I can't help but praise the authenticity of your selected theme... though it is but questionable... I won't mind your ideas. The writing quality is not bad but there are possible improvements. I'd suggest adding more actions in between dialog lines, to make it all more dynamic. Other than that, the only thing that didn't resonate at all with me was the character introduction... or rather its absence. I found it quite hard to follow the dialogue not knowing a thing about the characters, though the relationship between them was quite clear.
That came unexpected
Liezel hesitated before finally admitting the truth. "I stole your sperm," she confessed. "I wanted a child, but I didn't want to be tied to you forever."
Sweet Intention
Urban · Stardreamer12
You could update more frequently. [img=update] I wish I could upload more content but I lack the time to write... By the way, if you have any questions regarding this work, please contact me.
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original Monument of a Labyrinthine Individual
‘Monument of a Labyrinthine Individual’ is an amorphous story. Its universe is unpredictable and boundless in size and depth. All characters are round in construction and lifelike in reason. The major themes are the complexity of human nature and that of existence, expressed through the viewpoint of ever-growing individuals. This story is not meant for everyone.3 Chs 2 คอลเลกชัน
Would you kindly review my book as well? It is called Monument of a Labyrinthine Individual' You can find it here https://www.webnovel.com/book/monument-of-a-labyrinthine-individual_26118412705094305
Sweet Intention
Urban · Stardreamer12