GodsAre_Stupid

Just started clg a few months ago😅

Hmm, I read this and still found many mistakes. Here are some --1. Again, the characters are way too human-like. You need to make robots like robots, pieces of walking metal.(But then this could be contradictory to the "emotions" shown by Optimus in the movies) and if you were to add emotions to the robots, make it more....robot-y? If you want to know what I meant by robot-y, I'm taking reference to the movies. 2. Your timeline in this seemed confusing to me. I have no idea what's happening and when and how. For a reader, you should make it extremely, extremely clear about all these details, because remember, they aren't reading the novel in the way you would read and imagine it.3. The details. For example, in this chapter you introduced the concept of currency. Well , instead of just writing "paid me", explain it like - "he paid me and at the corner of my vision, I saw the icon of [currency name(better to keep one)] and the amount next to it. Satisfied, (one person, could be you or someone else) left." You get what I'm trying to say?😅😅And after writing each chapter, re-read your written chapter 2 or 3 times before publishing it. This allowed me to get a perspective of a reader and to rectify any mistakes I made in my novel. Most important is, let your creativity flow, write it down, let the world know it, and enjoy making new worlds of your imagination. 😁😁Btw, I'm curious, if you don't mind me asking, are you in school, college, job, or a retired person? 😅😅 I keep thinking abt my readers because it's basically a random person's(me) book being read by random people, and I'm kind of a curious about my readers sometime😅

Hey, saw your comment. Just wanted to say it is nice to see someone writing a transformer fan-fic as well!!Now, my opinion for this novel is, that it isn't good enough. This is what I thought from reading the first chapter -1. Your pace is wayyyy too fast. Try to slow it down.2. The details about everything(environment, characters, the world) are not complete. Give more importance to details compared to content size. Always remember, quality over quantity any day(I kept this as my motto when I was writing my novel😅😅).3. I am not much qualified to say this, but your characters feel more human than robots, if you get what I mean. 4. Since you have also adopted a system for your novel, best to explain more about it in detail. For example, explain how the system activated, the functions and all. 5. Give depth to your characters(another mistake I made when I was writing my novel).Do not be sad or disappointed by your book. I know how hard it is to start a novel and be loyal to it and your readers. It takes dedication, creativity, and most importantly, discipline. Take this book as a stepping stone, learn from it, and make the changes. Then let me know about it and I'll come back here again. Remember, quality over quantity. Let the chapter take time to finish and even though you will be suffering right now(due to lack of dedication and creativity and time stress), in the future, your path will be brighter. Better to suffer now than later no?😉😉

Thanks so much for the support man!! Love you!😘😂