Djabilong

Helmut stood and silently watched as a chinese man shouted what sounded like an unintelligible war cry and charged at a giant slug the size of a minibus. Not to be outdone, the slug let out a vicious roar (wait, what?). With a mighty throw the chinese fellow sent an improvised bag filled with salt flying at the monster's face, only to get instantly fried to a crisp with an electrical arc sent out by the blue slug. A moment later there was silence, with only a human body charred black with his hair on fire and a thrashing pile of rapidly melting blue sludge to tell the tale of the most epic battle of the century. Standing there, speechless, Helmut took off his beanie hat and scratched the back of his bald head. There wasn't much to say here except for- "...what the fuck am I even looking at?" / Disclaimer: TCOT is owned by Daoist Fierce Tiger (is it? did he copyright it?) and/or Webnovel (again, not idea how exactly these chucklefucks operate). I'm just fixing their shit by removing the biggest problem the original story had - its protagonist. While I'm at it, might as well drain away all the unnecessary water from this story too and replace it with... I dunno, actual story? We'll see.