ScrambledEgg

ScrambledEgg

LV 3
2020-10-18 เข้าร่วมแล้ว Global
ป้าย 6

Moments 326
ScrambledEgg
ScrambledEgg
15 days ago
Posted

Not bad, mc got quite OP pretty fast, my problem with this ff are the POV and the rank of the sign in prize. The POV is strange. Somehow, Author write the MC as 'me' and 'I' even tho the POV comes from Rias or other chara. Usually an Author will write it as 'Him', 'He', or directly write the MC name, because the POV belongs to other people not the MC. Then the rank of the prize, its ok if Rokushiki belongs to white rank, but Rumble Rumble Df, Hiraishin jutsu, and Bankai Zangetsu should be rank higher. Even tho Zangetsu just a fake bankai but its still a bankai, so red or maybe black rank is better, for Rumble DF maybe a red rank and Hiraishin should be green or red, after all it's a space time jutsu. For the plot, pretty average, but not a bad one and still acceptable. Mc isn't an arrogant person, not a killing maniac mc so it is okay.

ScrambledEgg
ScrambledEgg
25 days ago
Replied to NovelExplorer

The WN side that deleted the ff, they purged several translations story, especially story that taken from qidian or faloo. Maybe you can post this ff somewhere else, just some advice.

ScrambledEgg
ScrambledEgg
25 days ago
Replied to DSJect

On my library, i just got several blank cover, but on my history, a lot of book got purged. I know that several of them are translated from qidian or faloo, but that translation is the main reason a lot of ff reader use WN. Maybe another mass relocation would happen just like several years ago when WN forced the reader to used the app

ScrambledEgg
ScrambledEgg
1 months ago
Posted

Average, or maybe slightly below average. Too much plot hole from the story 1. Mc got a cook skill book but he couldn't cook, even just to cut a vegetable he couldn't do it. 2. Somehow he able to use magic, sword etc even tho he never learned to do it or have a skill about it 3. He have auto regen, he's able to heal the injury from the monster in his dungeon but he couldn't heal his hand from his cooking practice, even after he got a magic item to double his regeneration. 4. Koneko is hard to befriend with, but somehow mc able to befriend her the first time they meet, to the point she became a talkative person different from her canon 5. Mc character is fluctuate, change from one after another, he said he like to cause trouble, brave enough to skip some class and fight other but every time he meet koneko he becomes coward. 6. The letter from the Unknown deity is annoying, usually that kind of thing only happen once, when mc reincarnated, but in this ff every time something new happen mc always got some letter

ScrambledEgg
ScrambledEgg
1 months ago
Commented

Senjumaru Shutara? Did you swap the captain? I remember the captain of 12 division is Kirio Hikifune, she created Gikon. Shutara invented Shihakusho, so her promotion happens long before Kirio got her promotion

ScrambledEgg
ScrambledEgg
1 months ago
Posted

Bad start. The setting of his age make this ff kinda strange and cringe. Mc is 17, but he's still in the first or second year of ninja academy, so other students just around 7 years old, somehow his class is the elite class full of other clan successor. This setting just too brainless. Based on his age, if he can't graduate, he should be in the final grade not first grade. Even if he's from Uchiha clan, he shouldn't be in the ELITE CLASS if he failed the grade. He failed grade 10 times. He should be dropped out from the academy if something like that happen. Not to mention that other chara act like nothing happen and Sasuke able to attend the class normally after the Uchiha massacre. Bad start, i just hope the story get better in the later part.

ScrambledEgg
ScrambledEgg
1 months ago
Commented

his plan just too unreasonable, The whole point of other search for naruto because he stole the forbidden scroll, the scroll is the most important part because other ninja think that the scroll is real, so asking naruto to go back but leave the scroll with him is a stupid plan. That's too suspicious.

ScrambledEgg
ScrambledEgg
1 months ago
Posted

A good ff, but in the shippuden part the story kinda bad, too much killing. The progress of the story is pretty good, mc slowly become OP, but in the shippuden arc, he's too OP, more powerful than Nagato. And he slowly becomes behind the scenes mastermind. He doesn't care about other, he manipulate sasuke to kill the konoha elder and all their clan. I know that the Elder is trash, but i don't like the way MC ask other to kill all of them including Konohamaru and Asuma. Even he have some plan to manipulate the 4 Shinobi War and destroy other Village so Konoha become the stongest and other will fear them. Pretty good start, but too much killing make me drop the story

ScrambledEgg
ScrambledEgg
1 months ago
Posted

Sorry, I don't understand, maybe other people able to appreciate your story more than me. From the first ch everything is strange, Author want to make a revenge story with a prolog similar to "the rising of shield hero" when every chara betray MC, but the pace of the story just to fast and the plot of the story is strange. Suddenly Rias ask him for a date, Suddenly Rias accuses mc for R, Suddenly everyone that care about mc betray him, Suddenly his sister dating other, Suddenly other people come back to normal, Suddenly mc have a behind the scenes enemy, Suddenly his sister remember and realized that she got brainwashed. I know that Author wants to make a revenge story, but using a plot devices character that able to brainwashed all the chara from the start of the story is f***up. It's ok if the one that betray MC are his friend and Rias, they want to get rid of him and makes that plan, ok and reasonable. But author includes mc sisters and other that care about him, it just to sudden that kinda unreasonable. Not to mention that author suddenly introduced Mc older sister in that plot. Even after that Rias and other chara act like nothing happen. It just strange and messed up, i'm confused and i don't understand about what happen in the story.

ScrambledEgg
ScrambledEgg
2 months ago
Commented

This story became too complicated, almost all champion became Mc enemies. Team rocket Giovanni, Lance and Lolerei that have tendency to became villain, Lusamine from Aether foundation, and now Johto Alliance, Celestial Family with Cynthia and Devon Corporations with Steven. Mc is OP but making all of that champion became a villain and mc enemies doesn't sound right