Chương 8: ' You win some,you lose some.'. Chapter 8
Jungkook balled his fists in rage, body wabbling, shoulders sagged. He stretched and rubbed his thighs, hurting from running to nowhere. The man he loved..the man he dreamt of spending his life with was a bloody bastard. A cold, arrogant fool who thought the worst of him. Who had to put up with Jungkook's hideous kisses and despised him with every pore of his body.
The younger had the urge to go back to that company and beat the shit out of him! Punch and kick him till he bled. For his awful mistreatment,his lies and manipulation,his ugly thoughts about him. Rub the truth to his face, watching him..do what? Regret? Feel guilty? Change his mind about him? Fall in love with a man whore?
That was bogus!
Taehyung wouldn't change. He was straight and obviously in love with his 'sessions' and his submissive women.
Where did that leave Jungkook? In love and heartbroken. His feelings couldn't change just because he found out the reality of Taehyung's emotions. He needed time to think, process and deal with them in order to fully grasp the seriousness of the situation and figure out how to move on.
He sniffled, wiping his nose with his sleeve. His fingers dag inside his thighs, pressing and pressing hoping the pain in his heart would disappear. Suddenly it hit him!
He had no place to go. His flat was a high risk because Taehyung could come and find him and feed him more lies. He couldn't face or deal with him right now. The pain was too powerful and drained him of the strength to confront him.
His parents' house was out of the question. In his dreadful state the last thing he wanted was to explain how stuoid he was falling for a guy like Taehyung. And hear their lecture and scolding for hiding his fake engagement and his fake fiancé.
Jimin! His brother would know what to do. He quickly took out his phone and called him." It's me..can you come?" His voice trembled from pain, cold and anger.
Jimin asked nothing more." Where are you?"
" Fuck if I know!" he wanted to cry again.
" Send me a picture. I'll find you. Stay put."
They hung up and Jungkook sent him a photo of the area. Twenty minutes later, Jimin came rushing to him and observing his horrible state, he reached one conclusion. The meeting with Taehyung didn't go as his brother hoped.
He sat next to him, closing his arms around him as Jungkook hid his face in his nape and started crying his heart out.His body shook from the constant sobbing, breath hitched, hiccuping and mumbling between his cries and sniffles.
Jimin let him take it out of his chest and kept caressing his back gently and at the same time suppressing his urge to flood him with questions. When Jungkook stopped crying Jimin spoke.
" Tell me. Did you see him? Talked to him? Did he hurt you? Because if he did I'll break every bone in his pathetic body." he grunted.
Jungkook was too embarrassed to even look at him and stayed still. Finding the courage he told him everything. The whole story in detail.
Jimin felt his blood boiling, his veins bulging and about to burst, bristling at what he had heard.He managed to restrain his profound urge to scream and curse in all directions,break everything and cause chaos. Burge in that bastard's office and kick his ass,
" He played me Jimin..played with my heart..never saw me as a human.. I'm a man whore as he kept calling me..I fuck around for money..and he felt disgust with my touches Jimin..I disgust him..he hates my guts." A bitter smile painted his quivering lips." He..he actually thought about.. killing me..he said it..I was lucky he didn't put a bullet in my head.. maybe he should have from the start.."
" Don't speak like that! He should die, not you! Nothing is your fault Kook. He started it, misunderstanding your relationship with MinJoon.He could have asked instead of assuming.He thought he was your lover because he's an idiot. He doesn't care about the truth, only about his brother. His happiness." Jimin cupped his brother's cheeks." It's not your fault baby. You did everything right. You believed and loved him. He's wrong about you and one day he'll realize it." He drained his tears and fixed his hoodie.
" I'm sorry for being such a fool to believe he fell in love with me..that was my biggest mistake.."
" Hey!Never apologize for how much love you have to give. Feel sorry for those who didn't want any of it. Taehyung is the fool who can't understand how lucky he could be having you in his life."
" Will..I ever forget? Will the pain go away? Stop hurting so damn much?" He banged his heart with his fist, blocking his tears before Jimin clutched his hand, holding it.
" Give it time baby. Your heart will heal and you'll find love again." He kissed his knuckles and smiled."Let's go home."
" No. I don't want to. He knows where I live and he's gonna come for me. And I don't want to go to our parents either. Look at me.. I'm a freaking mess."
" Kook! Where will you stay?"
The younger shrugged his shoulders, sulking." I don't really care.."
Jimin had a flash,snapping his fingers."Taemin's apartment. He went to Busan to visit his parents and won't be coming back for at least two weeks. I'll take you there."
" Won't he mind?"
" I have his keys and when I explain he'll understand.Get up.. let's go. It's freezing cold out here." He shivered from the cold breeze.
Jungkook grabbed his hand, chewing his lips.
" He said something else, Jimin. He talked about sessions and control and dominance.. weird tastes in sex. And numbers..for his..women.." It exceedingly hurt thinking and talking about Taehyung and women. His mind picturing him in bed with them..having sex.
Jimin was left awestrucked, his gaze focused on nothing and stirred in his seat. He was wary of explaining to his brother what he thought and knew about this sort of stuff. Hell, he was a big boy! He couldn't protect him from the truth and it was better he knew it instead of keep hoping." I believe Taehyung is involved in.. hardcore sex..really hardcore..bdsm."
Jungkook's mouth hung open, surges of electricity swamped his body." Like choking and whipping and.."
" Most likely. Yoongi and I aren't into this but we've tried it. In the sessions there is the master and his sub.The master gives orders and the sub must obey them without questions. It was fun but you know sassy me can't follow rules."Jimin blew out making Jungkook's face scrunch.
" Yuk! No need to know info." He couldn't picture his brother tied up, Yoongi whipping his ass and the rest.
" Taehyung is into control and dominance. He gets high at having power over women. A lot of people are into this stuff."
The older was sick snd twisted getting pleasure from hurting another person. Making love is suppose to be an act of love. A sweet, tender declaration of your desire for the one you love not a form of punishment to satisfy your wicked craving for power and control. Taehyung wasn't what he had molded in his head. He was a cold-blooded, cruel , sick bastard that didn't deserve his tears or love.
Tell that to his heart, still beating for him. They belonged to different worlds.
Wanted and needed different things.
Jungkook was longing for love. Taehyung for dominance and submission.
" I'm cold.Take me to Taemin's apartment."
They left in Jimin's car and drove to his friend's house. His two bedroom apartment on the thirteen floor,was spacious and cozy with a magnificent view of a bustling park. Jungkook needed a relaxing bath to cool down but he remembered he didn't have any clothes.
" Jimin I left my things in my apartment. I've got nothing to wear."
Jimin went inside one of the bedrooms while Jungkook followed him, opened the closet, and searched around." Use these for now. Tomorrow after work I'll drop by your apartment and bring some."
Jungkook panicked." It's risky. What if he's there? What if he's watching the place and follows you?"
" I'm married to a cop. I know the drill.I promise to be cautious." Jimin eased his worries, handing him a clean towel and a pair of purple pyjamas." He hasn't used them. He sleeps naked. Don't ask me how I know it." He made a sudden move with his hands to stop his reasonable questions and showed him the bathroom." I'll make some noodles."
" I'm not hungry."
" It's not negotiable Kook. You won't starve to death for an asshole." He left for the kitchen and Jungkook walked lazily to the bathroom. He dumped his clothes on the floor, taking a good look in the mirror, supporting his hands on the sink and sighed.
He looked pitiful. Eyes tired and gloomy, dark circles under them. His puffy cheeks had shrunk and his body felt weak and depleted. He touched his right cheek and he saw it.
The ring.
The symbol of lies and deceit.
The rope around his neck, choking him.
He hurriedly took it off and threw it on the counter. It burnt his skin.
He hopped into the shower, warm springs of water hugging every inch of his skin so gently, breathing in the aroma of the coconut bubble bath. He cracked down on the desire to burst into tears and got out, wiping his body with the towel and then put on the pyjamas.
In the kitchen the smell of noodles produced a stir in his stomach. He wasn't hungry. He simply wanted to get drunk, go to oblivion and not think or feel. Warily he sat on the chair, legs folded and stared at his bowl.
" Eat." Jimin ordered pushing the bowl towards his brother and giving him the chopsticks.
" Why do you insist?" Jungkook protested indifferently." Give me some booze."
Jimin tapped his fingers on the wooden table across him." No drinks on an empty stomach. Eat your food."
Jungkook huffed in annoyance and slowly began slurping his noodles. " Happy now?" he blew at his brother after having finished his food.
" Yes. Thank you." He picked up the bowl, took it to the sink and came back." I'm staying here tonight."
" I want to be alone, Jimin."
" No way I'm gonna leave you alone. I'm staying."Jimin was scared for him. Thinking he might do something stupid.
" What will you say to Yoongi? Our parents?"
" I'll find an excuse."
" They'll get suspicious. Staying with me all of a sudden. Papa might even come to my apartment looking for us. What will happen when they won't find us? I've caused enough trouble as it is. Don't need you lying for me." Jungkook explained hoping to convince his brother to go away.
Jimin frowned, scratching his neck." Will you be ok?"
" Yeah..go.."he urged him, showing him the door,wanting to be alone and cry his heart out in peace.
Jimin reluctantly agreed and kissing his brother goodbye he left. Jungkook, alone in someone else's empty apartment,bent his knees on the chair hugging them,pondered over today's events.
His life ,a pile of scattered dreams and crushed hopes. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined he would fall in love with the wrong person. His Mr Right turned out Mr WRONG in capitals. That's real life. Not a romantic novel with a happy ending!
No matter the pain you're experiencing, the person who broke your heart doesn't regret it. They have moved on while you're stuck suffering in silence. Taehyung never cared about his pain after his betrayal simply because it isn't his problem. Jungkook thought he was different but in fact he was worse than expected. Selfish and calculating, using him till he no longer had any need of him. His objective goal was succeeded and his brother's happiness was achieved.
What if he hurt him in the process? What if he tore his heart? Making him fall in love with a man he could never actually have? Taehyung wasn't the man of his dreams but of his nightmares.
He wanted..No needed to cry but his tears were dry. And what was the point? It wouldn't change a damn thing! He needed a distraction, something to keep his mind busy from thinking.
Cleaning. The best way to drain off his energy was to clean the apartment. Taemin's relationship with tidiness was nonexistent. So he dusted the furniture, swelt and mopped the floors, cleaned the whole kitchen and scrubbed the bathroom but it wasn't enough. Physically he wasn't tired at all. Mentally he was a wreck!
He checked the time on his phone and noticed the four missed calls and six messages. Taehyung was looking for him to feed him more lies! More deception. More fake love. He blocked him. Just like that! Toiling his feet to the second bedroom, he crawled to bed, curling up as a ball under the covers. Jungkook wanted to sleep and wake up seven months ago telling his brother to take his stupid,childish proposal and shove it up his ass!
That bloody night ruined his life!
In the rear of twisting and turning in bed for two hours, chuffing and puffing he finally dozed off.
Jungkook naked and gagged, body stretched, hands and legs tied to the corner of a gigantic bed, was struggling to break free. His whimpers and shouts muffled from the gag in his mouth, strings of saliva dripping from his mouth and his tears had dried.
His senses were ruthlessly attacked by a huge,thick, dildo vibrator, hammering his hole , hitting a specific spot inside him that produced profound relish and uncontrollable trembling. Both nipples numbed at the intense squeezing of the clamps attached to them.
Feeling helpless he stared at the ceiling , blinking his eyes,determined to reject the euphoria smearing his body and the realization he was hard.. extremely hard.
In haze the voice in the background awakened him, slightly lifting up and turning his head around to find its origin.
In the dimness of the room his eyes spotted a tall, naked, muscular man walking slowly to him. A flogger in his left hand and his hard-on bouncing up and down as he walked, leaving trails of precum on his path.
" You're enjoying it ,whore." the voice mocked him and as he was coming closer to the light, Jungkook could see his face.
Taehyung.
" I won't make it easy for you.. you'll beg and scream and bleed before cumming.." He climbed up the bed between Jungkook's spread legs and his thumb stroke the tip of his cockhead ,then pressed it,making the younger hiss and flinch from the unknown sensation. He arched his body, tossing his head left and right at the savage slapping of his cock and balls as tears reappeared. Such a pleasurable torture!
" You're becoming harder and harder whore..you won't last long.. you'll be begging your master to let you cum.." Taehyung knew the power he held over this boy and was using his weakness to humiliate and torment him." I love how the dildo is crashing your hole. So wet and sloppy.. yearning to be fucked.." Two fingers grazed the twitching hole, circling around the big dildo as Jungkook's body panged to the touch.
Taehyung 's face darkened at the response and squeezed the flogger in his hand ,licking his lips as his gaze trailed between Jungkook and the object.
The bed shook at the constant lashing of the flogger on the mattress.
The younger winced and tried to pull back but the handcuffs wouldn't let him. Taehyung 's hand grabbed the pulsating cock giving twisting strokes from the base to the tip, pumping it up and down, squeezing the slit with his thumb, stopping and pumping again, increasing the speed and feeling his body trembling from the desire to cum.
He sneered and abruptly let go, watching Jungkook's glistering chest panting heavily, muffled whimpers trying to escape his drooling mouth and the dildo abusing his hole. A tantalizing experience for the younger, draining him of the strength to resist, fogging his brain.
Jungkook, powerless and feeble to the constant bombing of his body and senses and his dirty talking,made one last attempt to resist, shaking his head, forcefully pulling his hands and legs to escape ,despite the pain from the handcuffs on his wrists and ankles,knowing it was impossible.
That heartening bliss swarming him, aggravated his state of mind but offered an odd, twisted satisfaction to his heart and soul. It wasn't the fear of being at his mercy that terrified him but the fact that he was craving for it. He enjoyed the torture and pain Taehyung was giving him. He wanted more. Needed more.
He wanted to cum.Give him what he desired.
For Taehyung..for master..his master in every way possible…
____
He abruptly woke up, disoriented,covered in sticky sweat, his heart pounding, chest throbbing, quivering and clasping onto the quilt lime his life depended on it. Looking around he realized where he was and sucked in a few sharp breaths.
Taemin's apartment.
He was safe.
" Oh God! Oh God!" he mumbled squeezing the covers. The nightmare gave him chills. It seemed so real. Intense and feverish. Scary but..but what?
He took one glance under the quilt to grasp he was..hard.. painfully hard and that alone petrified him to the core. How could he possibly find pleasure in such pervert acts? Tied up and tortured? He feared the dream had a hidden meaning. That somewhere in his subconscious he liked the idea of being submissive and controlled by him. It satisfied a wicked part of him..
He hugged and cradled himself, shivers rushing down his spine at the realization of his thoughts.It couldn't be that…
It was simple. The things he learnt about Taehyung, the conversation he had with his brother, had affected and messed up his mind. He laid back, holding the covers tightly to his chest, he closed his eyes to get some sleep, determined not to let that foolish nightmare affect him. He ignored his painful arousal, refusing to allow that bastard to control his mind. Even in his sleep.
Unfortunately, the nightmares continued with the same ferocity and intensity until fed up he decided to quit trying to sleep! He couldn't eat, work,or study, think straight.Now he couldn't sleep either.
He growled through clenched teeth.
That asshole was taking everything from him.
As days passed,Jungkook was weeping and crying, grieving for his lost love, wondering what went wrong, what he had done to deserve such pain, angry at himself and Taehyung and the whole world, he came to the painful conclusion that no matter his feelings the situation wouldn't change.
So he pretended Taehyung didn't exist. He stubbornly refused to think about him, say his name and he continued his life. When he found the strength to see his parents and the certainty he wouldn't break down in front of them he went back home.
He was very careful when going to his university, checking for any suspicious cars following him. Going to work was much more carefree and easy because he hadn't told ' him' where he worked.
A month later, Jungkook was on a dating spree! He had gone out with seven men. All approved by his dad and hyung. Despite their obvious and undeniable qualities Kook simply pointed out their flaws.
Too tall. Too short. Too aggressive. Too clingy.Too indecisive.Too skimpy…and the list went on and on! They weren't given the chance of a second date as Kook's judgment was clearly affected by…that asshole. His last date turned out to be a complete disaster. Bored to death, nearly falling asleep on the table,suffering from a splitting headache from the constant rumbling, he found a lame excuse and dumped him on the spot.
No more dates for him. At least till he got over his love for' him' and found a good man to restore his faith in men.
The nightmares remained with more intensity than before and he was now experiencing the stages of break up from the beginning. He was too tired mentally and physically.
Jimin offered him comfort and a shoulder to cry on. Jin knew something was troubling his son but for the first time in his life he avoided asking questions and pressuring him.
____
Taehyung was restless..inside. Following the conversation with Hobi he spent an hour contemplating whether he should go to Jungkook or not. He called him a couple of times but didn't get an answer so he texted him. No reply.
On the edge of his seat, he bulged up heading to his apartment. Knocking on his door repeatedly Jungkook was nowhere to be found. He returned to his car and waited all night. Unfortunately Jungkook didn't come home.
Millions of disturbing thoughts crossed his mind, one worse than the other, especially after trying to call him he realized he was blocked. Jungkook had blocked his number. Not a hopeful sign!
Was he out of the country? Did he travel to Paris to find MinJoon? Beg for him to take him back? Accept him again? Was his brother's happiness at risk? Got tired of waiting for his return and moved on? Or had he found someone new during his absence? Richer and more handsome than him? And why would he mind if that boy had found a new victim? Why did he care who fucked Jungkook?
" No! Fuck no! I won't let you fuck my mind! You're nobody, Jungkook! You don't matter to me! You have no authority and power over me!" he cursed, smashing his hands on the dashboard. Tossing his head on the head rest, sighing heavily.
His body was on fire! Blazing, sweltering lava of desire and menace tormented him.
Jungkook's image in the arms of another man, touching his body, kissing him, fucking him generated an indescribable feeling of despair and rage and aggravation. Taehyung had never had these types of thoughts for any woman let alone a..man. Specifically that man.
He was a master.
His subs was all he needed.
Yet, somehow he was losing control, catching himself being sucked by a powerful force of insufferable longing and yearning. Jungkook had messed up his mind completely. But his imperious and obnoxious character stubbornly refused to admit it.
The hell with him!
Taehyung didn't need him.
It was good he finally got rid of that man whore.
So he drove off straight to his company. Enough with the bullshit.
However sometimes your will is too powerless and impels you to act out of character. That was Taehyung's case. Every single day and night he camped outside his apartment waiting. Hoping? Taehyung was mad at himself. Each time he left that building he would swear he wouldn't return and each time he was proven wrong.
MinJoon and his brother had come back from Paris, planning their wedding. Hyunjin didn't mention any unexpected encounter during their trip and MinJoon hadn't acted weird either, receiving strange calls or texts.
The possibility of Jungkook in Paris was dismissed but the question remained.
Where was he? Where the hell had he gone?
Eventually, he decided to pull himself together and go back to being the usual cold, tough, dour,control freak everyone loved to hate!
His first attempt to have one of his 'sessions' in Seoul was a big, fat failure. Not only was he unable to get it up, even at the sight of his toys and two very eager subs but his obsession went further, calling Jungkook 's name out loud in front of them and seeing him on both of their faces.
Needless to say, he kicked them out and spent his night laying between his toys, jacking off and screaming Jungkook 's name , hallucinating, imagining he was there in the flesh when reaching his highs.
____
One Saturday afternoon Jungkook decided to go to his apartment and pick up the rest of his stuff since he had already moved back home. Freedom and independence were valuable to him but under the circumstances risking to meet 'him' was a situation he refused to handle.
Jimin offered to go with him and Jungkook turned him down. It was something he had to do alone. Holding his key card and just as he was about to open the door, a hand grabbed his wrist, swifting him.
Jungkook held his breath the moment he realized the person in front of him. The same one he was so desperately trying to erase from his memory and heart.
Taehyung.
Although his heart was pounding and his body went numb to the burning touch, he stayed still with a serene expression on his tired face.
" Hello Taehyung."
The older was taken aback and narrowed his brows at the unexpected calm and rather suspicious behaviour. He was expecting a much warmer approach like falling into his arms and smothering him in kisses.
" Is that all you have to say?"
Jungkook removed the man's hand from his arm, opened the door and signaled him to come in. Seeing him wasn't what he wanted but nevertheless needed closure. Needed to sort out the situation and move on.
" Would you like to come in?" He stepped aside, giving him space and Taehyung walked in, shutting the door behind him, moving to the small living room.
" Where the hell have you been? I've tried calling and texting you but you blocked me. I spent hours outside your building waiting, worried sick about you." His strong hands gripped his arms, shaking him.
'Fucken bastard! Asshole! Still pretending you care.' Jungkook thought in rage and cropped up his head pinning him with his gaze. For a brief moment, too brief, he actually thought he detected genuine concern in his dark, ocean eyes. Who was he fooling? It was an act! Trying to ensure his brother's happiness. The conversation with his friend roaming his mind.
" If you get your hands off me I will gladly answer your questions." Kook blatantly replied and Taehyung let him go.
" Jungkook explain yourself." he demanded sternly and Jungkook was barely holding himself from punching his face, watching him bleed.
" Can I offer you some tea? I'm afraid I don't have anything stronger." he politely asked, faking a smile. Taehyung had already taken off his grey jacket, loosen up his tie and unbuttoned the two first buttons of his white shirt. He seemed agitated in a way.
The younger could now see right through him. The rage and anger in his eyes. The tension in his body in his presence. He once thought it was from the passion he had for him. Now he knew it was from the disgust he felt every time he was next to him.
" I want answers, Jungkook." His straightforward demand and his deep, hoarse voice impelled the younger to return his response in the same tone.
" Very well..I need a cup of tea. Sit and I'll be right back."
" Hell no! You're not going anywhere before I get my answers." Taehyung grabbed his hand again, forcing him to look at him.
His hazel eyes met the man's dark ones and deep inside them he clearly saw a storm approaching that twinged his broken heart. And his touch was making it more difficult to face him. Talk to him. End this crazy situation,eating him alive.
" Please remove your hand." Firm and steady, wanting nothing more than to finally get rid of him, ignoring the thundering beating of his heart.
" I would never hurt you Kookie."
Jungkook wanted to laugh as loud as possible. This man would do anything to make sure his dear brother was protected from the man whore who threatened his happy life.
Taehyung let go of him but trailed his fingers on his shoulder and pulled him closer. Leaning forward, his lips attacked Jungkook 's in a hungry, desperate kiss filled with need and passion. Kook scrunched his lips, not wanting to reciprocate and continue this madness by remaining cold and stiff. Or at least trying to..
His body betrayed him and as Taehyung's hand slipped down his waist bringing him closer his senses were bombed by an erotic attack. Having no control, his mouth opened, his moans shuffled out, handing the man the perfect opportunity to slide his tongue inside the warm mouth, exploring every inch of the honey sweet cavity.
The younger 's mind had shut down and glued his body on the older's, surrendering to the passionate kiss, wrapping his arms around his neck, seeking for one shred of love? Care? Tenderness?
One kiss..one last kiss as a farewell. A goodbye to what he thought was love. What he mistook as affection. He then shoved him away, his hands pressing Taehyung's chest and stepped back , holding onto the couch.
" I should have kissed you from the start instead of demanding questions." Taehyung clearly mocked him for being so weak and easy to manipulate.
Jungkook lifted his head, took in a few deep breaths and glared at the man whose betrayal left him broken.
" We're over. Done. I want to break up."
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