my point. I gave him respect and acceptance when he earned it. I didn't want to think about what that other alpha gave him.
Once I had thought that my dad was a wolf in a man's world. It was a world he could function in, be accepted in. This young wolf before me knew nothing of the world, and before tonight had known nothing of the wolf.
"He's a man," Sheep finally answered hesitantly.
"Yes! See?" I interrupted before he could add anything else. "A man, not a wolf! Where is the dignity that is due a man, the common respect for any man, unless they prove themselves unworthy? You've got a man acting like an omega wolf instead of being treated like a man."
"That's how you've been raised. Am I right? Men being treated as if they were wolves?
He didn't want to acknowledge that truth either. If he did, and I said it was wrong, he would have to admit his whole life was wrong. He wanted to defend it and didn't know how.
"What happens when they act like men instead of wolves?" I asked. "How does that alpha of yours react?"
I knew I wasn't the only one who could smell the embarrassment and shame, the fear and nervousness when he thought of his old alpha.
"Look, it's ok. Time to move forward. I know where you need to start, with everything you'll need to be a man in the world. Lone Wolf, help him get a GED."
Lone Wolf nodded. Sheep looked back and forth between us having no idea what we were talking about.
"You've never been to school, have you? No idea what a GED is?"
I looked at him, trying to keep his dignity. His pack's royal, never let outside for fear he would be harmed. He couldn't see that he was as screwed up as Lone Wolf. Or maybe he did? I shook my head, gave a little laugh.
"Man, have you missed out! No art class, no phys ed, no sports teams, no girl watching. No satisfaction when you do some project and get a good grade, no rejoicing over all those accomplishments. No frustration trying to learn something that seems impossible. No boredom," I added with a laugh.
Right now I was one of the guys like in high school. My body language, tone of my voice... yet I was so naturally wolf. I looked at him again.
The emotions were pouring out of him, seeping from under a lid that was about to blow if I managed to hit the right nerve. He didn't know how to deal with emotions. He had always been forced to squelch them. He had been dominated. He had never been himself.
I pitied him.
"Haven't you ever wanted that for yourself?" I asked. "What do you think when you hear the others in your pack talk about what their human life was like before they were bitten?"
"They aren't allowed to talk about their past."
"And why is that I wonder?"
Shame filled him. He had so much to deal with. I could see him trembling with all that bottled emotion. I stopped pushing. I didn't want him to blow here, I needed him to blow in front of his alpha, so he could face the truth and deal with it. He was so close now I knew it would happen. I put my hand on his shoulder, turning to him, giving him my undivided attention.
"Look, enough for now. You have a lot to think about."
He didn't try to remove my hand. If anything he leaned into it slightly. The look he gave me was filled with so much. Hidden pain, longing for what I spoke of, jealously over the life I've had. He was still looking for that acceptance, desperate for it. He was using Lone Wolf as a surrogate. I smiled at him.
"We can be friends, right?" I asked him gently, making the offer. I gave his shoulder a slight squeeze.
Tears welled up in him but didn't spill. He looked at me in defeat.
"Because you're the alpha and I'm you're omega," he choked out.
"No," I answered him firmly, "because we are two human guys who are close to the same age with stuff in common. As your friend, I want to make sure you understand the truth. I want to help you. I want you to live, really live."
I gave him a minute. He couldn't think outside of the pack structure he had been taught. But I had opened a door for him to accept my offer of friendship. I doubt he'd ever had a real friend.
"Look, there is a fundamental truth that almost everyone here understands. We are wolves. We are men. We are both. Man with the ability to be wolf. Wolf with the ability to be man.
"Being one does not negate the other.
"You can't treat people as wolves. You have to treat people as people. Even when I'm all wolf, I understand what it is to be man. As man, I understand what it is to be wolf. There's a balance.
"Can you not understand? An omega is a wolf, and wolves are animals. The miracle of being what we are is not being able to change form between man and beast, but being human irregardless of form!"
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