Chương 129: Extra: Game Show, Episode 2
TV Producer LBL: Greetings. A worldbreaker has recently attempted to overthrow the systems causing technical malfunctioning and delays in regular programming. We will update you soon if any changes but expect the episode to be moved to next week. We are very sorry for the inconvenience.
A week later…
TV Producer LBL: Unfortunately not only have we failed to eliminate the worldbreaker but they have also kidnapped our lovely Host Immortal Tree.
TV Producer LBL: It seems the worldbreaker is a diehard Tian Shun fan who was enraged by the treatment Tian Shun was getting from the host. Until further notice the gameshow will be moved to next weekend.
Next weekend…
TV Producer LBL: The Worldbreaker agrees they'll bring back Host Tree for the game show. Hostage negotiations have gone smooth. We will now start the show~!
Host Immortal Tree: Welcome hosts, gongs and systems! It is your amazingly talented Host Immortal Tree!
Host Immortal Tree: I would like to sincerely condemn the worldbreaker who kidnapped me because they believed my judgement on Tian Shun was too harsh, their name is ####### and the delay is entirely their fault, please look at this picture of them and shame them if you ever see them.
Jia Hyson: lol
Host Immortal Tree: Before we start, do you lovelies in the audience remember the rules?
Audience: YES
Host Immortal Tree: heh, shame on those who forgot.
Host Immortal Tree: I shall be nice and explain them again.
Host Immortal Tree: Use reactions to vote for your favourite answer! Don't put too many reactions or the answer will be unclear! If you're reading it on web novel well sucks for you!
Host Immortal Tree: Now... introducing the contestants from last time.
First...
Host Immortal Tree: Jia Hyson and Monroe in Team Not incest! In the lead with six points!
Jia Hyson: Yo~
Monroe: Hello.
Host Immortal Tree: Second!!!
Host Immortal Tree: Spicy chicken Team with Da Gong and Tian Shun!! With threeeeee points!
Da Gong: Cluck.
Tian Shun: Hey.
Host Immortal Tree: In last place with two points… Li Guiren and Sefu who make up the bad dad Team!
Sefu: …..
Li Guiren: Hello everybody.
Host Immortal Tree: And onto the questions!
Bebe: ...hey
Bebe: hey
Bebe: hey wtf
Host Immortal Tree: ?
Bebe: Bebe is here too
Host Immortal Tree: Who are these people? SECURITY.
Bebe: ...
Drake: ...
Drake: So, does that mean we don't have to participate?
Host Immortal Tree: …
Host Immortal Tree: Hmmm, well we do have an extra podium for some reason. I suppose it's fine.
Drake and Bebe: ...
Host Immortal Tree: These two extras can be filler.
Drake and Bebe: ...........
Host Immortal Tree: Anyways.
Host Immortal Tree: As a reminder, the worldbreaker who kidnapped me was a fan of Tian Shun, however to give sir Da Gong face I will not pursue this further.
Da Gong: Cuck (thank you)
Tian Shun: Wha- this wasn't my fault this time though?
Host Immortal Tree: :)
Host Immortal Tree: Now before we start we have a message from out sponsor.
Film Empress Noc: Doo~ do~ doo~ do~ Remember to shop with Overlord Li Jun's R&D. The best in the system world. Winner of the Most Creative Skills 36 years running. Overlord Li Jun's R&D- where we make what you don't necessarily want~
Bebe: Ugh, Bebe swears, that guy has bought out almost all the advertising time slots.
Film Empress Noc: This is a public service announcement. One in every two hundred and fifty hundred hosts become world breakers. When asking for a survey before eliminating them, 60% of their responses were F*ck you and f*ck your mother, and the other 40% revealed the reason for their rebellion was due to reasons stemming from false information.
The systems of the system world urge hosts to know the facts and not become world breakers. You will not become god. You will not be able to take over the system world. Are you fucking stupid?
And for the love of system god, if you want to fuck a system, there's really no need to become a world breaker. You can do it with enough p. And only if the system consents you perverted broke fucks.
Thank you for listening.
Jia Hyson: This film empress is really talented ah.
Jia Hyson: I really like when she called us 'perverted broke fucks' hehe.
Bebe: …
Host Immortal Tree: Hehe, thank you the beautiful Film Empress Noc
for being our spokesperson.
Film Empress Noc: It's my pleasure~
Host Immortal Tree: hehe, for the first question lets start some drama!
All contestants: ....
Host Immortal Tree: Out of all the participants-
Host Immortal Tree: Who do like the least?
All contestants: !!!
Jia Hyson: Fuck that's so vicious!
Host Immortal Tree: :)
Spicy chicken Team
Tian Shun: Dad. Obviously.
Tian Shun: Chicken you better pick my father too or we are done.
Da Gong: …Tsk. Cluck. Cluck cluck. [Tsk. Fine. But you have serious daddy issues kid.]
Old Man Team!
Li Guiren: Heh, Tian Shun, I have to say, you are my least favourite son.
Tian Shun: Heh, I'm your only spawn. By that logic I'm also your favourite stupid old man. Middlefinger.jpeg
Li Guiren: …..
Li Guiren: I pick Tian Shun. Sefu, back me up.
Sefu: No.
Sefu: I pick Da Gong.
Li Guiren: What? Where the fuck is the trust between teammates here?
Sefu: I was the one gong who went furthest relationship wise with my kitten. We got married. But Da Gong has three kids with him.
Sefu: I'm sorry but how can I find him appealing to the eyes ah?
Da Gong: Cluck, cluck. [Even if I'm not appealing to your eyes, I'm at least more appealing than you in my little worm's eyes heh.]
Sefu: …
Team Dumb and Bitchy
Drake: Sefu. For the same reason as him.
Bebe: …Wait. Then shouldn't you pick Da Gong with that logic because he's still gone the farthest out of all of you. Technically. I guess.
Drake: Oh.
Drake: That makes sense lol.
Bebe: .....I pick Drake.
Drake: ......…..this tentative teammate relationship is already fallen apart here.
Team Not incest
Monroe: Drake. If only he wasn't there at that time..
Jia Hyson: Umm…
All gongs lean in
Jia Hyson: …
Jia Hyson: …
Jia Hyson, small voice: Li Guiren
Li Guiren: !!!
Bebe: Weirdly this isn't that surprising when you think about it ah.
Jia Hyson: Wuwuwu sorry Xiao Ren but it really hurt when you touched me later on ah!
Li Guiren: It's okay Wei Wei… I know QAQ
Host Immortal Tree: Playing system crossing on a systemo switch
Host Immortal Tree: ...
Host Immortal Tree: hmmm?
Host Immortal Tree: oh!
Bebe: This is bad work ethic right there ah.
Host Immortal Tree: Ahem.
Host Immortal Tree: (Sigh) Look, I'm only monetising the drama. I'm not invested in your petty relationships.
All contenstants: .....rude
Host Immortal Tree: The team who received the most reactions is technically bad dad team
Host Immortal Tree: But since the reactions to sefu were overwhelmingly negative…
Sefu: ...
Host Immortal Tree: The winner is Jia Hyson!!!
Jia Hyson: yay!
Li Guiren: .....
Host Immortal Tree: Heh, be a better person in your next life.
Tian Shun: It seems the old men have been dealt with a double blow lol
Host Immortal Tree: Speaking of the next life!
Host Immortal Tree: If you were reborn
into your current life what would you change?
Jia Hyson: Nice transition host.
Host Immortal Tree: :3
Team Dumb and Bitchy
Drake: I guess I would have told the truth to Adrian about who I was much earlier. I was too cowardly at the time.. But other than that I'm pretty content overall hehe
Host Immortal Tree: (yawn)
Bebe: Well Bebe couldn't change hosts because the overseer was the one who provided my with Jia Hyson. And Bebe also wouldn't turn down my special promotion to Beta system either. So Bebe doesn't really think Bebe would change anything.
Jia Hyson: cough LASER CANNON cough
Bebe: Nah. That shit was worth it. No regrets. YOLOSunglassesCat.gif
Bebe: …Actually Bebe does regret sending that gif
Bebe: Bebe is embarrassed.
Old Man Team!
Li Guiren: I would have tried to find more ways to suppress my yang constitution when I was younger and my constitution was still weak and didn't hurt Wei Wei.
Sefu: I'm surprised you didn't say you wanted a vasectomy or something.
Li Guiren: sigh With the way it happened.. it was probably the better of the options.
Sefu: True.
Sefu: If I could go back, I would be more straightforward. I was too blinded by my own problems and wrapped up in my own conspiracies to notice that my kitten actually loved me all along.
Sefu: If I could I- hey that's mine!
Li Guiren, guzzling vinegar: Not anymore bitch.
Team Not incest
Monroe: I would have confessed sooner. That is my single biggest regret.
Jia Hyson: I would want to live long enough to see my cheap father die.
Jia Hyson: What? That's also my biggest regret of my original life ah.
Host Immortal Tree: (Vigorous clicking from behind the podium)
Spicy chicken Team
Tian Shun: I… I don't know what I would do if I was reborn. There's so much I want to change.
Tian Shun: I guess to get out of that hell of the boarding school for starters. Then convince Wei Wei to leave with me and live out a widowed life without father. Even though father has the yang constitution, he's not invulnerable to physical attacks. I still can use my knowledge as a reborn to make some money and hire someone to kill him. Then there would be no one in my way of happiness.
Bebe: ….It sounds like you know exactly what to do ah.
Li Guiren: This fucking brat.
Da Gong: Cluck [I'm good]
Tian Shun: Nothing?
Da Gong: Cluck [What would I have to change? I have my little worm, my servants, power and strength.]
Tian Shun: ….That's true.
Host Immortal Tree: Hehe catch all the fish.
Host Immortal Tree: oh, we done?
Everyone: ....
Host Immortal Tree: Put in your final votes everyone!
Host Immortal Tree: and before we announce the final result...
Host Immortal Tree: Ad break!
Film Empress Noc: Are you always being forgotten? Feel like nobody remembers you?
Then join the live broadcast by Lul- Oo~ do~ doo~ do~ Remember to shop with Overlord Li Jun's R&D. The best in the system world. Winner of the Most Creative Skills 36 years running. Overlord Li Jun's R&D- where we make what you don't necessarily want~
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Film Empress Noc: Last time on Art of Imperialism- Empress Noc gave the black lotus concubine a face slapping event of the season!
But will that settle down the harem now that a new contender has entered it's ranks? The twists are as endless as the emperor's ruthlessness! Tune in at 9 for the latest episode of the Art of Imperialism!
Host Immortal Tree: Aaaaand we're back.
Host Immortal Tree: The winner is...
Host Immortal Tree: iiiiiisssssssss........
Host Immortal Tree: .............
Host Immortal Tree: Team not incest! Both members received 9 votes!
Monroe and Jia Hyson: !
Monroe: We did it brother!
Jia Hyson: Woo
Host Immortal Tree: Hehe, with eight points team not incest is pulling ahead.
Host Immortal Tree: Spicy chicken still has three points and old man team has two.
Other gongs: clapping We don't care ah as long as our shou is happy.
Bebe: ...
Bebe: But Bebe cares ah
Host Immortal Tree: Well no one cares about Bebe
Bebe: ....
Host Immortal Tree: Heh, you can threaten me but I'm right.
Bebe: Bebe will call your boss and complain about you playing on your switch at work.
Host Immortal Tree: Try it, I dare you :)
Host Immortal Tree: Anyways-
Host Immortal Tree: Onto the next question!
Host Immortal Tree: Pick from each team the dumbest person and explain to us why!
Tian Shun: This is really a spill the tea episode huh.
Old Man Team!
Li Guiren: Sefu on my team.
Sefu: Wtf man
Li Guiren: I went to police academy and did the detective exam.
Li Guiren: You started a civil war because you wanted to fuck your charge who was already throwing himself on you ages ago.
Sefu: …go on.
Li Guiren: Then Monroe, Drake and my idiot son.
Sefu: .... that checks out. I agree
Team Not incest
Monroe: You decide. You know them best ah.
Jia Hyson: Aww, you're so sweet.
Jia Hyson: Me from my team ah, it's been so long the only thing I excel at nowadays is story tropes and the occasional biology fact so I can admit I'm dumber than Monroe who went to a top university ah~
Jia Hyson: Sefu.. sorry but Li Guiren is right. You dumb.
Jia Hyson: Drake. Also sorry. But you also dumb. And I'm scared about picking Bebe.
Jia Hyson: And finally for the spicy chickens…. I'm really sorry Tian Shun.
Tian Shun: What.
Team Dumb and Bitchy
Bebe: Move aside dumbass, I'm answering this.
Drake: …I really want to switch teams.
Bebe: It's really not hard this question. There's a clear idiot in every team.
Bebe: Drake, Sefu. Jia Hyson, Tian Shun.
Tian Shun: WHAT.
Spicy chicken Team
Tian Shun: Guys. I'm a human who was top of the class in high school.
Tian Shun, pointing at Da Gong: That. That is a fucking chicken!
Da Gong: Cluck [Damn right.]
Da Gong: Cluck [Also, Drake, Sefu, Monroe, Tian Shun]
Jia Hyson: Sorry Xiao Shun but… it's Da Gong.
Bebe: Da Gong is just the best.
Drake: The bird has been pulling the weight in your team so far…
Sefu: The rooster should not be underestimated.
Li Guiren: I just don't like you lol.
Tian Shun: Motherfucking fuck.
Li Guiren: Language.
Tian Shun: @%%#&$*&#%$!
Host Immortal Tree: The final votes are in!
the winner is.........
....................
....................
Host Immortal Tree: Bad dad team! With nine votes! Declaring that sefu is a huge idiot!
Sefu: Can we not call it bad dad team.
Sefu: It's already bad enough I'm old.
Sefu: But don't make me carry Li Guiren's pot.
Li Guiren: ...
Host Immortal Tree: :)
Host Immortal Tree: Onto the next question!
Sefu: ...
Host Immortal Tree: This one is rather interesting.
Host Immortal Tree: if you were an insect, what would you do?
Jia Hyson: Interesting is not the word I would... never mind.
Team Not incest
Jia Hyson: Firstly I would clearly be a flower mantis. Pretty and dangerous. I like.
Jia Hyson: I would probably panic at first but eh, adaptation is the key to survival. If you don't adapt. You don't survive. Especially in a bug eat bug world.
Monroe: I think I would want to be also a flower mantis. So I can happily stay by my brother's side uwu
Jia Hyson: …You know mantis' exhibit cannibalistic tendencies right?
Monroe: ......…..
Spicy chicken Team
Tian Shun: I would be a spider. That way I can bind a certain beautiful flower mantis to me and never let go.
Da Gong: Cluck. [I eat spiders.]
Tian Shun: …
Da Gong: Cluck [I will be a bird eating spider. And I will protect my little worm.]
Tian Shun: ....I don't know how to comment on the bird eater spider thing.
Old Man Team!
Sefu: I will be a giant stick insect. That way I can always be nearby my kitten without getting in his way of camouflaging himself.
Li Guiren: To match the beauty of the flower mantis I would be a Queen Alexandra's Birdwing. Not only am I large enough to intimidate I can still proudly stand by my Wei Wei's side unlike some other ugly insects hehe.
The ugly stick insect Sefu: …
Host Immortal Tree: A stick in the mud amirite?
Sefu: ...why
Team Dumb and Bitchy
Drake: I will be an Atlas Moth and take my baby to fly and see the word!
Bebe: That was surprisingly good.
Drake: Hehe thank you.
Bebe: Bebe will be a Periodical cicada who will sleep for 13 to 17 years. Come out and ruin someone's month. Then die.
Drake: …That's nice.
Bebe: It is, isn't it? :)
Host Immortal Tree: Well.
Host Immortal Tree: I think a flower mantis only lives for about six months
so the correct answer…
Host Immortal Tree: is just die.
Jia Hyson: Most bugs don't live that long ah who asked you to ask this question.
Host Immortal Tree: Your dearest fans. Anyways the winner is.....
Host Immortal Tree: AD BREAK!
Film Empress Noc: We interrupt this live broadcast to follow up on the rogue goose that had previously devastated a nearby interstellar carrot farm.
After ruining the livelihood of ex-Space Farmer and local pit boy Aiden, the goose has now set up a an illegal cult worshipping itself and the chaos it brings. System Silly Fox, one of the reporters who had gone to investigate the situation has been last seen being appointed as the head priest of the cult. There has been no trace of System White Fox and it is unknown what had happened to it.
This is new reporters, System Zece and System Chaotic Honey on the scene. Join our in-depth investigation at 11pm.
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Host Immortal Tree: Thank you lovely Empress Noc
Film Empress Noc: Thank you, host tree uwu
Host Immortal Tree: The winner is....
Host Immortal Tree: BOBO
Bebe: ..
Bebe: !!
Bebe: wait
Bebe: Wait
Bebe: Bebe won?
Host Immortal Tree: With nine votes for their annoying answer!
Bebe: BEBE WON ONE
Jia Hyson: Yay, good for you Bebe
Bebe: Bebe is happy QvQ
Host Immortal Tree: Bobo has proved that as usual, they are an annoying insignificant insect.
Bebe: ....
Host Immortal Tree: NEXT QUESTION!!!!
Host Immortal Tree: If you could curse someone with any kind of curse, who would you curse, and what curse would you use?
Spicy chicken Team
Tian Shun: Dad. Curse of impotence. Hehe he can't touch the one he loved and then can't even get hard. Wouldn't that be so funny hehehe.
Li Guiren: DIE
Da Gong: Cluck cluck cluck [Curse of smaller boobs for Tang Muxin. That big breasted human is always sticking around his worm too much.]
Tang Muxin in audience: ......….
Old Man Team!
Sefu: Everyone who has ever fucked my kitten I want to curse with specific memory loss. That way it doesn't matter.
Li Guiren: I curse myself with a yin constitution! Yes! Finally I can touch Wei Wei!
Host Immortal Tree: I wish I had memory loss for every time you called Hyson 'kitten'.
Bebe: Oh wow that's pretty good
Team Not incest
Jia Hyson: I curse the girl who stabbed me with the role of vicious supporting female lead. I hope you lead a life of unfulfilled love and getting face slapped.
Monroe: Drake. I curse you to get fat and bald.
Drake: …So petty yet so vicious
Team Dumb and Bitchy
Bebe: Curse my host to lose half his libido. Just half. It's all Bebe asks. Bebe will even take 40%.
Drake: I don't really have anyone I want to curse to be honest. I guess I'll curse Jia Hyson…. so he can only kiss me hehe.
Other gongs: ...Fuck why didn't we think of that?!
Host Immortal Tree: Hmmm, not vicious enough. We need drama to keep the ratings up.
Jia Hyson: You expect a lot from us huh.
Host Immortal Tree: It's like you aren't even considerate to my needs.
Contestants: ...but we aren't
Host Immortal Tree: sigh
Host Immortal Tree: After all I go through for you.
Contestants: ...
Host Immortal Tree: (Wipes fake tear)
Host Immortal Tree: Anyways the winner is Tian Shun.
Tian Shun: Yay
Tian Shun: Very surprised.
Tian Shun: But yay.
Host Immortal Tree: Kid, if it weren't for the fact we needed someone to be on Da Gong's team you wouldn't even be here.
Tian Shun: ...You're so harsh ah
Host Immortal Tree: Looks at cue card.
Host Immortal Tree: hmm
Host Immortal Tree: Is this correct? How did such a strange question get here?
Host Immortal Tree: Erm.
Host Immortal Tree: The final question is...
Host Immortal Tree: quite… interesting?
Host Immortal Tree: We're not sure how it got into the cue but very well.
Host Immortal Tree: Purely hypothetically, and I quote, in a legally non binding manner, if there was, and this is according to the goose, a horrible mean biting, but funny, goose that believed in survival of the strongest, which naturally is the goose, would you eat it, befriend it, sick a dog on it, etc, what would you do?
Everyone: ............
Host Immortal Tree: Yeah...
Everyone: (stares at Host Tree) wtf man
Host Immortal Tree: Hey, it was your fans who voted for this shit.
Jia Hyson: I cannot believe this is the last question.
Host Immortal Tree: I can't either
Old Man Team!
Li Guiren: …I would try befriend it and see if it can do crimes with me. It would be fun I guess. Like a cop buddy show.
Li Guiren: Strait-laced Police Detective Guiren and the Chaotic Goose Mercenary who only plays by it's own rules, fighting crime and the supernatural.
Jia Hyson: I would watch that.
Bebe: Same ah.
Da Gong: Cluck [A rooster would be better.]
Sefu: Hunt and serve it to my prince on a golden platter.
Sefu: I like a challenge in my prey and my kitten only deserves the best and most vicious of birds to eat.
Jia Hyson: Meow~
Bebe: Ugh
Host Immortal Tree: blegh
Team Not incest
Monroe: Run. I'm not equipped for goose.
Jia Hyson: +1
Team Dumb and Bitchy
Bebe: Eh I'll push host in front of it and see what happens.
(Jia Hyson in the distance: Mean!)
Bebe: Bebe is a pacifist.
Jia Hyson: …One. Untrue. Two. Sacrificing your handsome host is not pacifism.
Drake: Order the best quality goose feed using the power of money and use it to distract the goose as I walk away.
Spicy chicken Team
Tian Shun: If I could befriend it and turn it against my father I would.
Da Gong: Cluck [I will fight and see if it is a worthy opponent. If it is I will let it live and we can be rivals. If it fails to meet expectations than it must be lower it's goose head and serve me or die.]
Host Immortal Tree: (scrolling on phone) Heh, this new manga is quite good.
Everyone: ....
Host Immortal Tree: Well the final winner... will… be announced after this ad break.
Film Empress Noc: Overlord Li Jun's R&D, proud creator of the hit daily product the Dental Millipede now presents the Dental Centipede!
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Film Empress Noc: You won't believe what happens next on the Art of Imperialism! A new concubine enters the fray! The first big argument with the emperor! Will Empress Noc have her heart broken or will the emperor ask for forgiveness first? A drop of ink will stain for a lifetime, but you will always be the pure red cinnabar mole in my heart!
Film Empress Noc: Watch with front row seats at: http://discord.gg/9SbFE9JtrZ
Enjoy the rest of the show~!
Host Immortal Tree: Thank you Noc! muah~
Film Empress Noc: ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎
Host Immortal Tree: Now, the person with the most votes in the last round was Monroe, bringing team Not Incest up.
Monroe: ,,0w0,,
Host Immortal Tree: To a total of nine points!!!!
Host Immortal Tree: They are the winner of the show!!!!
Jia Hyson and Monroe: !!!!
Jia Hyson: Ahhhh 1 million p!
Monroe: Brother! We did it! Muah!
Jia Hyson: We did! We did! Muah muah~~
Other gongs: Guzzling vinegar.gif
Bebe: Woo!
Jia Hyson: We're rich!
Jia Hyson: Let's spend it on all the things!
Bebe: WOO
Host Immortal Tree: Congratulations.
Jia Hyson: Thank you
Host Immortal Tree: Here is your one million p coupon.
Jia Hyson: Thank-
Jia Hyson: Wait. What.
Host Immortal Tree: You can use it to exchange for any of the advertised products on this show.
Jia Hyson: ....
Jia Hyson: Half of those ads weren't even products.
Host Immortal Tree: Guaranteed value.
Host Immortal Tree: It does expire in six months.
Host Immortal Tree: ….pft.
Jia Hyson: Fuck
Bebe: Fuck
Host Immortal Tree: :)
Bebe: Bebe still needs to pay off Bebe's gamer debts
Bebe: The game mafia are really mean
Host Immortal Tree: Overlord Li Jun's products cannot be resold. Scalpers will be prosecuted.
Everyone: ......
Host Immortal Tree: :)
Everyone: ............
Host Immortal Tree: Thank you lovelies for watching, this has been the Better be a Beta? Game show!
Jia Hyson: YOU MOTHERF-
Film Empress Noc: Thank you for watching the show! Please visit our franchisee stores and support the magnificent Overlord Li Jun!
Film Empress Noc: Overlord Li Jun's R&D- where we make what you don't necessarily want~
Film Empress Noc: Also, please support Author God on her kofi!
Film Empress Noc: See you next time! Possibly. ;3
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