Chương 133: Lower your AT Field
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It truly was a feast! Our table was piled high with delicacies. It was like a mixture of Middle East and Indian cuisine. There were falafels and curries, kebabs and salads, crispy roasted pork and mutton, and soft beef, and lobster, shellfish, and all sorts of seafood to show off Berge being near the coast, and all sorts of fruits and pickled vegetables and cheeses. Pasta and breads. And rice! Spicy and creamy sensations overwhelmed the tongue. There were syrups poured on shaved ice, and chocolate cake for dessert. Waiters immediately ran on a gesture to place more dishes on request.
"Aah~" Elze stroked her stomach. "That was good."
Even Yae looked satisfied. It was a royal feast, a royal feast! No way would it ever be allowed to be short of food. In an all-you-can restaurant or a corporate dinner it would take a really thick face to keep ordering for more, but in the hands of royalty it would be completely unacceptable to lack anything!
She gave out an unladylike burp and blushed.
Yumina giggled. She was already used to the little quirks of her new friends. It was fine, if ever they were in Alephis Palace again, she would make sure they would not leave unsatisfied either. We were all now relaxing in after-dinner conversation over good wine.
"I need to pee."
"Dammit, Playa!" Elze hissed and palmed her face. "We didn't need to know that."
"Actually, we kind of do," said Linze. "We're also running an experiment on sobering magic right now. It's why I haven't been drinking."
"Yes, someone has to keep a clear mind to observe the results. I'm running the forced detoxification program right now."
Elze sniffed. "You guys are total killjoys. Can't you just relax? Why do you all have to feel like you have to have accomplished something every day?"
"Words like that are the reason why you're the control group, Elze," I replied, while in a pose with my fingers laced together under my nose. Then I nodded to the side "Yae is the experimental group for after-morning therapy. And of course, Yumina is too young to drink."
"I am not!" Yumina retorted hotly. While holding a glass of non-alcoholic sweet ginger ale in her hands.
"Yes you are. Whereas Elze releasing her true self would be hilarious, it would be impolitic for the Crown Princess to look like a lush."
There were different kinds of drunks - happy drunks, weeping drunks, talkative drunks, sleepy drunks, grabby drunks, fighty drunks, floppy drunks. What would be interesting to find out in one would be a disaster for another.
"Fiiine. I accept that. But… why can't [Heal] just heal drunkenness?" Yumina asked. "Isn't alcohol considered a mild poison? How interesting, you are always moving forward with medical research, Sir Zah. It's not all chickens with you all the time, fortunately."
"Yes, it's alcohol that does create the feeling of drunkenness, but what actually creates the hangover are the various chemicals that form alongside alcohol in the process of fermentation. Ethanol dissolves in water and diffuses through the bloodstream, soaking into every part of the body – including the brain.
"Alcohol is a depressant – the warming we feel when drinking is from our blood vessels dilating open, causing our skin to flush red and sweat. In actuality we lose heat. The dilation of blood vessels causes headaches.
"The chemicals so responsible for giving each drink its distinctive taste, these congeners – dissolve into toxins, and much of the discomfort felt in the hangover comes from the body trying to purge itself of poison. This is why [Heal] doesn't help but instead only increases the agony of a hangover. [Cure Poison] likewise doesn't do anything, because these diluted toxins are already in the process of being neutralized and doesn't address secondary symptoms like low blood sugar, dehydration, a lowered immune system, and irritation to the bowels."
Elze looked at her own wine glass and pushed it away. "Now you've ruined it for me!"
"This is all about being able to enjoy drinking more safely and painlessly though."
"I don't trust it! What an excuse to get blind stinking drunk! This sort of spell just encourages even more bad behavior. I won't participate in anything so wicked!"
"Oh, Elze. Elze. Elze." I leaned back on my chair and began idly tapping at the table. "Are you… chicken?"
Elze slammed her fist down on the table. "Youuuu! You of all people! You dare say THAT to me?! What are you planning with trying to get us drunk tonight? Are you trying to take advantage of-"
She paused, and turned to her sister. Linze had a perfectly serene expression on her face, as one who would not be drinking tonight.
"I'm asking the entirely wrong person about that, huh?" she murmured.
"I wouldn't mind changing observer stat-"
"NOPE. I'm not giving you an excuse." Elze sat back down and sighed. "Ehh, I suppose it's rare enough to taste these sort of things… are they really all that different to cheaper stuff? I don't get all these hoity-toity stuff and wine tastings and all…"
I raised a half-full goblet to the air and said solemnly like a priest offering Mass "Pouring wine into one's belly, that alone cannot be considered drinking wine! We who drink, drink in our emotions. We drink our thoughts, let us swallow our fears. Without emotion, all wine becomes bitter liquid, drinking to kill our true selves. The finest of wines, imbibed in solitude without joy, swiftly becomes too much. In the company of friends, a thousand drinks are too little to pass the night away. "
"Ever since antiquity, no hero has feared wine, no hero has feared to reveal their true self in the attendance of boon companions. I offer this toast to you, my friends who give my life meaning. The ancients were lonely figures, only drinkers cast their shadow onto history."
"Well said!" Yae piped up. She filled a small sauce dish with white wine, raised in it salute, and then brought the dish to her lips. She downed the wine in one quick swig, and then laid it back down to the table with a hearty thump. She had her left hand hanging from the inside of her sash like some sort of Yakuza heiress.
Her face was was slightly flushed, but the more she drank the firmer her expression. We all stared at her graceful yet decisive movements with awe. That was how samurai drank in the Far East. If alcohol unsealed one's inner self, then all the more it exposed that she was a naked beautiful blade.
Yumina stared down at her pale drink again, and scrunched her nose up like an incredibly indignant rabbit.
/"Drunkenness is so illogical. Yet I understand the value of alcohol as a social lubricant. I just don't understand why people would be so happy to get stupid."/
"Acceptance comes with the shattering of barriers. Alcohol is mankind's oldest friend, offering solace to the broken and weary alike. To the salaryman forced to drink hard in after-office revelry, I offer my sympathy. Once more I raise this cup to those who fear showing weakness. Steel yourself – and remember – there can be no bravery without madness."
"Fine! You donkey faces! You want a drinking contest?! BRING IT ON!" Elze roared.
"Awesome." I nodded. "But first I have to pee."
"GET OUUTTT."
-.
-.
I had to leave to relieve myself. I really was running a [Rapid Sobriety] spell, and of course that meant my liver was working overtime to purge toxins, and so toxins needed to come out. It gave me an excuse to leave the party and recover emotional energy in solitude before coming back.
/"Elze is right. You are doing this to take advantage of her. Even though it's to make memes about her red face when drunk rather than take liberties with her body, you should apologize later. Intentionally making her angry and disgusted, do you doubt she would hesitate to punch your head off?"/
"You enjoy seeing me so unbridled, I enjoy seeing Elze act without inhibitions. Ah, what a pair we make." Lower your AT-field, Elzevangelion!
/"Linze is still my favorite!"/ Monika laughed as she floated by like a ghost. /"You are confusing Yumina too much, how can a person be so crude one moment and so profound the next?"/
She whispered directly into my ears /"Maybe there's a person looking for an alibi that he was knocked unconscious the whole night?"/
Hahahaha.
I began humming the theme to Lupin the Third as I walked through the dark deserted hallways of the palace. It was eerie how it was completely empty, though it was good to know that the palace did have central plumbing and bathrooms after all. It was no Palace of Versailles, where for all its architectural wonders it lacked something so basic as bathrooms – and perfumed nobles in all their finery would just poop at the corners, servants hustling to and fro with chamberpots.
Hahaha. This land of beastkin was a lot more civilized than 1600s France, that was for sure!
And then suddenly I stopped.
"Oh shite," I hissed, instantly crouching and freezing in place like someone encountering a predator whose senses were triggered by motion. In the far depths of the hallway, something stared back with blank beady eyes.
Terror filled my insides. "Is that Freddy Fazbear?!"
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