"It's her birthday. He's once again filled with sorrow and sadness. No matter how risky the current situation is, we can't disturb him. He's not in a state where he can pay attention to the matters of the pack. We should find some other solution for the time being."
The Broken Angel & Her Overprotective Brothers
Teen · Nightsummer20
Love the chapter and foreshadowing! A bit confused on the whole vampire-werewolf thing, and I'll keep reading to find out! Are both the Alessandro's and the Sullivans werewolves? Are they vampires? I have so many questions! Love the story and plot so far!
I also saw the vampire and werewolf tags, but I'm confused as to who's what. Earlier in her dungeon dream, it mentioned that the other people didn't like her blood, so I thought that they would be the vampires and she would be a werewolf. It also talked about silver chains/wires being used to restrain and cut her, so I assumed that she was a werewolf. Plus, silver hair seems more like a vampire thing to me.
"It's her birthday. He's once again filled with sorrow and sadness. No matter how risky the current situation is, we can't disturb him. He's not in a state where he can pay attention to the matters of the pack. We should find some other solution for the time being."
The Broken Angel & Her Overprotective Brothers
Teen · Nightsummer20
I love how real this story is, and how she deals with her trauma in such real ways. Her thoughts and reactions really show depth to her character and her story.
Still want to punch him
"Maybe she's lacking in manners. What will you expect from someone who's been leaving in an orphanage and running away from foster homes?"
The Broken Angel & Her Overprotective Brothers
Teen · Nightsummer20
Maybe you could change the sentence to "Me and the jerk beside you..." instead of using 'I'. Just a small suggestion to make it flow a little better.
"Hi Em. I'm Crist. I and that jerk beside you are twins. Welcome to the family little one." His voice was welcoming and so were his eyes that looked at me with happiness.
The Broken Angel & Her Overprotective Brothers
Teen · Nightsummer20
I stopped reading this a while ago to wait for more chapters and avoid cliffhangers every time it was updated, and I'm just rereading this so I remember. I'd forgotten how often I want to punch Mark for being a jerk.
I love this little paragraph! It's so true!
You know yourself enough!
The Broken Angel & Her Overprotective Brothers
Teen · Nightsummer20
Or maybe "No one ever wanted a broken little child in their lives... unless they wanted to break it more" Also just a suggestion [img=recommend] It would make it sound just a bit cleaner, and still be more casual than formal.
If they had known about my past they would never have brought me to their house, to their family. No one wanted a broken little child in their lives until....they want to broke them more.
The Broken Angel & Her Overprotective Brothers
Teen · Nightsummer20
But thanks for the feedback 😊 I'm not really surprised I got it completely wrong 😂😅
"It's her birthday. He's once again filled with sorrow and sadness. No matter how risky the current situation is, we can't disturb him. He's not in a state where he can pay attention to the matters of the pack. We should find some other solution for the time being."
The Broken Angel & Her Overprotective Brothers
Teen · Nightsummer20