once upon a time, in another world line...
Han Su-Yeong clenched and unfurled her fist currently enveloped in [Black Flame] and spoke up. "....I can't figure out why this feels like it's been a really long time."
Omniscient Reader
Urban · 싱숑
I recommend editing it a second time. there is at least one error every other paragraph :)
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Dungeon Rookie
Fantasy · Book_Knight
question words like "when" should be paired with a question mark at the end of the phrase.
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Dungeon Rookie
Fantasy · Book_Knight
second sentence is a fragment missing a subject.
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Dungeon Rookie
Fantasy · Book_Knight
last sentence is a sentence fragment, you started with "while", so after that phrase, add a comma and then a second phrase to complete the thought.
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Dungeon Rookie
Fantasy · Book_Knight
check ur verb tenses here. "outcasted" and such. The use of orchestrated may be incorrect here without proper context.
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Dungeon Rookie
Fantasy · Book_Knight
when you have dialogue that ends in a period, the next sentence should be a new paragraph.
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Dungeon Rookie
Fantasy · Book_Knight
At some point in the marriage, you just accept everything your husband does...
Even though I was looking at a guy completely, utterly trashing my plan to bits, for some reason I didn't get angry.
Omniscient Reader
Urban · 싱숑
oh my god that's halfway to hand holding
Yu Jung-Hyeok was holding my right wrist with enough force to pop it like a balloon while feeling for my pulse. Now that I thought about it, this guy possessed the next best medical skills after Yi Seol-Hwa in our group.
Omniscient Reader
Urban · 싱숑
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original Charging Ahead: Gangster system
High School guy becomes top level gang boss! After getting beat up because he was defending his little sister's honour, he gains the ability to see his stats every time he fights, and becomes able to use techniques straight from a menu system that allows him to learn skills and level up in this violent punk school life! Updates approximately once a month.15 Chs 30 คอลเลกชัน
Better
Dungeon Rookie
Fantasy · Book_Knight